Friday, March 30, 2012

The #6 Cigar in the USA – CAO

“One cigar company that has helped to raise the level of awareness and has helped to maintain the popularity of cigar smoking is the Cao Cigar Company.


The Cao Cigar Company is headquartered in Nashville, Tennessee. The company was founded by an Armenian Turk by the name of Cano Ozgener. Mr. Ozgener had a great passion for a good cigar. The company derives its name, CAO, from the initials of its founder, Cano A. Ozgener.

Their first cigar brand was called Casa de Manuel. Business did not fare well and leadership decided to retreat to the safety of manufacturing pipes and humidors.

Eventually, when cigar smoking hit its stride in sales, the Cao Cigar Company ventured back into the cigar market and became successful with their introduction of their version of the maduro.

The Cao Cigar Company manufactures and distributes several distinctive lines of cigars.

The particular brands of cigars manufactured by the Cao Cigar Company include the Gold, Double Maduro, Creole, Brasilia, and three separate versions of the L’Anniversaire. Those brands include the Maduro, eXtreme and Cameroon. Also, through expansion, other companies have been added the Cao cigar business family.

Two Cigar Lines
Two specific Cao Cigar lines are the Brazilia and the CAO Gold. Each of these cigars is distinctive in their own right and offers a unique smoking experience for the cigar lover.

The CAO Brazilia is a blend of tobacco leafs that utilizes a deep Brazilian wrapper that enfolds an excellent tobacco from the country of Nicaragua. The opportunity of smoking this Cao Cigar can be best described by using the language of sweetness coupled with a wonderful blend of spiciness. This robust flavor provides a wonderful cigar smoking experience.

Another line of Cao Cigar is the CAO Gold. This special cigar uses a wrapper grown in Ecuador and, in addition to a fine smoking encounter, provides visual appeal to the eyes through a finely crafted cigar. Indulging in this rich pleasure will provide a taste that is even, smooth and provides a hint of a nutty-like flavor.” - Hat tip to Refresh Articles for this report.

Now for Faldo’s two cents: Not so much. Not a fan.

The tobaccos used in CAO’s come from Honduras or Nicaragua and are a little harsh for Faldo’s taste. Most are a medium to full bodied strength.

Faldo tried the CAO Gold a few times (different boxes), which are supposed to be “mild to medium” and Faldo found them to burn a little hot and have a bite near the end.

But CAO is #6 cigar in the nation for a reason. The top Five Faldo agrees with. Number 6, not so much.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

95corolla Wins His 2nd NPP Title and Has a Shot at 1st Quarter Glory!

95corolla impressed the pants...and the shirt off of Dana Workman with his performance.

He triumphed over a host of NPP’ers desperate to win tonight. The 1st quarter leaders were MIA or early exits – like a leading marathon runner that stumbles and this gave the pack a chance to make up some ground.

With one week left, here are the contenders left in the 1st quarter race;

The rest will almost assuredly have to wait until next quarter to win their seat in the NPP final. But valuable points for the two Total Points seats will still be …well, valuable!

On to the action:

19 min: Pre01 (14th) loses to T3chady’s trips.
23 min: KingBing420 (13th) hits a straight but loses to Sanster89’s full house! Ouch!
30 min: Absea (12th) goes with (QQ) but is double teamed by Sanster89 and Mikeniks-Faldo, and Faldo wins with (AA).

35 min: ThePunk75 (11th) sees his two pair get run over by 8thmile’s flush.
36 min: Tomservo2 (10th) missed it playing my hand.
47 min: T3chlady (9th) sees her (AK) get run down by a short-stacked (SS) Sanster89’s (K5) with a flop of [85384].

51 min: Sanster89 (8th) is double-teamed by Suetman123 and the winner, LittleRedElf with two pair.

54 min: A SS Suetman123 (7th) loses to Derf-63’s (88).

