Sunday, July 24, 2011

Random Questions Answered by Faldo – Part VII

What is your dream date?

See picture.

Actually, dinner and a sports event. Movies are too loud and have too many commercials. And you cannot chat during a movie.

What are three tips you can give men concerning women?

1) With men it is “yes” or “no.” With women, it is “maybe,” “maybe not” or “not if he was the last man on earth.” If she is talking to you at all, you are a maybe.

2) You are the means to THEIR end. Period. Women are survivors. They can handle pain, misery and survival much better than men. It’s genetic.

3) If you saw it, she wanted you to see it. It is almost never an “accident”.

What is or what was your favorite dance craze?

Total nude strip clubs in Canada.

What is the last thing you do before you go to bed?

Pray…for better flops, better putting and cigar sales on-line.

Who do you have a celebrity crush on?

Nobody. But once upon a time, Susan Saint James, Raquel Welch and Stevie Nicks. I also had man love for John Wayne, Dean Martin and Paul Newman. They were a man’s man.

What do you watch on TV at 2 in the morning?

No longer up at 2am. If I am, I’ll be passing out soon. But if I still awake at that time, I would hunt for a good old movie or sit-com. Ok, I lied, porn. Actually, the first answer is true. I want to be fully awake for porn.

What is the definition of sexy to Nik Faldo?

Short skirts and dresses. I’m a leg man.

What are you emotionally allergic to?

Hypocrisy and ignorance, meaning liberals.

Are cows a friend or foe?

Just asking me that would have me worried about the person who asked me that (see allergy above). A cow is a friend, a very good friend. Especially cooked medium with a baked potato, a blue-cheese wedge salad and a Guinness.

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