Saturday, September 10, 2011

Douge2’s Humor Corner – Doctor Visits

If Annette Melton is what a biker chick looks like...Faldo is heading to the nearest Schwinn dealer!

I’ll Bet Blackbeard Never Had This Problem

A young woman goes to her doctor's office, afraid of the strange development on the inside of her thighs . . . a green spot on the inside of each.

"They won't wash off, they won't scrape off and they seem to be getting worse."

The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and tells her not to worry until the tests come back.

A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots.

The doctor says, "You're perfectly healthy - - there's no problem. But I'm wondering, is your boyfriend a Harley guy?"

The woman stammers, "Why, yes, but how did you know?"

"Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

The Full Latte

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?,” asked the doctor

“Not a chance”, she said. “He won't even take an aspirin.”

“Not a problem,” replied the doctor. “Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.”

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!”

“Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.

“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a
nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”

“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor, “Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?”

“Freakin' jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”

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