Douge2's Humor Corner II

Twenty interesting things learned when you have sons, like ...

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you u still l can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

17. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

18. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

19. The average fire department response time is 8 minutes.

20. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.




Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same Since Broke Back Mountain

1. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"

2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"

3. "Don't fret---I've been in tight spots before."

4. "Howdy, pardner."

5. You stay here while I sneak around from behind."

6. Two words: "Saddle Sore."

7. "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like, so I can count the hairs"

8. "Let's mount up!"

9. "Nice spread [wide stance] ya got there!"

10. "Ride'em cowboy!"