Saturday, November 20, 2010

Douge2's Humor Corner LV

A Helping Hand for a Friend

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to
the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver,
she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that
this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to
take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached
behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second
time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to
unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her
picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the
step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and
yelled, How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who
you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would
agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda
figured we was friends.'

The Economy is so bad…

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Goldman-Sax laid off 25 Democrat Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madof scandal. Oh great!! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $2.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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