Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Community Card Review - XXV

Here are a series of American presidents sadly informing the American people how and why our nation is taking military action, immediately or within a few hours after it began:

"December 7th, 1941. A date that will live in infamy." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"At 7pm air and Naval forces of the United States launched a series of strikes against the headquarters, terrorist facilities and military assets that support Momar Kaddafi and his subversive activities." - Ronald Reagan

"Just two hours ago, Allied air forces began an attack on military targets in Iraq and Kuwait." - G.H. Bush - 41

"Our mission will be limited, focused and under the command of an American general." - Bill Clinton

"My fellow citizens, at this hour American forces are in the early stages of operations to disarm Iraq, to free its people, and defend the world from grave danger." - G.W. Bush - 43

As bombing of Libya began - "Hello Rio de Janeiro! [Hello, happy to be here. Let's party!]" (Bracketed part in Portuguese) - Barack Hussein Obama

How is that hope and change working out for you? Democrats said the Bush economy was the worst in 40 years with 4.6% unemployment. We stand at 14% unemployment today…and the Obama Administration calls it a “recovery”. So does the left wing media.

The Obama Administration’s propaganda wing called the “main stream media” outwardly campaigns for someone in Libya to execute Kaddafi so to spare the Obama Administration from any culpability or accountability. The same left wing media that demands and approves of a civilian trial and US citizen rights for Kalil Shak Mohammed is openly wishing for Kaddafi’s execution.

The Obama Administration – one month before bombing Libya – asked Congress for $1.7 million dollars of assistance to Libya, in order for them to “protect their borders.” This same Obama Administration is suing the state of Arizona for attempting to defend their border with Mexico.

The Obama Administration said that $800,000 spent by the stimulus package; saved 30 jobs in an Arizona district near the border (average of $26,000 a year job). Unfortunately, the district named - DOES NOT EXIST!!!

The Obama Administration is pushing to cut out tax deductions for charitable donations. This will mean fewer donations. Less charity help forces people to turn to the government for help. Coincidence? Yeah, right.

The Obama Administration stated that the right wing lied when they said there were death panels, free health care for illegal aliens and free abortions in Obama-care. Now that the Democrats passed Obama-care - and actually started to read it - even they realized that every one of those things is in the bill. The Obama Administration lied.

If you are still a Democrat, you are a moron, mentally ill or a traitor. Pure and simple.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

LittleRedElf Wins His 11th NPP Tourney

Did you think we were going to shut him out all year? It was back to the winner’s circle for one of NPP’s finest. He threaded the mind field at a tough final table and a tough heads up opponent to get it done.

Now we all will have our hands full trying to catch the Elf for the 2nd Quarter seat. Good luck to us, because we are going to need it!

We had 23 starters tonight – a nice crowd. We welcome a new player – Bungbert, and we also saw the return of 99RAW99, Bogus Al, Rjmech, and Spartan Flash. Hope you all hang around.

The action was fast and furious early – then slowed to a crawl as all remaining were deep stacked (twss….or hs).

On to the NPP action:

15 min: Rjmech (23rd)
17 min: KingBing420 (22nd)
22 min: Suetman1 (21st)
25 min: SpartanFlash (20th)
39 min: A short-stacked (SS) Meatsword (19th) runs into Nixi44’s (AA).
41 min: Sirgash (18th) has to go with (AJ) and runs into Tomservo2’s (KK).
44 min: Absea98 (17th)
45 min: Derf-63 (16th) with (AK) loses a coin to LittleRedElf with (66).
50 min: Tigercub8189 (15th) takes a beating here at the hands of newbie Bungbert. First, Tigercub loses with (AA) versus Bung’s (KK) when a king hits the river. Then, the very next hand, a crippled Cub has to go with (A6) and Bungbert holds (QQ)! Wow. That could make you give up poker!

53 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (14th) zigged when he should have zagged for nearly an entire hour, before my (Ac 3c) lost to Messinagirl1’s (99).

55 min: 95corolla (13th)

1st break:
Tomservo2 7070
LittleRedElf 4445
Douge2 4150
ThePunk75 3525
Nixi44 3430
Bungbert 2970
99Raw99 1840
Pre01 1830
T3chlady 1750
Messinagirl1 1720
K9isadog 1210
BogusAl 560

It gets crazy for a while!

61 min: Bungbert (12th) sees his (JJ) run into LittleRedElf’s (QQ).
63 min: K9isadog (11th) goes with (AQ) but Douge2 with (Kc Jc) hits his [K].
64 min: Bogus Al (10th)
66 min: Messinagirl1 (9th) goes with (77) but loses to Douge2 with (KT) and a [K] on the turn.

67 min: 99RAW99 (8th) loses his coin flip with (QQ) to Nixi44’s (AK) and a [K] on the turn.

70 min: A SS Pre01 (7th) gets double-teamed by LittleRedElf and the winner Douge2.
74 min: T3chlady (6th) gets cold-decked in the blind as her (53) flops [TT5] Tomservo2 is holding (T8)! Ouch.

