Friday, April 21, 2017

Douge2 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2017

Danielle Montgomery waits for Douge2 in the NPP Country Club shower/bath.
Leave it to Douge2 to leave his mark on every quarter of NPP history. He jumps into the 2nd quarter fray with this victory in a field of 14.

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - Absea98
4th - KingBing420
Bubble - Tomservo2

Still plenty of time to catch the leaders here in the 2nd Quarter race. See you Tuesday.

Congratulations to Douge2 on his 24th NPP victory!

Now for some useful health tips:

It is well documented that for every minute you exercise, you add a minute to your life. This enables you at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 a month.

The only reason Faldo would exercise at this point in his life to hear heavy breathing again.

Faldo did join a health club at the cost of $500. Have not lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.

Faldo likes long walks .....taken by people who annoy me.

Faldo does not exercise because it makes me spill my beer.

And some common sense truths:

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

There is not one shred of evidence to support the notion that life should be taken seriously.

It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Bills travel thru the mail at twice the speed of paychecks.

Junk is something you keep for years and throw away two weeks before you need it.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Every time they make something idiot-proof, they build a bigger idiot.

How to measure the sanity of a liberal:
Ask them to name one successful liberal program or idea.
Then record the time it takes them to give up before their head explodes.
They will call you a name or walk away, and then you stop the timer.
The quicker they reach that point, the greater their mental illness.

If they are still trying to think of one after a half-hour, you may have a liberal that can be cured.
At least the brain is trying to function and reach the truth that there has never been one.
Feel free to stop them at this point and explain that there isn't any.
They will not accept that right away, but at least their brain is trying to bring them back to the real world. Give them time to heal themselves.

No comments: