Douge's Humor Corner - Faith and Passion Needed

Church Ladies With typewriters.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

I Golf on Fridays

Sue and her husband Frank went for counseling after 35 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Sue went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 35 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Sue to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Frank watched with raised eyebrows!

Sue shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Frank and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week... Can you do this?"

Frank thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf."

Faldo's Golf Course Management: Bunkers

Our beloved Faldo once again travels to foreign and exotic places in order to learn more about the great game of golf. In this installment Nik shares with us a public service announcement he recently filmed while on assignment in faraway Minnesota. This enlightening video reminds us of the value one should have for golf course bunkers.

Watch and learn!

Pre01 Wins His 3rd NPP Tilt of the Year!

Pre01 has all the ladies floored by his performance. He was one of the contenders in the 1st quarter is back at it now.

Pre01 defeats a strong field of sixteen other players on a night when PokerStars was in the mood to chase us out of the poker room early. Short stacks never had a prayer of climbing back in it seemed. This was one of our shorter tourneys, even with a nice crowd.

SpartanFlash takes the 2nd quarter lead and T3chlady is in second with both of them having strong performances in the first two rounds of this quarter. Nice job!

On to the action:

29 min: A short-stacked (SS) LittleRedElf (17th) sees his A-high lose to K9isadog’s pair of Jacks.

31 min: A SS Absea98 (16th) has to go with (KJ) but 8thmile has (AT).
38 min: Eyekall (15th) has (AQ) and an [A] on the flop. ThePunk75 has (TT) and a [T] hits the river! Ouch!

44 min: A SS Sanster89 (14th) runs into K9isadog’s (AA).
47 min: A SS Wingsfancurt (13th) sees his (AJ) run into Pre01’s (AA). The short-stacks seem to be running into brick walls.

50 min: Lump2 (12th) sees his (JJ) lose to Suetman123’s (AT) with an [A] on the flop.
51 min: A SS Bigbrimar (11th) runs into SpartanFlash’s flush. More brick walls.
51 min: ThePunk75’s (10th) Missed hand as the table closes fast.

1st break:
Derf-63 5748
Pre01 4047
Suetman123 3411
K9isadog 2772
SpartanFlash 2575
ThePunk75 2345
T3chlady 2107
Mikeniks-Faldo 1400
8thmile 1095

67 min: ThePunk76 (9th) has (AQ) and the flop has an [A] in it. But Pre01 has (AK)! After this, the table settles in for a while.

88 min: Suetman123 (8th) hits two pair on the flop holding (A8). Pre01 has (KK) and hits a [K] on the turn.

95 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (7th) goes with (A4) and runs into K9isadog’s (AT).
100 min: A SS Derf-63 (6th) has to go with (KT) and a flop of [2KA]. Pre01 calls with (QJ) and a [T] hits the turn! Ouch!

104 min: PokerStars now clears them out in a hurry. A SS 8thmile (5th) with (44) is called by SpartanFlash’s (AT) and a [T] and [A] hit the board.

105 min: A SS T3chlady (4th) goes with (T8) and a flop of [Ts 6h Js] and is called by SpartanFlash with (As 2s) and the third spade hits on the river.

100 min: K9isadog (3rd) goes with (99) and loses to Pre01’s (TT).
106 min: SpartanFlash (2nd) goes with (QT), but Pre01 has (KJ).

Congratulations to Pre01 on his 3rd NPP win of the year!

1st – Pre01
2nd – SpartanFlash
3rd – K9isadog
4th – T3chlady
5th – 8thmile Tomservo2
6th – Derf-63
7th – Mikeniks-Faldo
8th – Suetman123
9th – ThePunk75
10th – 95corolla
11th – Bigbrimar
12th – Lump2Sanster89
13th – Wingsfancurt
14th – Sanster98
15th – Eyekall
16th - Absea98
17th - LittleRedElf

The 2nd quarter standings and the total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

An Important Announcement for all NPP readers

Community Card Review: Liberalism is a Lie, as are the People Who Are Liberals

NBC doctored the tape of George Zimmerman’s 911 call prior to the shooting of Trayvon Martin.

ABC doctored a video tape to hide the injuries to Zimmerman’s head as he was lead to a police station for questioning after the shooting.

CNN doctored an audio tape of the 911 call, trying to make it appear that Zimmerman said, “Fxxxing coon” instead of what he did say, “It’s fxxxing cold.”

In order to stoke the racial angle, the New York Times reported that Zimmerman was a 'white Hispanic.' Funny, I never heard the NY Times refer to Obama as a 'white African.'

Media polls that they claim represent public opinion, always interview more Democrats than Republicans. Sometimes at a 80 to 20 ratio – democrats over republicans.

The media ran story after story on how $3 gas – some of the time- under George Bush, was destroying poor Americans and making Bush’s oil buddies rich. Now gas is a $5 a gallon permanently and the media is reporting on how all of us have ‘adjusted well’ to the change.

Environmental scientists were proven to have falsified data and reports in order to push the “Global Warming” hoax.

The Environmental Protection Agency produced fraudulent videos to show possible risks associated with a method of oil production known as ‘fracking’, in order to stop the production of oil.

The media ran story after story about how 5% unemployment under George Bush was ‘the worst economy since the Great Depression.’ Now, unemployment is at 14% and we are told by the media, this is the “new norm.”

The Labor Department fudges the unemployment figures every single time they are officially reported. How do I know? A week or two after they are released for media reporting, they are always “adjusted” and are always much worse than originally stated. That correction IS NOT reported by the media.

The Obama Administration lied about the cost of Obamacare prior to the vote.

The Obama Administration lied about the fact Medicare funding is significantly cut in order to fund it.

The Obama Administration lied about the “death panels” that are in the Obamacare bill.

The Obama Administration lied about the fact that everyone will lose their current healthcare plans under Obamacare.

The Obama Administration lied about the fact that every citizen will be FORCED to buy health insurance FROM the GOVERNMENT.

The Obama Administration lied about the fact that in Obamacare, the doctor will have to get permission from Washington before treating you for anything considered by the government to be “serious.”

The Obama Administration lied about the Stimulus Bill making “shovel ready” jobs, and Obama laughed about it later.

Democrats, liberals, progressives, socialists and communists MUST lie in order to survive. They have to lie to themselves - and especially to you.

Democrats overwhelmingly are against voter identification prior to voting, and all voter validation after voting has taken place. Is there any doubt as to why that is?

Democrats and liberals rarely stand up and identify themselves as to what they are - and that they hate our capitalist system, and hate our Constitution that limits government powers.

Conservatives always admit their love for our Constitution, our liberty and the freedom of the capitalist system.

Now you know why. Democrats are liars. They have to be or liberalism collapses.

We Are Never Really Alone Anymore!

Tomservo2 Wins His 7th NPP Event

Multiple choice: Which girl was the most impressed with Tomservo2’s win?

Tomservo2 made short work of a short field of twelve players to take the early lead in the 2nd Quarter standings.

We welcome back an old friend at NPP tonight; SpartanFlash. And he returned in a big way! Good to see you Ron.

Faldo is a little disappointed with the turnout. After all, it was a perfect night to snuggle up by the warmth of the computer monitor and play some cards with friends. But, sometimes life interrupts poker. There were some live games being hosted this evening.

On to the action:

21 min: A short-stacked (SS) Lump2 (12th) goes with (AK) and SpartanFlash has to call with (Ad Qd) and three diamonds are on the board by the turn.

30 min: Eyekall (11th) two pair runs into SpartanFlash’s higher two pair.
40 min: A SS Wingsfancurt’s (10th) loses to LittleRedElf’s (77).
43 min: A SS Suetman123 (9th) sees her (Kh Jh) lose to Tomservo2’s (AQ).

1st break:
Tomservo2 5503
SpartanFlash 3070
Mikeniks-Faldo 2775
T3chlady 2695
Derf-63 1800
ThePunk75 1423
Absea98 707
LittleRedElf 27

63 min: Having lost to Derf-63’s full house at the break, LittleRedElf (8th) was a major SS when T3chlady took him out with trip sixes.

