Friday, November 29, 2013

Don’t Fret About League Suspensions – Just a Precaution

Three cheers for the NPP and TOC Finalists!
I guess PokerStars sends out a letter stating you have been suspended from the Niks PokerPalace league. Well, don’t fret it.

Our next tournament on Tuesday, December 3, 2013, is the NPP Final. Seven people qualified for that. In past years, members have forgotten it’s the final and registered for the tournament. The only way Faldo can make sure only the qualifiers get in, is to suspend everyone else.

If you want to watch the final, let Faldo know and I will re-instate you. Just don’t register for the Final unless you are a finalist.

Now remember, on Tuesday, December 10, 2013, is the NPP Tournament of Champions. Anyone who won a tournament in NPP in 2013 is eligible for that. So just those players will be “activated” for that.

Sorry for the email, but it is unavoidable. Again, if you want to watch the Final or the Tournament of Champions, just let Faldo know.

If you are a NPP Finalist and cannot play in the Final, please let Faldo know and I will get the next Total Points player in as a replacement.

All of you tournament winners – be sure to keep December 10 open.

All the rest of my poker friends – see you January 7, for the start of the 21st year of Niks Poker Palace!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Derf-63 Clinches a Seat in the NPP Final - With Style!

The Lady is just floored by Derf-63 poker skills!
It is always an exciting finish to the season, even with the drama done before the final card.
Derf-63 wins the final regular season tournament and clinches a seat in the NPP final. That’s the way you do it – leaving nothing to chance.

I will leave the rest of the story in the action summary.
On to the action:
10 min: 95corolla (12th) goes with (99) but Derf-63 has (KK)! Ouch!
26 min: A short-stacked (SS) Mikeniks-Faldo  (11th) has to try with (QJ) but K9isadog  has (AK).
35 min: A SS Absea98 (10th) loses to Wingsfancurt’s pair of Nines. Now Absea98 has to hope his pursuers get cut down. But four of the nine are pursuers.
51 min: Wingsfancurt (9th) two pair runs into K9isadog’s bigger two pair.
52 min: Suetman123 (8th) two pair runs into Tomservo2’s bigger two pair.
54 min: Tigercub8189 (7th) pair of Jacks loses to Derf-63’s pair of Kings.

Now it is looking bleak for Absea98. Four of the six left are pursuers.
1st break:
K9isadog    6737
Tomservo2     6226
Derf-63   3577
Pre01   1100
LittleRedElf     240
Theedouble*d    120
61 min: Theedouble*d (6th) blinds out.
62 min:  LittleRedElf (5th) has (AA) blinds out.
It’s now over for Absea98 as all the seats are taken. The last three are Pre01 (4th quarter win), and then Derf-63 and K9isadog win the Total Points seat. Congratulations to all qualifiers.

80 min: Tomservo2 (4th) missed it – visitor to the home.
90 min: Pre01 (3rd) missed it.
102 min: A SS K9isadog (2nd) goes with (Q8) but Derf-63 has (AJ).

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 5th NPP win of the year and his 10th overall!
1st – Derf-63
2nd – K9isadog
3rd – Pre01
4th – Tomservo2
5th – LittleRedElf
6th – Theedouble*d
7th – Tigercub8189
8th – Suetman123
9th – Wingsfancurt
10th – Absea98
11th – Mikeniks-Faldo
12th – 95corolla
The 4th Quarter Standings and Total Point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Rjmech Continues to Dominate NPP

Anna Benson says "Tops off to RJ!" Uh...its hats off. Nevermind, this is better.
Note: Faldo was absent due to a power outage. Apparently 10 mile an hour winds gave the hamster running on the DTE Energy power wheel a heart attack. More on those criminals in another post.

T3chlady graciously agreed to take poker notes this evening.

“Rjmech wins his 7th tournament of the year! Rjmech is proving that being successful in poker is not luck. But then again, NPP is loaded with players that prove that.

Absea98 hangs on to the 4th quarter lead with one round left. It is only a two man race as Pre01 has the only chance to catch Absea98.

In the Total Points race, 95corolla, Absea98, Derf-63, K9isadog, LittleRedElf, Lump2 and Pre01 still can win a seat. When Absea98 or Pre01 win the 4th quarter seat, that opens up one of the two Totals seat for someone else. It’s going to be a fantastic finish as always!

5 min:  Douge2 (Ace high) loses to Derf-63 (AA).

