Thursday, April 28, 2016

Rjmech Wins for the First Time in 2016

Gemma Atkinson relaxes in Rjmech's NPP chair.
Everything old is new again. Rjmech shows up for the first time in 2016 and wins - as he has so often here at NPP.

Rjmech started the evening by disposing of Faldo. Somehow he survived and prospered even with these unlucky poison chips were in his stack. Nice job RJ!

2nd - GMOgolf
3rd - KingBing420
4th - LittleRedElf
5th - Smaloo315 (1st points at NPP - Congrats Smaloo!)
Bubble - Derf-63 (for the second week in a row. Ouch!)

Congratulations to Rjmech on his 20th NPP win. Welcome back RJ!

The 2nd quarter continues next week, and now that someone besides Douge2 won this quarter, we all might be able to get back in the race. But if RJ keeps showing up......maybe not.

Now here is a list of new Inspirational Posters:
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"Doing a job right the first time gets the job done. Doing the job wrong eleven times before doing it right gives you job security."

"Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing everyone who opposed them."

"We put the K in Kwality."

"If it doesn't feel good, you are not feeling the right things."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"A person who can smile when things are going wrong....was smart enough to have a scapegoat already lined up."

"If you can stay calm while there is chaos all around you .....then you just don't understand the situation."

"Plagiarism saves time."

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid all together."

More next week.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Douge2 Wins for the 4th time in 2016 - in a row!!

Douge2 wins four - in a row. It's good to be a winner at NPP.
Douge2 is making a mockery of the 2nd quarter so far! Nice job Doug, but what are the rest of us doing?

Sorry for the delay writing, but Faldo has been waiting for PokerStars to update the standings.

It has not happened yet - as of this writing.

But Douge2's accomplishment must be noted and recorded for posterity! This was his 22nd win in NPP history and moves him up the Walk of Fame!

Nice job Douge2!

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - Tomservo2
4th - Wingsfancurt
5th - Derf-63
6th - Absea98

It will be tough but we can still catch him - after all there are eight rounds remaining. So see you all Tuesday to see if we can stop the Douge2 express!

Here is an excerpt from a 1950's Home Economics textbook. Faldo says this should be a required course for senior college coeds today - as today's students are four or more years behind the students of the 1950's in today's classrooms.

1. Have dinner ready when your husband gets home. And make it delicious. This is a sly way of letting him know you were thinking of him all day. A man is usually hungry when he gets home and the warm aroma of a good meal is the welcome he deserves.

2. Prpare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest before he walks in. Touch up your make up and put a ribbon in your hair.

3. Clear away clutter. Take a last minute tour of the main house and make sure things look in order. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest.

4. Prepare the children. Wash their hands and faces, comb their hair and if necessary - their clothes. He will want to hug his little treasures so have them look the part.

5. Minimize all noise. Turn off the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Let the children know to greet their father warmly - but no yelling or horseplay.

6. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him speak first. Once he has aired his frustrations, he will ask how your day was - then that is the signal it is your turn.

7. Make the evening his. During the work week, understand his world is a lot of strain and pressure. His home must be a place of rest during the week.

8. Have a warm or cold drink ready for him when he walks in the door.

9. Always speak in a low, soft, soothing, pleasant feminine voice to allow him to relax and unwind.

10. Some don'ts: Don't greet him with complaints and don't complain if he is late for dinner.

11. After dinner have him relax in his favorite chair or suggest he lie down on the couch. Arrange his pillow and offer to remove his shoes.

12, The goal is to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Not a bad list - a little incomplete in Faldo's opinion. But after all the author was not Faldo, so errors were unavoidable.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Douge2 Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016

Douge2 has won three, for his NPP suite.
Douge2 is on fire! Three straight wins to start the 2nd quarter. That is a great time to start a streak. Everyone is in official ...."chase" mode.

Douge2 won it after a tough battle with 2nd place finisher GMOgolf. Nice job guys.

3rd - Cigar4John
4th - Tigercub8189
5th - Absea98
Bubble - KingBing420

Only three rounds in so still time to get in there and join the herd chasing Douge2. See you next week!

Now a little humor. This week Men's English:

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm tired" = I'm tired
To the question, what are you thinking about? "Nothing" = Nothing
"You look great." = I wish you would dress more like a slut for me.
"Would you like to go to a movie sometime?" = I eventually want to sleep with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I eventually want to sleep with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I eventually want to sleep with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I eventually want to sleep with you.
"You look tense. Let me rub your shoulders." = I eventually want to sleep with you.
"Let's talk." = I am trying to show you I am a deep person so you will sleep with me.
"What's wrong?" = So you don't want sex tonight?
"I love you." = I want to sleep with you tonight.
"I love you too." = There...I said it. We better have sex now.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal and immoral for you to sleep with anyone else.
"Nice dress." = Nice cleavage - or -Thanks for the up-skirt.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better longer.
"I like that one." = Whatever! Pick a dress and let's get out of this mall.

Friday, April 08, 2016

Douge2 Wins for the 2nd Time in a Row in 2016

Jessica Alba shows she has a double winner herself at the NPP pool.

Douge2 is trying to put a claim on the 2nd quarter seat quickly. But, as we all know, that is very tough to do with this line up of poker players.

2nd – LittleRedElf
3rd – Johnnied55
4th – Absea98
5th – T3chlady
Bubble – Lump2

It is only week 2 of the second quarter. Get to NPP and join in the poker action on Tuesday night.

Congratulations to Douge2 on his 20th NPP win!

Now a lesson on the English language for the sexes. Ladies first.

Women’s English
“Yes” = Maybe
“No” = Maybe
“Maybe” = No
“I’m sorry” = You will be sorry
“We need to talk” = I need to complain and you will listen!
“Sure….go ahead.” = I don’t want you to and you BETTER NOT!
“I’m not upset”. = Of course I’m upset you insensitive moron!
“We need new curtains.” = and carpeting, and furniture and new paint colors and…
“Hang the picture here.” = or there, ….or maybe there.
“I heard a noise.” = You were almost asleep and I can’t get to sleep you insensitive moron.
“Do you love me?” = I am going to ask for something expensive or a favor for my side of the family.
“How much do you love me?” = I did something today you are not going to like.
“I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.” = I will be ready in a half hour or more.
“Is my butt fat?” = Tell me I am beautiful so I can say you are a liar and start a fight.
“You and I don’t communicate.” = You need to let me have my way all the time.
“Are you listening to me?” = You are so dead!
“I’m not YELLING!” = Of course I am yelling you moron!