65 min: A SS Absea98 (7th) runs into Tomservo2’s straight.
87 min: A SS Mikeniks- Faldo (6th) loses a coin flip with (KQ) to SpartanFlash’s (TT).
88 min: ThePunk75 (5th) with (66) cannot catch T3chlady’s (TT).
96 min: A SS SpartanFlash (4th) goes with a pair of Nines and runs into Derf-63’s two pair..

104 min: Derf-63 (3rd) sees his Queens over Jacks two pair lost to Tomservo2’s Aces over Jacks two pair. Ouch!

Heads up: Tomservo2 12500 - T3chlady 5500
105 min: Tomservo2 12500 - T3chlady 5500

110 min: This is a back breaker! T3chlady (2nd) has to go with (Q2) and a flop and turn of [262K]. Tomservo2 has to call with (K5). A [K] hits the river! Wow ….and ouch!

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 7th NPP win!

1st – Tomservo2
2nd – T3chlady
3rd – Derf-63
4th – SpartanFlash
5th – ThePunk75
6th – Mikeniks-Faldo
7th – Absea98
8th – LittleRedElf
9th – Suetman123
10th – Wingsfancurt
11th – Eyekall
12th – Lump2

The 2nd Quarter Standings and Total Point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Community Card Review: Let’s See How the Democrats Like Their Wealth Being Stolen? Eh….Not So Much!

Ah, the Democrat way.

A long time Democrat Campaign Treasurer, Kinde Durkee, has been arrested on suspicion of fraud. No shock there. She's a Democrat.

But in this case, she is accused of stealing $7 million from her clients, which are wealthy Democrats and Democrat donor collection organizations.

According to the Federal Attorney’s office in Sacramento, Durkee has been at it for over a decade. She used richer people’s money to cover her own business and personal expenses. Things like her American Express bill, vacations, places to stay and to fund the employee’s pension funds at her company.

Durkee had access to over 700 Democrat accounts and is accused of robbing them blind. She will be facing charges and will probably get a plea deal offer.

Let’s look at what she is charged with:

1. Using other people’s money to fund her own pet projects (sounds like the Stimulus Bill)

2. Using other people’s money to fund specific pension funds, which means they were under-funded in the first place and will be in trouble again soon. (Sounds like the Stimulus Package and the take over of the auto companies)

3. Stealing from people richer than herself, confiscating their wealth, and using it for her own use, to benefit herself more than anyone else (Sounds like the entire plank of the Democrat Party)

That’s a Democrat all right. Why is it ok for Democrats to do these same acts to the people of the United States, but it is wrong for Kinde Durkee to do it to them?

Kinde Durkee is Barack Hussein Obama. Durkee's crime was not using the Democrats and professional and amateur communist activists - who use the power of government and mob rule - to rob all citizens or their wealth, not just rich Democrats.

Kinde Durkee is accused of using other people’s money to pay for her life.

She is the quintessential Democrat. Pure and simple.

For those of you in Ann Arbor, "quintessential" means she is a perfect example of a Democrat.

Faldo Wins 225-Player Rise Poker Tourney

The most important thing is to always be yourself. Always be yourself.

Unless you can be Faldo. ALWAYS be Faldo!

Francesca Lodo can't be Faldo, so sneaking into the NPP Lounge to be near Faldo will have to do. Lucky girl.

At the post - tournament press conference, Faldo had this statement:

"Faldo would like to thank all the little people who have helped Faldo get to this point - a tournament winner!

Faldo would like to thank my coaches, my friends whom Faldo had discussed poker hands and strategy with over the years, and especially my opponents. Because after all, you can pick up knowledge thru both their good plays and bad plays over the course of playing.

So, Faldo would like to thank each and every one of you. Faldo really would.

But Faldo can't. Because Faldo did it all by himself." [Cue the applause track. No! The heavy applause track.]

The tournament boiled down to this hand really. Ten person final table, six people left. Faldo sat comfortably (20 big blinds) in 5th in chips. Everyone was pretty close in chips. Only #6 was really short-stacked. The villian was in 3rd place.

Faldo is in the big blind with (7s 5d), when the button min raises and the small blind (chip leader - 30 big blinds) calls. Faldo calls also.

The flop is [5s 2s 9h] and the small blind checks. Faldo bets about a quarter of the pot. The button re-raises half the pot and the small blind folds.

Now for some history. Since we sat down at this final table, this villian has folded only 3 hands out of 20 and had not raised maybe only 6 hands out of 20. He has won a few and lost a few, but he is obviously playing to win or go home.

Well, he probably is home, but you know what I mean.

Faldo decides that the villian has A3, A4, or a flush draw. If he has A9 or trips, then his aggressive behavior thus far earned him my suicide plunge.

Faldo moves all-in, expecting a fold or a insta-call with a dominating hand.

The villian calls with (Ks 2h)! Faldo's pair of fives holds on and now Faldo has the chip lead and cruises to victory.

But who makes this call with bottom pair and only a backdoor flush draw for their tournament life at the final table with a decent stack?

Oh, did I mention this tourney is for play chips and a seat in a money tournament we all already qualified for by making the final table?

Hey, where is everyone going? Faldo was going to allow another press conference at
Buffalo Wild Wings where everyone could buy Faldo some beers. Come back!

Faldo was knocked out early in the money tourney when his (JJ) got spiked by an (AK).

The NPP Staff is Prepared For Any Emergency!

No more Taco Bell burritos, Coney Joe's Chili Dogs or Buffalo Wild Wings mango-habanero wings with a Nacho on the side for Faldo!

Well, not in the same day anyway.

Douge2's Humor Corner: Too Much and Too Little Information

A Gripping Tale

Tim and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Tim fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart, Tim was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. 



Within a couple of weeks, Tim had taken Dorothy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Tim became convinced that Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.



On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Tim took Dorothy to a fine restaurant.

While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Tim said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life-changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem, for us, you'd better say so now!"



Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, "Tim, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for about the last five years I've been a hooker."



"I see," Tim replied thoughtfully. He looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment, deep in serious thought then he added, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."


Always Get a Second Opinion

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates a very bad headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

LittleRedElf Wins the 1st Seat in the NPP Final!

That is correct little missy. You always have to look up to see LittleRedElf in the NPP standings.

With his 15th NPP win, the master, LittleRedElf overtakes the leaders to steal the seat away from a host of pursuers.

With a late rush, LittleRedElf had two wins, a second and a third in the last six tourneys! Against the NPP field, that is no small accomplishment.

On the bright side, the rest of the league does not have to worry about Elf the rest of the season. If he is ahead of you, he doesn’t affect you at all. He already has his seat, so he can’t steal your spot – either for the last 3 seats or the total points at-large seats.

Whew! That is a relief.

On to the action:

28 min: Derf-63 (13th) I was playing my hand on the other table and missed this.
39 min: A short-stacked (SS) Sandster (12th) goes with a pair of Fours but 8thmile had a pair of Sixes.

35 min: 8thmile (11th) runs into Suetman123’s (AA).
51 min: ThePunk75’s (10th) title hopes are dashed as he is double-teamed by LittleRedElf and the winner, Suetma123 with (AA).

1st break:
Suetman123 5345
Mikeniks-Faldo 3220
Pre01 2710
Tomservo2 2350
K9isadog 1560
LittleRedElf 1495
T3chlady 1165
95corolla 880
Absea98 775

72 min: A SS 95corolla (9th) is double-teamed by Mikeniks-Faldo and the winner Tomservo2 with two pair.

76 min: A SS Absea98 (8th) is double-teamed by Suetman123 and the winner, Mikeniks-Faldo with a pair of Kings.

83 min: A SS Pre01 (7th) with (A8) loses to K9isadog’s (55). Pre01 now has to see if the rest of the field can hold off LittleRedElf, who needs a 2nd place finish, or at least a 3rd if K9isadog wins it. K9isadog needs a win and a LRE 4th or lower finish. Very exciting.

