Tomservo2 Wins His 8th and Greggst49 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2017

Tomservo2 and Greggst49 are putting the hurt to the rest of the NPP field.

Hail to the guys with the victories! Tomservo2 continues to win (even though he doesn't need to).

2nd - GMOgolf
3rd - T3chlady
4th - KingBing420
5th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Rachael0388

And Greggst49 stopped by to win for the 2nd time this year.

2nd - Douge2
3rd - Tigercub8189
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble -GMOgolf

It will be an exciting final quarter in the NPP league. Come on by on Tuesday and get in the game!

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 29th NPP win!
Congratulations to Greggst49 on his 2nd NPP win!

Now for more humor from Douge2:

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

My wife was at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed, he's my old boyfriend. He began drinking right after we split up years ago, and hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

Sanster89 Wins for the 1st Time in 2017 - KingBing420 Clinches 3rd Seat in NPP Final!

Even Lacey Jones is floored by Sanster89's poker skills.

Sanster89 got it done this round against a big field. His victory with KingBing420's 2nd place finish made her impossible to catch for the 3rd quarter.

2nd - KingBing420
3rd - LittleRedElf
4th - Johnnied55
5th - 95corolla
Bubble - Absea98

Congratulations to Sanster89 on his 4th NPP win!

And congratulations to KingBing420 on winning the 2017 third quarter!

Now a little levity from Douge2:

HOW FIGHTS START: 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

______________________________ 

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said,'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

KingBing420 Wins for the 7th Time in 2017

Joanna Krupa has nothing on KingBing420

The lady is killing the field right now. Who can stop this? Faldo can't as his jinx fears were realized again last week.

But Faldo (sob) will not complain (whining quietly) or moan (sob again) about bad beats (WHY ME!) as all mature poker players (SO UNFAIR!!) realize that this is (SOB!) part of the game.

Talent eventually wins out (Faldo has no chance!).

2nd - GMOgolf
3rd - Sanster89
4th - Derf-63
Bubble - Tigercub8189

Now for some general thoughts from Faldo.

Faldo always carries a pen and paper around with him in case Faldo thinks of a good idea. Or if Faldo forgets the pen and paper, Faldo convinces Faldo that the idea was not good enough to write down in the first place.

Anyone notice that when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, we moved the people made homeless to Houston. Now Hurricane Harvey hit Houston. Can we send those same people to California ....PLEASE! Or send some to California, some to Iran, some to North Korea and some to Afghanistan. Send a few to Bernie Sanders house. Send some to the MSNBC and CNN studios too. Lets use our natural resources wisely.

Sometimes Faldo has remembered his pen and paper at the wrong times.

Faldo bought a parrot that the pet store owner swore could talk. It died and when Faldo took it back to the store the owner swore the death was Faldo's fault and would not give a refund. It was not Faldo's fault that the parrot never said it was hungry or thirsty.

Faldo likes rice. Rice is great when you are both hungry and you want 3000 of something.

Faldo used to drink. Faldo still does drink, but he used to also.

Faldo loves escalators because even when they breakdown, they still become stairs.

Faldo used to be a hot tar roofer in Florida. That was a tough career path for that day.

Faldo did a 'solid' and helped a friend 'stay put.' Faldo made sure he did not start loading things into a U-haul.

Faldo was at a casino leaning against a door jam. A security guard said, "Sir, you have to move. You are blocking a fire exit." What was the point of that? Like Faldo was not going to move if there was a fire?

Faldo was handed a picture of a girl who said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Isn't every picture a picture of us when we were younger?

When people hand you a flyer they are really saying, "Here - you throw this away."

KingBing420 Wins for 6th Time - Absea98 for the 1st Time in 2017

Its go time. The second Civil War has started whether you participate or not.

Sorry for the double post as this new venture of Faldo's takes more time than a regular job.

Note to self: If you ever want to work for a slave driver, start your own business.

Anyway, two weeks ago KingBing420 took out a field of 13:
2nd - Douge2
3rd - Absea98
4th - Tomservo2
Bubble - Mikeniks-Faldo
(and mark my words, the PokerStars gods will have it in for Faldo the rest of the way this season. He looked some gift points in the mouth. Faldo took an unnecessary to get knocked out before Tomservo2 just blinded out. Watch and see if the cards do not have a memory of this the rest of the way this season. Faldo will have trouble making a final table from here on out. Put a fork in Faldo the rest of the season. Not superstition. It's called Karma.)