18 min: Lump2 is escorted to the door by K9isadog. Both hit a K to pair the board but Lump had a lower kicker.

20 min:  95Corolla loses with 33 against Theedouble*d who makes two pair.

28 min: A very SS Wingsfancurt is ousted by Suetman123 who hits two pair (QQ 55) against Ace high.

32 min: Absea98 loses with KKK against K9isadog's flush.

34 min:  Tigercub8189’s two pair loses to Theedouble*d's trips 555.

51 min: Derf-63 is out when Derf, Theedouble*d and Pre01 all battle. Pre01 gets the main pot with 222. DD gets the side pot with QQ. Derf had TT.

55 Suetman123 out by Rjmech who was ahead all the way when his 99 hit a set and suetman had 77.

Break 1

Theedouble*d 7665

K9isadog 4520

Pre01 4087

Rjmech 3693

T3chlady 1785

LittleRedElf 400

Tomservo2 350

66 mi: LittleRedElf short stacked with 66 pushes and loses to Theedouble*d's two pair AA JJ.

67 min: Tomservo2 is blinded out.

88 min: Theedouble*d pushes but doesn't connect when Pre01 shows up with two pair AA 55. The board had 55.

100 min:  A SS T3chlady pushes with KJ, didn't hit and Rjmech makes a set with his 555.

105 min: One memorable hand was K9isadog who's trip 3's fill up with 10s but Rjmech had pocket 10s and makes the bigger full house!!

113 min: K9isadog pushed with JT but Pre01 pairs his Q and wins.

Break 2

Pre01 11381

Rjmech 11109

That's when the steamroller cranks up the engine and starts rolling. It didn't take long.

123 min: Pre02    5251     -     Rjmech    15149

125 min: Rjmech wins when he pairs his J and Pre01 pairs his 5 with a pair of 33's on the board. Rjmech two pair JJ 33. Pre01 two pair 55 33.”

Congratulations to Rjmech on his 12th NPP win.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Is it Faldo or the Rest of the World that is Off?

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice, hit her head and get knocked out!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

A bum asked me if I had a buck so he could get a cup of coffee. I said, "Sure. Do you have change for a $100 bill?" Some people are just ungrateful. Do you know he took a swing at me?

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?

My doctor looks just like a young Vanna White - only hotter! But I have to find a new eye doctor now. I thought it would speed things up if I got naked for the examination BEFORE she told me to.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You're obviously not listening."

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to hustle to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

My new girlfriend I'm having an affair with..... thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

On my college entrance exam, they asked where are women found to have naturally curly hair.
I guess Africa was the correct answer.

One of the other questions that I missed on my college entrance exam was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Mexicans and Blacks is not the correct answer.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

The Red Cross have just knocked at my door and asked if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said I would love to, but my garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Wanting to impress the young lady behind registration desk when I checked into my hotel on a recent business trip, I said, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard."

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Unsolicited Truth About Obamacare From an Independent Family Man

The US Constitution and our Bill of Rights look far worse right now.
Faldo was simply resting prior to the Tuesday Poker tournament. A friend texted me and another buddy to say he was attending a seminar on Obamacare to learn how to apply and what will be required to do so. He was going to share his knowledge of this new law with us.

As a professional financial planner, he is well versed at cutting thru the lawyer-speak and deciphering what is ‘the real deal’. Faldo will let him take it from here. Well, as much as Faldo will let anyone.
Financial Planner “ZZ” – text to two older friends: I am going to a speaker on Obamacare tonight. I will let you old timers know what I find out.
Faldo: It is called socialism and communism healthcare. If the speaker is for it, tell him Faldo says he is a crook and a traitor.
“ZZ”: Even communism has rules. Better to know what they are.
Faldo: No, you defeat it and sabotage it. Or you are a sheep and part of the problem. Ask that son of a bitch if he signed up for it yet.
“ZZ”: The problem is work ethic. For some reason the majority of the country just want handouts. I don’t see that changing.
“ZZ”: Guys, I apologize. I was trying to be open minded about this until I knew the facts. After sitting thru a two hour seminar, I can now say this law is a DISASTER!

