Friday, June 26, 2009

Dealing With the Downs in Poker

Oh, I’ve had them. One of my down periods in poker, lasted two full years.

Call it running cold, losing your edge, losing your game, tilting, getting unlucky. If you play poker long enough, you will hit this wall at some point. Sometimes, all of the above hit you all at once.

But it is what you do when you are running badly, that really defines you as a poker player. Anyone can play good poker when the deck hits you in the face. Even your poorly timed bluffs work when you are running ‘hot’. But, the money you save when you can’t catch a break is truly what separates the good poker players from the average one.

Do you panic?
Do you chase action?
Do you ‘move up’ in stakes to recoup losses quickly?
Do you maintain your card discipline or do you expect ‘luck’ to even out and plunge in more often in marginal situations to catch that good luck ‘rush’ you are due?
Do you risk what’s left of your poker bankroll to ‘get even’ fast?

When the cards are not kind, it is easy to fall into this trap. You doubt your game skill, your mental abilities, your concentration level and even your karma in the universe.

The first thing you have to do is RECOGNIZE you are on a cooler. Something has changed. It might just be the cards and luck. But it might be something else. Things like;

• You play has actually developed some leak (you stopped doing something or started doing something that is hurting you)
• Your play has become to readable
• Your table selection has become looser
• Your competition (whether you moved up in stakes or not) have improved
• You are not at 100% for whatever reason

After you recognize you are a little tailspin – take a break and re-evaluate. Maybe you just have a little poker ‘burnout’, and stopped working hard at the game. Maybe you have gone on auto-pilot – at a slight downward setting.

Read a poker book, read some poker blogs, rent some poker (porn) movies and rest a while.

When you no longer need to play or are just killing time playing – and instead truly WANT to play – things should improve. There is no guarantee mind you (see the second sentence of this article), but almost always your game, and “normal luck” returns.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Douge2’s Humor Corner X

The Ultimate Trick
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, 'Look, it's not the same hat!' or, 'Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!' 'Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?'

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ....with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days ... and then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

“OK, I give up. Where's the freakin' ship?”

The Secret
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said "Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Jewish rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, “I want 5 loaves.”
She said, "My goodness, 5 the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard"

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me."

Holding on Too Long
Into a Belfast pub comes LittleRedElf, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says LRE.

"That little guy, O'Conner?" says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says LRE, "A shovel is what he had, and a terrible beating he gave me with it."

"W ell," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"

“That I did," said LRE.

"Mrs. O'Conner's breast…and a thing of beauty it is, but useless in a fight."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

TresStooges Wins Round One of the 3rd Quarter

We are off and running with the new quarter. The man who chased all last quarter - just to get barely nosed out - has the lead out of the gate now.

TresStooges won this sixteen player event in fine style. It was a yo-yo night for almost all of the players. Everyone’s stacks went up and down all night long. Very heavy chip movement and many twists and turns. Exciting if nothing else.

No new players(disappointment to Faldo), but Beerhog returned tonight, which was good to see.

On to the action:

27 min: Because of the yo-yo effect, no one left early because of making comebacks. It took a standard PokerStars cold deck to start the exits.

Kensik (16th) goes AIPF with (88), and sees TresStooges (QQ) and Nixi44 (JJ) also move in. A flop of [895] gives Ken the lead, but a cruel lady [Q] on the turn does him in. It also starts the roller-coaster ride for Nixi.

28 min: A short-stacked (SS) Tomservo2 (15th) moves AIPF with (AK), but four players call it and Tom is beaten by Beerhog’s (Ad 8d) with an [8] on the river.

44 min: A SS Gotbug (14th) moves AIPF with (A3) but Sirgash (KQ) hits his [K] on the flop.

48 min: Sirgash (13th) meets a similar fate right after has his AIPF with (QQ) is called by Douge2 with (AK) and an [A] hits the flop.

58 min: Akensi’s (12th) (JJ) lost to Derf-63’s (Ah3h) with an [A] on the flop.
59 min: Nixi44’s (11th) Cedar Point ride came to an end as she moves her SS AIPF with (Ad Td) but can’t catch Derf-63’s (As Qs).