Now we settle in for the long haul.

98 min: A SS Nixi44 (5th) sees her (QT) run into ThePunk75’s (A6).
100 min: A SS Douge2 (4th) has to go with (JT) and loses to ThePunk75’s (A7).

2nd break:
LittleRedElf 13506
Tomservo2 11473
ThePunk75 9521

127 min: A SS Tomservo2 (3rd) has to go with (J4) and loses to ThePunk75’s (KT).

Heads up: LittleRedElf 24600 - 9900 ThePunk75
Heads up: LittleRedElf 20700 - 13800 ThePunk75

121 min: ThePunk75 (2nd) goes with (55) and LittleRedElf has to call with (AK) and a [K] hits the flop as it has all night.

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 11th NPP win!

1st – LittleRedElf – 24 points
2nd – ThePunk75 – 19 points
3rd – Tomservo2 – 15 pts
4th – Douge2 – 12 pts
5th – Nixi44 – 9 pts
6th – T3chlady – 7 pts
7th – Pre01 – 5 pts
8th – 99RAW99 – 4 pts
9th – Messinagirl1 – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!

Monday, March 28, 2011

NPP 2nd Quarter Starts Tuesday

One of the good and bad things about being an NPP'er is that the recruiting never stops.

We had 46 players that stopped by in the 1st quarter and had 21 for the final round.
That is about average. Half of the active players make the game each week.

Using the formula (works the same for home games also [want 7 players, get 14 to 20 on your player list]), we need 54 active players in order to acheive a 3-table tourney (kind of number of players that I think works for a work night).

NPP has hit the 64 active and the over 100 on the mailing list. We currently stand at 79 on the mailing list - not including players whose emails I don't have yet. Please get those in.

League poker is tough to fill...especially on-line. The main draw about on-line is that you can get a game anytime - day or night - and you are not tied to casino hours, players available or home games arrainged. So, why join an internet league?

The NPP league has some benefits - even though NPP does not generate enough profit to offer bonuses or tournament add-on prizes. They are:
1) Great players to practice against
2) Fun and friendly players
3) If you are a lady, worryiing abouy fitting in - 1/6 of our players are ladies.
4) The entry fee is only $5.50
5) League competition where every round counts!
6) Access to a blog - where you can have events, jokes and articles you submit published.
7) and NPP events where we all meet in person to play a little poker. (yes, we will start having them again soon).

Let's get some new players in the mix.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Ultimate Bet Challenge Update – April, 2011

Yes, I know it is not April, but the UB Challenge is over for March.

It was the tale of two streak runs...starting off slow and finishing strong. It took almost the entire $9 in entry to get on the plus side, but not the full $9.

So, I had to keep going and lost again early, before winning a SNG tourney and righting the ship.

Faldo also played in one UB MTT and booked a small win in that, finishing 135th.

Not related to the UB Challenge, Faldo also had a 2nd in a PokerStars 90-player SNG this month.

My accountant – pictured here – updated the record for the UB Challenge:

For March, Faldo bet $13.58 and that returned $21.06 – for a profit of $7.48.

This is the biggest month profit wise for this challenge. The new bankroll for UB (that started at $9.02) is $42.09!

The purpose of this challenge was to show that you can grind your way to profit playing on-line poker. It actually involves as much to do with bankroll management as it does with poker playing talent.

Faldo is living proof that you can be short of poker talent and still squeak out a profit.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Douge2’s Humor Corner – LX

Insulting the Innocent is Unacceptable

A man is sitting in a bar in Montana and far from home when Barack Obama
comes on TV. The man looks at the TV and says, "Obama is a horse's ass."

Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face, knocking the
first guy off his bar stool, then stomps out.

He gets back up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer.

Shortly after, Michelle Obama appears on the TV. He looks at the TV and
says, "She is a horse's ass too!"

Out of nowhere, another local punches him in the other side of the face,
knocking him off his bar stool again.

He gets back up and looks at the bartender, "I take it this is Obama

"Nope." replies the bartender. "Horse country."

A Road in Iraq

A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an
Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite
side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.
The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both
men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the
highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw
each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road..

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag
who got what he deserved. and he yelled back that Barack Obama is a
lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn't even an American.

So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!
He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!"

"And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us."

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Derf-63 Wins His 4th NPP Tilt – Absea98 Clinches the NPP Finals Seat!

It was a grand night with a little bit of everything. New players, returning players, surprising missing players and one player on a roll at the right time -Derf-63! The total was twenty-one.

And Katy Perry was on hand to sweater Faldo, fetch him drinks and give him massages.
Ok, to announce the players as then entered NPP.
Ok, announce the Final Table.

Ok, I just wanted to use the picture.

We started with nine (9) players with a chance for the seat. Absea98, Derf-63, KingBing420, LittleRedElf, Mikeniks-Faldo, Suetman1, T3chlady, ThePunk75, and Tigercub8189.

We welcomed two new players: Aatramp and BogusAl. Welcome and please send an email to npokerp at yahoo. Thanks.

Also Duder1123 returns to see what he can do to stir things up.

On to the NPP action:

11 min: Theedouble*d (21st) gets all-in with (KK) after the flop, but Derf-63 (QJ) flopped two pair. A quick double-up has Derf in the hunt for the seat.

15 min: BogusAl (20th) gets the usual NPP welcome as his (A7) and flopped two pair lose to Derf-63 and his flopped two pair (A8). Yes the flop was [A78]. Derf is on a roll.

21 min: K9isadog (19th)
22 min: Messinagirl1 (18th) Some bad luck here of late.
23 min: Suetman1 (17th) falls victim to the red hot Derf-63, as he has a higher flush! Wow! Sue is out of contention for the seat.

40 min: Meatsword (16th) loses his coin flip with (QQ) to Derf-63 with (AK) and an [A] on the flop! Make that white – hot!!!

42 min: ThePunk75 (15th) The Punk is out for the seat.
44 min: Tomservo2 (14th) and Nahanni74 (13th) are double-teamed in four-way action (twss) and lose to Duder1123’s flush.

45 min: KingBing420 (12th)
50 min: Gnosis1970 (11th) and Douge2 (10th) are double-knocked out on the other table and Faldo is at the final table!

Unfortunately, I am not only short-stacked (twss), but of the five (5) people I need to beat to win the seat, four are to my left! Thanks a pant load, PokerStars!

53 min: LittleRedElf (9th) goes with (T7) and a flopped two pair, but loses to Duder1123’s (AA) when the board pairs 9’s. Elf comes up short for the seat.

Get it? Short for the seat? An ELF…short for the seat! Never mind.

60 min: Break Monster at work as Tigercub8189 (8th) loses with (AK) when Aatramps hits his flush. Tigercub also is out of the running for the 1st seat in the NPP finals.

1st break:
Absea98 9070
Derf-63 6880
Aatramps 5905
Duder1123 5175
Pre01 2655
T3chlady 995
Mikeniks-Faldo 820

I am woefully short-stacked, all the people I have to catch have position on me…..and I am wearing sunglasses in my dark basement.

Let’s roll!

61 min: A short-stacked T3chlady (7th) has to go with (A8) and loses to Duder1123’s straight. The Lady will not win a seat this night. Faldo is down to 520 chips.

66 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (6th) makes his last stand with (A2) but Derf-63 pairs his king. No seat for Faldo.

The scene is now set. Derf-63 has to win with Absea98 finishing 5th. A tough task since Absea98 has the chip lead at the time. Let’s see how it plays out. It takes a while.

84 min: Duder1123 (5th) gets ousted in a double-team and Absea98 clinches the 1st quarter seat in the NPP Finals! But Derf-63 presses on in search of raising his total NPP point total …..and winning money!

98 min: Pre01 (4th) goes with (AK) and loses to Derf-63’s (QQ). Still hot! But getting even hotter!

101 min: Aatramps (3rd) goes with (KK), Derf-63 calls with (JT) and rivers the straight! Ouch! Nice run by the newcomer!

Heads up: Derf-63 28000 - 3500 Absea98

105 min: Derf-63 27300 - 4200 Absea98

110 min: Absea98 (2nd) has to go with (K2) and runs into Derf-63’s (66).

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 4th NPP and to Absea98 on winning the 1st seat in the NPP Finals!

1st – Derf-63 – 24 points
2nd – Absea98 – 19 points
3rd – Aatramps – 15 pts
4th – Pre01 – 12 pts
5th – Duder1123 – 9 pts
6th – Mikeniks-Faldo – 7 pts
7th – T3chlady – 5 pts
8th – Tigercub8189 – 4 pts
9th – LittleRedElf – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Faldo Odds and Ends on a March Madness Sunday

First of all, I want to apologize if my last CC Review was a little harsh on some Democrat or “swayed” Independent voters. I was just trying to re-enforce the point that elections are not a game – but a serious responsibility. And it should be treated as such, as elections have consequences. And as we are seeing - serious consequences.

Anyone who even gave a superficial review of Obama's history (which would have taken all of 2 minutes because there wasn't any - and what there was, was pathetic) would have run to McCain or a third party - or abstained. Which is exactly what Obama's voting history was full of.

Secondly, Faldo went with Beerhog to an open skate time in Hartland. My first time on my hockey skates in about 12 years! I took it easy, got my heart rate up then cooled down to coasting around. Heart beat was normal and did not go out of rhythm!

I did this a few time as I started to get a little stronger – and a little more confident - on my skates. I was not flying around the rink as I did in my playing days, but it felt pretty good.