1st break:
Lump2 6525
LittleRedElf 4720
Derf-63 3850
8thmile 2970
Mikeniks-Faldo 2305
95corolla 630

63 min: A SS 8thmile (6th) has to go with (A6) and loses to Lump2’s (A9).

85 min: Lump2 with (AJ) flops two pair on a board of [JKA], but 95corolla is holding (KK). Ouch! Lump2 moves from 1st in chips to 3rd and 95corolla moves from 4th to 1st! Things change quickly in no-limit holdem!

98 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (5th) hits trip Kings (K9) and loses to 95corolla’s (22) full house with a [2K8K] flop and turn. To be fair, Faldo should have folded when Faldo got re-raised on the turn. Figured my trips were no good, but Faldo was in a weak 4th in chips, and Derf-63 was sitting there with less chips than a blind.

A fold probably guarantees Faldo 4th. But all the players remaining need to win to have a shot at this 1st quarter title. Faldo called looking for the nub. No nub. And NO POINTS either! Point bubble boy – a new title for Faldo.

100 min: A SS Derf-63 (4th) has to go with (A8) but falls to 95corolla’s (A4) with a [4] on the river.

2nd break;
95corolla 9960
Lump2 6235
LittleRedElf 4805

136 min: A SS Lump2 (3rd) goes with his pair of Sevens, but LittleRedElf has two pair.

Heads up: LittleRedElf 13000 - 95corolla 8000
140 min: LittleRedElf 8000 - 95corolla 13000

142 min: A SS LittleRedElf (2nd) has to go with (Ks 9s), but 95corolla has (A2).

Congratulations to 95corolla on his 2nd NPP win!

1st – 95corolla
2nd – LittleRedElf
3rd – Lump2
4th – Derf-63
5th – Mikeniks-Faldo
6th – 8thmile
7th – Suetman123
8th – Sanster89
9th – T3chlady
10th – Tomservo2
11th – ThePunk75
12th – Absea98
13th – KingBing420
14th – Pre01

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Come to the USA, the Democrats Say!

If you are thinking about illegal immigration, be careful when you are choosing a nation. Because in some countries, breaking the law is frowned upon. Imagine that!

Sneak into China and they will call you a spy, and ship you off to Mongolia until you die.

In the Sudan, they will hang you and the camel you road in on.

Don't go hiking into Iran, or you may never be heard from again.

And in Mexico, you might face a firing squad.

Forget all about going to North Korea. That's a great example of a bad idea.

So when it comes down to it, there is only one option you got.

Yeah, come to the USA! There is no penalty to pay, should you get caught illegally immigrating.
Come to the USA! It will be your lucky day, cause if you get in, there's lots of goodies waiting.

Like health care, welfare, education. Help with your voter registration!
And driver's license and credit cards, and license plates for your old car.
Lots of jobs for you to do and employers that will turn a blind eye too.
Come to the USA!

No need to worry about the Constitution. The Democrats will help you start a house of prostitution, if that is the kind of work that you want to do.
You see, those crazy gringo infidels are crazy! They will give citizenship to your new baby. So you see? There is really only one choice for you.

Yeah, come to the USA! There is no penalty to pay, should you get caught illegally immigrating.
Come to the USA! It will be your lucky day, cause if you get in, there's lots of goodies waiting.

You get public housing, cable TV, food stamps, and even government cheese!
The borders are a swinging door. Go back home for a visit, then come back for more.
There is sanctuary and amnesty. Bring the whole fam-damily...eventually.

Come to the USA!

The Democrats are committed to the destruction of the American way of life.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Faldo Finishes 4th in Shark's Club Tourney; K9isadog Also Makes the Final Table!

Allison was there to cheer the NPP players on in this 40 player tournament!

Faldo managed a 4th place finish just thru his usual miser strategy with chips and a few key pot wins. Also with 6 remaining, a short-stacked Faldo spiked a [T] on the river holding (Jd Td) against an opponent who had him covered with (AQ). A [QJ3] flop put Faldo in desparate straits, but the river [T] saved him.