1st Break:
Douge2 5565
TresStooges 4920
Beerhog 3502
Derf-63 2345
Tigercub8189 2010
ThePunk75 1670
Funtoon 1258
Mikeniks-Faldo 1040
K9isadog 930
LittleRedElf 760

63 min: K9isadog (10th) with (KQ) and two pair runs into Tigercub8189’s quad 3’s!

69 min: A short-stacked LittleRedElf (9th) moves AIPF with (66) and is two-timed by Tigercub8189 and Beerhog. It is the Hog that has his (AK) make two pair.

73 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo and SS Derf-63(8th) get mixed up in this one. Faldo raises with (Jc Td) {42%} and Derf-63 {58%} calls with (Qc 9s). The flop is [2c 8d 7d].

Faldo overbet semi-bluffs with overcards to the flop and a gut-shot straight draw – and of course doesn’t know he is only now {35%}. Naturally Derf has to call {65%}. Faldo hits a [T] on the river to take it down.

A 2 to 1 odds smack down of Derf by Faldo, but when you are short-stacked, you got to take some extra risks.

78 min: A SS Funtoon (7th) doesn’t get lucky as his (9d 4d) loses to Tigercub8189’s (KQ).

81 min: Tigercub8189 is on the upslope of his chip stack roller coaster as his (Kc Jc) flushes to take out ThePunk75 (6th) who goes AIPF with (33).

98 min: The flop comes down [AAJ]. Douge2 (5th) (66) doesn’t believe Beerhog has an (A). He did. Ouch, and Doug is out the next hand.

103 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo AIPF (4th) with (AcKc) {68%} and is called by Beerhog with (Qc 8c) {32%}. Now I get to lose as the 2 to 1 favorite as an [8] hits the flop.

Seventeen minutes and the yo-yo continued to operate on the three survivors.

2nd break:
Tigercub8189 10627
Beerhog 8408
TresStooges 4965

130 min: Another ten minutes goes by. Will you guys hold still!
Beerhog 14500
TresStooges 6400
Tigercub8189 3100

140 min: Another ten minutes goes by. Still moving around.
Beerhog 9700
Tigercub8189 8000
TresStooges 6000

148 min: Tigercub8189 (3rd) gets off the roller coaster as his (Qs 9s) runs into Beerhog’s (AA).

Heads up: Beerhog 16000 - TresStooges 8000

150 min: Beerhog 14000 - TresStooges 10000

152 min: Beerhog (2nd) goes AIPF with (As Qs) {34%} and TresStooges has (QQ) {64%}.

The flop has an [A]. Beerhog {91%} – TresStooges {9%}.
But the turn is a [Q]. Beerhog {5%} – TresStooges {95%}.
Told you – roller coaster all night. But the ride ended here.

Congratulations TresStooges on his 2nd NPP win!

PS: Beerhog has played in exactly two NPP tourneys this year and has a 1st and a 2nd. Just a hint as to why Beerhog is 3rd all-time in NPP wins.

1st – TresStooges
2nd – Beerhog
3rd – Tigercub8189
4th – Mikeniks-Faldo
5th – Douge2
6th – ThePunk75
7th – Funtoon
8th – Derf-63
9th – LittleRedElf

Standings on the right side of the blog.
PSS: Everyone’s recruiting efforts stunk! Hint! Hint!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Faldo Running Steps to the WSOP – Now at Step 6 of 10

Finished 2nd by only 400 chips in step 5.

That is a 1st, 2nd, 2nd, 1st, 1st, 2nd streak!

The competition much tougher on a Monday morning than a Friday night.

Ya think?

I am half way there to a seat in the main event.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Faldo Running Steps to the WSOP – Now at Step 5 of 10

Won step 4.
That is a 1st, 2nd, 2nd, 1st, 1st streak!
One more and I am half way there.

Is it too early to start thinking about selling the seat I win or taking the shot?
Yes, too early. Way too early.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Faldo Running the Steps to the WSOP

This will be the greatest poker feat in the history of the world!!!!!!!
Well, maybe not, but I will be thrilled anyway.

I joined a 180 – player satellite for exactly one (1) Frequent Player Point for a seat in a Step 1 SNG. This step would be the first rung in the ladder to win a WSOP Main Event seat.

