We all Do it #1

We can't help it. It's in our jeans to do it.

ThePunk75 Wins Again! Takes Control of the 1st Quarter Lead

It’s been a walk on the beach for ThePunk75!

ThePunk’s performance moves into 7Jokers-LittleRedElf-K9isadog-Doneill-Hlam’s rare-ified air! Two wins in a row and a victory in three of the last four! Well done Punk!

The other eighteen players either had bad luck or some bad karma. Your host just played badly. But the NPP family has to be happy with the turnout. It is a nice, solid night of poker.

Come on and join us in two weeks! We are taking February 14th off for obvious reasons.

This quarter, it may take a miracle to catch ThePunk75, but there are seven tournaments still left.

On to the action:

11 min: Tommydoo (19th) lost a coin flip with (KQ) to K9isadog’s (JJ).
13 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (18th) decides Cpadanj is bluffing, but he wasn’t.
24 min: KingBing420 (17th) gets a bad beat put on her by Cpadanj. Looks like his night so far.

27 min: A short-stacked (SS) Lump2 (16th) goes with (KJ) and runs into LittleRedElf’s (A3).

42 min: Pre01 (15th) Missed it. Had to turn my attention elsewhere for a few minutes.
35 min: Brucef1040 (14th) Same reason.
37 min: LittleRedElf (13th) sees his two pair get run down by Absea’s trips.
39 min: A short-stacked (SS) Theedouble*d (12th) (14th) sees his pair of Fives lose to Tomservo2’s pair of Aces.

41 min: Derf-63 (11th) gets his two pair bested by 8thmile’s trips and is out the next hand.
47 min: Eyekall (10th) hits his flush on the flop but 8thmile catches a higher flush on the turn.
50 min: A SS Cpadanj (9th) tries with (KJ) but is double-teamed by Douge2 and K9isadog, who wins with a pair of Fives.

1st break:
ThePunk75 7344
K9isadog 7252
T3chlady 5281
8thmile 3060
Douge2 1682
Tomservo2 1678
Absea98 1675
Suetman123 528

66 min: Douge2 (8th) has a pair of Queens, but ThePunk75 has trip Threes.
68 min: A SS Suetman123 (7th) has to go with (KJ) but runs into K9isadog’s (A5).

To this point, everyone has been playing like they had somewhere better to be (including your host), but now the final six settle in to do battle.

88 min: A SS Tomservo2 (6th) tries with (6h 5h) and a flop of [5A9], but ThePunk75 has (A6).

91 min: A SS Absea98 (5th) has to go with (AT), and K9isadog calls with (Ad 4d) and hits a [4] on the turn.

108 min: A SS K9isadog (4th) has to try with a flush draw but it doesn’t hit and ThePunk75 pairs his Queens.

111 min: T3chlady (3rd) goes with (66) but ThePunk75 has (JJ).

Heads up: 8thmile 2800 - ThePunk75 25700

114 min: 8thmile (2nd) hits two pair, but ThePunk75 hits a flush!

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 13th NPP win!

1st – ThePunk75
2nd – 8thmile
3rd – T3chlady
4th – K9isadog
5th – Absea98
6th – Tomservo2
7th – Suetman123
8th – Douge2
9th – Cpadanj
10th – Eyekall
11th – Derf-63
12th – Theedouble*d
13th – LittleRedElf
14th – Brucef1040
15th – Pre01
16th – Lump2
17th - KingBing420
18th – Mikeniks-Faldo
19th - Tommydoo

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Douge2's Humor Corner - Super Bowl Sunday Edition

There is Always One Big Mouth!

A woman went into a pet shop and spotted a large, quite beautiful
parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so
little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution, and sometimes it
says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought awhile, but decided she'd take the bird anyway. She
took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited

for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her,

and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was surprised at the
implication, but then thought for a Cathouse Parrot "that's really not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and
said, "New madam, new girls." The woman was a bit offended but then
began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the
parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Steve came home from work. The bird
looked at him and said, "Hi, Steve."


A Man’s Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess Will you marry me?