Third – I had my first cigar of 2011 on my deck today – and first one since September, 2010. I did some light yard work burning the mass of sticks and branches that fell from my trees during the harsh winter. Then, I relaxed with a cold one and a Licenciado Toro in the first deck chair I rescued from the shed for this event. Nice!

Forth - is anyone else having trouble cashing out on Full Tilt?? I cashed out $500 on January 28, with a bank transfer. FT informed me on Feb. 4 that they are having trouble with their bank transfer system, so they would have to wire me the money. They credited my account with $50 to pay for the transfer fees.

I received $450.51 (???) in my bank account, but another $12 was deducted as “added” transfer fees. I had to write FT to tell them what happened, then scan the transactions and send that – before they credited my account with the missing $12. All this activity actually scored me an extra 51 cents.

What bothers me about Full Tilt is that their customer service is just TERRIBLE! Any real answer from FT support takes 3 to 7 days! This is unacceptable.

Can anyone share their Full Tilt cashing out stories please? I can’t be the only one having issues with their service.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Community Card Review – XXIV

I think there was a report out of a nation’s capital once upon a time, that Nero fiddled while Rome burned. History certainly does repeat itself. Case in point:

Reporter: “Mr. President, breaking news from Japan, in what is reported to be the worst nuclear disaster since Chernobyl. What is the United States going to do to help Japan, and is FEMA studying the situation on how it may impact us here at home?”

Obama: “Uhhh, as much as I like North Carolina, as much as I love Roy Williams, I think Ohio State has the talent this year.”

Reporter: “In other breaking news, on another crisis – the conflict in Libya - where Ghadaffi is bombing his own citizens, what is the US foreign policy on this matter?”

Obama: “I think Kansas keeps on winning.”

Reporter: “This breaking news just in after the closing bell on Wall Street a tumultuous day due to skyrocketing gas prices and poor economic forecasts. You said you were going to concentrate like a laser on the economy. What is the plan now Mr. President?”

Obama: “Uhhh, I’m going to pick Duke!”

Reporter: “The US economy still looks bleak because housing continues to falter and the consumer price index is rising due to our shrinking dollar on the world stage. What is your solution to this Mr. President?”

Obama: “Uhhh, on this one, I think Pitt is going to win.”

Reporter: “We still don’t have a federal budget approved for 2010 as the Democrats did not want to show their tax and spend plans prior to the election. But now the Democrats are stalling the efforts of the Republicans to get a budget finalized. Democrats say they need your bully pulpit to push their message. What is your response to this, Mr. President?”

Obama: “Good luck with that. I am heading to Rio de Janeiro for another vacation. By the way, Kansas wins it all!”

If you voted for Obama – to clear your own conscience and make it right with your fellow citizens – you should not vote again for two straight presidential elections.

You should probably consider never voting again. You are obviously easily fooled and an emotion based cripple with no grip on reality.

Obama stated on the record to a voter – prior to the election - that the communist ideal of “spreading the wealth around” was his priority.

This idiot man-child was only in the senate 6 months, voted “Present” 70% of the time on only the 50% of the votes he was even in the building for - and you voted him into the highest office in the world?????

The man is a goof-off and a communist - on top of being incompetent. I know McCain was a pathetic candidate, but at least he showed up for work.

There is no excuse. If you voted for Obama, do the country – your ancestors, and your offspring a favor – and never vote again.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Douge2’s Humor Corner – LIX

I was playing poker…with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

From the new hand nicknames department….....AK = Anna Kournikova.
Looks great. Never wins.

What is the…difference between prayer in a church and at the poker table?
At a poker table, really mean it.

Two rules for…success in poker:
1) Never tell everything you know.

From the poker dictionary: lottery (noun):
A tax on people who are bad at math.

Some nuns at…a small convent were left a modest estate. Each nun got $50 in cash to give away as she saw fit. Each nun announced how she would spend her bequest. Sister Ann decided to give her share to the first poor person she saw. Right then, she saw a beggar across the street that looked down on his luck. She walked to the man, slipped him the $50, and said, “I’m Sister Ann. Godspeed, my good man.”

The next day, the man returned to the convent and rang the bell. "I'd like to see Sister Ann," he said. The nun at the door refused this, but offered to give a message. The man said, “Give her this $100 and tell her Godspeed came in second in the third race at Aqueduct.”

A blonde woman was on a girls’ weekend in Las Vegas. She stood in front of a candy machine, put in two quarters, turned the knob, and a candy bar fell out. She repeated the process, and again a candy bar fell out. Elated, she tried again as a man approached, saying, “Excuse me miss, what are you doing?”

She said, “Duh! Winning!”

Don’t Ever…use a fake Jamaican accent at a Caribbean Stud Poker table.

How do you…get a sweet little 80-year old woman to yell (^#&^?
Get another sweet little 80-year old woman to yell “BINGO!”

What is the difference between a poker player and a dog?
The dog will eventually stop whining.

