Friday, July 30, 2010

Douge2’s Humor Corner - XXXIII

Top Ten Country Western Songs are back again...

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman - But I Woke Up With a Few.

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

5. I'm So Miserable Without You - It's Like You're Still Here.

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

And Number One:
It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long.

Always Listen to Your Caddy…Especially Caddy #1

Faldo, now approaching his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Verde, Fla. , exactly the way the pros do it.

The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the small green that is on a small spit of land. It was something the golfer had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball had always fallen short, into the water.

Because of this, Faldo never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick, as did many other "average" golfers when negotiating very challenging holes.

Recently he went to Sawgrass to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old, cut ball as usual, and said a silent prayer.

However, before he could hit the ball, a powerful voice from above seemed to be booming out from the clouds, saying:

"Wait! Replace that old shitty ball with a brand new one."

Faldo complied, with some slight misgivings, despite the fact that this same force seemed to be implying that he was going to finally achieve his lifelong ambition.

As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again:

"Wait. Step back. Take a practice swing."

So he stepped back and took a practice swing, certain now that this heavenly force was going to make his dream come true.

The voice boomed out again:

"Take another practice swing."

Dutifully, he did. He stopped expectantly and waited ...

A long silence followed ...

Then the voice again:

"Use the old shitty ball."

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Suetman1 Wins Her 2nd NPP Tourney – Joins the 3rd Qtr and Total Points Race

She led basically from start to finish. Suetman1 took full advantage of the 15 player field – with four sitting out for almost the first hour – and hammered on the players that were playing.

Yecats423 never made an appearance (at Cedar Point) while K9isadog, ThePunk75 (son’s baseball game ran long) and xxxKdogxxx were all late and got to the table in that order.

On to the action:

2 min: Derf-63 (15th) goes with (QQ) on a flop board of all small cards [347] only to find Absea98 holding (44).

36 min: T3chlady (14th) has YET ANOTHER dose of bad luck as K9isadog shows up to bad beat her out of the tourney.

42 min: That didn’t save a short-stacked (SS) K9isadog (13th).
46 min: Pre01 (12th) pulls a Derf/T3 with (QQ) and Douge2 plays villain as his (77) trips with a [7] on the flop.

48 min: Tomservo2 cold-decked as he has the smaller full house against Absea98 in a battle of the blinds. There is usually no escape from that stuff.

52 min: Yecats423 (11th) blinds out.
53 min: A SS Tomservo2 (10th) sees his (KQ) run into Theedouble*d’s (AA).

1st break:
Suetman1 7580
Theedouble*d 3675
Douge2 2330
LittleRedElf 2225
Absea98 2195
Mikeniks-Faldo 1725
Tigercub8189 1660
ThePunk75 615
xxxKdogxxx 495

61 min: A SS ThePunk75 (9th) with (AK) can’t win the coin flip against Theedouble*d’s (88).

64 min: xxxKdogxxx (8th).
66 min: Theedouble*d (7th) sees his (AA) lose to Suetman1’s (KK) when a [K] hits the board. A lot of that trip stuff tonight.

71 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (6th) goes with (As 4s) and cannot catch Absea98’s (AQ).
83 min: A SS Douge2 (5th) has to go with (A9) and has the lead against Tigercub8189’s (A5), until a [5] hits the turn.

Now the final four have similar stacks and what looked like a short night for your host becomes a marathon. A tribute to the talent in this league by the way.

107 min: LittleRedElf’s (4th) (88) runs into Suetman1’s (TT).
115 min: Absea98 (3rd). Sorry - I missed it.

Heads up: Suetman1 14000 - 8500 Tigercub8189

2nd break:
120 min: Heads up: Suetman1 9871 - 12629 Tigercub8189
125 min: Heads up: Suetman1 15500 - 7000 Tigercub8189

128 min: Tigercub8189 (2nd) sees his (A2) run into Suetman1’s (AJ).

Congratulations to Suetman1 on her 2nd NPP win!

1st – Suetman1 – 24 points
2nd – Tigercub8189 – 19 points
3rd – Absea98 – 15 pts
4th – LittleRedElf – 12 pts
5th – Douge2 – 9 pts
6th – Mikeniks-Faldo – 7 pts
7th – Theedouble*d – 5 pts
8th – xxxKdogxxx – 4 pts
9th – ThePunk75 – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For - With Legalized On-line Poker

It’s not deemed illegal as there are holes in the laws currently. But watch out for the decline, change and slow demise of on-line poker once it becomes legal.

