Sunday, November 25, 2007

Collusion Hand at Poker Stars?

Poker Stars investigated and said there was no problem here. They said this rotten play is typical at the ridiculously low stakes I was playing at for my attempt at 24 hours of poker. (Where am I supposed to play at when drunk and tired? Heads up against Negreanu?)

I am UTG, down 3 units on a very loose Limit Holdem table. Every pot has been raises pre-flop.
I have (Ad 3d), so I limp in looking for a score.

D'Goose (DG - 3s 2s)) raises and quickmove in the small blind re-raises (QM - Tc 4d).

Rafton calls from the BB, which makes me call, but DG caps it and four of us see the flop.

[2c 3c 9s]

If I could have seen the cards these Bozos were holding, I would of thought Poker Stars was in on the scam. Who raises and caps with these two hands unless they know what the flop will be? But let's assume for the sake of poker players everywhere that it is my usual bad luck and not Poker Stars that is setting me up for a fall here.

QM bets, rafton and I call, DG rightfully raises, and we all call. I don't know this of course but what the hell is QM betting for and more importantly, why is he calling?

Turn [5d]

Again, if I could see the cards held, I would swear PS is trying to kill me outright. Now QM, who I think is artificially pumping the pot for his buddy, gets a straight draw.

QM of course bets, rafton and I call, DG rightfully raises and QM re-raises!

Rafton folds and I should too. Especially since - and I don't know this but can quess - I could be (am) drawing dead.

Of course I don't know what they have but I type, "Are you two playing together?" I think for a while and decide the tiny amount of money is worth seeing what these strokes are up to - so I call.

DG caps and the three of us see the river.

[2h]

Glad to see that PS is so honest that they can unknowingly reward cheaters and drop perfect cards in their laps - runner, runner no less.

QM checks (my comment put the brakes on him, and besides he knows his buddy hit the full house), I check, DG bets and QM calls (????) and I call and lose.

I type "I'm reporting you two right now." QM says, "Shut up Wanker", but DG leaves the table immediately and QM leaves after one more hand.

Poker Stars reported back to me that, "this type of weak play (did they mean mine? - lol) is common at those stakes. We looked and found that these two have played together at the same table three other times and see no evidence of collusion cheating - but simply a rivalry."

Cost me four units (which I win back later times 25!) to get the lowdown on these two.

What do you guys think?

8 comments:

Matchy said...

I agree, I think you are a wanker!

I bet there was collusion, how easy would it be to talk on the phone while playing. A little birdy told me a couple of NPP guys have done it (not against us).

Anonymous said...

You know what I think. Pokerstars can go fuck themselves.

Herbavor

Anonymous said...

Pokertars can blow me

Nik Faldo said...

I see Poker Stars is getting all the love.

To be fair, I have heard some horror stories on every site out there and suffered my share of pure robbery on a few of them.

Anonymous said...

The guy palying 32 must be in so deep to pokerstars that the software decided it was time to take chips from others (you) and give them to him. The knucklehead with T4 had little reason to call the river other than forcing his buddies' full house to be exposed so you could see that he had a good hand and wouldn't report them. And that he had a draw and an overcard. Could you imagine losing a few grand on this play, online

Nik Faldo said...

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up --fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear.

Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "he works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I wasctoo embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Nik Faldo said...

The Scotsman

A Scotsman walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?

"Are you nuts?!!!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

So the Scotsman runs around the next block and faces her again ; "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000
dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars; Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there .."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them,
burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", says the Scotsman... "Costs too much..."

Anonymous said...

I was involved in a collusion hand on Bodog a few years back. I don't remember the details of the hand but I knew something was screwy. I continued playing and when I logged back in for my next session I got a message and the total amount of my buy in for the sit-n-go.

jim (aka farrell17)