This husband had a serious gambling problem and was a terrible poker player too. Every time he came home from the casino, his wife asked how much he lost. One night, he didn’t come home at all. Finally, he staggered in at 9 AM. His wife started in on him, but he cut her off.

“I have to confess. I got drunk at the bar last night and went home with a cocktail waitress.”

“Don’t give me that bull,” she replied. “How much did you lose last night?”

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Faldo Wins and Gets Back Into the NPP Race!

Sorry for the lack of a report, but I have a killer work day tomorrow and have to get to bed early! Well, as early as possible.

Well it is a real log jam now at the top of the 1st quarter standings. Thirteen players are still in the running for the 1st quarter seat in the NPP finals!

On to the NPP action:

10 min: Pre01 (23rd)
19 min: Meatsword (22nd)
21 min: ThePunk75 (21st) (88) loses to Gnosis1970 (JJ).
26 min: BigDaddyTman (20th) (AT) loses to Gnosis1970’s (55).
29 min: LittleRedElf (19th) (KK) full house loses to Mikeniks-Faldo’s quad tens!
32 min: Tigercub8189 (18th)
36 min: Nixi44 (17th) and Wingsfancurt (16th) to Gnosis1970.
38 min: Nahanni74 (15th)
39 min: Douge2 (14th) (JJ) loses to Sirgash’s (AA).
40 min: Beerhog (13th) (66) loses to Mikeniks-Faldo’s (AA).
50 min: Jps48 (12th)
57 min: Tomservo2 (11th)

1st break:
Sirgash 7825
Mikeniks-Faldo 6116
Absea98 5310
T3chlady 4485
Gnosis1970 3498
Suetman1 3065
K9isadog 1583
Derf-63 1428
KingBing420 720
Messinagirl1 470

64 min: KingBing470 (10th)
67 min: Gnosis1970 (9th)
70 min: Messingagirl1 (8th)
84 min: Absea98 (7th) (A8) loses to Sirgash’s (AQ)
92 min: Suetman1 (6th) (AQ) loses to Mikeniks-Faldo’s (77).
90 min: T3chlady (5th) (AA) get run down by Sirgash’s (A4) straight.
96 min: Derf-63 (4th) (AT) loses to Mikeniks-Faldo’s (AK)

Now a long battle ensues:

2nd break:
Mikeniks-Faldo 14195
Sirgash 10573
K9isadog 9732

It is decided to chop the cash. Now the battle for NPP points!

142 min!!!!: A SS Sirgash (3rd) has to go with (A7) and loses to K9isadog’s (JJ).

Heads up: Mikeniks-Faldo 4500 - 31000 K9isadog

The cards shined on Faldo as he won a couple races and really got lucky when his A-rag won over K9’s pocket pair when the board paired twice with two higher cards and Faldo’s (A) played.

150 min: K9isadog (2nd) (JT) loses to Mikeniks-Faldo’s (AK)

What a race we have now!

1st – Mikeniks-Faldo – 24 points
2nd – K9isadog – 19 points
3rd – Sirgash – 15 pts
4th – Derf-63 – 12 pts
5th – T3chlady – 9 pts
6th – Suetman1 – 7 pts
7th – Absea98 – 5 pts
8th – Messinagirl1 – 4 pts
9th – Gnosis1970 – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Community Card Review – XXIII

Did you hear about the field trip that students from a People’s Republic of Ann Arbor elementary school went on? Well, some of the students.

American students - who happen to be black (AWHTBB) – were told to stay at the school as they could not travel with their white student classmates and friends. White children were allowed to go on this field trip, but not the AWHTBB kids.

According to the principal of the school, it was necessary to segregate the children as the kids were going to go meet a famous white rocket scientist.

The principal said he understands how hard it is for white students to compete these days. He hoped that the white children meeting the white scientist would get the kids “pumped up” to do their schoolwork. Then – just maybe, the principal thought – these white children could achieve great things too.

When the white kids returned from the field trip, some of the AWHTBB children booed them! And the AWHTBB parents were upset too.

But the principal said it was worth it to see the “energy and excitement in those white children’s eyes, when they met the white scientist, it made the whole segregated field trip worthwhile.”

The principal talked to the AWHTBB students afterwards and said that “no offense” was meant to them, and they had to understand that this special treatment of white children was necessary.

Wait a second. I think I got it backwards…………....

Yes, sorry. It was the AWHTBB students that went on the field trip to see a AWHTBB scientist and it was the white students that were left out and left behind.

So this is no big deal. No story here. It is standard operating procedure in the land of liberalism – the true home of racism and bigotry.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

T3chlady Announces a Possible NPP WSOP Weekend in Michigan

I will let T3 – Jean take it from here:

“Here we go!!

How about a 2011 Summer Poker Weekend up north to coincide with a scheduled $50 Saturday Poker Tournament at the Island Resort and Casino near Escanaba, MI?

This is a consolation prize for those of us not playing in the WSOP Main Event in Las Vegas.