Last week, a familiar face to the winner's circle finally returned as Absea98 took out a field of 15:
2nd - Douge2
3rd -Sanster89
4th -Wingsfancurt
5th - KingBing420
Bubble - GMOgolf

Congratulations to KingBing420 on her 8th NPP win.
Congratulations to Absea98 on his 15th NPP win.

Now some Faldo odds and ends:

 How about these quotes:

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford (noted inventor of the automobile, the factory assembly line, a successful business man, oh and a devout Nazi, Jew hater and Democrat.)

Oh, you mean like blaming karma for future defeats at poker? Like taking your eye off the goal? Like that?

"Life is like a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can." - Danny Kaye, comedian.

He is correct and Faldo tries to do just that.

"I cannot give you the formula for success. I can give you the absolute perfect formula for failure however; try to please everyone." - Herbert Bayard Swope

Right on. Faldo never tries to please everyone (although most thinking people are pleased with Faldo), which is why Faldo needs to mention a few things now about the events of the last two weeks (even though this will not please everyone):

If you don't think the second Civil War in the United States has started - by the losers of the last presidential election - then you are not paying attention. The war is on.

Its going to be a strange war, with Democrats allowed to riot, kill cops and assist, protect and promote people who violate our federal laws - all without the police or authorities doing anything to stop it.

But when the conservatives and patriots have had enough of their rights and property trampled on by the Democrat communists, and begin to retaliate, THEN and only then, will the police and authorities crack down - ON THE CONSERVATIVES AND PATRIOTS.

Faldo has written this, so let it be said and so it shall be.
Just a prediction as reliable as truth unfortunately.
This civil war was started by the Democrats in order to declare Marshall Law and crack down on our Bill of Rights and the Constitution.
This last election of Czar Hillary was suppose to take care of that
And neither the Democrats or Republicans can believe the American people stood up and stopped it.
Neither party has recovered from the shock. It has exposed that both parties are ...well, both parties.

Anyone wonder why the main stream media and Democrats (same thing) are throwing a fit over the death of one female illegal demonstrator (key word in there is 'demon'), when the perpetrator is captured and justice will be served? Meanwhile police officers are being murdered by the dozens by left wing communists (Democrats, paid for by Democrats) and not a word of outrage?

Anyone wonder why the police let the Democrat communist rioters get close enough to attack the skinheads? The skinheads -whether you agree with them or not (Faldo does not!) - had a permit to assemble and had peaceably. It was the Democrat communist protestors that were there illegally, but were allow to amass and march towards the skinheads unabated by the police. A police chief and a mayor need to be fired and/or removed from office.

But the Civil War must get rolling according to the Democrats.

Anyone wonder why Democrat communist thugs can tear down statues and riot, while the police do nothing?

Anyone wonder why Debbie Wasserman Schultz is not in jail for her treasonous acts?
Anyone wonder why Loretta Lynch, Susan Rice, Hillary Clinton, and Uma Aberdeine are not in prison for their treasonous acts?

Anyone wonder why the Republicans are missing in action pushing thru the Trump agenda the American people sent Trump there to accomplish?

We have a banana republic for a government - especially since the election of Obama. Hillary was suppose to be the final nail in the coffin for our Constitution.

The Democrats won't wait 8 years to fix another election. They want a war.

Another quote; "The tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of patriots and tyrants from time to time." - Thomas Jefferson

He's right. If the Democrats want to rock, Faldo says ...."Let's roll."

Douge2 Wins for the 4th Time in 2017

Four cheers for Douge2!

Faldo missed the festivities due to a family get together for Faldo's 26th birthday - or was it 62nd? Either way Faldo is 86 physically and 6 maturity level.

Douge2 took care of business and here are the other point getters and notable finisher:
2nd - GMOgolf
3rd - Absea98
4th - LittleRedElf
Bubble - 95corolla

Congratulations to Douge2 on his 26th NPP win and moving up the Walk of Fame!

Now for a little news in case you missed it - and if you watch the main stream media, you did:

Hillary Clinton used the State Department as her own 'pay to play' money making scheme. She sold out the United States for cash and did it on an unsecured server exposing national secrets to the world. She is still walking the streets and pedaling a book someone else wrote for her.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz had a Pakistani national as her computer guru. She gave him access to US government files and secrets, allowed him to make around $4 million in a house trading ponzi scheme defraudiing banks, and kept him on the payroll even after there was a warrant for his arrest. This is the woman that also help rig the Democrat presidential primary so that an admitted socialist/communist Bernie Sanders would not win the nomination for president. She is still walking the streets.

James Commie, the fired FBI director leaked classified information to the media. He also disclosed the crimes of Hillary Clinton and told the world that "he and no reasonable person" would prosecute her for obvious crimes against the United State. He is now peddling a book instead of being arrested for treason.

Members of the Obama Administration - too numerous to name - have all been exposed to have committed crimes against the United States or its citizens, and are still walking the streets.

Meanwhile the Republican Party continues to aid and abet the Democrats in eliminating United States sovereignty and begin a one - government world, while ignoring the citizens of the United States and what they demanded in the last election; i.e, closed borders, tax cuts, repealing Obamacare, fixing the VA, building the Wall and rebuilding our military.

Politicians are above the law unless the main stream media says it is OK to prosecute. Then only conservatives can be prosecuted.

Welcome to the Banana Republic of the Divided States!

KingBing420 Wins Twice in a Row!

Erika Mountinho has nothing on KingBing420

Planting herself right into the 3rd quarter race for the seat in the NPP final! Let's look at the people left in her dust as she vanquished a twelve and a thirteen player field for the wins!

1st Victory:
2nd - 95corolla
3rd - GMOgolf
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Derf-63

2nd Victory:
2nd - LittleRedElf
3rd - GMOgolf
4th - T3chlady
Bubble - Mikeniks-Faldo

Congratulations to KingBing420 on her 9th and 10th NPP victory and for moving up the Walk of Fame!

Now some quotes from a Founding Father - Thomas Jefferson.

"When we get piled up upon one another in large cities - like in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe."

And where are the corrupt liberal-Democrat-Communist cesspools located? Tom and Faldo rest our case.

"The republic will cease to exist whey you take money away from those willing to work and give it to those who will not."

Ya think?

"I predict future happiness for this country if the citizens can prevent the government from wasting the labor of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."

Well, that kind of puts 'free' healthcare, drug laws, and welfare into the bucket of slavery doesn't it?

"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government is the result of too much government."

And history repeats itself.

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves from the tyranny of government."

This explains the hatred for the 2nd Amendment by the liberal-Democrat-Communists.

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

It's delayed slightly, but this time is fast approaching. You will soon have to decide if you are a patriot or a subject. Just look at how the Democrats and most of the Republicans are acting. The people's wishes are being ignored.

Once the government controls and decides if you are getting healthcare - or not, they got you under their boot. Keep that in mind when you listen to the "Replace" part of the current discussion.

Obamacare or Trumpcare is still tyranny.

Tomservo2 Wins for the 7th Time in 2017

Tomservo2 is just too cool under pressure.

Tomservo2 is the man this year! His seventh victory of the season! He is winning even though he already has a seat in the NPP final. Competitors need to compete and he is just doing what he does - play great poker!

2nd - T3chlady
3rd - Mikeniks-Faldo
4th - GMOgolf
Bubble - Absea98

Congratulation to Tomservo2 on his 28th NPP win!

Now for a dose of Faldo truth:

I have been quiet on the political scene lately. I didn't feel the need to say much since our country came to it's senses in the nick of time.God's hand was in the Trump victory. He and He alone got the Democrats to run the second worst candidate they have ever ran (Obama was easily the worst), the most crooked candidate they ever ran (and that took some doing), the laziest candidate they ever ran and the most conceded.

Then God got enough sane Americans to ignore the fake polls produced by the communist United States press corps and get out and vote anyway.

Then God had to make sure the voter cheating by the Democrats was not enough to overcome real voting.

God did not have to make the Democrats lazy and arrogant - they are that all by themselves. But with victory assured, they simply did not cheat well enough. But God did get the American vote out. And for that we should thank God daily.

In Faldo's never humble opinion, Donald Trump has been given the 'talking to.' He has been told how things really are, how they will be and how his Secret Service detail can have a lapse at any time - either around him or any or all of his family.

This is the reason Donald Trump is not doing what the man that got elected said he was going to do - "DRAIN THE SWAMP". It is the reason the President is not:

• calling every Republican out "by name" that will not vote to repeal Obamacare
• calling every Republican out "by name" who will not pass the promised tax cuts and simplifications
• never allow or fire the special prosecutor the minute he was appointed
• order the wall built immediately.