The definition of “legal” is the government getting a slice of the pie. Yes, exactly like a mafia or union strong arm operation – charging you a fee for “protection”. Protection - from them of course.

From the ERG blog:

“The French Online Gaming Authority, ARJEL, has given 11 licensees an online poker licence: BetClic, Bwin, Partypoker, Everest, Chilipoker, PMU, Partouche, PokerStars, Sajoo, Eurosport, and Winamax.

These companies will be taxed 2% on all cash game pots and tournament buy-ins, including re-buys and add-ons, where applicable. There is a €1 cap for cash game pots but there is no cap for tournaments. Cash games pots where there is no flop are also taxed - including when everyone folds to the big blind.

Poker companies have to choose whether to impose this tax on their customers by increasing the rake and tournament fees, or take the tax from their own margins.

Poker industry leader Pokerstars has chosen to impose everything on the players, and this has caused a big stir, even leading to a three-hour-long “strike” on Sunday evening, with players sitting down at cash-game tables and then sitting out to block the seats.

What impact would that extra 2% rake have on the poker players? First of all, it turns most winning players into losing players but from a poker site’s perspective, but that is not necessarily bad. The bread and butter for all poker sites are the net depositing players. What is bad, though, is that it gives all players a worse user experience.

Without rake, poker is a zero-sum game. The rake makes an average poker player a losing player, and an increase of the rake will make an average poker player lose their money quicker. We ran a query for one million NL Hold’em hands played on Bodog on $0.10/$0.25, $0.25/$0.50, $0.50/$1 and $1/$2 to see what effect an increased rake from 5% to 7% and an increased cap to $3.5. This is exactly the rake structure uses, but in euros. Under this structure, the rake would have increased with 36.7%. In the absence of the rake on pots without a flop, the increase would be 33.6%.

This increased price would give an average player 26.8 % less hands before he runs out of money. The “little” 2% extra rake may not sound as much, but 26.8% less entertainment paints a more troublesome picture.

Casual players typically do not understand or care about the concept of rake, so it will not have a negative effect on sign-ups but the decreased entertainment value per euro will have a significant negative effect on churn rates.

Another EU country, Sweden, chose a different path when they introduced online poker through government-owned Svenska Spel in 2006. Advised by poker professionals, they chose to offer 50% lower rake than the industry standard. The combination of this low price for poker with its Svenka Spel’s strong brand - via its 6,758 betting shops and €100m annual marketing spend – made Svenska Spel an instant success in the poker market. In 2007, it averaged 3,000–3,500 players per day, quite remarkable, especially given they only accept Swedish customers.

However, after only a few years, Svenska Spel's poker revenue is dropping, and in 2009 its net gaming revenue from poker was 22 % lower than in 2008. There are many possible explanations for this: the player pool in Sweden may not be big enough, the marketing has not been good enough or the poker boom is simply over.

It will be interesting to see how fast the French online poker market will rise and fall with the opposite price strategy, and if any poker company will manage to be profitable in that environment.” – end

I will have more opinion on this topic soon.

Government spoils everything it places its tyrannical blood-sucking hands on – and yet we still have Americans voting for more. Insanity is the only explanation that fits. – Nik Faldo

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

New Players Return ….and K9isadog Beats Them Too!!!

K9isadog notches his 5th win of the season and his 6th in NPP history to stretch his already commanding lead in the NPP Totals. Lucky for all of us chasing for NPP seats in the Finals, his total won’t count. He already won the 1st quarter seat.

We welcomed back two past players returning to the NPP felt - Nixi44 and Sirgash. It was easy to see that this husband and wife team’s poker skills have not diminished.

On to the NPP action:

23 min: A short-stacked (SS) Mistermusic5 (22nd) sees his (Tc 8c) run into Nixi44’s (JJ).
30 min: Continuing her hard luck at NPP, T3chlady (21st) sees her (QQ) run into Pre01’s (KK).

35 min: Wingsfancurt (20th) sees his (KK) lose to ThePunk75’s (AQ) when an [A] hits the turn.

43 min: Tomservo2 (19th) sees his (88) get run over by Mikeniks-Faldo’s (KK).
45 min: A (SS) LittleRedElf (18th) with (Ad 6d) can’t catch xxxKdogxxx’s (KK).
48 min: Douge2 (17th) – Missed it playing my hand.
56 min: Odds2win777 (16th) has (AA). xxxKdogxxx hits a flush with (As 2s). This is eerily similar to last week when Odds went out with exactly the same hand and a straight took him out. Weird.

