Johnnied55 Wins for the 1st Time in 2019

Johnnied55 pushed this round across the goal line!

Johnnied55 beat a strong field of 14 tonight for his first win of the year and playing brilliantly against Faldo for the win.

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - Hlam142015
4th - GMOgolf
Bubble - Tomservo2

Congratulations to Johnnied55 on his 5th NPP victory and moving up the Walk of Fame!

Now some people with sex on their minds:

Text from daughter to mom:

"Hello mom, I need your advice. I have some of my boyfriend's cum stuck in my hair. How do I get it out? Will I have to cut it out?"

Text from mom to daughter:

"It’s nice you can send me such a frank text. No, you won't have to cut it out. I've had loads of cum in my hair over the years and it will just wash out."

Daughter back to mom:

"Oh my God, mom.......... sorry, I meant to spell gum."

$7.00 SEX

An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an
elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing
wrong with the way you have intercourse..'

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them
$50 and he says good bye.

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to
watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems,
pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry,
but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married; so we can't go to her house.

I'm married; and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and best of all....

Medicare pays $43 of it.

Jb1974x Wins for the 1st Time in 2019

Jb has fans and groupies at the rail always!

Jb1974x burst onto the NPP scene last year and immediately started winning tournaments. It looks like he will continue that type of success again this year.

2nd - 95corolla
3rd - Absea98
4th - Derf-63
Bubble - Mikeniks-Faldo

Congratulations to Jb1974x on his 4th NPP victory and moving up the Walk of Fame!

Now two for the blog of one!

An Italian couple went Christmas shopping and the shopping center was packed.

As Mary, the wife, walked through one of the halls she was surprised to look around and saw that Mario, her husband, was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Also worried, she called his cell phone to ask him where he was.

In a calm voice, Mario said, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, yes, I remember that shop."

"Well, he said, I'm in the bar next door to it."

One morning three women are golfing on the fourth green when      suddenly a guy runs by wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

As he passes by the first woman, she looks down and says, “Well, he’s certainly not my husband.”

As he passes by the second woman, she also glances downward and says,   “He’s not my husband either.”

He then passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. “Wait a minute,” she says. “He’s not even a member of the club.” 

Tomservo2 Wins for the 1st Time in 2019 - And What if it Was Boats Instead of Healthcare

Tomservo2 was TOP DOG this round!

Tomservo2 gets into the race for the 1st quarter seat with a nice victory over a tough field.

2nd - Derf-63
3rd - Rjmech
4th - Jb1974x
Bubble - GMOgolf

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 38th NPP victory!

The Affordable Boat Act

 The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat

act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014.
These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each.
This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration
fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and
financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new
laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their
own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your
boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not
including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of
owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way,
wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or
can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain
their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can
use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase
their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you
can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one
anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the
desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not
exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the
port starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when,
where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with
how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat
has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like
a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...it's only fair. 

The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat,
they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers.
Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$)
are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yea...it's that stupid...

Douge2 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2019 - And Some Want to Get to Work!

Douge2 is digging in this season!

Douge2 is tearing it up. After a disappointing 2018, Douge2 means business this year it appears.

2nd - Absea98
3rd - KingUnix
4th - CometGirlXO
Bubble - Tigercub8189

Congratulations to Douge2 on his 36th NPP win!

And now meet some conscientious employees!

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.

 The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each to a field in which the pigs could mate. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.

 While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."

 The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the Station wagon again and proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week and the farmers were about worn out.

 About two weeks later the farmer with the female pigs was too tired to get out of bed. 

He said to his wife, "Honey, please go look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."

 "Neither," replied his wife....

 "they're all in the station wagon...

 and one of them is honking the horn.”