The poker site I am playing on will be anonymous since I have so much nub for PokerStars. But it is my amazing Absolute Poker luck has got me to Step 4!

That would be a 2nd, 1st, 1st and 2nd - in four straight tourneys to get me to Step 4.

I think it is a 10 or 12 step process (maybe 14). I am not sure because I am taking this adventure ……yes, I will say it……ONE STEP AT A TIME!

Think about it however. Getting a seat in the main event of the WSOP for 1 FPP!

One small leap for Faldo, one giant step for NPP!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Luck Must Be a Lady – She is Taking All My Money - II

We were discussing the luck factor in poker. Let’s look at some more quotes on the subject.

[Pro Luck] “Amateurs overemphasize luck and pros overemphasize skill. It takes both to win.” – Tex Sheahan
[Con Luck] “I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson

Founding Father/president Thomas Jefferson never saw me bubble in five tournaments on three computer screens almost simultaneously.

[Pro Luck] “Lucky is winning in spite of all the reasons you shouldn’t.” – L. P. Roach
[Con Luck] “Successful people are lucky. Just ask any failure.” – Michael Levine

Roach nailed our last presidential primaries.

[Pro Luck] “How much of winning a tournament is luck? I think the most reasonable mathematical definition would result in an estimate of 75% luck and 25% skill.” – Chris Ferguson
[Con Luck] “I find I am luckier when I work harder.” – Dr. Denton Cooley

Practice, study and work will make sure you at least get close to Ferguson’s 25% mark.

[Pro Luck] “Tournament winners combine extremely good judgment with some lucky breaks. The trick is to survive long enough to put yourself in the position to get lucky.” – Tom McEvoy
[Con Luck] “It is hard to detect good luck. It looks so much like something you earned.” – Frank Clark

I think Tom and Frank are on the same page!

Well, after two pages of quotes by poker and non-poker players alike, Faldo is ready to make the final statement on the matter:

“Luck IS a lady. The bad one wastes your money and breaks your heart. The good one is never on time when you need her most.”

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Douge2’s Humor Corner IX

Silence is Golden

Sirgash had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.

“So,” says the cop to Sirgash, “where have you been?”
“Why, I've been to the bar of course,” slurs Sirgash.

“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.”
“Maybe a few, but not too many,” the drunk Sirgash says with a smile.

“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”

“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs Sirgash. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.”

Strong Bladder

Mrs. Tigercub is home making dinner, as usual, when TrippAA arrives at her door.

“May I come in?” he asks. “I've something to tell you”.

“Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tripp. But where's my husband?”
“That's what I'm here to tell you. There was an accident down at the brewery...”

“Oh, no!" cries Mrs. Cub. “Please don't tell me.”
“I must. Your husband is dead and gone. I'm sorry.”

Finally, she looked up at Tripp. “How did it happen?”
“It was terrible. He fell into a vat of Bud Light and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tripp. Did he at least go quickly?”

“Well no, Tripp admits, “In fact, he got out three times to pee.”

Leaving Commando

Beerhog staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds five times on the wall.

Beerhog mumbles, "No use knocking, there's no paper on this side either!"

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Theedouble*d Wins the 2nd Quarter Seat in the NPP Finals!

And he did it in come from behind style (twss)!

Theedouble*d (DD) won his second NPP tourney, and his second of the quarter, to just edge out the leader of the 2nd quarter for the entire way, TrippAA and the other two hot in pursuit, TresStooges and Absea98.

DD had to not only win the tourney this night to catch TrippAA, but he had to hope TrippAA, TresStooges or Absea98 did not finish 4th or better. Absea98 was not one of the twenty-one who made it to the felt on the last night.

That helped, but DD had to wade thru the rest of the killer NPP line up to grab the 2nd Quarter seat in the finals, and he did it.

NPP welcomes a new player – K9isadog!

On to the action:

3 min: Derf-63 (20th) is crippled when his (TT) loses to ThePunk75’s heart flush on the river. He goes out six minutes later when his (KT) loses to TresStooges (JJ).

6 min: K9isadog (21st) gets the usual NPP welcome as his raise with (Qd 8d) into a board of [Jc Qc 5d 8h] is met with a all-in (AI) re-raise by Nixi44 with (T9) and the straight.

26 min: I missed T3chlady’s (19th) exit, losing one of my many hands of the night.

37 min: Fusciardi (18th) and Tomservo2 see a flop of [5c Js 9c]. The turn of [Ks] gets the two of them to move AI as Fusciardi hit (KJ). A river is a blank as Tom has the straight (QT). Bad luck there for the Italian Poker Stallion.

43 min: More of the same for Douge2 (17th) as his flopped two pair is flush-rivered by Kaytdid, who also had top pair and was not going anywhere. This started a mini-rush to the exits.

45 min: RKidder51400 (16th) sees her (AK) lost to Tomservo2’s (TT).
46 min: Tigercub8189 (15th) AIPF with (99) is beaten by the paired Ace and flush of Theedouble*d (As Qs). Slight over-kill, but that is how DD rolls.

56 min: TrippAA (14th) is regulated to a sweater and cheerleader for most of the remaining players when his AI (AT) can’t catch Theedouble*d’s (JJ). We failed him.

1st Break:
Theedouble*d 4865
Tomservo2 3790
Nahanni74 3660
Kaytdid 3095
Kensik 3025
Gotbug 2605
ThePunk75 2461
Mikeniks-Faldo 2150
TresStooges 1767
Nixi44 1442
LittleRedElf 1400
Boother 705
Akensi 535

65 min: Akensi (13th) has to move AIPF with (Ad 4d) and is called by Gotbug and ThePunk75, and Punk’s (77) hold on.

66 min: LittleRedElf’s (12th) (33) lost to Kaytdid’s (99).

69 min: Theedouble*d defends his blind against a standard raise from Nixi44 (11th). The flop is [4K8] and Nixi incorrectly decides that DD (K6) does not have a K, and moves AI with her (JJ). Nixi correctly proclaims, “It’s DD’s night!”

76 min: Nahanni74 (10th) with (AA) moves AI after a flop of [7K8], but Gotbug had (88).

81 min: A short-stacked Kensik (9th) sees his (A8) lose to ThePunk75’s (KK).

108 min: A short-stacked Kaytdid (8th) naturally goes with (AK), but Tomservo2 (A9) hits a [9] on the turn.

111 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (7th) has to try also with (AT) but Gotbug’s (77) holds up.

112 min: A SS TresStooges (6th) goes AIPF with (Q5) when a [Q] hits the flop. But Theedouble*d is holding (KQ). DD took out both his pursuers this evening. Now to dispatch with the last four players in his way.

113 min: Theedouble*d rides the wave as his (JJ) hits a [J] on the flop against Tomservo2’s (5th) (QQ)! Ouch Tom.

113 min: ThePunk75 is AIPF (4th) with (AJ), and is called by Boother (33) and Gotbug (AJ). A full house hits the board [28882] and Boother higher pair stops the split. Wow!

I was thinking here that Boother might be the new hot player down the stretch.

2nd break:
Theedouble*d 16335
Gotbug 8436
Boother36 6729

122 min: Gotbug (3rd) got squashed as his (AsQs) could not catch Theedouble*d’s (33). All of a sudden pocket 3’s can’t lose.

Heads up: Theedouble*d 25000 - Boother36 6500

125 min: Theedouble*d 22200 - Boother36 9300

130 min: Theedouble*d 22800 - Boother36 8700

132 min: Boother36 (2nd) has to go with (A2) and an [A] on the flop, but Theedouble*d has (A7) – and with it wins the 2nd Quarter seat in the NPP finals in December!

Congratulations Theedouble*d.

1st – Theedouble*d
2nd – Boother36
3rd – Gotbug
4th – ThePunk75
5th – Tomservo2
6th – TresStooges
7th – Mikeniks-Faldo
8th – Kaytdid
9th – Kensik

Everyone, be sure to recruit and promote the tournament. New race starts next week!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

An Open Invitation to All NPP Readers

NPP League 2nd Quarter Final is this Tuesday at 8pm EST. It is a good time for potential new players to check out the blog, the league, the tourney, the chat and the talent!

As the standings on the side of the blog show, four players still have a chance to win the 2nd quarter seat in the Niks Poker Palace Final on December 15th, 2009. It is a very exciting evening at the virtual nonagon felt on PokerStars.

On the very next Tuesday, the 3rd Quarter race begins. Players who already have their seats cannot counterfeit the latter quarters, so as seats are won, those players are out of the way for the rest of the field.

In addition, here at NPP, loyalty pays. If history is any measure, probably two at – large seats in the Finals, are granted to the players with the most league points for the year that did not win a seat.

Once again quarter winners are not counted in that quest for the At Large seats, so it is wide open.

There is plenty of time to climb the points ladder and two more seats up for grabs during the rest of the year.

The NPP League is exciting, fun...and cheap! Send your PokerStars handle, at least your first name and initial and your email to npokerp at yahoo dot com and I will send you the password for this Tuesday night and the new password for the 3rd quarter.

Looking forward to hearing from new readers and past players. – Nik Faldo

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Poker Players Prop Bets II

THE BLIND BOWLER BET - The legendary Amarillo Slim used to tell a story about a man who tried to bowl blindfolded and his inability to break 100. When someone would bravely claim that they could do it, Slim would happily place a bet with the sucker, knowing that a blindfolded individual becomes incredibly disoriented.

THE BIG BOOB BET - Perhaps the strangest bet has to be the one taken on by Brian Zembic, a player noted for his skill at poker, blackjack and backgammon. In order to win $100,000, he had to get 36C breast implants and wear them for 1 year. He won the bet and then decided to keep the fake boobs attached.

THE FISTFIGHT BET - A much younger Johnny Moss once found himself in a bar next to a man who claimed to have never lost a fight. Moss’ friends offered him 15/1 odds that he couldn’t knock the man out. Ever the gambler, Moss sucker punched the man in the hopes of an easy win. It didn’t work, and Moss got several broken bones and a trip to the hospital for his trouble. Moss’ take on the whole affair? “15/1 was too good to pass up.”


THE BEARDED BET - Huck once wagered that he could go a year without shaving. The former World Series of Poker champ was doing fine until an unexpected death forced him to shave for the funeral.

THE POINT BREAK BET - Phil Hellmuth and his pal, Huck Seed, were relaxing near the ocean. Phil bet his buddy that he couldn’t stand in the ocean, up to his shoulders, for 18 hours. With $50,000 on the line, Huck simply couldn’t pass up the opportunity and waded out into the cold water. He lasted three hours.

THE GOLF BET II (Matchy mentioned the other last post) - Huck was once bet six figures that he couldn’t break 100 on a desert golf course four times in the same day using only a five iron, sand wedge and putter. His opponent also got to pick the day and predictably waited until the temperature was around 120 degrees. But that didn’t stop Huck, as he got the needed scores and collected his money.

As I have said before; in order to be a world class poker player, you have to be crazy.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Poker Players Chat Themselves Into Prop Bets

There’s nothing quite as exciting as the ‘ol proposition bet. These wagers have been popular for years in bars and on golf courses, and nobody seems to love them more than professional poker players. In fact, some of the most profitable (and most unusual) proposition bets have been thought up and carried out by these card-playing gamblers.

THE VEGAN PROPOSITION - It’s a well-known fact with the poker world that Howard Lederer is a vegetarian. So Davis Grey made him a $10,000 bet that the poker pro wouldn’t eat a cheeseburger. Lederer, without hesitation, devoured one and found himself $10,000 richer. Grey hated olives, so Lederer offered him a chance to keep his money. All he had to do was eat some of those little green items with the funky-looking pimento inside. Grey decided to pass and tossed Lederer the money.

THE WEIGHT WATCHERS BET - Venerable poker legend Doyle Brunson used to have a serious weight problem. And over the years, he’s literally lost hundreds of thousands of dollars on wagers involving his weight. But in 2003, he was offered 10/1 odds by a group of gamblers on a $100,000 bet. All he had to do to win was get below 300 pounds. Using the Atkins Diet and Weight Watchers, Brunson got below the target weight and picked up over $1 million in winnings. Insane amount of money wagered there.

A similar bet occurred between Erick Lindgren and Mike ‘The Mouth’ Matusow just before the 2005 WSOP. They wagered $20,000 on who could lose more weight. Matusow lost 17 pounds, but he still lost by two pounds when Lindgren convinced him that he couldn’t lose any more. Matusow fell for the trick and slacked off, allowing Lindgren to win by the slimmest of margins.

THE IOWA BET - John Hennigan loves the action of the big city, especially the action at the local casinos. But when a group of friends bet him six-figures that he couldn’t spend six weeks living in the sleepy city of Des Moines, Iowa, Hennigan couldn’t pass up the offer. Planning to work on his golf game, Hennigan only lasted two days before he ran screaming back to the big city. How does Herbavor do it?

The last two wagers involved having the correct read on your opponent.

THE GOLF BET - Phil Ivey is not a particularly good golfer, while Erick Lindgren is supposed to be quite talented. But ever the optimist, Ivey has bet his fellow poker player $500,000 that he can beat him in 72 holes of golf sometime in the next eight years. According to sources, Ivey has been improving as of late and is beating Lindgren from time to time.

More tomorrow.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Douge2’s Humor Corner VIII

Smart Lady

A farmer named Rennzzo stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home Rennzzo stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"

The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot."

The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Why thank you very much," Rennzzo said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

Rennzzo said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket,......and I'll hold the chickens."

Well Trained Wife

A young farm couple, BigLou and Daisy, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'!

In the morning, before BigLou left the house for the fields, they made love. When BigLou came back from the fields, they made love.

After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their “nooner.” It took BigLou a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done.

Finally, BigLou asked the town doctor what to do. "BigLou," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the fields with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Daisy's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."

They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while until one day when BigLou came back to the doctor's office.

"What's wrong?" asked the Doc. "Didn't my idea work?"

"Oh, it worked good," said BigLou. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Daisy'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home again."

"Good, BigLou.. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.

"I mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen her since huntin' season started!"

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Bigbrimar Finishes 4th in PokerStars Tourney

In a 360 person tourney, Bigbrimar almost won the thing with the chip lead with four to go.

But a over-push by Bigbri met a big hand and he went from the penthouse to the outhouse and got knocked out soon after.

A fine effort none the less and a twenty-eight time return on his investment.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Faldo Wins His 2nd NPP Tourney of the Year

The end of the quarter drawing near and the Detroit Red Wings game cut into the volume of players for tonight’s game. Add that a couple of NPP players got hurt by the eCheck issue (see previous post for article), and one was late. Twelve did make it to the hallowed NPP felt.

It was still a star studded lineup – as usual. Your scribe got a rush of cards, not only most of the night, but at the right time also. Could it be PokerStars nub for Faldo????

On to the action:

6 min: As I stated, I was getting cards early and was involved in hands from the git-go. Plus, we were chatting discussing the eCheck issues with players unable to buy chips. Oh, yes and an interruption from not one, but two beggars. So I missed the first few exits.

Douge2 (12th) told me his straight ran into a flush.

8 min: Kensik (11th) went out next and I missed it.

30 min: Nahanni (10th) is short-stacked (SS) and moves in when her (67) flops a [6]. But LittleRedElf is holding (AA).

34 min: TrippAA (9th) sees his (22) lose to TresStooges and his (KK).

1st Break:
TresStooges 4295
Boother 3580
LittleRedElf 2770
Akensi 1910
Absea98 1540
ThePunk75 1525
Mikeniks-Faldo 1440
Sirgash 940

79 min: Sirgash (8th) is SS and goes with (AJ), but ThePunk75 has (KK).

83 min: ThePunk75 (7th) has (Ad 8d) and goes all-in with an [A] on the flop but TresStooges is holding (AA). Ouch!

91 min: A SS Akensi (6th) goes AIPF with (KJ) and is called by Boother with (AT).

93 min: Absea98’s (5th) (A8) loses to LittleRedElf’s (A9).

113 min: Boother’s (4th) roller coaster evening ends when his SS (J8) can’t catch LittleRedElf’s (A7).

118 min: LittleRedElf (3rd) ran into the Faldo card avalanche and his SS (94) goes all-in but can't pair against Mikeniks-Faldo’s (JT).

2nd Break:
Mikeniks-Faldo 14510
TresStooges 3490

115 min: Same EXACT chip count!