59 min: A SS Theedouble*d (15th) goes with (A7) and xxxKdogxxx calls with (T8) and hits an [8] on the flop.

1st break:
xxxKdogxxx 5768
Yecats423 4185
Sirgash 3430
Mikeniks-Faldo 2978
Nixi44 2845
Funtoon 2599
Absea98 2548
Tigercub8189 2025
ThePunk75 1830
K9isadog 1481
Derf-63 1132
Suetman1 1009
Eyekall 710
Pre01 460

65 min: A (SS) Suetman1 (14th) goes with (KJ) but cannot catch her daughter-in-law, Nixi44, holding (33).

71 min: A (SS) Derf-63 (13th) goes with (Qc 7c) but cannot catch Funtoon’s (Ac Tc).
75 min: A (SS) ThePunk75 (12th) goes with (KQ) and cannot catch Eyekall’s (JJ).
80 min: A (SS) Tigercub8189 (11th) pairs his (53) with a flop of [932], only to lose to Nixi44’s (98).

85 min: I get lucky here. Two (SS)’s collide as my (A9) takes out Nixi44 (10th) holding (55) when I flop a [9]. Nice return showing Nixi.

97 min: A (SS) Pre01 (9th) loses to K9isadog’s flush. And the rush starts here!
102 min: Absea98 (8th) and K9isadog see a flop of [39J]. K9 bets it strong and Absea calls. The turn is a [Q] and the chips all hit the middle, but K9 has the bigger end of the straight. That’s two.

106 min: Yecats423 (7th) is double-teamed (twss) and loses to K9isadog’s straight. That’s three! We have seen this before this year - a run of cards and action at exactly the right time.

113 min: Sirgash (6th) sees his (KK) get run down as big stack Eyekall calls with (AJ) and hits his [A].

117 min: Eyekall (5th) now goes from the penthouse to the outhouse as he gets cold-decked by the hot hand - K9isadog. In a collision of big stacks, Eyekall goes with (55) and a flop of [653]. But unbelievably, K9 is holding (74)!!!! Ouch! Now K9isadog has a monster stack.

118 min: Funtoon (4th) goes with (AT), only to run into K9isadog’s (AQ). For those of you counting, that is now 5 of 6 eliminations by K9isadog. Just mowing them down.

2nd break:
K9isadog 21906
Mikeniks-Faldo 6059
xxxKdogxxx 5035

Davethedog showed up to sweater. Was I sitting at a poker table or a kennel???

127 min: xxxKdogxxx (3rd) comes up short as his (Ah 2h) runs into K9isadog’s (As Qs).

Heads up: K9isadog 27200 - Mikeniks-Faldo 5800

130 min: Heads up: K9isadog 23400 - Mikeniks-Faldo 9600

134 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (2nd) hits his two pair on the turn. When K9isadog moves all-in, he either has trips or hit yet another straight. Pot committed, all I can do is hope I boat. I don’t and K9 indeed has the straight.

Congratulations to K9isadog on his 6th NPP

1st – K9isadog – 24 points
2nd – Mikeniks-Faldo – 19 points
3rd – xxxKdogxxx – 15 pts
4th – Funtoon – 12 pts
5th – Eyekall – 9 pts
6th – Sirgash – 7 pts
7th – Yecats423 – 5 pts
8th – Absea98 – 4 pts
9th – Pre01 – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog! The 3rd Quarter starts next week. Time to get back in the hunt for an NPP Finals appearance.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Community Card Review - VIII

Democrats Attack American Business and American People - While Protecting Enemies of America.

Democrats have been in charge for a year and a half. And what do we have?

Government spending is at an all time high. We have record deficits - four times what it was under George Bush 43…and will be twelve times that amount by the end of Obama’s first term - and unemployment at the highest rate (14%) in 30 years – when Democrat Jimmy Carter was president.

Obama stated at the time that the Stimulus Package would cap the unemployment rate at 8%. How is that “hope and change” working out for you?

When you grow government instead of the private sector, this is what happens. And it happens every time Democrats get to enforce their policies.

Democrats are taxing everything that moves and is capable of producing jobs. The Democrats already “stimulated” the real estate, financial and leisure industries – and things are worse than ever in all three.

The Democrats have placed entire industries under government control and now threaten take over the healthcare, insurance and energy industries.

Democrats cheered when they unconstitutionally passed Obamacare that will destroy the medical field and the best medical care in the world. People’s lives will be lost and the cost of everything will increase– while shutting down the economy further.