The Princess said NO and the Prince lived happily ever after;

riding motorcycles and dating gorgeous broads half his age,
and he hunted,
played golf,
bought a boat and fished any weekend he wanted,
raced cars,
went to topless bars,
drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan,
never heard bitching,
never paid child support or alimony,
kept his house,
and guns,
and never got cheated on while he was at work,
and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell,
and he had tons of money in the bank,
and could always leave the toilet seat up.
The end

Faldo's Internet Record in January

This "Find Faldo's ball mark" training of possible Faldo caddies is exhausting Faldo.

But on to the internet tournament circuit results for January 2012: 28 tourneys, no wins, but 4 final tables; 9th, 6th, 5th and 3rd.

Sit n Go results were bleak compared to the last few months, but for some reason January seems to be a bad SNG month for Faldo historically. Wonder why? Maybe no reason. Maybe all this "caddie training."

I guess I could blame the lack of cashes on my recovery from the hospital stay, but my 1st place wins were up there. Maybe I was just "going for the gold" more often.

26 SNG's played with 5 wins, and 6 cashes (2nd's and 3rd's).

That is a 42.3% cash rate (goal = 45%), but a 19.2% win rate (goal = 15%).

My total January performance is a 36.1% cash rate, so I guess that is an improvement overall. Just not compared to the last few months. Total win rate in January stands at 12.2%, which is awful, even with this last January added in.

A superstar's goals are 20% win and 50% cashes in SNG's.

That is why Faldo shoots for 15 - 45.

Partagas Cigars – A Taste of Cuba!

The Partagas brand name has always represented some of the finest cigars ever made. Ramon Cifuentes and Benjamin Menendez the conocedores.

The Cifuenteses ran the Partagas Havana factory for over 100 years – until the Obama Communist Revo…….sorry, the Castro Communist Revolution.

After, Cifuentes brought his expertise to the Dominican Republic, and along with Ben (who created the Montecristo brand!) restarted the brand. This united two former competitors to create a new “super-brand.”

Partagas are exceptionally well made – reputation has it, and is definitely a top 5 selling brand. Some say it is as high as #2. Why quibble.

Faldo has not tried this brand yet. It is on my cigar bucket list however.

Although a medium strength cigar, it is said to be on the smooth and slightly sweet side.

Sounds like a “back nine” cigar worth taking a look at.

The standard Partagas (medium) comes in all the familiar sizes and shapes. Other Partagas styles are;
Black Label – (full bodied)
Cifuentes Winter Blend – (medium)
Limited Reserve Decadas – (full bodied)
Series S – (med – strong)
Spanish Rosado – (med-strong)

ThePunk75 Wins his 2nd NPP Tourney of the Year

The Punk takes over 1st place in the standings. Twenty players saw action tonight, making Faldo very happy. But PokerStars was about to sour his mood – as usual.

We welcomed back Theedouble*d tonight. Great to see you back DD.

On to the action:

6 min: Cpadanj (20th) Faldo missed the first four knockouts as Faldo was in a money tourney on another site, but got knocked out of there short of the money.

10 min: Derf-63 (19th)
17 min: Wingsfancurt (18th)
24 min: Lump2 (17th)
39 min: Theedouble*d (16th) goes with (KJ) and runs into ThePunk75’s (AK).
42 min: A short-stacked (SS) Bb557 (15th) sees his (KJ) run into Absea98’s (QQ).
50 min: A SS Suetman123 (14th) sees her (33) lose a coin flip to ThePunk75’s (Kh 7h) with a [K] on the river.

1st break:
ThePunk75 7670
LittleRedElf 4780
95corolla 3820
Tomservo2 2450
Mikeniks-Faldo 2305
KingBing420 2025
Tommydoo 1632
RodCPA 1532
Pre-01 1435
Brucef1040 1078
Absea98 890
8thmile 378
T3chlady 5 (did not make the game)

60 min: T3chlady (13th) blinds out.
62 min: A short-stacked (SS) Brucef1040 (12th) (14th) sees his (AJ) run into Tommydoo’s (AK).

