Wednesday, December 13, 2017

LittleRedElff Wins NPP 2017 Player of the Year!

Just another NPP groupie waiting in the NPP lounge for the Elf!
LittleRedElf can do miracles at the poker table - AND the bowling alley simultaneously. LRE beat a field of eight, including Faldo heads up - while competing in his bowling league at the same time!
Nothing to it for the Elf!

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - KingBing420
Bubble - Derf-63

Not only did LittleRedElf win for the 8th time this season, but he won the NPP Player of the Year title for the 1st time!
And Congratulations to LittleRedElf for his NPP leading 39th win of all time!

Thank you to all the players at NPP for another great season. See you all in 2018 when we will start again. To all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy New Year!

And now a safety tip from Douge2 for this holiday season:

Friends,
Please be careful with your drinking and driving this holiday season.

At my office Christmas party, I got a little carried away with the free alcohol. I started with a few cocktails, then a few beers and then as the night went on, a few shots with my favorite work partners.

I was wise enough to know that I had a few too many, so I took a cab home.
It was a good thing too, because the police had set up a roadblock looking for people that were over the legal limit. They waived my cab right on thru.

This was very fortunate for me because I had never driven a cab before!
But unfortunately, I don't remember where I got it and now that it is in my garage, I don't know how I am going to get rid of it!

So be careful out there! - An NPP Community Safety Tip

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Derf-63 Wins the 2017 Tournament of Champions! - Final Line Up Set

Derf-63's poker skills knocked the pants off of Moran Atlas.
Derf-63 wins the Tournament of Champions in fine style. It's one thing to win a weekly tournament, but it is quite another to win it on a night where you are facing nothing but fellow winners.

Derf-63 won for the 7th time this season. Nice job Derf!

And the 3rd place finish awards the last seat in the NPP Final to Theedouble*d!

2nd - Absea98
3rd - Theedouble*d - Last seat taken!
Bubble - LittleRedElf

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 36th NPP victory.

Ok,  the line-up is set for next week's NPP Final with eight players!

Tomservo2
LittleRedElf
Douge2
KingBing420
Derf-63
Mikeniks-Faldo
Absea98
Theedouble*d

Good luck to everyone!




Friday, December 01, 2017

Wwwsatando Wins for the 1st Time in 2017 - TOC Seats and Most of the NPP Final Seats Decided

Wwwsatando had one goal in mind this week.
Wwwsatando used a very aggressive approach against a group of very scared NPP'ers vying for the final seats in the NPP Finals and possibly the last seat in the NPP Tournament of Champions. It worked well as Satan picked up that TOC seat for himself!

2nd - KingBing420
3rd - Douge2
4th - LittleRedElf
5th - Absea98
Bubble - T3chlady
Congratulations to Wwwsatando on his 3rd NPP win and moving up the NPP Walk of Fame!

We had twelve winners of the 48 regular season tournaments - all of who have seats in the NPP Tournament of Champions next week! The players with the (&) after their name can still win a seat in the NPP Final by being the highest place finisher of the non-qualifiers in the TOC. One seat left!

Tomservo2
LittleRedElf
Douge2
KingBing420
Derf-63
Mikeniks-Faldo
Rjmech - &
Theedouble*d - &
Absea98
Sanster89 - &
Wwwsatando - &
Greggst49 - &

Here are the current NPP Player of the Year Finalists!

Tomservo2 - Quarter 1 winner
Derf-63- Quarter 2 winner
KingBing420 - Quarter 3 winner
Douge2 - Quarter 4 winner
LittleRedElf - Total points seat
Mikeniks-Faldo- Total points seat
Absea98 - Total points seat
&&&&& - TOC Winner or highest finish of non qualifiers

See you all at the felt next Tuesday for the NPP Tournament of Champions!

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Tomservo2 Wins His 10th Tournament of the Season! One Reg Season Week Left!

Tomservo2 is beating the pants off of us!
Tomservo2 continues to pound the NPP regulars - even though he doesn't have to. He is probably just softening us up for the Tournament of Champions and the NPP Finals coming up.

2nd - T3chlady
3rd - Greggst49
Bubble - LittleRedElf

There is only one week left in the NPP regular season. We still have an exciting race for the last seat in the Final. And there is still one last chance to qualify for the Tournament of Champions if you have not won a tournament yet this year. So plenty on the line next week.

Be here

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 31st NPP victory!

 Ok, Now for a reality check as to what is most important in life:

 In 1923, Who Was:

1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their
days. Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what
ultimately became of them. The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company.
Charles Schwab - died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company,
Edward Hopson - Went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE,
Richard Whitney - was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator.

Arthur Cooger - Died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of The Bank of International Settlement, Shot himself.

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street,
Cosabee Livermore - Also committed suicide

However,

In that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion
And the winner of the most important golf tournament,
The US Open was Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92,
Died in 1999 at the age of 95.
He was financially secure
At the time of his death.

The Moral: Screw  work. Play golf.


And speaking of that:

 



Thursday, November 16, 2017

Faldo Wins to Qualify for the Tournament of Champions

Women are always happier doing what they are born to do.
The elite poker players of NPP allowed an interloper to qualify for the Tournament of Champions.