Back in November, a lone Muslim terrorist killed 13 American soldiers and injured 30 others in an attack at Fort Hood. A week later, Obama’s Chief of Homeland Security, speaking to Arab students in the Middle East, told them that her department is doing all it can to stop any backlash to Arabs in the United States because of this attack.

Arizona is over-run with Mexican drug gangs and illegal immigration. Since the Obama Administration is an open border advocate for Democrat votes, they have done nothing. Meanwhile American citizens are being killed. Phoenix is second in the world in kidnappings behind only Mexico City.

The Governor of Arizona decided it was time to check the citizenship of every person what was stopped by police for illegal or possibly illegal activity. The Obama Administration is suing the State of Arizona.

Whose side are the Democrats on?

You don’t have to answer that. The answer is clear. Only liberals are mentally ill enough to be incapable of seeing or understanding it.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Clever Scam - Taking Advantage of Men

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.

This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. This will only become more commonplace.....

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one caught me by surprise.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.

Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.

They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.

You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start
undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also October 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

xxxKdogxxx Wins His 1st NPP Tourney

Coming back from a crushing 2nd place finish last week, Kdog proved it was no fluke by besting 16 players for the win.

We welcomed back Merhibka tonight also.

On to the action:

12 min: Theedouble*d (17th) ran into Douge2’s trip deuces.
50 min: Derf-63’s (16th) (22) ran into xxxKdogxxx’s (66). Look at the gap between DD’s exit and Derf’s! Some serious fighting for NPP points going on.

58 min: Last week’s winner Douge2 (15th) sees his (88) get run down by Tomservo2’s trip sevens.

60 min: The Break Monster does his thing as short-stacked (SS) Yecats423 (14th) sees her straight lose to SS Tigercub8189’s full house.

1st break:

Tomservo2 4150
xxxKdogxxx 3865
ThePunk75 2500
Suetman1 2365
Pre01 1995
LittleRedElf 1950
Mikeniks-Faldo 1778
T3chlady 1675
Mistermusic5 1420
Tigercub8189 1287
Absea98 1060
Merhibka 890
Funtoon 565

62 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (13th) has to go with (AK) but Tomservo2 hits his flush.
69 min: A SS Mistermusic5 (12th) goes with (A9) and Tomservo2, with the big stack correctly calls from the BB and hits a pair of tens.

70 min: Funtoon (11th) Missed it as I was recording the prior hand.
76 min: Absea98 (10th) Almost always miss the bubble hand.
85 min: A SS T3chlady’s (9th) lack of luck continues as her (AJ) sees xxxKdogxx’s (A8) hit an [8] on the flop.

86 min: A SS LittleRedElf (8th) has to try with the same hand (AJ) and gets no nub either as he cannot run down ThePunk75’s (88).

89 min: A SS Pre01 (7th) goes with (QT), but runs into ThePunk75’s (AQ).

Now it went absolutely crazy and I was still trying to win it, so my notes suffered from here on out. If anyone wants to – or can – comment on their win or demise from here on out, feel free and I will correct the record.

104 min: Merhibka (6th) gets cold-decked with (KQ) and a flop of [AQA]. xxxKdogxxx is holding (Ax) and even rivers the final [A] for quads.

105 min: A SS ThePunk75 (5th) has to go with (A4). Mikeniks-Faldo is a SS too and I call with (K9) and make a straight on the river.

115 min: A SS Suetman1 (4th) has to go with (KQ) and a flop of [K36]. The monster stack, xxxKdogxxx has to call with (A6) and hits his [A] on the river.

119 min: A SS Tomservo2 (3rd) has to try with (63) and a flop of [63A], but xxxKdogxxx is holding (Ax).

Heads up: Mikeniks-Faldo 3500 - 22000 xxxKdogxxx

120 min: With the break coming up after this hand and Mikeniks-Faldo (2nd) down to 2200 chips, xxxKdogxxx correctly moves all-in with (Ax). I look down to see (Th 6h).

So I throw myself to the mercy of the PokerStars Break Monster.

Yeah, like there ever is mercy for me on PS. But it is a clear all-in for me. I have the heart draw, a straight draw and probably two live cards to pair. But I don’t make any of it.

Congratulations to xxxKdogxxx on his 1st NPP win, and after a heartbreaking 2nd place finish last week.