“ZZ”: This will affect folks on medicare, so you need to bolster your savings enough to pay for substantially higher medical costs for the next two years Elmo (Faldo note: Elmo is retired on a fixed income).
“ZZ”: It could mean you will have to take a part time job or cut your budget. I can’t believe how horrible this law is.
“ZZ”: You are both friends of mine, and I am worried for you. If you are not educated on this subject, you better get yourself educated. This is going to have a significant impact on all American families and neither of you are the healthiest (Faldo note: or wealthiest) in America.
“ZZ”: I’m going to sit down with my wife and discuss our options this weekend. This is terrifying with a new baby on the way.
Faldo: I love the fact that government workers, and big Democrat contributors are exempt, given waivers or premium adjustments, while everyone else suffers with this. Just remember when you are going in for surgery or even taking medicine given to you in the hospital, it is your government now giving to you – and not your doctor.
All of you Democrat retirees voted for your own euthanizing. Good thinking, as usual from the Demcorat voter.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

T3chlady Wins Her 1st NPP Tourney of 2013

Ana Marquez has nothing on our Techlady!
T3chlady (you may pronounce it Techlady) already has a seat in the NPP final. But now she also has a seat in the Tournament of Champions. Way to go Lady!

Absea98 picked up even more points tonight. He can be caught but it is not going to be easy for his pursuers of Derf-63, Pre01 and Tomservo2.

The last two weeks as always – will tell the tale.

We welcome a new player – Ali19552007, a friend of Rjmech’s. Welcome to NPP Ali.

Just a note to tell you that your host will miss the next tournament. Faldo has to attend a family function and will miss next week. But results will be posted the next day.

On to the action!
15 min:  Tomservo2 (15th)
26 min: Derf-63 (14th)
32 min: Rjmech (13th)
40 min: LittleRedElf (12th)
49 min: 95corolla (11th)
54 min: Douge2 (10th) Blinds out.
55 min: Ali19552007 (9th) goes with (AA) and runs into Lump2’s full house.
1st break:
Theedouble*d    5135
Mikeniks-Faldo    3415
T3chlady    3305
Absea98    3120
Suetman123    2895
Wingsfancurt    2680
Lump2    1010
Tigercub8189    940
66 min: Tigercub8189 (8th) runs into Absea98’s flush.
68 min: A short-stacked (SS) Lump2 (7th) loses to Absea98’s two pair.
78 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (6th) goes with (KK) but Theedouble*d spikes an [A] with (AdQd).
83 min: Suetman123 (5th) Missed it getting tea for my cold.
95 min: A SS Absea98 (4th) goes with (22) but loses to Theedouble*d’s (JT) when a [J] hits the river.
100 min: Wingsfancurt (3rd) Missed it – pit stop.
Heads up:        Theedouble*d    1550g0    -      T3chlady     7000
105 min:          Theedouble*d    12500    -      T3chlady     10000
110 min:  Theedouble*d (2nd) runs into T3chlady’s pair of Kings.
Congratulations to T3chlady on her 4th NPP win!
1st – T3chlady
2nd – Theedouble*d
3rd – Wingsfancurt
4th – Absea98
5th – Suetman123
6th – Mikeniks-Faldo
7th – Lump2
8th – Tigercub8189
9th – Ali19552007
10th – Douge2
11th – 95corolla
12th – LittleRedElf
13th – Rjmech
14th – Derf-63
15th – Tomservo2
The 4th Quarter Standings and Total Point Standings are on the right side of the blog!

Friday, November 08, 2013

How to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket - Step 1

In the immortal words of Elvis Presley in the song, "My Way" - "Sometimes I bit off more than I could chew."

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Rjmech Wins Two in a Row!