This is similar to allowing a 22-handicap Monday night golf league golfer qualify for the Masters.
Faldo wins a tournament - which means Hell froze over or ....Bigbrimar bought a beer on the golf course.....or Beerhog had a drive hit the fairway.

Notice Faldo did not say it stayed on the fairway, just that it hit the fairway.

2nd - GMOGolf
3rd - Rachael0388
Bubble - Absea98

Now for some divine intervention:



Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture.
As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below. Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. – Sister Barbara,” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man’s attention and tossed it out the window to him.
The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.
The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills. “What’s this?” she asked.
“That’s the $8,000 you have coming Sister,” he replied. “Don’t Despair paid 80-to-1.”

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Douge2 and LittleRedElf Do it Again! - Both Win #8 of the Year!

LRE and Douge2's fans are cheering too hard.
Douge2 and LittleRedElf continue to dominate the 4th quarter of the NPP League. Both had twelve person fields to overcome.

Douge2's pointing victims:

2nd - Tomservo2
3rd - T3chlady
4th - GMOgolf
Bubble - 95corolla

And LittleRedElf's pointing victims:

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - T3chlady
4th - GMOgolf
Bubble - Douge2

Congratulations to Douge2 on his 30th NPP win!

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 39th NPP win!


Ok, so what does Faldo want to talk about today? How about a couple of Faldo's philosophical observations?"

Looking back over Faldo's 6+ decades of life, Faldo spent close to 90% of earnings on booze, softball, hockey, golf, fishing, chess, poker, and women. The rest of the money Faldo just wasted.

Faldo's last three rules to live by:

1) If it flies, floats, or f--ks, it's cheaper to rent it!

2) If it's got tits or tires, you're gonna have problems with it.

3) In the poker game of life, women are the rake.

Also this just came into the NPP helpful hints for women email:

Dear Faldo,

I want to get my boob size increased to two or three sizes bigger than they currently are. I want to do this to spice up my husband and my love life. Things seemed to have slowed down and he seemed to have lost interest. Enclosed is a picture of me and you can see that I am pretty, but my boobs are just not very big. 
The problem is we are not financially well off and the cost of the surgery is more than we can afford at this time.
Do you know of an inexpensive way to make my boobs bigger in order to get my husband revved up again? Thank you!
Signed, Wanting Sex Again With Hubby

Dear Wanting,
You are indeed a very pretty lady. You should be able to get your boobs at least that size bigger you wanted, and I suspect even bigger! You can also do this very inexpensively and it will be much Much safer than surgery.

Simply rub toilet paper between your breasts 5 to 6 times a day. Your breasts will slowly start getting bigger and bigger, until they are the size you desire.
That is all there should be to it. 
From your picture, this method seems to have had the exact same effect on your butt.
Glad to help out.

Signed,
Faldo

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

An Elf and Douge2 groupie take a dip together.
Well two of NPP's best continue their winning ways. First LittleRedElf wins:

2nd - Wwwsatando
3rd - GMOgolf
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Tomservo



 Then Douge2 returned to the Winner's Circle for the 3rd time in four tournaments:

2nd -- Theedouble*d
3rd - Absea98
4th - KingBing420
Bubble - LittleRedElf



Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 38th NPP win.
Congratulations to Douge2 on his 29th NPP win.


Now for some more truth from Faldo:


Liberal Logic

A liberal news anchor making $12 million a year tells the news audience - with a straight face - that a business owner- employing people but clearing $1 a million a year for himself is greedy and selfish.

Liberals will say that a business owner clearing $1 a million a year - while providing $50 million worth of jobs for his employees is selfish and greedy, while a liberal celebrity making $50 million a year but gives $100,000 a year to an animal charity is a selfless human being.

A liberal will tell you that a CEO receiving a $1 million a year salary is overpaid but a Hollywood actor making $10 million a picture is worth every penny.

The liberal media will tell you that its obscene that Mrs. Trump spend $5000 of her own money on a gown, but it wasn't newsworthy at all that Mrs. Obama spent $500,000 of taxpayer money on just one of many vacations in one year.

The liberal media told you that Obama with a short single term in the Senate had the experience to be president, but Dan Quayle with multiple terms in the House and Senate did not have the experience to be Vice President.

Liberals will tell you that oil companies are greedy for making $.08 cents a gallon while the federal government makes $.13 cents on the same gallon.

Liberals will tell you that the fact that the Communist Party always endorses the Democrat candidates - means nothing; but the NRA endorsing Republicans makes them Nazis.

Liberals will tell you that illegal gatherings by Occupy Wall Street, Black Lives Matters, are ok and they are couragious heros for the 1st amendment and we should allow them to loot and riot. But a legal, peaceful demonstrations by an anti-abortion group or a speech by a conservative should be stopped by any means - legal or illegal, including the use of violence.

Liberals will tell you that swearing and nudity on television is fine but someone wearing a cross should be prohibited because someone might be offended.

Liberals say that the Religious Right are forcing their beliefs on everyone but the liberals want taypayer funds and unconstitutionaly laws to force businesses to fund abortions and participate in same sex marriages.

Liberals say burning the American Flag is protected freedom of speech but displaying an American flag is offensive.

Liberals will tell you a chicken or a tree has a soul, but an unborn baby is just a blob of tissue.

Liberals told us that everything from Hillary's past was not relevant but everything from Trump's past was relevant.