The 4th place finish was good for a slightly better return of doubling the entry fee ($110 = $60 gravy)

It was a standard night for Faldo in Card World. Faldo never saw AA, KK, JJ, TT or AK.

I had one (QQ) which conveniently ran into (AA) to really short-stack Faldo half way thru the tournament. And I never really got out of that position.

Only two AQ's (both suited - one took a pot uncontested and the other lost on the river) and only two (99), both of which had to be folded after the flops of over cards and heavy betting (ducking AA once).

The rest of the cards were garbage. Or a Boother36 says, "A hand full of feces."

Faldo's decisions to fold hands before they hit the flop worked out 4 of the 5 times. Faldo would have been run down if he would have called that flop and pushed after hitting the likes of two pair, trips and even a straight!

Faldo flopped a straight with (53) in the big blind and a board of [7h 4d 6d]. But even this pot win was an adventure. I check being first to act, hoping this table of maniacs would push. The button dutifully bet and all three of us behind called.

I am - as usual - short-stacked, and I am trying to milk this hand for all I can. Protecting it gets me little return if they all fold.

The turn was a rotten [8d]. Probably the worse card in the deck for Faldo's hopes. But this gets checked around.

The river is a [7]! Another bad card for Faldo. But I bet half the pot anyway, and get called in one spot and take down some much needed ammo.

It was that kind of night. Surviving every lap - barely - all the way to 4th place.

K9isadog made a move with (K3) and a board of [938] and a turn card [8]. His only opponent had to call........with (88)!!! Quads!! Ouch! K9 finished 8th.

Pre01 finished 29th as his (QQ) lost to (A4) with an [A] hitting the board.

Don't you worry NPP'ers. You were well represented this night.

A sighting of Fourbetbluff at the cash table was also acknowledged.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

K9isadog’s fantastic play ….just floored Romina!

It’s a ball game now. ThePunk75 inched closer to the leader Pre01. K9isadog takes over 3rd. T3chlady stays in the race in 4th, just ahead of LittleRedElf. And another four players could still get there with a little help.

Very exciting stuff with two rounds left in the 1st quarter.

We welcome a new addition to the NPP family; Topwrench123. Thanks for joining.

And remember, NPP at the Sharks Club in Howell tomorrow night!

On to the action:

19 min: A short-stacked (SS) Tomservo2 (16th) sees his (KQ) run into K9isadog’s (AT).
32 min: A rare double kill as T3chlady takes out both Derf63 (15th) and Sanster89 (14th) with a pair of Aces.

35 min: Suetman123 (13th) goes with (QQ) but gets run down by Pre01’s straight.
39 min: A SS 95corolla (12th) goes with (Ah 7h) but cannot run down K9isadog’s (TT).
41 min: A SS Topwrench123 (11th) has to go with (KT) and runs into K9isadog’s (AA).
44 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (10th) has to go with (Kd 7d) and is called by another SS, ThePunk75 with (QT), and a [Q] hits the flop.

47 min: Lump2 (9th) sees his (QQ) get run down by T3chlady’s (77) with a flop of [774]!! Ouch!

53 min: KingBing420 (8th) is double-teamed by the K9isadog and the winner, T3chlady with (TT).

87 min: Absea98 (7th) sees his (AA) lose to a two-outer as K9isadog has (66) and a [6] hit the river! Ouch! It is interesting that the EXACT same thing happened last week to knock a player out in 7th place. Weird.

1st break:
K9isadog 7675
T3chlady 5710
Pre01 3545
ThePunk75 3520
8thmile 2610
LittleRedElf 940

63 min: LittleRedElf (6th) loses to ThePunk75’s (QQ).
83 min: SS Pre01 (5th) has to go with (Ac 3c) but runs into ThePunk75’s (KK).
105 min: A SS 8thmile (4th) has to go with (Ac 4c) but runs into K9isadog’s (KK).