I propose leaving on Thursday, July 7, before noon. Friday is open. Lots to see and do. Popular tourist sites, and of course – the casino. (Golf for Faldo?) There is a NLHE tourney at 6:30pm ($35).

Saturday – Main event starts at 5pm ($50).

Sunday – Breakfast, check out and leave by noon.

We can drive caravan style – about 400 miles one way. I have reserved a cottage that sleeps eight (8). If needed I can reserve another. Cost is approximately $100 per person.

All are welcome. Bring your friend or significant other. Poker whining is prohibited. You must be 21 so bring ID.” – Jean

Sounds like a fun time. Faldo is considering it. Who else is possibly in?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Douge2’s Humor Corner – LVIII

The old show of Hollywood Squares - Questions and Answers:

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it...

Q. True or False, A pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Beerhog Returns to Win His 10th NPP Tilt!

Besting the other 23 players as NPP picked up some much appreciated traffic.

Returning to the NPP felt wars was Beerhog, Nixi44, Merhibka and Rjmech.

Joining NPP for the first time was 99Raw99 and Crabbyjoe154. Welcome to NPP. Glad to have you with us.

Another fine showing by LittleRedElf kept him in the 1st quarter lead with two rounds left. But he has many fine players breathing down his neck in the stretch. It will be an exciting finish for sure.

On to the NPP action:

5 min: Derf-63 (24th) goes with (AT) and runs into 99Raw99’s (AK).
10 min: KingBing420 (23rd) Missed it; playing my own hand.
21 min: Theedouble*d (22nd) loses a coin flip (55) as Merhibka pairs his Ace (AK).
32 min: Nixi44 (21st) gets double-teamed by K9isadog and the winner Suetman1.
40 min: Meatsword (20th)
48 min: Rjmech (19th)

1st break:
Beerhog 3830
Tomservo2 3745
LittleRedElf 3240
Mikeniks-Faldo 2760
Suetman1 2722
Tommydoo 2515
Tigercub8189 2350
99Raw99 2065
Nahanni74 2055
BigDaddyTman 2048
Merhibka 1875
Crabbyjoe154 1745
95corolla 1585
K9isadog 990
ThePunk75 970
Absea98 820
T3chlady 545
Messinagirl1 140

62 min: T3chlady (18th) has to go with (QQ) and runs into Beerhog’s (AA).
67 min: Messinagirl1 (17th)
68 min: Nahanni74 (16th)
69 min: Crabbyjoe154 (15th) goes with (55) but loses to Beerhog with (AJ) and an [A] on the flop. This scrip repeats the rest of the night ad nauseam.

70 min: 95corolla (14th) sees his (QQ) lost to LittleRedElf’s (AQ) with an [A] on the flop.

75 min: ThePunk75 (13th)
77 min: Merhibka (12th)
79 min: Tommydoo (11th)
86 min: Absea98 (10th) Have to confess. I was trying to survive myself so not watching hands at this point.

94 min: A short-stacked (SS) Tomservo2 (9th) goes with (KT) but loses to K9isadog’s (88).

102 min: A SS LittleRedElf (8th) loses his coin flip (AQ) to K9isadog’s (99).
108 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (7th) flops a straight and moves all-in as a flush is possible. Beerhog calls with trips and hits his full house on the turn – and bigger full house on the river.

PokerStars must have forgotten it already screwed me with the turn card. The pile on was a nice touch. I’m sure the next card of the PokerStars deck was quads.

111 min: A SS 99Raw99 (6th) goes with (A4) but cannot catch Beerhog’s (JJ).
112 min: Poor Suetman1 (5th) sees her (AA) get run down by K9isadog’s (QQ) as he makes a flush. PokerStars gave the same gift to him against Faldo earlier.

114 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (4th) has to go with (Kh Jh) and loses to Beerhog’s (T5) with a [5] on the flop. Why not?

116 min: A SS BigDaddyTman (3rd) has to go with (KJ) also and loses to Beerhog’s (AJ).

Heads up: Beerhog 22000 - 14000 K9isadog

2nd break:
Beerhog 29600
K9isadog 6400

An epic battle between two players with a lot of wins at NPP does not happen as;
121 min: K9isadog (2nd) pairs on the flop, but Beerhog trip’s on the same flop!

Congratulations to Beerhog on his 10th NPP!

1st – Beerhog – 24 points
2nd – K9isadog – 19 points
3rd – BigDaddyTman – 15 pts
4th – Tigercub8189 – 12 pts
5th – Suetman1 – 9 pts
6th – 99Raw99 – 7 pts
7th – Mikeniks-Faldo – 5 pts
8th – LittleRedElf – 4 pts
9th – Tomservo2 – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!

Monday, March 07, 2011

Ultimate Bet Challenge Update – March, 2011

This is what Faldo looked like during his on-line poker battles in February.

It was not a good time. But, like the fighter Diego Sanchez - pictured here – Faldo still managed to come out with a win.