President Trump can leave it to Faldo to say some of the truths he cannot say as the President of every citizen of the United States. And that is:

•  Every Democrat is a socialist or communist and a traitor to the United States
• Every journalist is a socialist, communist, traitor to the United States or a useful idiot tool used by the Democrats. 
• Every citizen still voting Democrat is a socialist, communist, traitor to the United States or a useful idiot tool used by the Democrats. 

Either way these Democrats and their voters are enemies of the Constitution of the United States and therefore enemies of this country.

Faldo admits some are just weak, scared, lazy and dumb people who are scared to death that they cannot be self sufficient or survive on their own. They need the government 'nanny' the Democrats always promise. What they fail to realize is the Democrats - just like the Devil - take away their freedom, their self respect, their futures and their freedoms for the handouts.

Our nation was formed by people fleeing the type of government the Democrats are trying to put in.

But I digress. It is painfully obvious the Democrats and most of the Republicans ARE the swamp. Trump now realizes how far gone this country is. All he can do is delay the inevitable. UNLESS -

the American voter can replace current Republicans at primary time with real conservatives.

What are the chances of that?

God - we need your help yet again.

Derf-63 Wins Two (Wins Five and Six of 2017)!

Derf-63 wins two!

Somebody is trying to capture the 3rd quarter of the NPP seat chase early. But the joke is on Derf-63 because he already has a seat in the NPP final by winning the FIRST time in this streak.
Ha-ha - the joke is on Derf. We are letting him win......I hope!
Hopefully he will take it easy on the rest of us and let us have a little glory. Or.....probably not!

Two weeks ago:
2nd - LittleRedElf
3rd - Tomservo2
4th - Mikeniks_Faldo
Bubble - Tigercub8189

Last week:
2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - Sanster89
Bubble - Absea98

So the race for the 3rd quarter seat is still open. Please ignore the mean spirited Derf-63 as he has the nerve to continually show us how much of a better poker player he is than the rest of us.
Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 34th and 35th NPP victories!

Now for a glimpse into the scientific world:

Scientists for Health in Canada suggested than men should take a look at their beer consumption. Recent analysis of beer suggests a presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that men drinking beer will cause then to develop female traits.

Many men's clubs disputed this claim and volunteered for testing.

So 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was observed that 100% of the men:

Gained weight
Talked excessively without making any sense
Became overly emotional
Could not drive
Failed to think rationally
Argued over nothing
and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

LittleRedElf Wins for the 5th time in 2017

LittleRedElf is flooring the competition ....and his fans!

LittleRedElf, back from a nice run in a World Series of Poker event, returns to NPP to show us who "da man" is!

The winning-est player in NPP history takes the first tourney of the 3rd quarter. But he did so last quarter before being run down by Derf-63. Plenty of time left to win a seat in the NPP final. Come and join us for the best online tournament in the world.

2nd - Tomservo2 (Tom continues to crush us!)
3rd - 95corolla
4th - TooBigAKQ
Bubble - who else? Mikeniks-Faldo

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 36th NPP win!

And now the last of Murphy's Laws:

Never argue with a fool. People may not know the difference.

A penny saved.....is not worth very much.

Every home repair or improvement you try and do will take twice the time you thought it would, cost three times more than you thought it would and not be near as nice as you hoped it would be.

The chances of being seen by someone who knows you are dramatically increased by your desire to not be seen by anyone who knows you.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Everything good in life is illegal, immoral, fattening or unhealthy.

Derf-63 Wins, then Douge2 Wins - but Derf-63 Wins 2nd Quarter!

The Derf-n-Douge Fan Club at the After Party Party in an unnamed NPP suite.

Faldo apologizes for not posting in a timely matter. Several life things came up; severe cold, doctor visits, busy work schedule that had to be made up, golf vacation, then more work that had to be made up, blah, blah, blah.

It's called life and we don't always get to do what we want to do.

Unless of course you are an illegal alien or a Bernie Sanders/Hillary Clinton supporter - who are all  law breakers and enemies of the Constitution of the United States. Then you get free reign to break laws, riot, bomb, and shoot and kill people.

But I digress. Where was Faldo?

Oh, poker supremacy. Right.

2 weeks ago:
1st - Derf-63
2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - GMOgolf
Bubble - T3chlady

Last week:
1st - Douge2
2nd -KingBing420
3rd - Absea98
Bubble - T3chlady (two in a row? Ouch Lady! Faldo thought only Faldo did that.)