72 min: Absea98 (11th) with (As Ks), loses a coin flip to 95corolla with (88).
78 min: RodCPA (10th) Missed it because Faldo was watching a hand on my table.
88 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (9th) raises with (AA) (83%) and gets re-raised all in by Tommydoo with (Kd 7d) (17%) and of course Faldo has to call. The flop was [8K7] with a [7] on the turn.

Faldo cannot complain as his (JJ) (20%) ran down Pre01’s (AA) (80%) a few hands earlier with a [J] on the flop. I was on a pass as it was.

90 min: 8thmile (8th) Missed it. Still throwing up over the 88 minute mark hand.

100 min: Tommydoo (7th) re-raises all in with (Jd 4d) (64%) with second pair on a flop of (7d Js Th]. He caught Tomservo2 on a draw with over-cards (AK) (34%), and Tomservo2 calls it anyway. A [Q] hits the turn.

110 min: A SS Pre01 (6th) tries with (33) but runs into 95corolla’s (88).

2nd break:
95corolla 10088
LittleRedElf 8812
ThePunk75 4530
KingBing420 3546
Tomservo2 3024

125 min: A SS KingBing420 (5th) loses to 95corolla’s straight.
131 min: A SS LittleRedElf (4th) has to try with (Ah 9h) but runs into 95corolla’s (AK).

154 min: 95corolla (3rd) goes with over cards and a flush draw with (Kh Qh) but cannot catch Tomservo2’s (33) with a [3] on the flop.

This sets up a battle!!!

Heads up: Tomservo2 15000 - ThePunk75 15000
160 min: Tomservo2 9700 - ThePunk75 20300
165 min: Tomservo2 16800 - ThePunk75 13200
170 min: Tomservo2 9200 - ThePunk75 20800

3rd break: Tomservo2 17983 - ThePunk75 12017

185 min: Tomservo2 13200 - ThePunk75 16800
190 min: Tomservo2 10000 - ThePunk75 20000
195 min: Tomservo2 9100 - ThePunk75 20900

198 min: Tomservo2 (2nd) goes with (Ah 8h) (70%) and ThePunk75 calls with (Qc 8c) (28%), but as happened most of the night, the leader pre-flop falls. A [Q] on the flop ends the match.

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 12th NPP win!

1st – ThePunk75
2nd – Tomservo2
3rd – 95corolla
4th – LittleRedElf
5th – KingBing420
6th – Pre01
7th – Tommydoo
8th – 8thmile
9th – Mikeniks-Faldo
10th – RodCPA
11th – Absea98
12th – Brucef1040
13th – T3chlady
14th – Suetman123
15th – Bb557
16th – Theedouble*d
17th - Lump2
18th – Wingsfancurt
19th - Derf-63
20th – Cpadanj

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

NPP Exclusive - Beerhog at the Links

And NO, Faldo is NOT the Starter.
Think Spring!

Lump2 Wins His 1st NPP Tourney and Takes Over the League Lead

Ilary Blasi was so impressed - she fainted - as Lump2 is the 65th player to win an NPP tournament event! Welcome to the Walk of Fame Lump2.

Well it was bound to happen. Lump2 was hanging around the final tables this season and finally closed the deal. He did it mostly by eliminating the competition with NINE knockouts on the night. Impressive.

Turnout was a little lighter than I expected after the nice turnout last week. It did not dampen play any as the tourney ran almost as long as the others.

On to the action:

13 min: K9isadog (15th) hits his flush, but Tommydoo’s is bigger (twss).
18 min: A short-stacked (SS) Absea98 (14th) sees his (TT) lose a coin flip to Lump2’s (AQ) with an [A] on the flop.

21 min: Brucef1040 (13th) sees his pair of queens get out-kicked by Derf-63’s pair of queens.

40 min: Derf-63 (12th) Missed it. Playing a hand on my table.
46 min: 95corolla (11th) Missed it. Playing a hand on my table.
49 min: 8thmile (10th) Missed it. Watching a hand on my table.
50 min: ThePunk75 (9th) Missed it because I had to take a phone call.

