Wednesday, June 22, 2016

KingBing420 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2016

KingBing420 derailed the rest of the field!
She beat a field of fourteen and takes the early lead in the 3rd quarter for the 3rd seat in the NPP Finals.

Mikeniks-Faldo got a run of cards late to scoot him into 2nd spot this evening - after losing a hard fought battle to Bing heads up. But with his 2nd place points - he takes the Total Points lead away from T3chlady - who is off doing poker battle in a little known place called - Las Vegas.

3rd - Absea98
4th - Johnnied55
Bubble - Derf-63

Congratulations to KingBing420 for her 5th NPP win!

A return of Just for Men jokes (shocker I know):

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. The woman should open the beer before delivering it to the man.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink when doing dishes.

How do you know when a woman is finally going to say something smart?
The sentence starts off with "A man once told me......"

What is the best make of watch to buy a woman?
None. There is a clock on the stove. She doesn't need a watch.

What do you call a woman who has 95% of her intellegence?

Scientists discovered the food that destroys a woman's sex drive.
It's called wedding cake.

My wife and I's last fight was all my fault.
She asked me what was on TV - and I said "dust".

God created man and rested.
Then God created woman - and neither God or man has rested since.

A man put an ad in the paper that said "Wife wanted".
He got thousands of replies all saying the same thing - "Take mine!"

Why are women's wedding dresses white?
So the dishwasher matches the stove.

Now some of you might think that this a childish list put on this site by a sore loser who lost to a woman in heads up poker play.........But,'s got to go.....ummm..... change the oil in his car.........yeah, that's it....change the oil.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

ThePunk75 Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016 - Douge2 Wins the 2nd Quarter Seat!

ThePunk75 left the NPP field bloodied but not defeated!
ThePunk75 got a rare time out from his kid's baseball coaching, to show up and push the eleven person NPP field around this evening. ThePunk already has his seat in the NPP Finals because he won the 1st quarter!

ThePunk's victory gave the absent Douge2 the 2nd quarter seat. T3chlady gave it a shot but came up a mere .47 of a point away from unseating Douge2. It was an exciting finish. The 3rd Quarter starts next week - so be here.

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - T3chlady
Bubble - 95corolla

T3chlady did pick up some points and kept the Total Point lead. Tough break on the 2nd quarter Lady.

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 27th NPP win! And congratulations to Douge2 on his 2nd Quarter win and having a seat in the NPP Finals!

Sometimes ......just sometimes..... Faldo stirs up the Battle of the Sexes - just for fun. Sometimes the Ladies have responses and comebacks to the Faldo tweeks. Here are some:

Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, full - bodied, hot and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and usually head right for your hips.

Men are like blenders. You need one but you are not really sure why.

Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction....and that is about it.

Men are like curling irons. They are always hot and always in your hair.

Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like high heels. They are easy to walk on once you learn how.

Men are like lawn mowers. You are either pushing one around or riding it.

Men are like lava lamps. Nice to look at but not very bright.

Men are like noodles. They're always in hot water, they lack taste and need dough.

Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are impossible to find or extremely small.

Men are like toilet plungers. They are either in the hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like place mats. They only show up when food is on the table.

Men are like used cars. Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.

Men are like the weather. You can complain about it, but nothing can be done to change either one.

Men are like snowstorms. You never know for sure when they are coming, how many inches you will get or how long they will last.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Derf-63 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2016

Derf-63 wins ......two.
Derf-63 gets his second victory of the 2nd quarter and year, but he doesn't have enough points to be a factor this quarter. More later.

2nd - Johnnied55
3rd - Absea98
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
5th - 95corolla
Bubble - T3chlady

There are only two players who can win the 2nd quarter and that is the Leader - Douge2 and the one in 2nd place - T3chlady.

The bubble finish for The Lady did not help.

But poker players give no one mercy and the Total Point Race still has a half a year to go.

So, next week we will all be trying to win and where Douge2 and T3chlady finish is up to them - and the cards.

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 25th NPP win!

As I write this, it was just announced that the great hockey player Gordie Howe just died at age 88.

To tell you what this man means to people in Hockey Town, I have a nephew who's middle name is Gordon - after the Great #9.

Faldo has his own story concerning Gordie Howe. Here it is:
Gordie and some others were giving a clinic for beginner hockey players and they were on the ice prior to a Faldo league hockey game.

Faldo and his teammates watched #9 move smoothly and gracefully over the ice, even in his 50's. Heck, he was still playing - or just finally retired in his mid 50's.

Anyway, we retired to our locker room to dress. When we came out and lined up to jump on the ice, the Zamboni was still cleaning the ice. As we waited for the Zamboni to finish, Faldo noticed that Gordie was sitting on our bench!

Now he was not in the bench, but perched on the dasher with his skated in our bench, resting on the actual bench. People were hanging out over the half-plexiglass behind our bench getting autographs and taking pictures of Gordie as he signed whatever they handed him.

Finally, the Zamboni finished and our Captain opened the door and my team started onto the ice to warm up prior to our game. As Faldo got close to the door, Faldo made a right turn into the bench - rather than jumping on the ice.

Faldo walked up to Gordie Howe and said, "How is it going Gordie. Long time no see!", and Faldo reached out to shake his hand. He extended his hand with a slightly confused look on his face.
As we shook hands, Faldo turned to the crowd and said, "Folks, Faldo can only stay for a few pictures and then Faldo has to go."

With that, Faldo put his arm around Gordie Howe and turned to the crowd. The flash bulbs were a poppin as fast as they could push their little camera buttons!

After a minute or so, Faldo put up his hand and said, "Sorry folks, but my teammates are waiting. Good to see you Gord. Later."

With that, Faldo jumped over the boards and started skating with his teammates, skating as fast as possible and doing crossovers and skating backwards and anything else Faldo could do to look like he knew what he was doing out there.

The flashbulbs were now still on Faldo, and Gordie Howe was occasionally glancing over his shoulder trying to figure out where he had met Faldo before.

My teammates skated by me and asked, "Do you really know Gordie?" And Faldo assured them he did.

After the game, Faldo had to fess up that the closest he ever was to Gordie Howe before that moment was that my mother got his autograph for me once in a restaurant they were both eating in.

Gordie Howe was gracious at all times to all people. Faldo tries to emulate Gordie.

Rest in peace #9.

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Absea98 Wins for the 1st Time in 2016

Blair O'Neil says Absea98 has 'game'.
Absea98 was low in chips most of the round, but caught fire late - cooled again - and then re-fired to win for the first time this year. Nice job Absea98.

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - 95corolla
4th - T3chlady
Bubble - GMOgolf

T3chlady expands her Total Point lead, and creeps into Douge2 range. This will make the last two weeks of the 2nd round very interesting!

GMOgolf just missed the points this evening.

Congratulations to Absea98 on his 14th NPP win!

Now some t-shirt slogans in Faldo's drawer:

"Real Men Don't Waste Hormones Growing Hair"

"Upon the Advice of my Attorney; My t-shirt Carries No Message at This Time"

"Procrastinate .....NOW!"

"Kentucky - Millions of People - 15 Last Names"

"Where There is a Will......I Want to be in It"

"It's called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was Already Taken"

"Hard Work Pays Off Later.....Laziness Pays Off Immediately"

"The original 'point and click' interface was a Smith and Remmington"

"My Wild Oats Have Turned into Shredded Wheat"

"Listen Woman - Tell Your Chest to Stop Staring at My Eyes"

(Actually on Faldo's Golf Hat) "Save the Country - Repeal the 19th Amendment"