87 min: A SS Suetman123 (6th) loses to Mikeniks-Faldo’s straight.

91 min: Tomservo2 (5th) with (AQ) cannot catch LittleRedElf’s (KK).

97 min: LittleRedElf clinches the 1st quarter seat as a SS T3chlady (4th) is double-teamed by LittleRedElf and the winner, Mikeniks-Faldo who has a pair of Aces.

100 min: A dejected K9isadog (3rd) goes with his pair of Nines (98) and a flop with a [9] in it. But LittleRedElf has (Q9). Ouch!

Heads up: Mikeniks-Faldo 10500 - LittleRedElf 9000
105 min: Mikeniks-Faldo 12500 - LittleRedElf 7000
110 min: Mikeniks-Faldo 15300 - LittleRedElf 3200

2nd break;
115 min: Mikeniks-Faldo 10900 - LittleRedElf 8600

Right back where we started as Faldo’s trips are beat by a LRE flush. Faldo can feel the cards and momentum swing right there.

122 min: There is a raise and a call and a flop of [8s6hTs]. Faldo bets with (A6) and gets re-raised all-in by LittleRedElf with (As 9s). Faldo thinks for a while and folds the leading hand, and LRE’s over-card counterfeited. We will never know the outcome of this hand, but based on the next one, but Faldo would have rather made his stand here. Faldo is now 2nd in chips.

124 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (2nd) has to go with (A7) and a flop of [689]. Faldo moves all in really expecting a fold, but LittleRedElf calls with (A9). A reverse of the 122 minute hand as LRE has the pair and Faldo has the draw. Faldo’s over-card is of course counterfeited and Faldo don’t get the straight either.

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 15th NPP win and on clinching the 1st seat in the NPP Finals!

1st – LittleRedElf
2nd – Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd – K9isadog
4th – T3chlady
5th – Tomservo2
6th – Suetman123
7th – Pre01
8th – Absea98
9th – 95corolla
10th – ThePunk75
11th – 8thmile
12th – Sanster89
13th – Derf-63

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Douge2’s Birthday Bash a Success – Faldo Finishes 5th in Douge2’s Tourney

It was a great Man’s Night Out Party for Douge2’s ‘29th’ birthday. Held at the Brookside Golf Club, the view out the window of the banquet room showed us wild turkeys and dozens of deer wandering around the fairways. A beautiful site!

As you can see, Julia Georges was looking at nature as well.

The menu was a nearly all venison spread, including;
Deerballs
Fawn in a bacon wrap
Sloppy Does
White Tail Bruchetta

Along with chips, dips, salsa, beans, cole slaw, and I know I am leaving out some stuff. Brownies and Killians Red was for dessert. Well, the Killians was dessert for Faldo all night.

Douge2 was still one of the four remaining (even with a bounty on his head!) when Faldo got (AQ) in the big blind and an [A] flopped. I moved in and was called by the small blind who slow played (AK).

I slow play and I get a set shoved up my nose – and no, not Julia’s set either.

A good time was had by all. Here is hoping Douge2 will fill in the blanks after Faldo headed out to go home and burn every Ace and Queen in all his decks of cards.

The #6 Cigar in the USA – CAO

“One cigar company that has helped to raise the level of awareness and has helped to maintain the popularity of cigar smoking is the Cao Cigar Company.

History

The Cao Cigar Company is headquartered in Nashville, Tennessee. The company was founded by an Armenian Turk by the name of Cano Ozgener. Mr. Ozgener had a great passion for a good cigar. The company derives its name, CAO, from the initials of its founder, Cano A. Ozgener.

Their first cigar brand was called Casa de Manuel. Business did not fare well and leadership decided to retreat to the safety of manufacturing pipes and humidors.

Eventually, when cigar smoking hit its stride in sales, the Cao Cigar Company ventured back into the cigar market and became successful with their introduction of their version of the maduro.

The Cao Cigar Company manufactures and distributes several distinctive lines of cigars.

The particular brands of cigars manufactured by the Cao Cigar Company include the Gold, Double Maduro, Creole, Brasilia, and three separate versions of the L’Anniversaire. Those brands include the Maduro, eXtreme and Cameroon. Also, through expansion, other companies have been added the Cao cigar business family.

Two Cigar Lines
Two specific Cao Cigar lines are the Brazilia and the CAO Gold. Each of these cigars is distinctive in their own right and offers a unique smoking experience for the cigar lover.

The CAO Brazilia is a blend of tobacco leafs that utilizes a deep Brazilian wrapper that enfolds an excellent tobacco from the country of Nicaragua. The opportunity of smoking this Cao Cigar can be best described by using the language of sweetness coupled with a wonderful blend of spiciness. This robust flavor provides a wonderful cigar smoking experience.

Another line of Cao Cigar is the CAO Gold. This special cigar uses a wrapper grown in Ecuador and, in addition to a fine smoking encounter, provides visual appeal to the eyes through a finely crafted cigar. Indulging in this rich pleasure will provide a taste that is even, smooth and provides a hint of a nutty-like flavor.” - Hat tip to Refresh Articles for this report.

Now for Faldo’s two cents: Not so much. Not a fan.

The tobaccos used in CAO’s come from Honduras or Nicaragua and are a little harsh for Faldo’s taste. Most are a medium to full bodied strength.

Faldo tried the CAO Gold a few times (different boxes), which are supposed to be “mild to medium” and Faldo found them to burn a little hot and have a bite near the end.

But CAO is #6 cigar in the nation for a reason. The top Five Faldo agrees with. Number 6, not so much.

95corolla Wins His 2nd NPP Title and Has a Shot at 1st Quarter Glory!

95corolla impressed the pants...and the shirt off of Dana Workman with his performance.

He triumphed over a host of NPP’ers desperate to win tonight. The 1st quarter leaders were MIA or early exits – like a leading marathon runner that stumbles and this gave the pack a chance to make up some ground.

With one week left, here are the contenders left in the 1st quarter race;
Pre01
ThePunk75
LittleRedElf
95corolla
K9isadog

The rest will almost assuredly have to wait until next quarter to win their seat in the NPP final. But valuable points for the two Total Points seats will still be …well, valuable!

On to the action:

19 min: Pre01 (14th) loses to T3chady’s trips.
23 min: KingBing420 (13th) hits a straight but loses to Sanster89’s full house! Ouch!
30 min: Absea (12th) goes with (QQ) but is double teamed by Sanster89 and Mikeniks-Faldo, and Faldo wins with (AA).

35 min: ThePunk75 (11th) sees his two pair get run over by 8thmile’s flush.
36 min: Tomservo2 (10th) missed it playing my hand.
47 min: T3chlady (9th) sees her (AK) get run down by a short-stacked (SS) Sanster89’s (K5) with a flop of [85384].

51 min: Sanster89 (8th) is double-teamed by Suetman123 and the winner, LittleRedElf with two pair.

54 min: A SS Suetman123 (7th) loses to Derf-63’s (88).

1st break:
Lump2 6525
LittleRedElf 4720
Derf-63 3850
8thmile 2970
Mikeniks-Faldo 2305
95corolla 630

63 min: A SS 8thmile (6th) has to go with (A6) and loses to Lump2’s (A9).

85 min: Lump2 with (AJ) flops two pair on a board of [JKA], but 95corolla is holding (KK). Ouch! Lump2 moves from 1st in chips to 3rd and 95corolla moves from 4th to 1st! Things change quickly in no-limit holdem!

98 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (5th) hits trip Kings (K9) and loses to 95corolla’s (22) full house with a [2K8K] flop and turn. To be fair, Faldo should have folded when Faldo got re-raised on the turn. Figured my trips were no good, but Faldo was in a weak 4th in chips, and Derf-63 was sitting there with less chips than a blind.

A fold probably guarantees Faldo 4th. But all the players remaining need to win to have a shot at this 1st quarter title. Faldo called looking for the nub. No nub. And NO POINTS either! Point bubble boy – a new title for Faldo.

