Faldo Wears Out His Welcome on the 1st Visit

I know, I know. When don’t I do that? But this was different.

This was a poker game I was invited to by getting picked up to play in a softball tournament. The sponsor of the team wanted to pad his team a little and picked up me and a few of teammates to play one weekend on his team.

My main team rarely had a weekend off as “Frank” was a total softball junkie, but we had this one off. I guess I was even a bigger playing junkie, because I was playing this weekend too.

Over beers at the bar after the tournament, the sponsor of the team, Larry, told me he had a game on Friday night with some of the men who worked for him at an auto-body shop. I said I played poker and he said to come on over if I could handle the stakes. I asked what those were and he said $1 - $2.

This was a decent amount of money for a ‘starving’ college student as far as Larry was concerned. My fellow softball ringer John told Larry about the $.25 - $.50 game our main softball team had some Saturday nights.

I didn’t feel the need to mention to Larry I played in the $10 - $20 ‘Frank’ game and $1 - $2 would not be a problem. I just told him I thought I could swing it next week and I would be there. John also was invited.

A nice group of guys and they played the usual Jacks or better, Blind Baseball, Deuces Wild for both stud and draw, etc. – along with 7-stud Hi-Lo, which is what Larry dealt. I duly noted that Larry was the ‘playa’ of this group.

I introduced Little Squeeze (5-stud, with a purchase exchange option) to the group, and they fell in love with the game – especially Larry. It was the fan favorite for most of the night.

Well, it was getting late, and I was a decent size winner, as was Larry. I played straight forward poker, didn’t re-raise much, and was outwardly shy about my good fortune so far that night. A few of the guys had said after taking a pot from me, “I didn’t raise to take it easy on the kid his first night here.”

The big winner this night so far was Dave. He liked to talk and call hands out that he thought everyone had and what they folded. He was usually right, and when he wasn’t – then you didn’t play the hand right, according to him. It was all done in a friendly manner anyway.

The deck was hitting him between the eyes this night also. He was in a good mood and feeling he had his A-game tonight. He probably did.

We had been playing a good six hours and as a new player and up money, I was not going to be the first one to leave. Just bad poker game etiquette if you want to be invited back. Losing? No problem, leave whenever you want and you will still be on the call list. But winning in a new card game and leaving early? Not good as long as you know the game is on the level.

So I decided I was there until we were four handed or less. I was thinking that I still had another 3 hours or so to go. Uh…no. This hand headed people to the exits like a lap later. The game, Little Squeeze and the dealer is Larry, the host (no, not me thank God, as you will soon see).

Almost no one folded until they got their original five usually so the game was dealt with only two exchange chances. No one folded this hand either.

Joe (X) Kc 3c 2h 2c
Bob (X) As 9h Jc 8h
Dave (X) 4c 8s 3h 5h
Faldo (X) 4s 6h 7c 3s
John (X) Qc 6d Qd Ks
Doug (X) Kd Qs 5c Ac
(D) Larry (X) Ts 7d 9s 5d

The betting has basically been capped every round with Bob, Dave, John, Doug and Larry doing all the betting. I just called, as I had most of the night. Exchange time {throw away card} – [new card].

Joe (X) Kc {3c} 2h 2c [Jh] (obviously 2 pair or trips)
Bob (X) As 9h Jc {8h} [7s] (Aces down?)

Dave exclaims, “I needed that seven! I’m not buying now.”

Dave (X) 4c 8s 3h 5h [pat] (Has an eight-low. Any worse, he buys regardless)
Faldo (X) 4s 6h 7c 3s [pat]

When I also don’t buy, Dave says, “See, the boy is learning from the master!”

John (X) Qc {6d} Qd Ks [4h] (trip queens and sandbagging?)
Doug (X) Kd Qs {5c} Ac [4d] (straight draw obviously)
(D) Larry (X) Ts 7d 9s {5d} [Th] (tripped the tens)

The betting is capped by Dave, John and Larry, putting us all in what is known as “the popcorn machine,” getting pelted by bets from all sides.

Joe [{X}] Kc 2h 2c Jh (trying to trip the 2’s)
Bob (X) As 9h Jc 8h {7s} [9d] (two pair – no way he has trip nines)

Dave says, “I’m not buying. Gonna let the kid catch.”

Dave (X) 4c 8s 3h 5h [pat]
Faldo (X) 4s 6h 7c 3s [pat]

Dave says, “You should have bought a card there, son. I don’t have a pair. Honest.”

John ({X}) Qc Qd Ks 4h (still trying to trip the queens)
Doug (X) Kd Qs Ac {4d} [2d] (no straight for you!)
(D) Larry (X) Ts 7d {9s} 5d Th [3d] (trip tens for sure)

Joe checks, and Bob fires out a tentative bet. Dave says, “Sorry, I have to bet it son. I raise.”

When I re-raise, you could have heard a pin drop from three houses down! After about what seemed like five long minutes (probably 30 seconds), I turn and look at John, who folds like lightening when I looked at him.

Doug folds nearly at the same time John does, and Larry calmly re-raises. Joe reluctantly calls. Bob thinks for a while and folds.

I now look at Dave who is looking at me like I have my hands on his daughter in his living room after Sunday church. He says, “Kid, you are not bluffing me out of this pot. I cap it!”

I call as does Larry and Dave. Dave declares ‘low’, Larry and Joe go ‘high’ and I declare both ways and take the entire pot down with my 7-high straight (had the 5s).

I never got invited back to the game. John was invited as long as he didn’t bring me, and I know John played in that game for years.