Your humble reporter is not having a good night – playing or writing.

1st break:
Lump2 7120
Tomservo2 4413
Pre-01 3600
Tommydoo 2025
Bb557 1890
Suetman123 1820
Mikeniks-Faldo 1265
KingBing420 367

66 min: Tommydoo (8th) is out-kicked – Ten to Nine by Bb557.
73 min: A SS KingBing420 (7th) hits a pair of kings on the flop, but Suetman123 hit trips! Ouch!

90 min: A harmless looking flop of [7h 6h 5s] gets three-way all-in action going (twss). A SS Tomsevo2 (6th) tries with (Ad 8d), Bb558 (5th) has to go with (88), and Lump2 has to call with (66) and his trips hang on for the double knockout!

98 min: A SS Suetman123 (4th) tries the flush draw with (Kd 9d) on a flop with two diamonds in it, but cannot run down Lump2’s (KJ). Another “out-kicked” ousting tonight.

110 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (3rd) has to go with (A2) but cannot catch Lump2’s (22).

Heads up: Lump2 11000 - Pre01 11500

2nd break at 115 min: Heads up: Lump2 13500 - Pre01 9000
124 min: A SS Pre-01 (2nd) goes with (AK) on a dry flop of [7Q8] but runs into Lump2’s (T7) and does not improve.

Congratulations to Lump2 on his 1st NPP win!

1st – Lump2
2nd – Pre01
3rd – Mikeniks-Faldo
4th – Suetman123
5th – Bb557
6th – Tomservo2
7th – KingBing420
8th – Tommydoo
9th – ThePunk75
10th – 8thmile
11th – 95corolla
12th – Derf-63
13th – Brucef1040
14th – Absea98
15th – K9isadog

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Faldo Returns to the Felt at Matchy’s Poker Room

Just a reminder - BoDog Poker and Sportsbook is now closed to US Players. Ahhhh, the sweet stench of our freedom dying.

By the way, Matchy's Poker Room can’t be Matchy’s Poker Palace because of copy right laws. NPP’s team of powerful lawyers (Dewey, Cheetem and Howe) would swoop down and take every chip, table, and chair – and then work on getting the CPA licenses pulled from every math-challenged accountant playing in that room. Of which there are several.

Anyway, Faldo returned to the poker wars for the first time in 2012. It was a great game. It was lots of laughs and stories, along with great poker. Everyone participated in the frivolity except for Boston Dave – who we have to help get over his shyness.

Matchy introduced a new poker oval poker table to MPR and it was a nice addition. The padded arm rest really helps in the comfort area, and the cards slide easily and that helps with the dealing. Nice job Matchy.

The table was filled – in order of seating number by:

1 – Boother36
2 – Artic1Blast
3 – Boston Dave
4 – Mikeniks-Faldo
5 – Silent Chris
6 – Stanley Cup Tim
7 – River Dennis
8 – Matchy
9 – 95corolla

The synopsis (I bought this word from the website Smartwordsfordumbbloggers dot com) of the six hour game [HOPE – Holdem, Omaha, Pineapple, Omaha8 rotation] by seat was;

1 – Second best great hands all night – stealing a Faldo trademark.
2 – Shoulda raised Boston Dave out of his seat all night
3 – Hit every flop all night, but took it easy on us. Big winner.
4 – Faldo hit every river all night but too bad he folded
5 – Chris just quietly kicked butt. 2nd winner.
6 – Tim bluffed Faldo out of 954 pots.
7 – Dennis lost so many hands on the river, he thought he was Faldo playing on PokerStars.
8 – Matchy made a comeback
9 – and 95corolla had the same plight as Faldo – river hits while on the sidelines.

A special thanks to 95corolla for the cigars – hand picked as a gift for Faldo since Faldo blogged he had not tried them yet. Several Licenciados and La Flor Del Caneys will be heading 95corolla's way.

And a SUPER special thanks to 95corolla’s son – a marine serving in Afghanistan. God bless him!