2nd break;
K9isadog 10912
T3chlady 7294
ThePunk75 5794

132 min: A SS ThePunk75 (3rd) goes with (KQ) but K9isadog has (AK).

Heads up: K9isadog 15800 - T3chlady 8200

135 min: K9isadog 17800 - T3chlady 6200
140 min: K9isadog 11800 - T3chlady 12200

144 min: A SS T3chlady (2nd) has to go with (A5), but cannot catch K9isadog’s (77).

Congratulations to K9isadog on his 11th NPP win!

1st – K9isadog
2nd – T3chlady
3rd – ThePunk75
4th – 8thmile
5th – Pre01
6th – LittleRedElf
7th – Absea98
8th – KingBing420
9th – Lump2
10th – Mikeniks-Faldo
11th – Topwrench123
12th – 95corolla
13th – Suetman123
14th – Sanster89
15th – Derf-63
16th - Tomservo2

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

NPP Night at the Sharks Club in Howell Wednesday

Jodie should stop hanging around Faldo's office, playing with his cigar, and make it to the Sharks's Club this Wednesday night!

Texas Holdem Tournament (usually 30 to 50 people)

1140 South Michigan Ave , Howell

Pre01 and Faldo will be there at least!

A little short notice but see if you can make it. Here are the particulars:

7pm start.
Entry = $40
13,000 chips
15 minute blinds
No Rebuys
$10 add on at 1st break

Hope to see some NPP’er there live!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

LittleRedElf Moves into 2nd in All Time NPP Wins!

This lady enjoys the mastery of LittleRedElf’s poker skills from the rail!

With his usual strong play and some help from the poker gods, LittleRedElf rolled over fourteen other players to win this NPP round. With it, he moves into contention for the 1st quarter seat. An intense finish to the 1st quarter seems to be brewing.

We welcomed back Bigbrimar tonight, as his work schedule has backed off enough where he can play again. Good to see you Brian.

On to the action:

30 min: Sanster89 (15th) Working on my basketball bracket.
40 min: Derf-63 (14th) I missed it playing my hand.
43 min: A short-stacked (SS) Wingsfancurt (13th) has to go with (Kd 6d) but Douge2 has (33).

46 min: Absea98 (12th) sees his flush run into T3chlady’s bigger flush. Ouch!
48 min: Suetman123 (11th) sees her two pair lose to T3chlady’s bigger two pair.

52 min: KingBing420 (10th). I did not see it as the table closed too fast.
54 min: 8thmile (9th) sees his (TT) run into Douge2’s (AA).

1st break:
LittleRedElf 4930
Douge2 4735
Mikeniks-Faldo 2995
T3chlady 2800
95corolla 2355
Bigbrimar 2135
ThePunk75 1670
Tomservo2 880

77 min: ThePunk75 (8th) is double-teamed by the LittleRedElf and the winner, 95corolla with (TT).

87 min: Tomservo2 (7th) sees his (AA) lose to a two-outer as LittleRedElf has (QQ) and a [Q] hit the flop! Ouch!

103 min: T3chlady (6th) has to go with (QQ) but runs into Doutge2’s (A9).
105 min: Mikeniks-Faldo’s (5th) pair of Aces loses when Bigbrimar catches his flush on the river.

2nd break;
95corolla 13460
LittleRedElf 4985
Douge2 3260
Bigbrimar 795

122 min: A SS Bigbrimar’s (4th) (67) loses to LittleRedElf’s two pair.
148 min: A SS Douge2 (3rd) goes with (KJ) but LittleRedElf has (AQ).

Heads up: LittleRedElf 17500 - 95corolla 5000

150 min: LittleRedElf 20500 - 95corolla 2000

152 min: A SS 95corolla (2nd) has to go with (Ah 9h) and LittleRedElf correctly calls with (62) and hits a [6] on the flop

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 14th NPP win!