Rjmech wins double....and raises you a double.
And that makes four this quarter! That makes six for the year, giving him the lead in that department. Needless to say, he would be winning this quarter, except he already won his seat in Quarter 2.
Absea98 still leads the 4th quarter, but Pre01 and Tomservo2 are still in easy striking distance with three rounds left. Others can catch also….by catching fire and quickly.
On to the action:
14 min:  Douge2 (15th)
24 min: 95corolla (14th)
28 min: Absea98 (13th) Missed it playing a hand.
31 min: Wingsfancurt (12th) Runs into Mikeniks-Faldo’s flush.
48 min: LittleRedElf (11th) Blinds out.
50 min: K9isadog (10th) Blinds out.
1st break:
Derf-63    4165
Pre01    3635
Rjmech    3215
T3chlady    3155
Mikeniks-Faldo    3000
Tomservo2    1930
Tigercub8189    1755
Suetman123    1605
Sanster89    40
62 min: Sanster89 (9th) Blinds out. Nines go crazy now!
69 min: Derf-63 (8th) has to go with (Ah Th) but Pre01 has (99).
72 min: A short-stacked (SS) Suetman123 (7th) loses to Tigercub8189’s straight.
73 min: A SS Tomservo2 (6th) loses to Pre01’s trip Nines.
87 min: T3chlady (5th) goes with (AQ) but Pre01 has (99).
89 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (4th) goes with (A8) but loses to Rjmech’s (Q9) when a [9] hits the flop.
105 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (3rd) goes with (AJ) (72%) and Rjmech calls with (J9) (26%) and hits the [9] on the flop.
Heads up:        Rjmech    16000    -      Pre01     6500
109 min:  Pre01 (2nd) runs into Rjmech’s (AK) and a [K] on the flop.
Congratulations to Rjmech on his 14th NPP win!
1st – Rjmech
2nd – Pre01
3rd – Mikeniks-Faldo
4th – Tigercub8189
5th – T3chlady
6th – Tomservo2
7th – Suetman123
8th – Derf-63
9th – Sanster89
10th – K9isadog
11th – LittleRedElf
12th – Wingsfancurt
13th – Absea98
14th – 95corolla
15th – Douge2
The 4th Quarter Standings and Total Point Standings are on the right side of the blog!

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Three Public Service Announcements from the Democrat Party

Obama reaching out to the US Taxpayer. Can't say he didn't.
Learn how to make millions from the best real estate expert in the US Senate.
“Hello, I’m Harry Reid, Democrat senator from Nevada. Ever dream of making a fortune in real estate without any risk? Well you can with my tried and true Reid’s Real Estate Money Magic System.

 In lesson #1 you will learn how to buy undeveloped land right after you push thru legislation to make it more valuable. Then you also pick up campaign contributions along the way! With my system, it’s a piece of cake.
In lesson #2, you will learn how to transfer your property to a friend’s off shore shell company - getting everything out of your name. Then you strong arm the Zoning Board - to re-zone the land - thus tripling it’s value over night! With no messy contracts in your name, no one will every know you were in on it. Not even the IRS!”
The Reid Real Estate Money Magic System is so simple, anyone can do it. Well, if you are a crooked Senator from Nevada, or any other Democrat in office.

The Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke - appointed by Hussein Obama – has a lot of friends that he helped out with the Stimulus Package.
GE: “Thanks Ben.”
Harley-Davidson: “Thanks Ben.”
Toyota: “Arigotou Bena-san.”
Some US Banks: “Thanks Ben.”
Banks in Scotland, England, Bavaria, Switzerland, Korea, Mexico and Japan: chorus “Thanks Ben.”
Teacher’s Union: “Thanks Benjamin. And no talking! anyone about this”
Teamsters Union: “Thanks Ben. Now fa-getta bout it.”
UAW: “Thanks Ben. We will call off our paid protesters now.”
Yes, Ben has helped our a lot of friends with taxpayer money – none of which is even collected yet! It was all just printed and added to our children’s children’s debt. And of course a lot of that money will be sent back to the Democrat Party.

And Obama tells Ben who the friends of the Democrat Party are.
Compliments of the Federal Reserve – serving the Democrat Party every time Democrats are in control.

Now from the people that brought you Government Motors and Obamacare, we now bring you the all new Obamacard!

President Obama says, “In my economy, some people say money is tight for everyone. Not if you carry the new Obamacard! With the Obamacard, it doesn’t matter if you are slow pay…..or no pay. You can go ahead and go play!

Because, just like me, there is no limit on what you can spend and you have no responsibility! So charge ahead with the Obamacard.

In the new economy I am building, there is no need to pay any money back because we just owe it to ourselves, our children, and our children’s children. Well, and the Chinese and the Saudis. Oh, and the printer of the money.

Hey, Joe, Nancy, Hillary and Harry, see if the printer can wait another 90 days before we pay him.”

Of course in order to feel good about yourself and think any of this makes sense, you have to drive a hybrid, watch MSNBC daily, join a union, close your mind and forget everything you ever liked about your freedom and property. Basically, be a useful idiot Kool-aid drinking Democrat voter.

Friday, November 01, 2013

Truth in Advertising

Bars and Alcohol......making men victims for centuries. Davethedog says stay off juries too!