Community Card Review - We’ve Got Lying, Cheating and Treasonous Americans to Defeat

A Reminder: A picture of Democrat voters and their feelings towards the military outwardly expressed - when a Republican is in the White House. I'll bet these same paid employees of the DNC are now working at the Occupy protests.

Governor of Wisconsin Republican Scott Walker was in office in January 2011 with a budget deficit of $3.6 billion.

Over the protests of the Democrat voting union thugs and the cowardly and treasonous Wisconsin Democrat lawmakers who fled the state to stop the voting on reform, Governor Walker made state employees to pay 12.6% of their salaries to their healthcare benefits. Private sector workers pay double that, by the way.

And he made them pay 5.8% towards their own retirement.

Gov Walker also gave the state workers the right to "opt out" of the union, so dues would not be automatically taken from their pay checks.

The results of just this little bit of reduction in state-worker union dictated entitlement spending was:

The school tax levies across the state of Wisconsin - for the first time in history - went DOWN!

The budget for 2012 is projected to be a $300 million SURPLUS without raising taxes or layoffs of government workers.

However, Governor Walker is targeted for a recall vote by the Democrat National Committee and the national union offices. Loss of UNION DUES is the real issue with the DNC and the union kingpins. The rest is all window dressing.

In order for the recall initiative to be started, signatures on petitions have to equal or surpass 1/4 of all ballots cast in the election that put Walker in office.

All the Democrat and union ballot box stuffing apparatus was turned on to gather the signatures needed. Names like Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Adolf Hitler were deemed legal by a liberal judge, along with the signatures of a man who signed the petitions eighty times!

Who is it that opposes voting registration verification? The Democrats. Now you know why. Democrats want to cheat. They always cheat. They have to cheat. They can’t win unless they cheat – even with a school system and media monopoly.

Illinois Democrats proudly announced they were going to be the anti-Wisconsin - and tax their way to a balanced budget. And they got elected. Well, in the same amount of time, Illinois raised taxes 66%!

Illinois still has a 10% unemployment rate, still a huge fiscal deficit, and they just surpassed California as having the worst bond rating in the country.

The choice will be clear in Wisconsin when the next vote happens late this summer. Wisconsin can return to the Democrats and double digit tax increases, billion dollar deficits and record job loss - or stay the course and continue the momentum of increased jobs in the state, a balanced budget and tax freezes or rebates!

Citizens of Wisconsin will have to beat the Democrat and union election cheating and almost unlimited spending in lying advertising. If Wisconsin citizens want to win their state back from the Democrat socialists - now is the time.

Our entire nation faces the same decision in the next national election. The same cheating, lying, and billion dollar spending from the Democrat–Communists will happen along with the hit pieces from our main stream media propaganda arm of the Democrat Party.

We have to beat the Democrats-Socialists-Communists-Union Thugs in November or become slaves. Pure and simple.

Decision time.

(PS: Unions are outlawed in China, Cuba and North Korea. Something to think about you pro-union Democrat voters. Be careful what you wish for.)

ThePunk75 Wins His 11th NPP Tourney and Takes the Lead in the League

Gemma enjoyed watching the tourney.

ThePunk75 bests eighteen others tonight to take the lead in the league. It was a methodical, patient and thoughtful victory. Nice job Punk!

We welcomed tonight a new player – Cpadanj. And he is a player! He did well in his first NPP tourney.

On to the action:

15 min: Wingsfancurt (19th) Missed it. Watching an all-in on my table.

26 min: Pre01 (18th) sees his Aces runs into Tommydoo’s straight.
32 min: 8thmile (17th) hits two pair on the turn, but Mikeniks-Faldo had trips on the flop.

35 min: A short-stacked (SS) Suetman1 (16th) hits two pair on the turn, but K9isadog turned a flush.

42 min: KingBing420 (15th) sees her (AK) run into Cpadanj’s (AA).
46 min: LittleRedElf (14th) sees his (JJ) run into Absea98’s (KK).
49 min: Lump2 (13th) sees his pair of Aces get out-kicked by Derf-63’s pair of Aces.
50 min: Douge2 (12th) Missed it. Another all-in at my table.
52 min: Tomservo2 (11th) sees his trip sixes get out-kicked by Cpadanj’s trip sixes. It’s an out-kicked epidemic!

