Friday, September 30, 2016

Derf-63 Wins for the 5th Time in 2016

Irina Shayk waits for Derf-63 in the NPP lounge.
Derf-63 played aggressive all night, and hit the hands when needed. This win will get him back into the race for the 4th quarter seat in the NPP Final

2nd - T3chlady
3rd - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Absea98

No one is running away with this quarter and there are plenty of rounds left. Do yourself a favor and settle in for some great poker action on Tuesday evening and be here at NPP on!

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 28th NPP win!

Now for some levity from Douge2:

A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. 

Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the damn ball!”

The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Forget it, man,” says his partner. “You’ll never hit her from here.”


A hack golfer spent a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddie. 

Being a poor golfer, he played badly all day. Getting close to the end of his round, the golfer spotted a lake off to the left of the fairway.

He looked at the caddie and said, “I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”

The caddied looked back at him and said, “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”


Blue Lives Matter:

A police officer called his dispatcher from his radio:

"I have an interesting case here. A little old lady just shot her husband for walking on the floor she just finished mopping."

The dispatcher said, "Is the woman in custody? Do you need back-up."

The officer stated, "No she is not. And yes, I require back up. But they don't have to hurry. The floor won't be dry for a little while yet."



This guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after enjoying a day of golf. 
His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade.

"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a f****** mess, and the dishes aren't done. 

I'm completely exhausted!  I didn't get enough sleep last night.   Can't you see I'm still in my f****** pajamas?? 

I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!   

Why the h*** did you bring him home without letting me know ahead of time, you stupid idiot?"

The man says, "Because he's thinking of getting married..."

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

T3chlady Wins for the 1st Time in 2016

T3chlady on the the felt taking down pots from the mopes.
The Lovely Lady from Ann Arbor takes out NPP's finest tonight in a field of 12 players. She is now in the running for the 4th quarter seat in the NPP Finals and is locking down a back up plan with a Total Points seat.

She has the 4th quarter seat now as Faldo is a wild-card and does not 'take' a seat when he wins a seat. So just ignore Faldo.

All the women do.

2nd - Absea98
3rd - 95corolla
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - LittleRedElf

And now a touching story:

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together, of course was perfect.
One snowy stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road.
Then they noticed someone on the side of the road in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor?

The answer in the comments.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Faldo Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016 - FBI Investigation Started!

Mrs. Faldo after hearing the answer to her question of .."I married who??"
Good luck with that. We see how good they are at their job.

Anyway, Faldo hot - carded his way to a victory over a field of eleven this round. He takes the lead in the 4th quarter. Not to worry folks. Faldo had the lead at some point in the other three quarters and did not hang on.

The 4th quarter is up for grabs - so we will see you Tuesday night!

2nd - Tigercub8189
3rd - Theedouble*d
Bubble - Johnnied55

Now for the last segment of Rules for Men:

21. Unless you are in prison, never fight naked.

22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

23. If a buddy is out-numbered, out manned or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last few hours his actions have caused you to think "this guy needs an ass-whippin'", then you may sit back and enjoy.

24. Never join your wife/girlfriend in dissing a buddy, except if she is withholding sex until you agree with her.

25. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: either both urinating or both in line. In all situations, a nod is all the conversation required.

26. Before allowing your drunk buddy to cheat on his wife/girlfriend, you must attempt at least one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye and tell you to "get lost", then you are absolved of all responsibility.

27. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken, monkey sex, the fact that you are feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was and how it will never happen again.

28. Never ask to ride another man's Harley. You have a better chance asking to ride his wife/girlfriend.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

With a Change of Political Parties at the Top, the USA Can Return to the Top

We are still the best country, but .....somehow......the citizens of this country used the excuse of proving color - blindness to elect an enemy of the Constitution to the highest office in the land.

Not a peep from any Democrat about the dismantling of our country and very little resistance by the Republicans.

Now the Democrats are running a treasonous crook and liar for President - 1st term - and her rapist husband for a third term. Not a peep from any Democrat and attacks by top Republicans only hitting the Republican nominee for President. Not a peep by top Republicans aimed at the real enemy of the Constitution of the United States - the entire Democrat Party.

As we remember the attack to our country 15 years ago, remember which party backs a President openly ignoring the laws of this country on immigration. Remember which party backs a nominee for president that sells USA favors from her office for profit, places national security secrets on an illegal email server, lies to the faces of the American people, lies to the FBI and Congress - and is still walking the streets as a candidate for our land's highest office.

If you vote Democrat - your are either a completely lazy and ignorant person who will not look at facts, a mentally ill person who is delusional and cannot see or understand facts, or a traitor to the United States of America. And that is a fact.

Wednesday, September 07, 2016

Theedouble*d Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016 - Tomservo2 Wins 3rd Quarter!

One for each of the two 1st place winners - DD and Tom! Congratulations guys!
Inquiring minds want to know - who got the blonde? DD or Tom?

It was a 'must point' night for Tomservo2, Derf-63 and Faldo. Tomservo2 got it done! Congratulations Tom!

Theedouble*d went thru a 12 player minefield of great and determined players to win this one.

Faldo is not aware of what happened to Derf-63, but the DD had AA when Faldo read DD's possible hand wrong (yeah, big surprise there) with QQ. Well played DD.

Congratulations to Theedouble*d on his 21st win!

Now more Man Rules:

11. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask permission and he is required to grant it.

12. Women who claim they like to watch sports are to be treated as spies until they demonstrate actual knowledge of the game and players, AND only get refills and snacks during commercials.

13. The universal payment for buddy's who help you move is beer and pizza.

14. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriend within 30 minutes of them meeting.

15. You are not required to bond with your girlfriend's friends boyfriend if he is a dickhead. Low level sports bonding is all that is required.

16. When stumbling upon other guys watching sports, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but never ask who is playing.

17. When your girlfriend/wife wants to fix her friend up with your buddy, you may give permission only if you have warned your buddy so he can prepare his story about joining the priesthood.

18. The only time a guy can drink a fruity-chick drink is when you are sunning on a tropical beach and it is delivered by a topless supermodel.....and it is free. Only THEN!

19. You may reach and take the last beer or the last slice of pizza - but not both.

20. Phrases that may not be uttered when spotting a guy weightlifting:
"Yeah man, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more - harder!"
"One more set, then we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass. Are you a Sagittarius?"

Monday, September 05, 2016

ThePunk75 Wins for the 8th Time in 2016!

ThePunk75 has one for every NPP win!
Obviously The Punk is now at another level! Although eight wins in a season is not a record (11 is by Rounder in 2007), it is the third most ever in a season! He ties 7Jokers for third, who also had 8 wins in 2007.
Rounder in 2007 had 11 wins!
Lump2 has the 2nd most wins in a season with 9 in 2012.

LittleRedElf (2009), Douge2 (2014), and Rjmech (2013) are in 4th (or 5th if you want to be picky) with 7 wins in a season.

But keep in mind, the fields were usually a little smaller and may not be as tough as they are now. But....then again, we had a lot of strong players back then also, so even wading thru them in a sit-n-go was no easy task.

Oh to have the great ones of the past return to do battle with the stars of today! It would be great poker - and Faldo might as well retire to the rail and watch the action from a safe distance!

There are 50 rounds in a season and winning 15% or 20% of the tournaments is quite a feat!

But back to this past week, the top dogs are fighting it out to get the 3rd seat in the NPP final. ThePunk75 would be leading this quarter too, but he already has a seat so we move to the next set of players:

2nd - Derf-63 (3rd in the 3rd quarter race)
3rd - Tomservo2 (2nd in the 3rd quarter race)
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo (1st in the 3rd quarter race)
Bubble - LittleRedElf (4th place in the 3rd quarter race)

Keep in mind that Faldo is a wildcard so if he hangs on to the lead, the 2nd place person also gets a seat! Right now it is a 3 horse race to the wire with ONE round remaining!

Be here next week for the exciting conclusion to the 3rd quarter! You can practice up or pick up much needed Totals points as maybe as many as two players will exit that list also with seats already locked up!

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 32nd NPP win!

The Man Code - Part I of III

1. Thou shall not watch chick flicks. If forced to in order to score, look at your date's legs or boobs the entire movie. She will know you are "into her". Or want to be.

2. Under no circumstanced to two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who takes pictures at the bachelor party can be legally killed.

4. When you are asked as to the whereabouts of a buddy's wife, girlfriend, or girlfriends, mistresses, mother, priest, shrink, accountant, the IRS, the police or doctor, you may not provide any useful information. You are permitted to deny his very existence!

5. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail your buddy out of jail within 24 hours.

6. If you go hunting, fishing, golfing, bowling, play in a weekly/monthly poker game, go to a pro or college sports event - more than once - or have more than 12 beers total with any guy - his mother, wife, girlfriends, sisters and nieces are OFF LIMITS! Cousins are still in play.

7. If a guy is more than 5 minutes late, you are no longer required to wait. He knows this. For a woman you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of HOTNESS you awarded her.

8. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. However, if the temperature is not suitable, you may bitch and the beer doesn't count as a solid.

9. No man should ever buy another man a birthday present. It's considered very optional and even slightly gay. Birthday shots are permitted.

10. Talking to the "6" or lower friend of the hot girl your buddy is hitting on is your legal duty as a man.

More next time.