1st – LittleRedElf
2nd – 95corolla
3rd – Douge2
4th – Bigbrimar
5th – Mikeniks-Faldo
6th – T3chlady
7th – Tomservo2
8th – ThePunk75
9th – 8thmile
10th – KingBing420
11th – Suetman123
12th – Absea98
13th – Wingsfancurt
14th – Derf-63
15th – Sanster89

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Community Card Review - Our Nation is Getting Fluked - Literally Raped - and it is Not Pretty!

This is how it works, and most Americans are too stupid to see it - especially women voters who are more emotionally manipulated. Many women fall for the cheap magician’s trick being played on them by the Democrat Party. Or if they are already a Democrat, don’t want to see it….or like it.

George Stephanopolous, a Democrat Party hack that masquerades as an ABC (Already Big Communists) News journalist, was moderating a Republican Candidate presidential debate. And out of the blue, he asked Mitt Romney what he thought about the possibility of states banning contraception.

Romney of course had no clue why this was brought up. And neither did anyone else.

The next day, the entire media started the chant that Republicans want to deny women birth control.

Then, on cue, Barack Obama issued an edict (unconstitutional to do) that churches must pay for free contraception and abortions at their hospitals and schools (also unconstitutional).

As the churches revolted (verbally and politically), Obama ‘relented’ and changed the edict (unconstitutional – again) to making health care providers pay for it (unconstitutional again). The Republicans claimed ‘victory’, and that gave the media more fodder that Republicans hate women, and want to deny them birth control.

Which of course is not the case at all, but now that is the chant.

Meanwhile, the unconstitutional edict stood – not voted on by Congress – the constitutional way laws are supposed to be voted on. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT JUST HAPPENED? And it was not the first time either that this dictatorship has ignored our Constitution out in the open without being called on it by Congress.

Now the media has everyone off the economy, the gas prices, the collapsed housing market, the falling dollar, the billions in debt and bailouts to Democrat contributors, and focused on birth control.

Meanwhile, the Dictator in the White House is getting edicts placed into law.

Nancy Pelosi set up a press conference that looked like a Congressional Hearing, which Botox Nancy no longer has the power to call. No matter. The media dressed it up and covered it like it was one. A professional student and activist - Sandra Fluke - was presented as a struggling coed speaking on the behalf of all women.

She testified that her and her fellow coeds are having SO MUCH SEX at Georgetown University, that the cost of contraception is causing them to go broke. Fluke claims she spends $3000 on birth control and cannot afford it. Hence, someone MUST provide this coverage for her. Fluke wants the taxpayer or the Pope to pay for the birth control so she can have sex.

Faldo wants to ‘have golf’. I need a membership, a new golf bag, some driving range tokens, new golf spikes and Lord knows, some golf lessons. Where is my fake congressional hearing, Nancy? George? You two plan on speaking out for Faldo?

Or did polls show that Obama was losing the women vote and that abortion rights no longer poll well. So Democrats, with the help of the main stream media, moved it to birth control and blamed the Republicans for hating women?

And at the same time, Congress allows direct laws to be issued from the Dictator in Chief, without a peep from anyone in Congress – Democrat or Republican.

Democrats are traitors. Republicans are complicit (for those of you in Ann Arbor, this means ‘they are helping’).

Americans better prepare for servitude (for those of you in Ann Arbor, this means ‘being a slave’)…. or war.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Pre01 Wins His 2nd NPP Tourney and Takes the 1st Quarter Lead!

Kendra likes NPP League leaders!

The league this 1st quarter has been the story of two players on fire and a bunch of players just hanging around, trying to stay close. This thing is not over and THAT is what makes this league so much fun!

We welcome a new player; Sanster89, who was warned about us by Derf-63, but he joined anyway! Welcome Sanster89.