1st – xxxKdogxxx – 24 points
2nd – Mikeniks-Faldo – 19 points
3rd – Tomservo2 – 15 pts
4th – Suetman1 – 12 pts
5th – ThePunk75 – 9 pts
6th – Merhibka – 7 pts
7th – Pre01 – 5 pts
8th – LittleRedElf – 4 pts
9th – T3chlady – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Community Card Review - VII

On Taxes

The Democrats now say they are intent on cracking down on wealthy tax cheats who hide assets in foreign holdings and foreign secret account.

The new law will require foreign financial institutions to snitch on Americans hiding assets or the foreign financial institution will face a 30% tax themselves.

New York Democrat, Charlie Rangel, a wealthy tax cheat who heads the House, Ways and Means Committee, is one of the Democrats pushing the new law thru. He says, “The foreign banks have to come clean or face the consequences.”

Timothy Geithner, another wealthy Democrat tax dodger says, “For too long individuals have taken advantage of the system by hiding money overseas [Ed. Note: One of the biggest foreign held fortunes belongs to the Democrat Kennedy family – FYI], while millions of families and small businesses at home pay the price.”

The state controlled media reports of this new crack down fail to mention that these Democrats – so eager to stop greedy cheaters – were themselves caught cheating, but faced no consequences whatsoever!!!

And you can be sure that the next time these two Democrats step to the microphone to tout this bill, not one member of the media will ask these two cheaters about their own “zero punishment” cheating.

On Healthcare

Orin Hatch, Republican, asked a very simple question, “This Obamacare will be the first time in American history where the federal government will mandate that citizens buy something they don’t even want. That’s not freedom. That’s not American. How is this Constitutionally sound?”

Robert Gibbs, Obama’s Press Secretary was asked, “Aren’t you concerned that Obamacare might be unconstitutional?” He replied, “No. The Obama Administration is not concerned about the unconstitutional arguments voiced by some people.”

Liberals screamed bloody murder, stating Bush’s spying on suspected terrorists calling Middle East countries unconstitutional.

Liberals screamed bloody murder until Constitutional rights were granted to terrorists at Guantanamo Bay.

Liberals quote the Constitution to incorrectly justify abortion rights and to bar the mention of God in the public square.

But as the Democrat-socialist-communists take over 1/6th of the US economy thru destroying the healthcare industry, they ignore any constitutional problems with their mandates on the American people.

If you voted for these traitors called Democrats, you are either - ignorant, mentally ill, lazy or a traitor yourself. Pick one.

Ignorance can be fixed by opening your mind and accepting these truths about Democrats.

We are just going to have to defeat - or destroy - the rest of the Democrat base to save our nation and our freedoms. Pure and simple.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Douge2’s Humor Corner – XXXXII

Democrat Dog

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog for Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

“Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.”


A handful of 7 year old children were asked 'What they thought of beer'.
Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.' --Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. ' --Melanie, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.'--Grady, 7 years old

''My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'--Toby, 7 year old

'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.--Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.'--Lilly, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they don’t taste very good.' --Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'--Shirley, 7 years old


'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.' --Jack, 7 years

Thursday, July 08, 2010

LittleRedElf Dominates on PokerStars – and Not Just on Tuesdays!

Take it away, Elf!

“Lately I've done reasonably well in some Razz tourneys and in Limit poker on PokerStars.

Faldo, I do not take notes while I am playing so my reporting is not as thorough and have that thrilling edge of your seat action sequences that you always deliver.

I sat down at the Razz tourney while waiting for the all important NPP event 15 minutes later. There were only 87 entries as there are not a lot of Razz players. Five and a half hours later I managed to finish in 2nd place and got paid about 13.5 times my entry.

Three days later I entered an afternoon Razz tourney and after 3.5 hours I won it! There were only 25 players and I received 9 times my entry back.

Five days later, I played in the 4:45 PM Razz tourney and I won that. There were only 19 entries but it still lasted a few minutes shy of 4 hours and I received 8.5 times my entry back.

Nine days later, I entered a Limit Hold'em tourney and that proved to be quite eventful. In this one there were 248 entries. I do recall being up high in the standings early and then knocked back down. Then climbing back up to the top only to get knocked to the middle around the time we got into the money places.

After more than 5.5 hours, it got down to 3 players left. After about 25 minutes of duking it out we all decided to equally chop the top 3 places. It still took 15 more minutes to finish the event with each of us receiving 35.5 times our entry back. I fell exhausted to bed at 3:15 AM.

And I have just won the 1:45 PM Razz tourney. As you can see, there were only 26 players and it lasted 4 hours. I can say that at one point in the early stages I was in last place for a while. When we got to heads up, my opponent had me 3 to 1 in chips and the back and forth action lasted 45 minutes! I got about 9.5 times my entry back.

