95corolla Wins His 3rd NPP Event

And the tattoo makes three?

It was a crazy night that is for sure. Lots of wild cards, wild hands and wild rides for stacks. But 95corolla weathered it all and was there at the end.
LittleRedElf had a run. Sanster89 had a run. Pre01 hada run. Cigar4John had a run. But the most important streak happens at the end and that is where 95corolla got busy.
95corolla is now in the thick of the race for the 1st seat in the NPP Finals.
On to the action:

2 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (19^th) hits his straight (TT) on the river but LittleRedElf (As Qs) hits his flush at the same time. Theedouble*d is crippled with the same straight.

6 min: Theedouble*d (18^th) can’t fight back.

10 min: ThePunk75 (17^th) sees his pair of Jacks run into Cigar4John’s pair of Queens.

12 min: Derf-63 (16^th) has a pair of Jacks, but is out-kicked by Suetman123’s same pair.

19 min: Rjmech (15^th) has (AK) and pairs his King on the flop. But LittleRedElf trips his (77) on the same flop.

22 min: Lump2 (14^th) has a pair of Tens, but Sanster89 hits his flush.

25 min: Absea98 (13^th) with (QQ) loses to Tomservo2’s trip Jacks.

32 min: Tigercub8189 (12^th) has a pair of Queens, but Cigar4John has a pair of Kings.

42 min: K9isadog (11^th)

1^st break:

Cigar4John   5595

Sanster89   5070

Pre01   4900

LittleRedElf   3180

Suetman123   3130

Tomservo2    3025

T3chlady   1460

KingBing420   1060

95corolla   840

Wingsfancurt   240

61 min: A short-stacked Wingsfancurt (10^th) loses to Sanster89’s pair of Kings.

75 min: A (SS) Tomservo2 (9^th) is double-teamed by Sanster89 and the winner KingBing420 with trip Aces.

78 min: A SS KingBing420 (8^th) loses to Sanster89’s two pair.

82 min: LittleRedElf (7^th) with (AQ) loses a coin flip to Pre01 with (TT).

83 min: A SS Suetman123 (6^th) goes with (AQ) and is called by Sanster89 with (As 9s) and Sanster89 hits his Nine.

84 min: A SS T3chlady (5^th) with (AQ) loses a coin flip to Pre01 with (TT).

98 min: A SS Sanster89 (4^th) goes with (Kd Qd) (28%) and Pre01 (3rd) goes with (AJ) (17%) and Cigar4John calls with (Ah Qh) (50%). Cigar4John hits a Queen and out-kicks Sanster89 to take both guys out.

Heads Up:   95corolla      3100      -     Cigar4John     25400

100 min:      95corolla      4000      -     Cigar4John     24500

105 min:      95corolla      7000      -     Cigar4John     21500

110 min:      95corolla      14000      -     Cigar4John    14500

113 min:  A very SS Cigar4John (2^nd) gets (AK) but 95corolla can easily call with (42) and a [2] falls on the flop.

Congratulations to 95corolla on his 3rd NPP victory!

1^st – 95corolla

2^nd – Cigar4John

3^rd – Pre01

4^th – Sanster89

5^th – T3chlady

6^th – Suetman123

7^th – LittleRedElf

8^th – KingBing420

9^th – Tomservo2

10^th – Wingsfancurt

11^th – K9isadog

12^th – Tigercub8189

13^th – Absea98

14^th – Lump2

15^th – Rjmech

16^th – Derf-63

17^th – ThePunk75

18^th – Theedouble*d

19^th – Mikeniks-Faldo

The 1st Quarter standings are on the right side of the blog!

Six Lesson Management Course

Lesson 1: 

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. 
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' 
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. 
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' 
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2: 
A priest offered a Nun a lift.. 
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. 
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' 
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. 
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' 
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' 
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. 
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' 
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3: 
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. 
They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' 
Puff! She's gone. 
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' 
Puff! He's gone. 
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' 
Moral of the story: 
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4 
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. 
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' 
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. 
Moral of the story: 
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5 
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' 
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. 
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. 
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. 
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. 
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6 
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. 
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! 
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. 

Morals of the story: 
(1) Not everyone who dumps on you is your enemy. 
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

End of lesson.

Lump2 Wins His 1st in 2013; Rjmech Takes Over the League Lead

Waiting for Lump2 by the fireplace after an NPP win.

The last time we had a thirteen player tournament, Lump2 won that one too! Lucky 13 for Lump2, and his 1^st win of 2013. But not the last!

Last year's NPP Finals winner Rjmech takes over the lead in the standings, but he has a host of chasers. The race for the 1^st seat in the NPP finals is still up for grabs. Everyone is picking up points and that will make the two Total Points seat a wide open race also.

On to the action:

12 min: Sanster89 (13^th) Missed it playing my hand.

22 min: A short-stacked Suetman123 (12^th) has a pair of Sixs, but Rjmech has a pair of Nines.

28 min: A SS Tomservo2 (11^th) has a pair of Tens, but Theedouble*d has a pair of Aces.

32 min: Tigercub8189 (10^th) Table closed too fast.

33 min: Absea98 (9^th) with (KK) is double-teamed by Derf-63 with (AK) and the winner Rjmech with (AA).

38 min: 95corolla (8^th) has (JJ) but Theedouble*d has (QQ).

41 min: T3chlady (7^th) has a pair of Aces, but Wingsfancurt has two pair.

1^st break:

Theedouble*d    5690

Wingsfancurt   4335

Rjmech    2900

Lump2    2740

Derf-63   2005

Mikeniks-Faldo    1830

66 min: Derf-63(6^th) has (QQ) and is called by Wingsfancurt with (JJ), but Wingsfancurt hits a diamond flush! Ouch!

76 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (5^th) hits two pair on the turn and moves all in and is called by Wingsfancurt with (QQ). Wingsfancurt hits a [Q] on the river. Ouch!

There is no crying in poker, but there is whining.

What do you mean there is no whining either? Darn.

82 min: Wingsfancurt (4^th) hits two pair but Lump2 has trip Tens.

85 min: A SS Rjmech (3rd) goes with (A5) but Theedouble*d has (As Qs).

Heads Up:        Lump2      12,800      -     Theedouble*d      6,700

88 min:  Theedouble*d (2^nd) has to go with two pair (Tens and Fours) but Lump2 has a bigger two pair (Queens and Tens).

Congratulations to Lump2 on his 10th NPP win!

1^st – Lump2

2^nd – Theedouble*d

3^rd – Rjmech

4^th – Wingsfancurt

5^th – Mikeniks-Faldo

6^th – Derf-63

7^th – T3chlady

8^th – 95corolla

9^th – Absea98

10^th – Tigercub8189

11^th – Tomservo2

12^th – Suetman123

13^th – Sanster89

The 1st Quarter Standings and the Total Point Standings are on the right side of the blog!

Douge2’s Humor Corner – Two Ways to Look at Gifts

Another NPP groupie wrinkling Faldo's covers. Hate when that happens!

Thanks for the Gift!

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator for safe keeping.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin,

"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Many blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think

Father Daughter Talk
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence."

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him..

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

How many liberals do you tolerate? You are part of the problem.

Suetman123 Wins to Put a Lady in the 1st Quarter Race

This win was just an easy ride in the country for Suetman123.

Suetman123 made a run at the final table and fought off one of the toughest NPP players in K9isadog to win her 5th NPP tourney. She is now dead in the center of the standings for the NPP 1st quarter standings.
Everyone, this is a great league, tournament with fantastic players and people playing in it. Join for next week's tournament!

On to the action:

10 min: LittleRedElf (15^th) with (KK) runs into Wingsfancurt’s trips.

11 min: ThePunk75 (14^th) missed it recording the hand above.

25 min: Derf-63 (13^th) Missed it – phone call.

31 min: A short-stacked Lump2 (12^th) runs into Rjmech’s two pair.

33 min: A SS Wingsfancurt (11^th) has to go with (Ad 3d) and cannot catch Rjmech’s (77).

43 min: A SS Sanster89 (10^th) has to go with (A9) and runs into Rjmech’s (AT). Ouch!

54 min: A SS Tomservo2 (9^th) goes with (A9) but Suetman123 has (TT).

1^st break:

Rjmech    8200

T3chlady   3880

Suetman123   2540

Absea98   1860

Mikeniks-Faldo    1815

Pre01   1755

K9isadog    1410

Tigercub8189     1040 

70 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (8^th) goes with (44) but K9isadog has two pair.

77 min: A SS T3chlady (7^th) runs into K9isadog’s full house.

88 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (6^th) goes with (Ks Qs) (61%) and is called by K9isadog with (5h 4h) (39%) and K9 hits his straight.

89 min: A SS Absea98 (5^th) goes with (99) but K9isadog has (TT)!

107 min: A SS Pre01 (4^th) has to go with (A9) but cannot catch K9isadog’s (88).

109 min: Rjmech (3rd) runs into Suetman123’s two pair.

Quite a battle ensues now!

2^nd break:

Heads up:        K9isadog    12000    -      Suetman123    12500

125 min:          K9isadog    20500    -      Suetman123      4000

130 min:          K9isadog    14500    -      Suetman123     10000

135 min:          K9isadog    16500    -      Suetman123       8000

140 min:          K9isadog      8900    -      Suetman123      15600

145 min:          K9isadog      7100    -      Suetman123      17400

150 min:          K9isadog     16400    -      Suetman123       8100 

133 min: K9isadog (2^nd) has (KJ) and Suetman123 calls with (Q8) and hits a [Q] on the turn!

Congratulations to Suetman123 on her 5th NPP win!

1^st – Suetman123

2^nd – K9isadog 

3^rd – Rjmech

4^th – Pre01

5^th – Absea98

6^th – Mikeniks-Faldo

7^th – T3chlady

8^th – Tigercub8189

9^th – Tomservo2

10^th – Sanster89 

11^th – Wingsfancurt

12^th – Lump2

13^th – Derf-63

14^th – ThePunk75

15^th – LittleRedElf

The 1^st Quarter Standings are on the right side of the blog!

Douge2 Returns to the Winner’s Circle

Douge2's entourage waits for him after the tourney.

This guy should be here more often. Faldo just doesn’t mean playing at NPP, but winning the tourney. This man can play!

Faldo adds to his untouchable record of 2^nd place finishes, to go with his untouchable record of final table and cashing bubble finishes.

The tables were a little uneven, as we had three sit-outs for a while and it soon turned to just one. Wingsfancurt never did make it to the NPP room. But living in Las Vegas, sometimes things happen.

On to the action:

5 min: Sanster89 (18^th) with (TT) sees SpartanFlash (AdJd) hit his flush!

9 min: KingBing420 (17^th) sees her two pair get run down by Rjmech’s full house!

10 min: ThePunk75 (16^th) Missed it playing my hand.

16 min: Theedouble*d (15^th) sees his (JJ) pair run into SpartanFlash’s (AA)! Ouch!

25 min: A short-stacked (SS) Tomservo2 (14^th) with (KQ) lose a coin flip to Suetman123’s (TT).

32 min: A short-stacked (SS) Derf-63 (13^th) runs into Mikeniks-Faldo’s (AA).

33 min: LittleRedElf (12^th) with two pair is out-kicked by Douge2 with the same two pair.

41 min: K9isadog (11^th) with two pair runs into Rjmech’s flush.

48 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (10^th) Missed as the table closed.

49 min: A SS Pre01 (9^th) Missed it answering a phone! Where are the Faldo secretaries!

52 min: Suetman123 (8^th) has a straight that loses to Lump2’s flush.

55 min: Wingsfancurt (7^th) blinds out.

1^st break:

Lump2   7285

Mikeniks-Faldo   6710

SpartanFlash   4715

Douge2   3650

Absea98   2865

Rjmech   1775

69 min: Absea98 (6^th) with (AK) loses a coin flip to Lunp2 with (77).

78 min: Rjmech (5^th) hits his flush, but SpartanFlash has a higher one! Ouch!

83 min: Lump2 (4^th) sees his pair of Queens run into Mikeniks-Faldo’s (AA).

With deep stacks, a long session ensues.

116 min:  A SS SpartanFlash (3rd) goes with (K6), but Mikeniks-Faldo has (A9).