1st break:
Cpadanj 8087
K9isadog 4563
Bb557 2880
ThePunk75 2770
Tommydoo 2580
Derf-63 2525
T3chlady 1675
95corolla 1650
Mikeniks-Faldo 1110
Absea98 660

63 min: A SS Absea98 (10th) goes with (Kd 9d) and is called by big stack Cpadanj with (QT). And a [T] flops and Absea98 gets no help.

72 min: Derf-63 (9th) sees his Jack-high flush and Cpadanj sees his trips lose to T3chlady’s Ace-high flush!

84 min: A SS Bb557 (8th) has to go with his pair of Aces on the flop. ThePunk75 calls with a pair of tens, but hits a straight on the river! Ouch!

87 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (7th) has to go with (55) and Tommydoo correctly calls with (Ad Kd) and hits a king on the flop.

96 min: A SS Cpadanj (6th) tries to go with (As 2s), but runs into K9isadog’s (AK).
113 min: A SS 95corolla (5th) has to go with (QJ) but run into K9isadog’s (KJ).

2nd break:
K9isadog 11051
T3chlady 7946
ThePunk75 5876
Tommydoo 3628

124 min: Tommydoo (4th) tries the flush draw with (Kd 9d) on a flop of [Ad 6d Js] but cannot run down T3chlady’s (A8).

136 min: K9isadog (3rd) hits two pair but loses to ThePunk75’s straight.

Heads up: ThePunk75 21000 - T3chlady 7500

139 min: A SS T3chlady (2nd) goes with (K3) but runs into ThePunk75’s (77).

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 1st NPP win of this season.

1st – ThePunk75
2nd – T3chlady
3rd – K9isadog
4th – Tommydoo
5th – 95corolla
6th – Cpadanj
7th – Mikeniks-Faldo
8th – Bb557
9th – Derf-63
10th – Absea98
11th – Tomservo2
12th – Douge2
13th – Lump2
14th – LittleRedElf
15th – KingBing420
16th – Suetman123
17th – 8thmile
18th – Pre01
19th - Wingsfancurt

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Winter is a Time for Eating!

Doesn't that sandwich look good?

Yes, trust me - there is a sandwich in that picture. Look carefully. [Ed. Note to half my readers: Nevermind. You don't have to find the sandwich. Don't hurt yourself.]

But sandwiches are made from leftovers.

Picture a meal of tender and juicy roast beef, mashed potatoes, veggies and a salad. Maybe fry up some onions, green and red mild peppers and mushrooms in a little garlic and olive oil.

Here is the Italian Beef recipe, with a big hat tip to the blog - Paw Paw's House!

Rodger's Italian Beef

Ingredients:
3 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon onion salt
1 teaspoon dried parsley
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 bay leaf
1 (.7 ounce) package dry Italian-style
salad dressing mix
1 (5 pound) rump roast

Directions:
1. Combine water with salt, ground black pepper, oregano, basil, onion salt, parsley, garlic powder, bay leaf, and salad dressing mix in a saucepan. Stir well, and bring to a boil.

2. Place roast in slow cooker, and pour salad dressing mixture over the meat.

3. Cover, and cook on Low for 10 to 12 hours, or on High for 4 to 5 hours. When done, remove bay leaf, and shred meat with a fork.

After 10 hours in the slow cooker, the beef is falling apart.

I sampled just a taste and the flavor is incredible. - PP

Faldo knows what he is having for dinner next weekend!

Men Never Learned Either - We Let Them Vote Now Too!

Douge2’s Humor Corner - PARAPROSDOKIAN

…is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. For instance;


Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.


The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered women scream the same way whether they are about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches their foot.

I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt..... plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Absea98 Picks Up Right Where He Left Off Last Year. Wins Again!

Sometimes you need to gang-tackle an opponent.