On to the action:

20 min: ThePunk75 (18th) loses to Derf-63’s pair of tens.
30 min: Cpadanj (17th) has (66) and runs into Absea98’s (AA).
45 min: Sanster89 (16th) has a pair of Two’s and is out-kicked by Theedouble*d’s pair of Twos! Sanster89 gets the standard NPP introduction. Treated rudely at the table.

48 min: Douge2 (15th) is blinded out.
54 min: 95corolla (14th) I missed it playing my hand.

1st break:
Theedouble*d 4875
K9isadog 4735
Derf-63 2348
Suetman123 2210
T3chlady 1915
Absea98 1820
Lump2 1785
Tomservo2 1749
LittleRedElf 1526
KingBing420 1307
Pre01 1240
8thmile 1070
Mikeniks-Faldo 420

64 min: A short-stacked (SS) Mikeniks-Faldo (13th) has to go with (KT) and hits a [K] on the flop, but there is also a [6], and Derf-63 has (66). That about sums up my cards tonight.

71 min: 8thmile (12th) sees his (QQ) run into Theedouble*d’s (KK). Ouch!
73 min: Tomservo2 (11th) gets double teamed by LittleRedElf and Suetman123, and Sue wins it with a pair of Queens.

75 min: LittleRedElf (10th). I did not see it as the table closed too fast.
78 min: Theedouble*d does a rare double kill as his straight takes out KingBing420’s (9th) (TT) and K9isadog (8th) (TT).

101 min: Absea98 (7th) has to go with two pair, but Derf-63 has trips.
107 min: A SS T3chlady (6th) has to go with (Qd Td) but is beaten by Lump2’s (A9).
120 min: Theedouble*d’s (5th) two pair loses to Deff-63’s trips.

2nd break;
Suetman123 9593
Lump2 7509
Pre01 5327
Derf-63 4571

125 min: Derf-63’s (4th) (Ad 6d) loses to Pre01’s (99).
126 min: Lump2 (3rd) loses to Pre01’s Aces.

Heads up: Pre01 18000 - Suetman123 9000

130 min: Pre01 16900 - Suetman123 10100
135 min: Pre01 19400 - Suetman123 7600
140 min: Pre01 23500 - Suetman123 2500

142 min: A SS Suetman123 (2nd) has to go when she pairs her [7] on the flop. But Pre01 paired his [T].

Congratulations to Pre01 on his 2nd NPP win!

1st – Pre01
2nd – Suetman123
3rd – Lump2
4th – Derf-63
5th – Theedouble*d
6th – T3chlady
7th – Absea98
8th – K9isadog
9th – KingBing420
10th – LittleRedElf
11th – Tomservo2
12th – 8thmile
13th – Mikeniks-Faldo
14th – 95corolla
15th – Douge2
16th – Sanster89
17th – Cpadanj
18th - ThePunk75

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Faldo's Internet Record in February Not So Much

Ashley was unimpressed with Faldo to say the least.

Only 2 final tables reached with a 2nd and a 4th. I guess 2 FT's in only 36 tournaments is not too shabby. And they were high finishes instead of the usual 9th or 10th Faldo is famous for. The number of players in the tournaments I made the final tables on were around 250 players each.

It was the SNG performance in February that leaves Faldo wondering what is going on?

Although Faldo cashed at a nice rate [14 of 30], there was only ONE win in February! Not good. Even by pure luck, you would think there would be 3 wins out of 15 top threes.

Before hitting the proverbial panic button, let's see what March brings. Maybe the wins will come. I'm due.

But as the old saying goes, "Nothing is due.....but the rent."

Friday, March 02, 2012

Douge2’s Humor Corner – in Honor of the Golf Show this Weekend

Dead Parrot

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. "
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."


"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit."

Golf Quotes from Bigbrimar

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them
~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par..
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis

Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H G Wells
[This is a lie or Bigbrimar would be on the Tour!]

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino