Saturday, May 05, 2012

Douge2's Humor Corner - Communication is Key

Golfer Lies about His Real Number…..and Wins!
Tom, a 70-year old, extremely wealthy widower shows up at the country club with an absolutely gorgeous and extremely sexy 25 year old brunette.
She hangs on to his arm and is enthralled with every word he says.
His regular playing partners and the rest of the fellow members are shocked.
At first chance, his foursome corners him and ask him how he managed to bag that amazing girlfriend?
Tom says, “That’s not my girlfriend. Hell, that’s my wife.”
In disbelief they ask him, “How did you persuade her to marry you?”
Tom said, “I lied about my age.”
His best friend says, “Ahhh, you told her you were only 50.”
Tom says, “Of course not. I told her I was 90.”

An Engineer in Hell
An Engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his list and says, “Sorry, but you are in the wrong place.” So the Engineer is sent to Hell.
The Engineer, unhappy with the status of life in Hell, starts designing improvements in the buildings and the plumbing. He installs air conditioning, escalators and ice machines.
One day God calls Satan and says with a sneer, “So, how is it down there?”
Satan brags about all the improvements that have been made and says, “And there is no telling what else that Engineer might come up with.”
God replies, “What? You got an Engineer down there? That was a mistake and you know it. Send him back or I will sue you!”
Satan laughs hysterically and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”

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