Fresh off the 2011 NPP Finals victory, Absea98 proceeded to beat us all into submission on the first night of action of the new season. Thanks a pant load!

We welcome two new players to the NPP family tonight: Bb557 and Lump2. Welcome guys!

This season will be back to the 4 quarters – with each winner getting a seat in the NPP Finals and the top two in points also getting a seat in the finals. All ties also get in.

On to the action:

7 min: KingBing420 (14th) pairs her jacks, but loses to Derf-63’s queens.
11 min: Tommydoo (13th) runs into 95corolla’s trip jacks.
28 min: Bb557 (12th) Missed it as he was on the other table.
31 min: 8thmile (11th) was really card dead and has to go with (22) but loses to T3chlady’s two pair.

41 min: ThePunk75 (10th) was as card dead as 8thmile.
43 min: BigDaddyTman (9th) goes with (88) but LittleRedElf’s (Ac Kc) makes two pair. BigDaddy is crippled and leaves a few hands later.

60min: Mikeniks-Faldo (8th) knows there is a PokerStars Break Monster. The Monster gives a short stack a high pocket pair and then crushes it with a dirty flop - right at the break. Faldo knows this, but decides to test the theory to the max.

Faldo is dealt (AA) – of course – in middle position, the last hand before the break. DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!! (a Lost in Space reference that shows Faldo's age)

I raise half my short stack, wanting action and preferably an all-in move. I need chips to fight on post-break after all. Maybe an all in push stops the disaster about to happen, but I don’t pick up that much ammo in that instance. All fold but Derf-63 who has the chips to call.

The flop is [6c 8c 9c] and I know I am dead, but I have to play like there is no Break Monster on PokerStars.

I move all in and Derf-63 has to call with (Kc Th), having both straight and flush draws, and for all he knows over-card draws, which he ended up not having. Of course the 4th club hits the river and the field conveniently shrinks at break time.

Game-set-match to the Break Monster.

1st break:
Absea98 6825
Suetman123 4225
Derf-63 3745
LittleRedElf 2745
Lump2 2115
T3chlady 790
95corolla 555

66 min: A SS T3chlady (7th) pairs her Aces and loses to Suetman123’s Aces and Jacks.
70 min: A SS 95corolla (6th) has to go with (Kc Tc), pairs, but Absea98 hits a straight on the river. Ouch!

76 min: Derf-63 (5th) sees his (AQ) run into Absea98’s (AK).

Now we settled in for a long battle.

104 min: Suetman123 (4th) runs into LittleRedElf’s two pair.

116 min: Lump2 (3rd) gives it a shot with (8s 7s) and shoves at a flop of [5s Kc 3s]. LittleRedElf makes a crying call with (KJ) and the kings hold up.

A fine performance by an NPP rookie. Good job Lump2!

Heads up; LittleRedElf 11000 - Absea98 10000

2nd break:
LittleRedElf 17240
Absea98 3760

125 min: LittleRedElf 16730 - Absea98 4270
130 min: LittleRedElf 15730 - Absea98 5270
135 min: LittleRedElf 11500 - Absea98 9500
140 min: LittleRedElf 9330 - Absea98 11670

142 min: LittleRedElf (2nd) goes with (A9) but runs into Absea98’s (AJ).

Congratulations to Absea98 on his 6th NPP win.

1st – Absea98
2nd – LittleRedElf
3rd – Lump2
4th – Suetman123
5th – Derf-63
6th – 95corolla
7th – T3chlady
8th – Mikeniks-Faldo
9th – BigDaddyTman
10th – ThePunk75
11th – 8thmile
12th – Bb557
13th – Tommydoo
14th – KingBing420

The total point standings are on the right side of the blog!

Caesars Windsor Does WSOP Qualifiers

WSOP Qualifier Jan 13th and 14th – and this young lady will be cheering for you!

Friday 13th
10am & 8:15pm
$70 buy-in

Sat 14th
10am | $70 buy-in
4pm | $555 buy-in

Theedouble*d will be going...anyone interested?
Call or email Faldo for DD's phone number to discuss.