See you all Tuesday night.” – LittleRedElf

I see a 2nd, a 1st, a 1st, a three-way split for 1st, and a 1st – all in just a couple weeks! Not to mention his resurgence on Tuesday night.

Way to go, Elf!

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Douge2 Wins in an Epic Heads Up Battle...After Besting 18 Others!

A tough night of poker for the better hands tonight it seemed. Lots of AA, KK, QQ and TT beaten….and that was just the hands Faldo played! Other people had similar fates. Such is poker sometimes.

We welcomed back Fourbetbluff and Odds2win777 to the 3rd quarter action. They got the usual warm NPP reception tonight too. Wingsfancurt missed tonight as he is in Las Vegas to catch some WSOP action.

On to the NPP action:

17 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (20th) sees his (KK) lose to ThePunk75’s (Ah 3h) flush on the turn. That was the final nail in my “big hands lose” coffin.

22 min: Fourbetbluff (19th) missed it watching the one below.
23 min: A short-stacked (SS) Theedouble*d (18th) (A6) can’t catch Meatsword’s (JJ).
29 min: Mistermusic5 (17th) sees his (AA) run into a [T] on the flop with Tigercub8189 holding (TT).

36 min: Odds2win777 (16th) has (AA). Douge2 calls with (42), with a [2] on the flop, and hits a [4] on the turn.

Like I said, big hands had trouble tonight. Of course I got them tonight. But at least I had company.

37 min: Meatsword (15th) misses his flush draw (Ks 5s) and Douge2’s (99) hang on.
38 min: Tomservo2 (14th)
40 min: Derf-63 (13th)
45 min: Funtoon (12th)
53 min: Eyekall (11th) sees his (44) lose to T3chlady’s (Ad 3d) with a [A8A] flop.
54 min: Tigercub8189 (10th) takes his brother’s bubble spot.
55 min: A SS K9isadog (9th) goes with (QT) but can’t catch Yecats423’s (AA). They held up!!! The table gave PokerStars a standing ovation.

59 min: The break monster got LittleRedElf (8th) as his (88) loses the coin flip to xxxKdogxxx’s (Ac Kc) with an [A] on the river.

1st break:
Douge2 9359
xxxKdogxxx 7875
Yecats423 3396
T3chlady 3375
ThePunk75 2415
Suetman1 1820
Absea98 1760

68 min: A SS Suetman1 (7th) loses to Douge2’s flush.
77 min: A SS ThePunk75 (6th) goes with (KK) and gets quadruple-teamed, losing to xxxKdogxxx’s straight.

80 min: Absea98 (5th) goes with (99) and loses to Yecats423’s flush.
89 min: Yecats423 (4th) sees her (AQ) lose to xxxKdogxxx’s (A9) when the flop comes [998].

97 min: A SS T3chlady’s (3rd) comes up short as her (K9) runs into xxxKdogxxx’s (KJ).

Heads up: Douge2 14000 - xxxKdogxxx 16000

Get ready for the marathon!!!

100 min: Heads up: Douge2 15000 - xxxKdogxxx 15000
105 min: Heads up: Douge2 18300 - xxxKdogxxx 11700
110 min: Heads up: Douge2 17200 - xxxKdogxxx 12800

113 min: They see a flop of [4d 5d 3c]. Kdog bets and Doug calls. The turn is a [Qh]. Kdog makes a pot size bet. Doug goes into a think tank, before re-raising the pot! Kdog’s turn to tank, but he eventually folds.

Ok, what did you guys have? I put Doug on a double draw and Kdog on a pair of queens. That is my guess.

115 min: Heads up: Douge2 21000 - xxxKdogxxx 9000
120 min: Heads up: Douge2 16000 - xxxKdogxxx 14000
125 min: Heads up: Douge2 15600 - xxxKdogxxx 14400
130 min: Heads up: Douge2 21000 - xxxKdogxxx 9000
135 min: Heads up: Douge2 23700 - xxxKdogxxx 6300

137 min: Kdog gets back into the match as his (AJ) hits a [J] on the flop to beat Doug’s (55). The match continued.

140 min: Heads up: Douge2 17000 - xxxKdogxxx 13000
145 min: Heads up: Douge2 16800 - xxxKdogxxx 13200
150 min: Heads up: Douge2 19800 - xxxKdogxxx 10200

152 min: Kdog is down to about 4000 and both players hit full houses! Doug has 4’s over 8’s and Kdog has 4’s over 9’s!!!! We continue!