100 min: A SS Derf-63 (4th) has to go with (A8) but falls to 95corolla’s (A4) with a [4] on the river.

2nd break;
95corolla 9960
Lump2 6235
LittleRedElf 4805

136 min: A SS Lump2 (3rd) goes with his pair of Sevens, but LittleRedElf has two pair.

Heads up: LittleRedElf 13000 - 95corolla 8000
140 min: LittleRedElf 8000 - 95corolla 13000

142 min: A SS LittleRedElf (2nd) has to go with (Ks 9s), but 95corolla has (A2).

Congratulations to 95corolla on his 2nd NPP win!

1st – 95corolla
2nd – LittleRedElf
3rd – Lump2
4th – Derf-63
5th – Mikeniks-Faldo
6th – 8thmile
7th – Suetman123
8th – Sanster89
9th – T3chlady
10th – Tomservo2
11th – ThePunk75
12th – Absea98
13th – KingBing420
14th – Pre01

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Come to the USA, the Democrats Say!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgOHOHKBEqE

If you are thinking about illegal immigration, be careful when you are choosing a nation. Because in some countries, breaking the law is frowned upon. Imagine that!

Sneak into China and they will call you a spy, and ship you off to Mongolia until you die.

In the Sudan, they will hang you and the camel you road in on.

Don't go hiking into Iran, or you may never be heard from again.

And in Mexico, you might face a firing squad.

Forget all about going to North Korea. That's a great example of a bad idea.

So when it comes down to it, there is only one option you got.

Yeah, come to the USA! There is no penalty to pay, should you get caught illegally immigrating.
Come to the USA! It will be your lucky day, cause if you get in, there's lots of goodies waiting.

Like health care, welfare, education. Help with your voter registration!
And driver's license and credit cards, and license plates for your old car.
Lots of jobs for you to do and employers that will turn a blind eye too.
Come to the USA!

No need to worry about the Constitution. The Democrats will help you start a house of prostitution, if that is the kind of work that you want to do.
You see, those crazy gringo infidels are crazy! They will give citizenship to your new baby. So you see? There is really only one choice for you.

Yeah, come to the USA! There is no penalty to pay, should you get caught illegally immigrating.
Come to the USA! It will be your lucky day, cause if you get in, there's lots of goodies waiting.

You get public housing, cable TV, food stamps, and even government cheese!
The borders are a swinging door. Go back home for a visit, then come back for more.
There is sanctuary and amnesty. Bring the whole fam-damily...eventually.

Come to the USA!

The Democrats are committed to the destruction of the American way of life.

Faldo Finishes 4th in Shark's Club Tourney; K9isadog Also Makes the Final Table!

Allison was there to cheer the NPP players on in this 40 player tournament!

Faldo managed a 4th place finish just thru his usual miser strategy with chips and a few key pot wins. Also with 6 remaining, a short-stacked Faldo spiked a [T] on the river holding (Jd Td) against an opponent who had him covered with (AQ). A [QJ3] flop put Faldo in desparate straits, but the river [T] saved him.

The 4th place finish was good for a slightly better return of doubling the entry fee ($110 = $60 gravy)

It was a standard night for Faldo in Card World. Faldo never saw AA, KK, JJ, TT or AK.

I had one (QQ) which conveniently ran into (AA) to really short-stack Faldo half way thru the tournament. And I never really got out of that position.

Only two AQ's (both suited - one took a pot uncontested and the other lost on the river) and only two (99), both of which had to be folded after the flops of over cards and heavy betting (ducking AA once).

The rest of the cards were garbage. Or a Boother36 says, "A hand full of feces."

Faldo's decisions to fold hands before they hit the flop worked out 4 of the 5 times. Faldo would have been run down if he would have called that flop and pushed after hitting the likes of two pair, trips and even a straight!

Faldo flopped a straight with (53) in the big blind and a board of [7h 4d 6d]. But even this pot win was an adventure. I check being first to act, hoping this table of maniacs would push. The button dutifully bet and all three of us behind called.

I am - as usual - short-stacked, and I am trying to milk this hand for all I can. Protecting it gets me little return if they all fold.

The turn was a rotten [8d]. Probably the worse card in the deck for Faldo's hopes. But this gets checked around.

The river is a [7]! Another bad card for Faldo. But I bet half the pot anyway, and get called in one spot and take down some much needed ammo.

It was that kind of night. Surviving every lap - barely - all the way to 4th place.

K9isadog made a move with (K3) and a board of [938] and a turn card [8]. His only opponent had to call........with (88)!!! Quads!! Ouch! K9 finished 8th.

Pre01 finished 29th as his (QQ) lost to (A4) with an [A] hitting the board.

Don't you worry NPP'ers. You were well represented this night.

A sighting of Fourbetbluff at the cash table was also acknowledged.

K9isadog’s fantastic play ….just floored Romina!

It’s a ball game now. ThePunk75 inched closer to the leader Pre01. K9isadog takes over 3rd. T3chlady stays in the race in 4th, just ahead of LittleRedElf. And another four players could still get there with a little help.

Very exciting stuff with two rounds left in the 1st quarter.

We welcome a new addition to the NPP family; Topwrench123. Thanks for joining.

And remember, NPP at the Sharks Club in Howell tomorrow night!

On to the action:

19 min: A short-stacked (SS) Tomservo2 (16th) sees his (KQ) run into K9isadog’s (AT).
32 min: A rare double kill as T3chlady takes out both Derf63 (15th) and Sanster89 (14th) with a pair of Aces.

35 min: Suetman123 (13th) goes with (QQ) but gets run down by Pre01’s straight.
39 min: A SS 95corolla (12th) goes with (Ah 7h) but cannot run down K9isadog’s (TT).
41 min: A SS Topwrench123 (11th) has to go with (KT) and runs into K9isadog’s (AA).
44 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (10th) has to go with (Kd 7d) and is called by another SS, ThePunk75 with (QT), and a [Q] hits the flop.

47 min: Lump2 (9th) sees his (QQ) get run down by T3chlady’s (77) with a flop of [774]!! Ouch!

53 min: KingBing420 (8th) is double-teamed by the K9isadog and the winner, T3chlady with (TT).

87 min: Absea98 (7th) sees his (AA) lose to a two-outer as K9isadog has (66) and a [6] hit the river! Ouch! It is interesting that the EXACT same thing happened last week to knock a player out in 7th place. Weird.

1st break:
K9isadog 7675
T3chlady 5710
Pre01 3545
ThePunk75 3520
8thmile 2610
LittleRedElf 940

63 min: LittleRedElf (6th) loses to ThePunk75’s (QQ).
83 min: SS Pre01 (5th) has to go with (Ac 3c) but runs into ThePunk75’s (KK).
105 min: A SS 8thmile (4th) has to go with (Ac 4c) but runs into K9isadog’s (KK).

2nd break;
K9isadog 10912
T3chlady 7294
ThePunk75 5794

132 min: A SS ThePunk75 (3rd) goes with (KQ) but K9isadog has (AK).

Heads up: K9isadog 15800 - T3chlady 8200

135 min: K9isadog 17800 - T3chlady 6200
140 min: K9isadog 11800 - T3chlady 12200


144 min: A SS T3chlady (2nd) has to go with (A5), but cannot catch K9isadog’s (77).

Congratulations to K9isadog on his 11th NPP win!

1st – K9isadog
2nd – T3chlady
3rd – ThePunk75
4th – 8thmile
5th – Pre01
6th – LittleRedElf
7th – Absea98
8th – KingBing420
9th – Lump2
10th – Mikeniks-Faldo
11th – Topwrench123
12th – 95corolla
13th – Suetman123
14th – Sanster89
15th – Derf-63
16th - Tomservo2

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

NPP Night at the Sharks Club in Howell Wednesday

Jodie should stop hanging around Faldo's office, playing with his cigar, and make it to the Sharks's Club this Wednesday night!

Texas Holdem Tournament (usually 30 to 50 people)

1140 South Michigan Ave , Howell
517-540-0300

Pre01 and Faldo will be there at least!