Nik's Poker Palace Starts Season #19 Tuesday

Don't just stand there leaning on the wall. Tell your friends. NPP starts our fun Tuesday Night Tournament League January 10 at 8pm.

Download PokerStars dot net and then email Faldo at the email at the top of this blog for the league number, and password.

Those that played last year are all set.

But all you newbies, get those emails to me as soon as possible.

See you Tuesday night!

Top Ten Smartest Teams in Sports

The smartest league is of course Niks Poker Palace, followed by the NFL. But this is about the smartest teams. Here is Faldo's list. Let's discuss:

10. Los Angeles Lakers - Like it or not, and whether with league help or not, no pro basketball team has performed so well for so long.

9. Boston Red Sox - Yes, they spend like the 2nd biggest baseball market team (which they are), but they still manage to out-duel the 1st big market team - the New York Yankees (who barely failed to make the top 10 cut).

8. Baltimore Ravens - GM Ozzie (the Wizard of Oz) Newsome has got them in the playoffs 5 of the last six years, all without braking the bank. Shrew trades and good drafts keeps the Ravens in the mix every year.

7. Atlanta Braves - Just now starting to slide, but winning 14 consecutive divisional championships will never be repeated. Even with the Ted Turner wallet closed, the Braves continue to "be a factor" every baseball fall.

6. Tampa Bay Rays - A tiny baseball market with the smallest payroll, Tampa Bay always battles the "Big Boys" - the Red Sox and Yankees - in their division. Three playoff runs, with one winning the pennant in 2008. They continue to be competitive when all indications say they should be Pirates-Cubs clones.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers - Love them or hate them, like Alabama, they just keep rolling. Perfect drafting even without the high choices, and free agent signings that not only don't break the bank, but fill holes - and the locker room chemistry - perfectly.

4. Detroit Red Wings - Car accidents, heart attacks, garbage officiating and untimely injuries prevents them from being #1. Playoff contenders for 20 years running with 10 Central Division championships and 3 Stanley Cups thrown in. Without some bad luck and league shenanigans, 7 Stanleys is not that far fetched.

3. New England Patriots - Playoffs in 10 of the last 11 years with 3 Super Bowl wins - matched only by the Steelers in that time frame. Not only do they draft, free agent fill and keep the winning culture like the Steelers, they find other ways to get edges over the competition. "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying" is almost their motto. Kind of a new century version on the Al Davis Raider's 'Just win baby!"

2. Green Bay Packers - How do they get players to go to that God forsaken winter shanty town? How do they continue to beat the bigger market teams like a old rug on a clothes line in August? 14 league championships, 4 Super Bowls and an army of "cheese heads" across the country. As a Lion's fan, I'm going to be sick.

1. Minnesota Twins - Playoff bound in 6 of 10 years with unknown players that later became American League MVP's. That's called drafting folks. A small market team which somehow manages to play over .500 baseball all the time, and then blow by everyone at the wire to get in the post season. Kind of a Tampa Bay - on steroids - but in a weaker division, which helps their success. Every year I wonder, "How do those Twinkies do it??"

That's Faldo's list. What is yours?

The NPP League Returns January 10

Relaxation time is over.

E-mails will be sent shortly also, but Faldo is ready to post the schedule.

The season will be 4 quarters again. The first three will be 12 tourneys in length and the last one only 11 tourneys.

Another change; we are going back to the 12 minute blinds rather than the 15 minute blinds. The reason is simply that I think the tourney needs to be over in under 3 hours.

The schedule is this:

1st quarter: Jan 10th thru April 3rd, with Valentine’s Day night off (Faldo’s wedding anniversary and I don’t want to be killed in my sleep). Twelve games.

2nd quarter; April 10th thru June 26th. Twelve games.

3rd quarter: July 10th thru September 25th. Twelve games

4th quarter: October 2nd thru December 11th. Eleven games.

NPP Final: December 18th.

Here is hoping everyone had a good holiday and will have a great year ahead. Faldo did and is planning on it!

Happy New Year! - And Drive Safely Out There