154 min: xxxKdogxxx (2nd) finally has to go with (8h 3h) but Douge2’s (99) holds.

Congratulations to both players for the longest heads up finish in NPP history! This is why the NPP Heads Up Tourney is always a classic!

Congratulations to Douge2 on his fine win! This is his 2nd of the year and his 4th overall.

1st – Douge2 – 24 points
2nd – xxxKdogxxx – 19 points
3rd – T3chlady – 15 pts
4th – Yecats423 – 12 pts
5th – Absea98 – 9 pts
6th – ThePunk75 – 7 pts
7th – Suetman1 – 5 pts
8th – LittleRedElf – 4 pts
9th – K9isadog – 3 pts

Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog! The 3rd Quarter starts next week. Time to get back in the hunt for an NPP Finals appearance.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Happy Birthday to Our Country!

Here are some interesting quotes to read on various subjects concerning our nation. These quotes have been researched thoroughly and are 100% accurate.

On The Constitution
“When government fails to protect rights or itself threatens them, the people have a right and duty to alter or abolish it.” (This is in the Declaration of Independence). -THOMAS JEFFERSON – 3rd President of the United States

“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” - BENJAMIN FRANKLIN – Founding Father

“If the personal freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution inhibit the government's ability to govern the people, we should look to limit those guarantees.” - WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON – 42nd President of the United States

On our Freedoms
“It may be impracticable that our distinctively American experiment of individual freedom should go on.” - DAVID HILL – Senator, NY - Democrat

“Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.” - GEORGE BERNARD SHAW – Writer

“Free people, remember this maxim: we may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost.” - JEAN JACQUES ROUSSEAU – Philosopher

“We must stop thinking of the individual, and start thinking about what is best for society.” - HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON – NY Senator and former 1st Lady, Democrat

“The purpose of government is to rein in the rights of the people.” - WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON – 42nd President of the US - Democrat

“Liberals have this pathetic little habit of dealing with people as members of groups, rather than as individuals. The Constitution and our Bill of Rights grant no rights whatsoever to any groups. All rights are conferred on individuals. There is an individual, not a group, right to freedom of speech. Ditto for freedom of religion.” - NEAL BOORTZ – Writer and columnist

“Most people want security in this world, not liberty.” - H. L. MENCKEN – Writer

“It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once.” - DAVID HUME – Philosopher

“Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why would we let them have ideas.” - JOSEF STALIN – Russian Communist Dictator

“You know the one thing that is wrong in this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say.” - WILLIAM CLINTON – 42nd President of the US, Democrat

“All government, of course, is against liberty.” - H. L. MENCKEN – Writer

“The price of liberty is eternal vigilance and that the natural tendency is for government to grow and liberty to yield.” - THOMAS JEFFERSON – 3rd President of the US

On Liberalism
“The liberals who run these big cities always have their excuses. They will tell you they are not getting enough federal aid. With liberalism, the problem is always somewhere else. But the ruse is running thin. Liberalism, socialism, and utopianism make empty promises to the world, but offer only a dead end. Capitalism, though not promising prosperity to all, greatly improves the lot of most and offers opportunity to all. Liberalism suggests that all answers lie in government intervention.” - RUSH LIMBAUGH – Conservative radio talk show host

“The liberal crusader is focused on the negative. He is trying to stamp out all evil with a coercive hand of big government, and winds up destroying much of what is good in the process.” - EDWIN FEULNER – President of the Heritage Foundation

On Capitalism versus Socialism/Communism/Democrat Policies
“They will come to learn in the end, at their own expense, that it is better to endure competition for rich customers than to be invested with monopoly over impoverished customers.” - FREDERIC BASTIAT – Philosopher

“I would think that if you understood what Communism was, you would hope, you would pray on your knees, that we would someday become Communists.” - JANE FONDA - Actress

“Long live Fidel Castro, long live Che Guevara!” - JESSE JACKSON – Reverend and Civil Rights Leader

“A society that puts equality – in a sense of economic equality of outcome – ahead of freedom, will end up with neither equality or freedom.” - MILTON FRIEDMAN – Economist

End of quotes.

Source of quotes: A book written by Nik Faldo called “Liberal Quicksand”, as yet unpublished. This book was started in 2002 and finished in 2004.

What is scary to me is the quotes of Bill Clinton and past liberal icons. They spoke moderately as compared to the liberals in control today. When you have the current president of the United States of America speaking of the wonders of socialism/communism – to a group of world socialists and communists – and they basically tell him “your policies don’t work”, we have a problem.