A little short notice but see if you can make it. Here are the particulars:

7pm start.
Entry = $40
13,000 chips
15 minute blinds
No Rebuys
$10 add on at 1st break

Hope to see some NPP’er there live!

LittleRedElf Moves into 2nd in All Time NPP Wins!

This lady enjoys the mastery of LittleRedElf’s poker skills from the rail!

With his usual strong play and some help from the poker gods, LittleRedElf rolled over fourteen other players to win this NPP round. With it, he moves into contention for the 1st quarter seat. An intense finish to the 1st quarter seems to be brewing.

We welcomed back Bigbrimar tonight, as his work schedule has backed off enough where he can play again. Good to see you Brian.

On to the action:

30 min: Sanster89 (15th) Working on my basketball bracket.
40 min: Derf-63 (14th) I missed it playing my hand.
43 min: A short-stacked (SS) Wingsfancurt (13th) has to go with (Kd 6d) but Douge2 has (33).

46 min: Absea98 (12th) sees his flush run into T3chlady’s bigger flush. Ouch!
48 min: Suetman123 (11th) sees her two pair lose to T3chlady’s bigger two pair.

52 min: KingBing420 (10th). I did not see it as the table closed too fast.
54 min: 8thmile (9th) sees his (TT) run into Douge2’s (AA).

1st break:
LittleRedElf 4930
Douge2 4735
Mikeniks-Faldo 2995
T3chlady 2800
95corolla 2355
Bigbrimar 2135
ThePunk75 1670
Tomservo2 880

77 min: ThePunk75 (8th) is double-teamed by the LittleRedElf and the winner, 95corolla with (TT).

87 min: Tomservo2 (7th) sees his (AA) lose to a two-outer as LittleRedElf has (QQ) and a [Q] hit the flop! Ouch!

103 min: T3chlady (6th) has to go with (QQ) but runs into Doutge2’s (A9).
105 min: Mikeniks-Faldo’s (5th) pair of Aces loses when Bigbrimar catches his flush on the river.

2nd break;
95corolla 13460
LittleRedElf 4985
Douge2 3260
Bigbrimar 795

122 min: A SS Bigbrimar’s (4th) (67) loses to LittleRedElf’s two pair.
148 min: A SS Douge2 (3rd) goes with (KJ) but LittleRedElf has (AQ).

Heads up: LittleRedElf 17500 - 95corolla 5000

150 min: LittleRedElf 20500 - 95corolla 2000

152 min: A SS 95corolla (2nd) has to go with (Ah 9h) and LittleRedElf correctly calls with (62) and hits a [6] on the flop

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 14th NPP win!

1st – LittleRedElf
2nd – 95corolla
3rd – Douge2
4th – Bigbrimar
5th – Mikeniks-Faldo
6th – T3chlady
7th – Tomservo2
8th – ThePunk75
9th – 8thmile
10th – KingBing420
11th – Suetman123
12th – Absea98
13th – Wingsfancurt
14th – Derf-63
15th – Sanster89

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Community Card Review - Our Nation is Getting Fluked - Literally Raped - and it is Not Pretty!

This is how it works, and most Americans are too stupid to see it - especially women voters who are more emotionally manipulated. Many women fall for the cheap magician’s trick being played on them by the Democrat Party. Or if they are already a Democrat, don’t want to see it….or like it.

George Stephanopolous, a Democrat Party hack that masquerades as an ABC (Already Big Communists) News journalist, was moderating a Republican Candidate presidential debate. And out of the blue, he asked Mitt Romney what he thought about the possibility of states banning contraception.

Romney of course had no clue why this was brought up. And neither did anyone else.

The next day, the entire media started the chant that Republicans want to deny women birth control.

Then, on cue, Barack Obama issued an edict (unconstitutional to do) that churches must pay for free contraception and abortions at their hospitals and schools (also unconstitutional).

As the churches revolted (verbally and politically), Obama ‘relented’ and changed the edict (unconstitutional – again) to making health care providers pay for it (unconstitutional again). The Republicans claimed ‘victory’, and that gave the media more fodder that Republicans hate women, and want to deny them birth control.

Which of course is not the case at all, but now that is the chant.

Meanwhile, the unconstitutional edict stood – not voted on by Congress – the constitutional way laws are supposed to be voted on. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT JUST HAPPENED? And it was not the first time either that this dictatorship has ignored our Constitution out in the open without being called on it by Congress.

Now the media has everyone off the economy, the gas prices, the collapsed housing market, the falling dollar, the billions in debt and bailouts to Democrat contributors, and focused on birth control.

Meanwhile, the Dictator in the White House is getting edicts placed into law.

Nancy Pelosi set up a press conference that looked like a Congressional Hearing, which Botox Nancy no longer has the power to call. No matter. The media dressed it up and covered it like it was one. A professional student and activist - Sandra Fluke - was presented as a struggling coed speaking on the behalf of all women.

She testified that her and her fellow coeds are having SO MUCH SEX at Georgetown University, that the cost of contraception is causing them to go broke. Fluke claims she spends $3000 on birth control and cannot afford it. Hence, someone MUST provide this coverage for her. Fluke wants the taxpayer or the Pope to pay for the birth control so she can have sex.

Faldo wants to ‘have golf’. I need a membership, a new golf bag, some driving range tokens, new golf spikes and Lord knows, some golf lessons. Where is my fake congressional hearing, Nancy? George? You two plan on speaking out for Faldo?

Or did polls show that Obama was losing the women vote and that abortion rights no longer poll well. So Democrats, with the help of the main stream media, moved it to birth control and blamed the Republicans for hating women?

And at the same time, Congress allows direct laws to be issued from the Dictator in Chief, without a peep from anyone in Congress – Democrat or Republican.

Democrats are traitors. Republicans are complicit (for those of you in Ann Arbor, this means ‘they are helping’).

Americans better prepare for servitude (for those of you in Ann Arbor, this means ‘being a slave’)…. or war.

Sometimes Improving a Country is Really...Just This Simple!

Pre01 Wins His 2nd NPP Tourney and Takes the 1st Quarter Lead!

Kendra likes NPP League leaders!

The league this 1st quarter has been the story of two players on fire and a bunch of players just hanging around, trying to stay close. This thing is not over and THAT is what makes this league so much fun!

We welcome a new player; Sanster89, who was warned about us by Derf-63, but he joined anyway! Welcome Sanster89.

On to the action:

20 min: ThePunk75 (18th) loses to Derf-63’s pair of tens.
30 min: Cpadanj (17th) has (66) and runs into Absea98’s (AA).
45 min: Sanster89 (16th) has a pair of Two’s and is out-kicked by Theedouble*d’s pair of Twos! Sanster89 gets the standard NPP introduction. Treated rudely at the table.

48 min: Douge2 (15th) is blinded out.
54 min: 95corolla (14th) I missed it playing my hand.

1st break:
Theedouble*d 4875
K9isadog 4735
Derf-63 2348
Suetman123 2210
T3chlady 1915
Absea98 1820
Lump2 1785
Tomservo2 1749
LittleRedElf 1526
KingBing420 1307
Pre01 1240
8thmile 1070
Mikeniks-Faldo 420

64 min: A short-stacked (SS) Mikeniks-Faldo (13th) has to go with (KT) and hits a [K] on the flop, but there is also a [6], and Derf-63 has (66). That about sums up my cards tonight.

71 min: 8thmile (12th) sees his (QQ) run into Theedouble*d’s (KK). Ouch!
73 min: Tomservo2 (11th) gets double teamed by LittleRedElf and Suetman123, and Sue wins it with a pair of Queens.

75 min: LittleRedElf (10th). I did not see it as the table closed too fast.
78 min: Theedouble*d does a rare double kill as his straight takes out KingBing420’s (9th) (TT) and K9isadog (8th) (TT).

101 min: Absea98 (7th) has to go with two pair, but Derf-63 has trips.
107 min: A SS T3chlady (6th) has to go with (Qd Td) but is beaten by Lump2’s (A9).
120 min: Theedouble*d’s (5th) two pair loses to Deff-63’s trips.