2^nd break:

Douge2    16300

Mikeniks-Faldo    10700

126 min:  Mikeniks-Faldo (2^nd) moves in with (99) and is called by Douge2 with (Ah Th) and Faldo loses the coin flip as his full house is out-pipped by Douge2’s.

Congratulations to Douge2 on his 7^th NPP victory!

1^st – Douge2

2^nd – Mikeniks-Faldo

3^rd – SpartanFlash

4^th – Lump2

5^th – Rjmech

6^th – Absea98

7^th – Wingsfancurt

8^th – Suetman123

9^th – Pre01

10^th – Tigercub8189  

11^th – K9isadog

12^th – LittleRedElf

13^th – Derf-63

14^th – Tomservo2

15^th – Theedouble*d

16^th – ThePunk75

17^th - KingBing420

18^th – Sanster89

The 1st Quarter Standings are on the right side of the blog!

Douge's Humor Corner on the Flop

One of the typical maids at the NPP Headquarters.

Women Are Allowed to Change Their Minds
Dear John, I’m sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.
Love,
Mary
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

A man comes home…from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”
“Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”
“How did you manage that, you fool?”
“It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”

What is the…difference between a professional poker player and God?
God doesn’t think He’s a professional poker player.
 
The regular Friday night poker…game was still going strong after midnight. One of the players returned from the restroom, saying “Bill, I just saw your wife in the bedroom with Frank!”

“OK, that’s it, guys,” Bill yells. “This is definitely the last lap to my big blind.”

 A doctor answers…his phone at home on a Friday night. His colleague says, “We need an eighth player for poker.” The doctor replied, “Hold on. I’ll be there ASAP.” As he was grabbing his coat and keys, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “It sure is,” he said. “There are already seven other doctors there!”

The regular Friday night…poker game was going on when John lost $500 on a single hand, had a heart attack, and died. “Who’s going to tell his wife?” They drew cards, and Bill drew the low card. He knocked on John’s door and told his wife, “John lost $500 at poker tonight.”
She turns red and yells, “Tell that $#*^_^ to DROP DEAD!”
Bill walks away sheepishly and says, “I’ll tell him.”

A man hears a voice…that tells him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. The next day he hears the same voice telling him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. On a third day, he hears the voice again; saying “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He finally obeys.

Upon arriving in Las Vegas, the voice says, “Go to the Rio.” He does.

At the Rio, the voice says, “Put your last $10,000 on a WSOP entry.” He does.

The first hand of the tournament, the man is dealt As Ac. “Go all in,” commands the voice. He does and gets three callers. The flop is Jh Th 9h. “Shit!” says the voice.

Tomservo2 Wins for the First Time in the 2013 Season

Hockey is back and so is Tomservo2!

The Man has been here before - lots of times before. Tomservo2 worked his way thru a large field, withstanding the assault of many a bigger stack. But he had them all at the end. This puts him right behind our early leader Derf-63. It is still a long way to go yet in the first quarter of the season.

Get here and get a chance at a seat in the NPP Final!

On to the action:

Last week started out slow. This week everyone acted like the room was on fire after 10 minutes! I couldn’t even grab a beer or play my own hand and people were running for the exits!

11 min: Sanster89 (19^th) Missed it.

13 min: Wingsfancurt (18^th)  Missed it playing a hand.

17 min: K9isadog (17^th) Missed it playing a hand

18 min: A short-stacked (SS) 8thmile (16^th) goes with (KT) and runs into Lump2’s (AJ).

19 min: 95corolla (15^th) Missed it playing a hand

24 min: A SS Lump2 (14^th) with (AK) is called by a big stack in Theedouble*d with (Kh 9h) and a [9] hits the board.

35 min: A SS Pre01 (13^th) with (KK) and a SS KingBing420 (12^th) with (A3) run into Derf-63 with (AA). Ouch!

40 min: A SS Rjmech (11^th) goes with (AQ) and runs into Mikeniks-Faldo with (AA).

41 min: A SS Douge2 (10^th) has (JJ) and big stack in Theedouble*d with (A9) wins when [AA9] hits the board.

43 min: A (SS) Tigercub8189 (9^th) sees his pair of Jacks lose to Suetman123’s pair of Queens.

Finally, it slows down!