Happy Birthday to the best country the world has ever seen. I pray it is not one of – or the last one.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

ThePunk75 is on Fire – Two Final Tables in One Day – AGAIN!

U da man Punk! Take it away:
“Returned to the scene of the crime from last week to pull off another double final table day. Two final tables at the Electric Stick's 1pm $20 15k and then again in the $100 25k games. And no, this isn’t the same report from last week but it’s pretty close.

In the 1pm tourney I got there a smidge late and settled for an alternate spot, they opened another table quickly I took my seat. But at first it was like I wasn’t even there and I was card dead for what seemed like forever.

Walked into a monster at the 300/600 level. In SB I get AA, a middle position limp then a raise to 2000 from button. I re-pop it to 5000 preflop. Middle Position calls and so does button. Flop come JJ5 (2 clubs). First to act I fire 10k (nearly all what I have left), one fold, then to button who calls. Turn comes the Ace of clubs. Bingo. I check. Button pushes all in. I snap call and can’t turn over the full house fast enough. He shows KK. That left me in cruise control for awhile, and keeps a relative healthy stack to the final table. I battled my way down to 5th place when I had KJ UTG and shoved and was called by the BB with what else but AA. I also chopped a "last longer" side pot 4 ways. So onto the 4pm.

Since the 1pm tourney ran a little longer, the 4pm had already started and I was again an alternate. Another table was opened and the tourney was closed at 36 players. Much like the 1pm, started slow then once again looked down and saw AA. Blinds 300/600. UTG min raised to 1200, all folds to me from mid-late pos. I reraise to 3500, folds around to UTG who calls. Flop 256. He checks, I bet out 12k. He pushes all in. I snap call, he shows KK and I double up.

After a table change, I doubled up again on a hand that was probably misplayed by another player. Blinds 1/2 k. UTG +1 min raised to 4 k, all folds to me in BB with A8. I call. Flop comes AJ5. I check, he says "same bet" and throws 4 k out. At that point I’m feeling like he has me with a better kicker but I call to see a turn. An 8 hits and I’ve hit my two pair. I check again. He bets 5k, I raise to 15k, he calls. River is a five pairing the board which really helped me. I shove the rest of my stack 18k in. He calls, shows AQ.

Right before the final table was set; I was actually all in with 7-2. In a battle of the blinds (I was BB) the flop cam 2J8 with 2 hearts. My 7-2 was in hearts and I shoved when SB checked. He folded and I said I can’t believe I was just all in with 7-2.

Final Table was set a couple of hands later and the play tighten up with just 4 places paid. Chipped up with A10 in BB and punished 3 limpers with an all in. In a hand that if played any other way I would have been eliminated I somehow was able to survive. I was UTG with 99. I just call the blind, UTG+1 also calls, the SB completes and BB checks. Flop comes 585. SB checks. BB bets out 25 k. Huh I think to myself I ask him how much do you have left? He has around 50k after that. If he had an eight, would he of shoved? Thinking since no one raised and a rag board we all had air. After I minute I fold. UTG+1 then raises all in. BB calls and has him covered. UTG+1 shows pocket 10's. BB shows J5. I knew BB had to have that 5. And I think to myself how lucky am I that I just limped in with my 9's. If I had raised preflop, the next player with the 10's certainly would have pushed in, if not preflop after the flop and I would have been out.

Couple of hands later I was UTG with 77 and shoved for my last 80k or so. A big stack called me with AJ and my sevens held. Very next hand I look down at AJ and raise to 30k (blinds 5/10k) the player who just doubled me up then pushes in for 73k. I call for the 43k more, even though I know I probably behind. I say "I have your hand" to him and he shows AQ. Great. But a jack hit the flop and there wasn't any help for him on the turn or river. So now I’ve gone from a relative SS to a chip leader in a matter of a couple hands. At 6 players left an even chop is agreed on and the top 2 would play for the remaining money.

With the chop out of the way and every getting paid now the play can loosen up. And it does as 2 players go out relatively fast. At four players, I’m in BB look down at AA, one player shoves, another calls. Hmmm... I push my stack in. That gets the caller to fold, and my AA is against KJ. Aces hold. Down to 3 players another chop is agreed on, and the remaining pot is now split up 3 ways. I had the chip lead at that point, but after 9 hours of play, 2 tournaments, and barely anything to eat that day I was ready to head home.” – Punk

Outstanding job Punk!