2nd break;
Suetman123 9593
Lump2 7509
Pre01 5327
Derf-63 4571

125 min: Derf-63’s (4th) (Ad 6d) loses to Pre01’s (99).
126 min: Lump2 (3rd) loses to Pre01’s Aces.

Heads up: Pre01 18000 - Suetman123 9000

130 min: Pre01 16900 - Suetman123 10100
135 min: Pre01 19400 - Suetman123 7600
140 min: Pre01 23500 - Suetman123 2500

142 min: A SS Suetman123 (2nd) has to go when she pairs her [7] on the flop. But Pre01 paired his [T].

Congratulations to Pre01 on his 2nd NPP win!

1st – Pre01
2nd – Suetman123
3rd – Lump2
4th – Derf-63
5th – Theedouble*d
6th – T3chlady
7th – Absea98
8th – K9isadog
9th – KingBing420
10th – LittleRedElf
11th – Tomservo2
12th – 8thmile
13th – Mikeniks-Faldo
14th – 95corolla
15th – Douge2
16th – Sanster89
17th – Cpadanj
18th - ThePunk75

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Faldo's Internet Record in February Not So Much

Ashley was unimpressed with Faldo to say the least.

Only 2 final tables reached with a 2nd and a 4th. I guess 2 FT's in only 36 tournaments is not too shabby. And they were high finishes instead of the usual 9th or 10th Faldo is famous for. The number of players in the tournaments I made the final tables on were around 250 players each.

It was the SNG performance in February that leaves Faldo wondering what is going on?

Although Faldo cashed at a nice rate [14 of 30], there was only ONE win in February! Not good. Even by pure luck, you would think there would be 3 wins out of 15 top threes.

Before hitting the proverbial panic button, let's see what March brings. Maybe the wins will come. I'm due.

But as the old saying goes, "Nothing is due.....but the rent."

Douge2’s Humor Corner – in Honor of the Golf Show this Weekend

Dead Parrot

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. "
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."

SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit."


Golf Quotes from Bigbrimar

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them
~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par..
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis

Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H G Wells
[This is a lie or Bigbrimar would be on the Tour!]

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino

K9isadog Wins His 10th NPP Tourney!

And it was as easy for him as playing football with Faldo’s caddie applicants.

K9 is now within striking distance of our fearless leader, ThePunk75!

K9 had to face down LittleRedElf and Faldo when it got down to 3-handed. He handled it easily.

Attendance was at the same time great – 16 players …..but puzzling.

While happy to see Bblbtt, Douge2, and Theedouble*d return to the NPP felt, it was disappointing to be missing Suetman123, Tomservo2, Tommydoo and Eyekall.

Oh well. You can’t always make every round. But a 20 player tourney was within reach.

On to the action:

2 min: Cpadanj (16th) has two pair and runs into Pre01’s trip Kings.
29 min: A short-stacked (SS) Absea98 (15th) has to go with (A9) and Theedouble*d has (65) and hits a [5 and 6] on the board.

31 min: A SS Douge2 (14th) goes with (AQ), but Mikeniks-Faldo has (KK).
35 min: A short-stacked (SS) ThePunk75 (13th) sees his (KT) get out-pipped by K9isadog’s (KJ).

36 min: A SS Bblbtt (12th) loses to LittleRedElf’s (AK).
40 min: Derf-63” (11th) pair of queens get run down by T3chlady’s trip Fives.
42 min: 95corolla (10th). I did not see it as the table closed too fast.

1st break:
T3chlady 5155
K9isadog 3745
Theedouble*d 3460
LittleRedElf 3221
Lump2 2400
Pre01 2310
KingBing420 1968
Mikeniks-Faldo 1601
8thmile 140

63 min: KingBing420’s (9th) (AQ) runs into Lump2’s (AK).
65 min: A rare triple all-in with a SS 8thmile’s (8th) (A4), Pre01’s (AJ) and Mikeniks-Faldo’s winning (KK).

68 min: Another triple all-in!! A SS Theedouble*d (7th) has to go with (53), Lump2 raises with (Ad Kd) and K9isadog calls with (Ac 6c) with a flop with 2 clubs in it. K9 makes the flush to knock out DD and cripple Lump2.

69 min: A SS Lump2 (6th) is beaten by T3chlady’s (QQ).
78 min: In a battle of the SS’s Pre01’s (5th) (87) loses to LittleRedElf’s (A4).
99 min: T3chlady’s (4th) loses to K9isadog’s straight.

Great! Faldo is trapped between two Player of the Year award winners and a pair that have TWENTY-TWO NPP victories between them. Add my NPP wins, and you get to ……23.

104 min: A SS LittleRedElf (3rd) has to go with (A2) and K9isadog calls with (KQ) and hits a [K] on the turn.

Heads up: Mikeniks-Faldo 10300 - K9isadog 13700

110 min: Mikeniks-Faldo 7000 - K9isadog 17000
This is exactly the same total that I had against Pre01 last week. Scary.

115 min: Mikeniks-Faldo 11000 - K9isadog 13000
Back to the drawing board.

2nd break: Mikeniks-Faldo 10150 - K9isadog 13850

123 min: Mikeniks-Faldo falls victim to the dreaded smaller straight versus bigger straight at this point! At least I didn’t lose all my chips.

124 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (2nd) has to go with (A2) and is called by K9isadog with (88). No help on the flop. A straight draw an over card, and an added four-card flush draw on the turn. But no cigar.

Congratulations to K9isadog on his 10th NPP win, and moves past Nahanni74 on the Walk of Fame!

1st – K9isadog
2nd – Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd – LittleRedElf
4th – T3chlady
5th – Pre01
6th – Lump2
7th – Theedouble*d
8th – 8thmile
9th – KingBing420
10th – 95corolla
11th – Derf-63
12th – Bblbtt
13th – ThePunk75
14th – Douge2
15th – Absea98
16th – Cpadanj

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Faldo Tourneys and NL Ring Games at MPP

Matchy’s Poker Palace does it up again! And Lauren Pope stopped by to watch the action.

We had six for the tournament and seven for the cash game after.

Beerhog won the tourney with Bob taking second. Faldo finished a distant 4th.

The big cash game winners were Jeremy and Beerhog.

Faldo’s last visit had a full table of ten, and the game Faldo missed in between this one and the last one also had ten players.

Great job Matchy! As Faldo knows all too well it is difficult to keep these things rolling sometimes.

By the way, anyone who would like to hook up an invite to MPP, let Faldo know. I will get you Matchy’s contact information to you. He has a nice group of players in his stable now, and the games are a lot of fun!

Faldo is looking into selecting a date for an NPP visit to a charity room for a tourney and/or cash game. Faldo’s free time schedule has been made a little busier with the re-involvement in chess.

But poker still commands the most time and effort (and money). Faldo will be researching the March tournament schedule.

Faldo on Middle Tournament Strategy

Gina Carano likes all of Faldo's 'strategies'.

This is an under-studied area of the game in tournaments, even though it is the stage where the majority of the players bust out.

First step would be the define the “middle stage”. It is when 30% to 50% of the players have busted out, depending on the size of the tournament. A big tourney, use the 50% mark and adjust accordingly to know when to start using these strategies.

First, open your starting hand selection [Faldo visibly cringes when he hears this!]. Get aggressive pre-flop with smaller pairs and bigger suited connectors.

Second, fast-play your big hands. Smaller stacks will be in panic mode and will have to call with lesser hands. And if you have opened up as in step #1, your opponents will assume you are still speeding.

Third, steal blinds. Since the blinds are rising, stealing them will keep you afloat until the poker gods decide to smile on you.

Fourth, defend your blinds more. This does not mean calling. Re-raise with anything decent. If your opponent is applying strategy #3 and you re-raise from the blinds, he has to worry you have a real hand.