On PokerStars, I had a hard time surviving the first half hour of the NPP league tourney that month, let alone make a final table. My MTT results were similarly negative. Round One to Poker-Mike Tyson-Stars over Faldo.

The Ultimate Bet Challenge started out in the black, but that quickly spiraled down into the mire as I tried to make it to the bet minimum on a positive note. I failed. I went further than the minimum required to win back the losses, and managed to shrink the negative number for the month.

I wagered $12.36 on the UB felt and netted a -$.39 loss. Sometimes you just are going to have a losing month on a particular site – or maybe an overall losing month - no matter what you do. Round Two to Brock-UB-Lesnar over Faldo.

But, never panic. Never tilt. Stab your PokerStars look-a-like dummy of Daniel Negreanu with a hunting knife, and beat it with a weighted baseball bat (did I type that out loud?). Burn your UB hat. Privately, make a Phil Hellmuth melt down look like quiet meditation. But never tilt.

Fortunately, on the other sites I visit; Full Tilt, Bo Dog Poker, Sportsbook Poker and World Sports Exchange Poker, Faldo netted enough profit to eek out a small win overall for the month of February.

TKO in the 5th round by Faldo.

Here’s hoping my fortunes improve on PokerStars and Ultimate Bet in March. So far, ..........................not so much.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Girandoni air rifle as used by Lewis and Clark

The guide and interpreter for Lewis and Clark was Sacagawea.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Faldo Ventures Out – 1st Cash Game of 2011

First cash game not only of 2011, but first one since my heart ablation procedure. I have missed the last couple I have had an invite to.

I don’t know if the procedure fixed me up yet, but I do know my doctor did not add the Gus Hanson add-on I specifically asked for (tws-wanted).

I still had my same weak game where I make Dan Harrington look like Tom Dwan on steroids.

Matchy got Beerhog and I invited to a NL cash game that was well run, well stocked (with a keg no less) and with a pro dealer who works a couple charity rooms. Nine players sat down and the three of us represented NPP just fine this night.

The poker table was built by the host “Dave”, and it looked great. He builds them, and if you need one, let me know and I will see if he can hook you up. I wish I needed one.

Good guys…and they are good players. I will see if they want to join us on Tuesdays.

One or more of them run and/or contribute to a forum called “Perfect Man Cave”. Check it out. One of Dave’s poker tables is a “must” in the perfect man cave.

A poll was taken at the table about whether or not a pro dealer was a good idea for a cash home game or not? The consensus was an easy victory for “pro dealer”. Faldo agrees.

Now, of course stakes play a roll here as a penny-ante game can’t afford a dealer. But this was a simple $.50 - $1 blind (straddle allowed) $50 - $100 buy-in, NL game, NL Holdem-Omaha-Pineapple-Omaha Hi-Lo rotation. A simple ½ blind to full blind tip after each hand and a small (voluntary) charitable donation to the dealer after the game, netted the dealer an hourly rate between $15 and $20 an hour.

What makes a pro dealer affordable for a home game is no rake. At a casino game the rake hits the player as well as being a good sport and helping the dealer with a tip after a win. The dealer tip alone is not that bad a “vig” on the game, and worth for the convenience of players not having to deal.

I would like the reader’s opinion on the matter. We can discuss the “cons” to a pro dealer in the next article. I think there are some. For instance, I think a paid dealer for a tournament is too costly. Not to mention, you wear out the dealer if there is no relief person.

Your thoughts?

Thursday, March 03, 2011

T3chlady Has Success in Biloxi!

Beau Rivage Main Hall

Here is the lady’s report:

“Beau Rivage is my new favorite place. I came with $1500 and left with $2500. The place is stunning and the poker room very busy.

First night – Wed Feb 23.

I sat down at the 1-2 table and in the first half hour lost my $100 buy-in to two opponents who flushed on either the turn or river. I had 2 pair and trips respectively.

Well I settled down, bought in again and after 5 hours had built my stack up to $580.

During the evening I had some really great hands quad jacks and then jacks again against QQ when J82 flopped and then the board paired for the FH.

The 5 hours gave us a free entry into their noon tournament today but I busted out early with QQ against KK. I couldn’t get away from the hand when the flop was rainbow with all low cards.

The casino does not take a rake, but rather charges $6 per half hour play to all players. So really they punish the losers where a rake punishes the winners. It works out ok if you win enough to cover it.

Second night – Thurs Feb 24

I’m up $500 today thanks to a monster hand. I thought I was the BB and put my $2 out there. Dealer said it had to stay. OK, I had (Qc Jc).

Flop was [8c 9s 10c] - almost a straight flush! Button pushes with trip 10s. $135 to call and I called.

The next guy over goes all-in with (Ac Kc) clubs. I call with my last $60. $500+ pot, {and no one runs her down!}. Whoo hoo!

Second Day – Thursday Feb 24
Thursday night I had a short session at the poker room and quickly lost $100 (a cooler after my earlier win).