1^st break:

Derf-63    10152

Theedouble*d    6945

ThePunk75    2815

Suetman123   2448

Tomservo2    1909

Cigar4John     1561

Absea98    1455

Mikeniks-Faldo    1215

69 min: A SS Theedouble*d (8^th) has to go with (AJ) and runs into ThePunk75’s (JJ).

88 min: A SS Cigar4john (7^th) is double-teamed by ThePunk75 and the winner Suetman123 with a pair of Tens.

102 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (6^th) goes with (AJ) and loses the coin flip to Suetman123’s (55).

107 min: A SS Derf-63 (5^th) loses to Suetman123’s pair of Sevens.

109 min: A SS Absea98 (4^th) loses to ThePunk75’s pair of Eights.

2^nd break:

Suetman123    12861

ThePunk75    11636

Tomservo2    4003

128 min: A SS ThePunk75 (3rd) goes with (A6) but Tomservo2 hits a [K] holding (K8).

Heads Up:   Suetman123      7600      -     Tomservo2     20900

130 min:      Suetman123      6800      -     Tomservo2     21700

135 min:      Suetman123     15000      -     Tomservo2    13500

140 min:      Suetman123     10000      -     Tomservo2    18500

145 min:      Suetman123      7000      -     Tomservo2     21500

146 min:  Suetman123 (2^nd) hits a pair of Threes, but Tomservo2 has a pair of Tens!

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 12th NPP victory!

1^st –Tomservo2

2^nd – Suetman123

3^rd – ThePunk75

4^th – Absea98

5^th – Derf-63

6^th – Mikeniks-Faldo

7^th – Cigar4John

8^th – Theedouble*d

9^th – Tigercub8189

10^th – Douge2

11^th – Rjmech

12^th – KingBing420

13^th – Pre01

14^th – Lump2

15^th – 95corolla

16^th – 8thmile

17^th – K9isadog

18^th – Wingsfancurt

19^th – Sanster89

The 1st Quarter standings are on the right side of the blog!

Caption This

Douge's Humor Corner: Golfers and Seniors

GOLFER AT THE DENTIST

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.

The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and its 9:30 already...

I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."

So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him."

LEARN FROM YOUR ELDERS
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.
So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun.  I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.  Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.  'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the senior's turn.  He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail.  After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.  The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.  He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Dirty Democrats

"And the Democrats land another right on the taxpayer!"

To Michael Jackson’s “Dirty Diana”. This is even better to sing along to.

You always make me pay,
So take your weight off of me.
I know your every lie,
So won't you just let us be.
I've been here times before
Voters were too blind to see
That you seduce weak people,
But you will never seduce me.
They say that's ok
Hey man, we will do what we please.
We have your stuff that they want.
We are the thing that they need.
They looked me deep in the eyes
They started taunting me to start
They said there's No Turnin' Back,
We trapped them with our ploys!
Dirty Democrats, No

Dirty Democrats, No

Dirty Democrats, No
Just let me be!

They like the people broke,

They know when they start begging in towns.
Every poor persons fan,
Until the voting goes down.
They wait in the Congress halls
For those who have cash and prestige.
They promise fortune and security,

A life that's so carefree.
They say abortion’s ok.
Hey lady, do what you want.
We’ll be your night lovin' thing.
Taxpayers can be The Freak you can taunt.
And we don't care what they want.
We want to go too far.
And take your everything,
If you make liberals the King!

Dirty Democrats, No!

They said you can have a home
Even if you can’t pay you see.
Now libs hate goin' broke alone
Why don't you come with me?
I said I pay for my home
Democrats worried about me.
I didn't call for government help.

I said I like to be free.
Dems walked up to me,
They said what’s yours is ours.
At that I ran to my gun
They said, that’s quite alright.
They said won’t kick in the door,
They said  I forgot the key.
They said they’re not coming back,
With any healthcare or social security for me!
Dirty Democrats, No!

Dirty Democrats, No!

Fucking lying Democrats, No!

Derf-63 Wins His 6th NPP Event

Derf-63 pulled all the right strings tonight.

Derf-63 cut thru the field like a hot knife thru butter! He seemed to take out the bigger stacks first and then just gobble up the little stacks remaining.

Sixteen players tonight and that is about normal. Why we don’t have 30 is a mystery to Faldo – and a crying shame. But it is what it is and I love the players that are here. 

Everyone was serious tonight, I got to tell you! Derf-63 beat everyone’s best effort that is for sure!

On to the action:

5 min: Cigar4John (16^th) loses to Tomservo2’s full house!

31 min: A short-stacked (SS) Suetman123 (15^th) sees her (A9) run into Lump2’s (AT). Ouch! Then the game tightens up – big time!

52 min: Tigercub8189 (14^th) with (AA) loses to Derf-63’s trip Tens.

55 min: A SS K9isadog (13^th) goes with (99) and loses the coin flip to T3chlady with (Ah Kh) and a king on the board.

This may be a record as to the percentage of starters than made it to the first break.

1^st break:

Derf-63    4445

ThePunk75    4215

Lump2    2505

Sanster89    2120

95corolla    2115

T3chlady   2020

Tomservo2    1940

Pre01    1770

Rjmech     1565

Absea98    650

Mikeniks-Faldo    450

Theedouble*d    205

61 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (12^th) pairs his Sevens but runs into Derf-63’s (JJ).

65 min: Theedouble*d (11^th) blinds out.

70 min: A SS T3chlady (10^th) is double-teamed by 95corolla and the winner with a Broadway straight, Derf-63.

73 min: A SS Rjmech (9^th) goes with (77) and runs into Sanster89’s two pair.

76 min: A double knockout as Absea98 (8^th) has (KK), Sanster89 (7^th) has (AK), but Derf-63 is holding (AA)! Wow!

79 min: A SS Pre01 (6^th) goes with (88) and loses the coin flip to Derf-63’s (As Qs), with a [Q] on the flop.

91 min: A SS 95corolla (5^th) has to go with (Kc Tc) and Tomservo2 calls with (AA).

94 min: A SS Lump2 (4th) goes with (A4) and runs into Derf-63’s (Ad Jd)!

98 min: ThePunk75 (3rd) gets trip Threes, but is out-kicked by Derf-63’s (A3).

Heads Up:     Derf-63     19900      -     Tomservo2    4100

105 min: Tomservo2 (2^nd) has a pair of Fives but Derf-63 has a pair of Eights – oh, and a straight!

Congratulation to Derf-63 on his 6th NPP win!

1^st – Derf -63

2^nd – Tomservo2

3^rd – ThePunk75

4^th – Lump2

5^th – 95corolla

6^th – Pre01

7^th – Sanster89

8^th – Absea98

9^th – Rjmech

10^th – T3chlady

11^th – Theedouble*d

12^th – Mikeniks-Faldo

13^th – K9isadog

14^th – Tigercub8189

15^th – Suetman123

16^th – Cigar4John

The 1st Quarter Standings and the Total Point Standings are on the right side of the blog!

Welcome to Our Third World Country in Taylor, MI. - Obamaville

Or Welcome to the new United States of Idiots:
TAYLOR, MI (WWJ) - An event designed to help assist Michigan families with housing expenses turned into a chaotic scene after there was a mad rush to collect Section 8 Housing Choice Vouchers.
The incident happened Saturday morning at the Wayne County Family Health Services Center on Eureka Road, between Beech Daly and Inkster roads in Taylor — where thousands of people were waiting to get housing vouchers, many who had been waiting outside in the cold since the night before.
Reports say the amount of people who showed up looking for assistance heavily outweighed the number of vouchers to be distributed. As the night was fading away and the sun started to shine, the crowd continued to grow as more and more people arrived. According to reports, only 1,000 vouchers were available for distribution. An estimated 3,000 to 4,000 people were in attendance.
When it came time for the vouchers to be distributed, police said there was a mad rush for the door, with people jockeying for position to be the first inside the building. Officers tried to control the crowd, but couldn’t. Fearing the situation was more than they could handle, event organizers shut the entire thing down and turned off the lights inside the building. Witnesses say that’s when things really got ugly.
Star Lee, of Romulus, described the scene as complete chaos.
“People just don’t have order to themselves, you know what I mean? People were fighting and throwing chairs, and that’s just not necessary. We were asked to just come and line up and, you know, make things simple. They shut it down before it even got started and it’s just sad because some people really needed this help, this assistance,” she said.
Candice Wacasey, of Taylor, said she was frightened.
Garbage litters the ground at a human services building in Taylor where thousands of people rioted when a Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher distribution event was cancelled.
“When the lights went out, it went horrible. People started trampling over people, there was a disabled lady that was in a wheelchair and they was trying to knock her over to get in front of her. I mean, just crazy,” she said.
Lenny Syer, of Melvindale, said some people lost all inhibitions, even muscling small children out-of-the-way.
“There was people who was physically putting their hands on people’s childs (sic) and moving them. It was unbelievable,” he said.
Additional help was called in from Michigan State Police, who helped Taylor police control the melee and disperse the crowd. Four people were arrested, but police say no one was injured.
Police say the event will be rescheduled, although specific details still need to be worked out.
“Due to the high demand of the Section 8 vouchers, we will meet with HUD Representatives to discuss the series of events, re-evaluate the distribution method and implement a process that ensures a greater level of efficiency and safety,” Mary Radamacher, Director of the Taylor Housing Commission, said in a statement.
Some of those in attendance Saturday said they hope organizers will be extra cautious and bring in additional security to insure things go differently next time.
According to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, the Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher program is the federal government’s major program for assisting very low-income families, the elderly and the disabled to afford decent, safe and sanitary housing in the private market. A housing subsidy is paid to the landlord directly by the government on behalf of the participating family, which then pays the difference between the actual rent charged by the landlord and the amount subsidized by the program.

Faldo notes: So the landlord charges $1500 for a $1000 a month rental. The tenant pays the $1000 – either with money, sex or drugs or some combination – and the taxpayer pays the landlord $500.
Or the landlord gets $500 from the taxpayer, $500 from the tenant – then eventually nothing from the tenant. The tenant eventually uses the $500 savings on on drugs, alcohol, cell phones, sex and partying – until thrown out of the rental.
The landlord then takes losses far larger than the rent he collected (whether he actually did or not will depend on the tenant), and will pay no taxes on the money he made. The tenant will then start the process over with a different landlord.
Only the taxpayer continues to be the one losing out. Welcome to Obamaville and the United States of Idiots.

Something about this Girl is Very Attractive

The perfect accessory for the first 3/4ths of a date.

This invention could put divorce lawyers out of work!

The Man in the Mirror

Sorry my hero. Your fellow Americans voted against you and me.

It is an easy sing along. Faldo’s got the full version here.

Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror.

I'm gonna make a change,
For once in my life
It's not gonna feel good,
It’s gonna make a difference
Gonna make it simple . . .
As I, turn up the collar on my
Favorite NRA coat
This wind is blowin' my mind
I see the people in the cities,
With not enough jobs to live
Who am I to even care?
They pretend not to see
Their deeds
A summer's disregard,
A broken voting system
And One Man's goal
They follow each other on
The wind Ya' know
'Cause they got nowhere
To go
That's why I want you to
know
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm asking him to change
his ways
And no message could have
been any clearer
If you wanna take yourself to
A better place
Take a look at yourself, and
Then make a change
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)
I've been a victim of a selfish
Love of country
It's time that I realize
That real Americans no longer have a
Home, Not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me,
Realizing that real Americans are alone?
A veteran deeply scarred,
Founding fathers broken heart
And a washed-out dream
They follow the pattern of
Communism, Ya' see
Cause they want their power
To be
That's why I'm starting with
Me
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And no Election could have
Been any clearer
If You wanna make your world
A better place
Take a look at yourself and
Then make a change
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm asking him to realize its gone
And no election could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna take yourself to
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
Change!
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
I'm Asking Him To Change
His alliance.
(Better Change!)
No election Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause You got to Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better change)
You Know . . .That Man
No election Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make your World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look protecting yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Not Gonna Feel Real Good!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
Not Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just care about yourself
You Know
You've got to help Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To help Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.

SpartanFlash Wins the First Tourney of the New NPP Season

Find two of something. Faldo sees two foot prints.