And lastly, continuation bet more often. Bet around half the pot post-flop whether you have a hand or not. You only have to win half the time to show a profit. At this stage of the tournament, any profit is critical. But try to focus on WEAK-TIGHT players (like Faldo) and that will increase your odds of taking the pot down without a showdown.

The middle stage is the time to “play poker” and not just the cards or the card odds.

Pre01 Wins His 1st NPP Tournament!

It floored Faldo too, young lady!

Fantastic job by Pre01, who moves into 2nd place overall, and can see ThePunk75 in the horizon at least. Most importantly - Pre01 is on the Walk of Fame now!!!!!

He had to dodge not only the talent laden field that is NPP Poker, but he dodged the River Monster that seemed to swallow stacks whole. Lots of river beats tonight.

FYI on the 1st quarter action: ThePunk75 has a very comfortable lead, but with 6 tournaments played and still 6 left, and – on average – 5 points awarded for a win, the lead is not safe. Two more wins by anyone, and they are right back in it. Even a new player!

In theory, eleven players could take the lead with two wins.

Faldo will keep an eye on the points and if it ThePunk75 does continue to pull away, the Tournament Committee will meet, and after the “poles” on the stage close, we will vote on what to do.

Like Democrats, we vote even after the polls close. Of course Democrats vote even more before they open - especially the dead ones.

The TC will try and save some tourneys to add to the next quarter, so every round counts. But it is too early to even have that meeting yet. I think the majority agrees.

On to the action:

12 min: Cpadanj (16th) pair of kings runs into Tommydoo’s trip fours. This starts a pattern.

13 min: Lump2 (15th) runs into Tommydoo’s trip jacks.
17 min: T3chlady (14th) trip tens runs into Tommydoo’s flush on the river. See what I mean?

25 min: A short-stacked (SS) K9isadog (13th) sees his pair get out-kicked by Eyekall.
34 min: Eyekall (12th) sees his (KK) lose to Suetman123’s (As Js) with an [A] on the flop.

40 min: A SS KingBing420 (11th) sees her pair of queens get run down by Tommydoo’s with a flush on the river.

43 min: Tomservo2 (10th). I did not see it, watching an all in survivor on my table.
50 min: Derf-63’s (9th) (TT) runs into 95corolla’s (AA)
60 min: The break monster let Faldo live!!!! My (KK) holds on against 8thmile’s (QQ).
Don’t laugh. Two-outters hit at the break WAY too often.

1st break:
Tommydoo 3905
ThePunk75 3637
Suetman123 3552
Mikeniks-Faldo 3400
8thmile 3100
Absea98 2596
95corolla 2365
Pre01 1445

72 min: A SS Tommydoo (8th) has a pair of threes, but 8thmile hits his flush.
78 min: Absea98 (7th) has trips but runs into Mikeniks-Faldo’s full house.
86 min: A SS ThePunk75 (6th) tries with (AT) but 8thmile has (AK).
98 min: A SS 95corolla (5th) has to go with (A8), but Suetman123 with (A2) hits the baby straight.

101 min: A SS Suetman123 (4th) has to try with (A6) but Mikeniks-Faldo has (AJ). Now we settle in for a battle.

2nd break:
Mikeniks-Faldo 14578
Pre01 6120
8thmile 3302

Faldo had his hands but either got no action or lost as the favorite for the next half hour. Then the deck totally shut down on Faldo. Oh, well. That’s poker.

I was primarily feeding 8thmile, and he was feeding Pre01 – who did not return the chips to Faldo. What’s up with that?

150 min: A SS 8thmile (3rd) has to goes with a pair of deuces on the flop, but Pre01 has (KT) and hits a [K] on the river.

Heads up: Mikeniks-Faldo 7000 - Pre01 17000

155 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (2nd) has to go with (8s 7s) and is called by Pre01 with (AT). There is an [8] on the flop, but so is an [A].

Congratulations to Pre01 on his 1st NPP win!

1st – Pre01
2nd – Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd – 8thmile
4th – Suetman123
5th – 95corolla
6th – ThePunk75
7th – Absea98
8th – Tommydoo
9th – Derf-63
10th – Tomservo2
11th – KingBing420
12th – Eyekall
13th – K9isadog
14th – T3chlady
15th – Lump2
16th – Cpadanj

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Faldo Finishes Second in a Rise Poker Tourney - again

I said SECOND - not Fourth!

Two hundred and seventy six players entered and Faldo took second!

The key hand was with 18 players left, Faldo correctly guessed that a nearly equal in chips, middle of the pack player did not have the flush that hit the river.

[Td Ad Tc 4h 3d] was the board. Faldo held (Ah 9h). Faldo called the all-n and busted the Villain with (As 7h). The nine played and Faldo was now in the top 4 in chips.

Btu some loses with a smaller flush, JJ, and a few failed attempts to eliminate some short stacks, Faldo fell back a little. But Villian #2 went on a heater and took four players out, leaving Faldo heads up, but short-stacked.

Faldo got eliminated after battling back heads up to near even.

A flop of [T39] gave Faldo top pair with (Tc 8c). Faldo made a pot size bet and was called. When a [7] hit the turn, Faldo moved all in and was called by Villain #2 with (K3).

A [K] of course hit the river.

But a 2nd place finish still was a confidence builder!

Woodworking Made Simple!

Wow! I have trouble sawing logs!

Happy Valentine's Day to All the NPP Lovely and Talented Ladies

Since there is no NPP Tournament Game due to death threats Faldo received should he have scheduled one tonight - Faldo plans on just relaxing and watching some UFC fight re-runs I've already seen 100 times. Oh well, its something to do instead of poker.

But I can't stretch out and get comfortable if she is going to lay on the bed that way!

Can't she see the buttered popcorn bowl, the three cans remaining 6-pack and my "UFC Rocks" t-shirt??? Do I have to spell it out?

Some people just don't get subtle hints.

Michigan Governor Rick Snyder - Typical RINO Government Worker

In an interview with RINO (Republican In Name Only) Governor Rick Snyder of the Socialist Republic of Michigan – a state in the 3-year old Communist States of America – explains why the wonderful reforms taking place in other states by new real Republican governors suck.

Yes, the RINO Republican governor of one of the most run down, jobless, most underwater home and highest taxed state in the new CSA, explains to an AP (All-democrat Propaganda) reporter why the Republican governors that are returning their states to solvency have it all wrong.

“Policies in Wisconsin, Ohio, New Jersey and Indiana resulting in union protests are unfortunate. Contentious anti union legislation means that those states will have to overcome divisiveness and hard feelings in the future. My approach is to build consensus. Opposing parties should find areas of agreement and work on those, rather than pursue divisive legislation.”

The success in Wisconsin, Ohio, New Jersey and Indiana - obtained by BEATING state employee unions - seems to be lost on Michigan Governor Wussie Snyder.

Republican governors in other states are bravely dismantling decades of liberal policies, political cronyism, union featherbedding and theft, that have crippled their state’s economies, and held their budgets hostage.

In spite of outlandish and unchallenged unlawful protests and recall drives - funded by the unions - and with Democrat law makers fleeing the state to keep from having to do their jobs and take their losses like grown-ups, these brave Republican governors are winning, and making their states solvent even during the Obama Depression.

They are winning because they are doing the right thing. And the voters in those states are starting to realize just how badly they were robbed during the reign of the Democrats and how mismanaged public funds were.

True leadership is about courage to do the right thing in spite of criticism, not ‘consensus.” Consensus is the absence of leadership right out of the Obama Book of Management.

Do you ever hear Democrats talk about consensus when they win elections and have control of the congress and top spot in state or federal government? Of course not. They even ignore the laws they don’t like with impunity and appoint “top cops” that announce proudly that they will not arrest their ‘own people.”

Democrats only whine for “consensus” when liberalism is getting it’s ass kicked and being proved to be a loser and a freedom stealer.

All is quiet from the communist-mafia-thug ranks of the Michigan based unions. That is a warning bell my fellow patriots.

That is all you tax paying members of the Socialist Republic of Michigan need to know to realize that Governor Snyder is not doing his job worth a shit.