117 min: TresStooges (2nd) calls Mikeniks-Faldo’s (As 8s) (26%) all-in with the lead and (Ah 9h) (60%). But an [8] flops and it ends.

The race for the 2nd Quarter NPP seat is now ….wide open! Next Tuesday will be exciting! Don’t miss it!

1st – Mikeniks - Faldo
2nd – TresStooges
3rd – LittleRedElf
4th – Boother
5th – Absea98
6th – Akensi
7th – ThePunk75
8th – Sirgash
9th – TrippAA

Standings for 2nd quarter and total points are on the right side of the blog!

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Poker Rights Under Assault – Just Like the Rest of Them

You can hide, you can ignore, you can tune out - but you cannot run. The dictatorship that is the United States Congress, White House and the tax systems for the federal and state levels continue to squash all your freedoms, options and exits.

Here is an article from Gambling 911 dot com, worth putting on an NPP post.

“The two largest online poker rooms, PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker, respectively, have been hit hard in recent days by the fallout from an eCheck payment processor getting pinched,’s eChecks system appears to not be affected by this latest crisis, according to Although advises caution before trying to cash a paper check issued by the company.

There were initial conflicting reports suggesting that Absolute Poker had been impacted by this recent crackdown, though there is not a whole lot of evidence to support this notion (i.e. players complaining about bounced checks). had received hundreds of complaints and inquiries related to this eCheck matter exclusive only to Full Tilt Poker and PokerStars.

PokerStars in particular has been emailing customers, letting them know that their eChecks processor has had "funds froze" and that paper checks from this particular processor will not be accepted by their banks. PokerStars is trying to be as upfront about this situation with their customers as one would expect from this pretty well regarded organization.

Full Tilt Poker (as we here at would expect), not so much in terms of keeping customers informed.

PokerStars customers have noted that there are other options readily available in which to deposit and withdraw money.

And finally, it doesn't appear as if Bodog was utilizing this payment method. The reason being, the processor in question apparently dealt with "poker only" websites and steered clear of those that immersed themselves in the sports betting world such as Bodog.

At least this is what we are being told and, again, we're not reading about eCheck problems with Bodog. If you recently received a check from Bodog - don't cash it until you contact them first.

Please note that eChecks is a generic term used to describe electronic checks, however, there is a processing firm well regarded called eCheck that deals only in online casino transactions and this company is still very much in business and experiencing zero problems with deposits and withdrawals.

The United States Attorney out of New York State has forced the shutdown of this eCheck processor being utilized by PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker and reportedly seized monies as a result.” - Christopher Costigan, – Publisher

Two lessons from this article: One, this confirms NPP's claim that Full Tilt has the worst customer service in the on-line poker industry.

Two, the US government is coming for you also - somehow, someway – no matter what you do or how you live. – Nik Faldo

Friday, June 05, 2009

Keeping Records is Key to Winning Poker

And the more records you keep – the better! I cannot stress this strongly enough. And playing on-line allows you to record notes and review stats – while playing! Advantage – record keeper!

I have always been a stat guy. I know how many base hits I hit in my softball career (more than Pete Rose by the way). How many runs, home runs, doubles, triples and errors I made. I know what my average was in every league I played in – season and total.

I know what month I hit the best in (April – probably because the fielders were not in mid-season form yet and did not reach as many grounders and line drives as they do later in the year) and which month I hit the worst in (June – played so much, out of gas and many little aches and pains), and when I got my second wind (after 4th of July weekend break).

I used the data to improve my game. For instance, I rested more, ate better and cut back on beer to stay fresher in June. I knew I had a tendency to burn out once the adrenalin of being back on the diamond wore off and the hot weather arrived. So it was time to rest as much as possible. My June stats improved!

When I took up golf, I used the same strategy. I kept track of not only every 9-hole score – but fairways hit, greens in regulation, up and down percentage, drops and putts. I could see where I ‘screwed up’ and where I needed to get to work practicing.

The number of DROPS screamed out at me. Having to take a stroke when you never really hit the ball – even I could see – was not good for your score. Where was I taking the drops? Why mostly off the tee box. That was the first thing I had to fix. So I worked on keeping the ball in play – FIRST!