Third Day – Friday Feb 25

Friday morning I entered a tournament and was out early again so I went to the cash table after a short break and lost another $100.

Deciding to regroup, I went for a walk around the hotel, took some pictures and played slots for a while. After a wonderful dinner at a Japanese hibachi restaurant here at the hotel I went back for one last try.

I’m very happy I did. I sat down at 7:30 PM and by 8:00 my hundred dollars was 200.00 after hitting a straight and a flush.

Nothing much happened until about 10 PM when my stack had grown to 300 in some small pots and I commented to the fellows next to me (who also had been doing very well) that I wanted to double up and go to bed.

Shortly after that I was dealt AA and raised early to $12. Two big stack callers

Flop was [A23] rainbow. I stared at it. Long pause. I knew these guys could have anything and 45o was certainly within the realm of possibility. So I raised!

My bet was about $30. First person folded. Second person reraised and I called.

[8] on the turn. No flush in sight. Then I bet again, He called.

The river paired the board [2] for Aces full of 2s. He raised. I pushed. He called, showing (AJ). $625 pot. Yes!!

Can’t wait to go back.”

Thanks for the report T3chlady. Thanks for representing NPP so well too!

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

ThePunk75 Wins his 9th NPP Tilt and Gets Back in the 1st Quarter Race!

Besting the other 19 players on a crazy night of action and cards. PokerStars was on steroids, even for PokerStars. I of course didn’t catch every hand, but what I did was ….crazy!

My luck was rancid again early. I may quit PokerStars and join CoinFlipStars or RockPaperScissorsStars after tonight.

But everyone got their share of bad beats tonight. Some kept getting dealt monsters, while others kept flopping monsters. And while you may have “got the bear” the first few times, the bear “got you” eventually – except for ThePunk75.

We had a new player join us, who played mute. No one claimed Jps48 as their own. JP, email Faldo a note please.

Coming back to the NPP tables after too long an absence was BigDaddyTman and Sirgash. Welcome back.

On to the NPP action:

10 min: Theedouble*d (20th) sees his (7s 5s) hit the flop-turn of [6545] but run into Meatsword’s (44). This trend goes on all night long.

17 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (19th). No comment. At least nothing printable or even rational.
33 min: xxxKdogxxx (18th) Missed it. Busy mixing my 5th drink since my elimination.
36 min: Suetman1 (17th) sees her (AJ) flop a top pair against Meatsword who flops bottom pair and a flush draw – that gets there.

46 min: A short-stacked (SS) Douge2 (16th) doesn’t hit his flush draw against 95corolla with (33).

47 min: A SS Messingagirl1 (15th) goes with (KJ) but loses to Nahanni74 with (A7).
50 min: KingBing420 (14th) misses the final table for the first time. Nice run Lady.
53 min: BigDaddyTman (13th) – for not playing much, he is still in the hunt.
56 min: Derf-63 (12th)

1st break:
ThePunk75 4567
Meatsword 4410
95corolla 3757
LittleRedElf 3682
Jps48 2853
Absea98 2688
Sirgash 2065
BKywko1 2030
T3chlady 1875
Nahanni74 1673
Tigercub8189 400

64 min: Jps48 (11th) flops a set with (55), but ThePunk75 flops a straight (86).
67 min: Tigercub8189 (10th)
85 min: A SS BKrywko1 (9th) goes with (44) but loses the coin flip to Meatsword’s (KT) with a [T] on the flop. This happens a ton down the stretch.

88 min: A SS 95corolla (8th) sees his (JT) run into Sirgash’s (AJ).
103 min: A SS Meatsword (7th) is on the other end this time when his (KK) gets run down by ThePunk75’s (88) with an [8] on the flop.

108 min: A SS T3chlady (6th) goes with (Ad Jd) and loses to Absea98’s (A6) with a [6] on the flop. Told you. It continues too.

110 min: A SS LittleRedElf (5th) goes with (AT) but Sirgash calls with (Ks Qs) and flops a [Q].

112 min: Nahanni74 (4th) goes with (JJ) and loses to Sirgash’s (A4) with an [A] on the flop.

118 min: Absea98 (3rd) has to go with (77) and loses as ThePunk75’s (As Qs) hits an [A] on the flop.

Heads up: ThePunk75 18000 - 12000 Sirgash

2nd break:
ThePunk75 17297
Sirgash 12703

122 min: Sirgash (2nd) pushes with (J9) with a board of [J54T], but runs into ThePunk75’s (TT)!

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 9th NPP!

1st – ThePunk75 – 24 points
2nd – Sirgash – 19 points
3rd – Absea98 – 15 pts
4th – Nahanni74 – 12 pts
5th – LittleRedElf – 9 pts
6th – T3chlady – 7 pts
7th – Meatsword – 5 pts
8th – 95corolla – 4 pts
9th – BKrywko1 – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!