That was Douge2's 3rd win of the season and his 25th NPP win of all time. Congratualtions!
That was Derf-63's 4th win of the season, 3rd this quarter - which is why he won the 2nd quarter! - and his 33rd win of all time!

Congratulations to Derf-63 on both accomplishments!

I also need to add that if eligible for this quarter - Tomservo2 would have won back to back quarters!!
Great job Tomservo2!

Now more of Murphy's Laws:

You can never be too rich or too good looking.

Anything dropped while repairing a car will immediately roll to the center most area where you cannot reach it.

Every repairman will never have seen the model you have, the problem you have or have the part you need with him.

A faulty appliance when demonstrated for the repairman - will work flawlessly.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and an idiot something to stick in his mouth.

Never eat yellow snow.

In any big company, every individual will rise to his level of complete incompetence - and will be left there.

If everything appears to be going well for you, then you obviously don't realize what is going on.

If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation or flat out deception, then no one will be at fault (can you spell Congress?).

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

Tomservo2 Wins for the 6th Time in 2017

The rest of NPP has started to drink heavily to ease their pain of Tomservo2 beat down.

Well Tomservo2 is on pace to set a record for season wins. And please don't tell the leaders for the 2nd quarter seat that they would be a distant second to Tomservo2 if he was eligible for this quarter. After all, he already won the 1st quarter.

2nd - LittleRedElf
3rd - Derf-63
4th - GMOgolf
Bubble - Mikeniks-Faldo

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 27th NPP win!

Now some more of Murphy's Laws:

Celibacy is not hereditary.

Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

The chance of a jelly covered piece of bread falling face down on the carpet is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

No matter how long you shop for an item you want, the price will drop right after you purchase it.

No one's life, liberty or property is safe when Congress is in session.

The other line always moves faster.

Anything you try to do yourself will cost way more and take way longer than you ever thought it would.

A $1000 television will burn up in order to protect a $1 fuse or $10 plug surge protector.

If it jams or is stuck, force it with a hammer if necessary. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.

Little Red Elf Wins for the 4th Time in 2017

An Elf groupie waits for him in his NPP suite.

Faldo lost heads up again to LittleRedElf. Faldo is changing his handle to CantBeattheElf!
And of course the Elf moves into the race for the second quarter seat! Good luck to the rest of the field as we are going to need it!

2nd - Cant Beat the Elf - Mike Niks-Faldo
3rd - Tigercub8189
4th - Tomservo2
Bubble - T3chlady

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 35th NPP win.

Now some more laws from Murphy:

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

An Ounce of Image is Worth a Pound of Performance.

You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

There's never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over.

When is trouble, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

It is morally wrong to let a sucker keep his money.

A bird in hand is safer than a bird overhead.

The light at the end of the tunnel is usually an oncoming freight train.

More next week.

Derf-63 Wins for the 3rd Time in 2017

Derf-63's poker skills are flooring his groupies back in his NPP hotel suite.

This aggressive player you can never count out. His all or nothing style serves him well enough on this night - beating a field of 13 players.

2nd - Sanster89
3rd - TooBIGAKQ
4th - Douge2
Bubble - LittleRedElf

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 32nd NPP win!

Now a few other laws from Murphy:

No good deed goes unpunished.

Leakproof seals will, self starters will not, interchangable parts won't.

Nature is a mother.

90% of everything is crap.

Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit.

Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.

If you try and please everyone, it will please no one.

You will always find something in the last place you look.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible moment.

Every solution brings a whole new set of problems.

More next week.

Theedouble*d Wins for the 1st Time in 2017

Theedouble*d floors Melanie Adams with his skills - poker and otherwise.

Theedouble*d just let the rest of the NPP stable not to forget about him.......as he is 'still heeeerrrrr.'
He defeats a field of 14 to get back in the 2nd quarter race.

2nd - Tomservo2
3rd - T3chlady
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Sanster89

Congratulations to Theedouble*d on his 23rd NPP win!

Now for a religious lesson:

A Girl's Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray Lord you find me a man who is not a creep.
One who is handsome, smart and strong,
And he has a willy that is thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait weeks.
I pray that is is gainfully employed.
And when I spend his cash he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh send me a man who will make love to my mind.
And knows what to say when I ask, "How is my behind?"
One who will make love til my body is twitchin,
In the hall, the loo, the garden and the kitchen.
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempt to sleep with my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I listen to the snoring of the idiot you sent me instead.
Amen

A Boy's Prayer

Lord,
I pray for a girl with big boobs!
Amen