He is Jenny Granholm-Kilpatrick without nice legs - and without the wart on his face. But for the unions in the state of Michigan, he is bent over the governor desk in the same position Jenny always was.

Mike's Cigars Has a Blog - Now on the NPP Blog Roll

Although I can still enjoy a cigar at the Leaf, Barley and Vine cigar bar on occasion, it is time to start thinking SPRING!

Time to start thinking of filling that humidor you had Faldo design for you for free (you didn't do that yet? Wow.....missing out), so you will be ready for the golf links in style.

So, I am adding this site to the blogroll at NPP for your reading and cigar smoking enjoyment.

And you can fill that humidor inexpensively at Mike's Cigars. Their website works great.

Their #1 competitor as far as I'm concerned - who shall go nameless so I will just use their initials; is JR Cigars.

Anyway, their website and email club doesn't seen to work very well. Great site, good prices, but poor customer service on line. If you call them direct, no problem. Actually outstanding. But on line is spotty and their email system doesn't seem to work well.

I've signed up three times for "email specials" and called them about not getting them four times. Still no emails. What's up with that?

They are treating me like every woman in every bar....ignoring Faldo.

But the #1 reason Mike's Cigars is...well #1 in my book, is not the name. It is the place where you can find all the sizes of Licenciados Cigars all the time! As Beerhog and I say, if you can only have one cigar - this is it!

Check out this blog and enjoy!

We all Do it #1

We can't help it. It's in our jeans to do it.

ThePunk75 Wins Again! Takes Control of the 1st Quarter Lead

It’s been a walk on the beach for ThePunk75!

ThePunk’s performance moves into 7Jokers-LittleRedElf-K9isadog-Doneill-Hlam’s rare-ified air! Two wins in a row and a victory in three of the last four! Well done Punk!

The other eighteen players either had bad luck or some bad karma. Your host just played badly. But the NPP family has to be happy with the turnout. It is a nice, solid night of poker.

Come on and join us in two weeks! We are taking February 14th off for obvious reasons.

This quarter, it may take a miracle to catch ThePunk75, but there are seven tournaments still left.

On to the action:

11 min: Tommydoo (19th) lost a coin flip with (KQ) to K9isadog’s (JJ).
13 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (18th) decides Cpadanj is bluffing, but he wasn’t.
24 min: KingBing420 (17th) gets a bad beat put on her by Cpadanj. Looks like his night so far.

27 min: A short-stacked (SS) Lump2 (16th) goes with (KJ) and runs into LittleRedElf’s (A3).

42 min: Pre01 (15th) Missed it. Had to turn my attention elsewhere for a few minutes.
35 min: Brucef1040 (14th) Same reason.
37 min: LittleRedElf (13th) sees his two pair get run down by Absea’s trips.
39 min: A short-stacked (SS) Theedouble*d (12th) (14th) sees his pair of Fives lose to Tomservo2’s pair of Aces.

41 min: Derf-63 (11th) gets his two pair bested by 8thmile’s trips and is out the next hand.
47 min: Eyekall (10th) hits his flush on the flop but 8thmile catches a higher flush on the turn.
50 min: A SS Cpadanj (9th) tries with (KJ) but is double-teamed by Douge2 and K9isadog, who wins with a pair of Fives.

1st break:
ThePunk75 7344
K9isadog 7252
T3chlady 5281
8thmile 3060
Douge2 1682
Tomservo2 1678
Absea98 1675
Suetman123 528

66 min: Douge2 (8th) has a pair of Queens, but ThePunk75 has trip Threes.
68 min: A SS Suetman123 (7th) has to go with (KJ) but runs into K9isadog’s (A5).

To this point, everyone has been playing like they had somewhere better to be (including your host), but now the final six settle in to do battle.

88 min: A SS Tomservo2 (6th) tries with (6h 5h) and a flop of [5A9], but ThePunk75 has (A6).

91 min: A SS Absea98 (5th) has to go with (AT), and K9isadog calls with (Ad 4d) and hits a [4] on the turn.

108 min: A SS K9isadog (4th) has to try with a flush draw but it doesn’t hit and ThePunk75 pairs his Queens.

111 min: T3chlady (3rd) goes with (66) but ThePunk75 has (JJ).

Heads up: 8thmile 2800 - ThePunk75 25700

114 min: 8thmile (2nd) hits two pair, but ThePunk75 hits a flush!

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 13th NPP win!

1st – ThePunk75
2nd – 8thmile
3rd – T3chlady
4th – K9isadog
5th – Absea98
6th – Tomservo2
7th – Suetman123
8th – Douge2
9th – Cpadanj
10th – Eyekall
11th – Derf-63
12th – Theedouble*d
13th – LittleRedElf
14th – Brucef1040
15th – Pre01
16th – Lump2
17th - KingBing420
18th – Mikeniks-Faldo
19th - Tommydoo

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Douge2's Humor Corner - Super Bowl Sunday Edition

There is Always One Big Mouth!

A woman went into a pet shop and spotted a large, quite beautiful
parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so
little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution, and sometimes it
says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought awhile, but decided she'd take the bird anyway. She
took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited

for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her,

and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was surprised at the
implication, but then thought for a Cathouse Parrot "that's really not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and
said, "New madam, new girls." The woman was a bit offended but then
began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the
parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Steve came home from work. The bird
looked at him and said, "Hi, Steve."


A Man’s Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess Will you marry me?

The Princess said NO and the Prince lived happily ever after;

riding motorcycles and dating gorgeous broads half his age,
and he hunted,
played golf,
bought a boat and fished any weekend he wanted,
raced cars,
went to topless bars,
drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan,
never heard bitching,
never paid child support or alimony,
kept his house,
and guns,
and never got cheated on while he was at work,
and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell,
and he had tons of money in the bank,
and could always leave the toilet seat up.
The end

Faldo's Internet Record in January

This "Find Faldo's ball mark" training of possible Faldo caddies is exhausting Faldo.

But on to the internet tournament circuit results for January 2012: 28 tourneys, no wins, but 4 final tables; 9th, 6th, 5th and 3rd.

Sit n Go results were bleak compared to the last few months, but for some reason January seems to be a bad SNG month for Faldo historically. Wonder why? Maybe no reason. Maybe all this "caddie training."

I guess I could blame the lack of cashes on my recovery from the hospital stay, but my 1st place wins were up there. Maybe I was just "going for the gold" more often.

26 SNG's played with 5 wins, and 6 cashes (2nd's and 3rd's).

That is a 42.3% cash rate (goal = 45%), but a 19.2% win rate (goal = 15%).

My total January performance is a 36.1% cash rate, so I guess that is an improvement overall. Just not compared to the last few months. Total win rate in January stands at 12.2%, which is awful, even with this last January added in.

A superstar's goals are 20% win and 50% cashes in SNG's.

That is why Faldo shoots for 15 - 45.

Partagas Cigars – A Taste of Cuba!

The Partagas brand name has always represented some of the finest cigars ever made. Ramon Cifuentes and Benjamin Menendez the conocedores.

The Cifuenteses ran the Partagas Havana factory for over 100 years – until the Obama Communist Revo…….sorry, the Castro Communist Revolution.

After, Cifuentes brought his expertise to the Dominican Republic, and along with Ben (who created the Montecristo brand!) restarted the brand. This united two former competitors to create a new “super-brand.”

Partagas are exceptionally well made – reputation has it, and is definitely a top 5 selling brand. Some say it is as high as #2. Why quibble.

Faldo has not tried this brand yet. It is on my cigar bucket list however.

Although a medium strength cigar, it is said to be on the smooth and slightly sweet side.

Sounds like a “back nine” cigar worth taking a look at.

The standard Partagas (medium) comes in all the familiar sizes and shapes. Other Partagas styles are;
Black Label – (full bodied)
Cifuentes Winter Blend – (medium)
Limited Reserve Decadas – (full bodied)
Series S – (med – strong)
Spanish Rosado – (med-strong)