Back off that swing. Find a club that corrects your natural swing errors. Read on how to – stand, grip the club, aim and swing to minimize your errors. Ok – now I am on the course. What is next? And so on.

Why would poker be any different? But unless you have data to review your results, how do you know where your problems are?

For instance, do you know what your Sit-N-Go record is? Wins – 2nds – 3rds, per start? Do you know if you play better on the weekends or on a week night? What day seems to be the best? What time? What entry fee level?

If you record your play, once you have a sufficient amount of data – things might start jumping off the page at you. Let’s say you notice, you never seem to do very well on Monday. Let’s say, you can’t even fathom why that is.

Well, the first hole to plug is – don’t play on Monday. Or drop down in stakes. At least you can start to look at what is going on there.

Finally the question may come up – can you over do your record keeping? Uh……no.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Douge2’s Humor Corner VII

Following Union Rules

A dedicated United Auto Worker union member was attending a convention in Las Vegas.
He decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $60 and the girls get $40," she answered

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.
His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house.

We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."

Total Recall

Matchy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello.
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from.

Matchy says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you are the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks deep into Matchy’s eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher.”

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Derf-63 Wins His 1st NPP Tourney

Derf-63 beat a field of fifteen to win his first NPP tourney. The Red Wing playoff, nice weather and end of the second quarter looming, seems to have shrunk the field. But NPP is so talent laden it is never a walk thru a berry patch.

We also welcome two new players to NPP tonight, Merhibka and T3chalady. Please send me an email you two – so I can email you should the need arise – in case of a password change.

There will be a new password for the start of the 3rd quarter.

My apologies to Derf-63 and the rest of the NPP family for not being here. I just landed a part-time job at a golf course, and they needed me as a replacement starter-ranger Tuesday evening. How do you say no on your second day?

A BIG thanks to Wingsfancurt for filling in and giving us this:

3 min: Things started early as T3chlady (15th) goes all-in with (66) and loses to TrippAA with (JJ).

28min: Douge2 (14th) takes tough lose as his (AAKK) loses on river to Absea98's K's10's full house.

[Ed: Note: LittleRedElf (13th) went out also at some point.]

40 min: Short stacked Wingsfancurt (12th) 8's 3's loses to Derf63 A's 3's. (Told you I couldn't multi-task and try to follow Wings game too). [Ed. Note: It’s not easy to do.]

48 min: Akensi (11th) takes tough lose with (44466) full house to Theedouble*d (66644).

59 min: Missed the next bust as ThePunk75 (10th) goes out just before intermission. Table closed before I could see the hand [Ed. Note: Always happens].

1st Break:
Derf63 4970
Kensik 3550
Theedouble*d 3270
absea98 2988
Funtoon 2625
Tripp AA 2032
Merhibka 1550
Rennzzo 1275
Tresstooges 240

75 min: Merhibka (9th) KK loses on river as TrippAA makes 2-6 straight.

78 min: Tres Stooges (8th) folded all in never made it to game. He arrived late after golf with his son.

79 min: Kensik kicker takes down Rennzzo (7th) as both had A's.

81 min: Funtoon (6th) goes all in with AQ after river 2 10 10 5 A only to lose to Tripp AA 3 10's.

84 min: Absea98 pocket K's takes down Kensik (5th)

88 min: Theedouble*d (4th) (A7) goes all in after flop of 10 A 7 only to see Derf63 (AJ) hit his J on the turn.

100 min: Short stacked Tripp AA (3rd) (6Q) goes all in but can't pair up against Derf's pocket 5's.

Heads up lasts 18 minutes as lead seesaws back and forth

119 min: Absea98 (2nd) goes all in when his pocket K is paired on flop of 10 8 K. River 8 gives Derf63 (8 10) the full house and victory. – Wingsfancurt

Welcome to the Walk of Fame, Derf!

1st – Derf-63
2nd – Absea98
3rd – TrippAA
4th – Theedouble*d
5th – Kensik
6th – Funtoon
7th – Rennzzo
8th – TresStooges
9th – Merhibka

We have a race horserace for the 2nd quarter seat in the NPP Finals! Everyone listed above LittleRedElf in the 2nd qtr standings could still claim the seat! Standings for 2nd quarter and total points are on the right side of the blog!