It is SpartanFlash's second NPP win, and he got the first back in 2011. But due to other commitments, he can’t be as regular a player as he would like. From the looks of the way he handled this stable of poker greats many players here are fine with that!

A fantastic crowd tonight as nineteen players made it to the NPP felt on opening night. Thanks to everyone for your loyalty. Faldo is deeply thankful for this support. Many of you make it when you can - and I am thankful to all of you.

On to the action: 

8 min: A short-stacked (SS) Sanster89 (19^th) runs into Rjmech with (AK).

22 min: Lump2 (18^th) calls with (AQ), but Rjmech has (AK). I see a pattern here.

32 min: T3chlady (17^th) sees her (KK) get run down by Rjmech’s (AK). Yep - a pattern.

39 min: A SS Tomservo2 (16^th) with (AJ) is double-teamed by Wingsfancurt (77) and the winner – Theedouble*d with (KK).

43 min: Tigercub8189 (15^th) Missed it playing a hand.

48 min: Absea98 (14^th) with (AJ) hits two pair but ThePunk75 makes the Broadway straight with (AK). Anna Kournikova is hot tonight!

55 min: 8thmile (13^th) started the tourney then blinded out.

1^st break:

ThePunk75    4200

Cigar4John     3890

Theedouble*d    2965  

Derf-63   2960

Pre01    2190

LittleRedElf   1985

Mikeniks-Faldo    1850

SpartanFlash   1430

Suetman123   1055

Wingsfancurt    620

95corolla   520

64 min: Cigar4John (12^th) with (AK) is double-teamed by Suetman123 with (KQ) who hits two pair and Rjmech with (AA). Ouch!

68 min: A SS Wingsfancurt (11^th) goes with (A7) and Rjmech calls with (K5) and hits a four-flush.

74 min: Theedouble*d (10^th) runs into SpartanFlash’s trip Fours.

81 min: A short-stacked (SS) Pre01 (9^th) sees his (Jd 9d) get double-teamed by ThePunk75 and the winner Mikeniks-Faldo with trip Threes.

92 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (8^th) has to go with (AQ) and runs into ThePunk75’s – what else? - (AK). Those were the cards to hold tonight.

97 min: A SS Suetman123 (7^th) runs into SpartanFlash’s flush.

99 min: LittleRedElf (6^th) goes with (TT) and runs into Rjmech’s (AA).

101 min: A SS ThePunk75 (5^th) goes with (77) but runs into SpartanFlash’s (JJ).

107 min: A SS 95corolla (4^th) has to go with (KQ) and runs into SpartanFlash’s (Ah Th).

114 min: A SS Derf-63 (3rd) goes with (A2) but Rjmech has (55).

Heads Up:   SpartanFlash     6100      -     Rjmech     22400

120 min (2^nd break):    SpartanFlash     6600      -     Rjmech     21900

125 min:    SpartanFlash    13300      -     Rjmech     15200

128 min:  Rjmech (2^nd) hits a pair of tens, but SpartanFlash has a pair of Kings!

Congratulations to SpartanFlash on his 2nd NPP victory!

1^st – SpartanFlash

2^nd – Rjmech

3^rd – Derf-63

4^th – 95corolla

5^th – ThePunk75

6^th – LittleRedElf

7^th – Suetman123

8^th – Mikeniks-Faldo

9^th – Pre01

10^th – Theedouble*d

11^th – Wingsfancurt

12^th – Cigar4John

13^th – 8thmile

14^th – Absea98

15^th – Tigercub8189

16^th – Tomservo2

17^th - T3chlady

18^th – Lump2

19^th – Sanster89

The 1st Quarter standings are on the right side of the blog!

Boother Had a Fun New Year’s Day Poker Game

Deanna Merryman has a message for all not joining the NPP Tuesday League

Boother offered his man cave for the festivities. He also offered all the snacks you could eat and beer you could drink! My idea of the perfect host!

In attendance at the Boother tournament table were Matchy, Bo, Kegger, Dave E, and of course Faldo. 

The game got started a little after 1pm – with a cheap buy-in - and after a few introductory hands of Holdem, Omaha 8 H/L, and Omaha, we moved on to some of the ‘silly’ games.

But it was another fine day of poker action, breaking up near 8pm so we could all get ready for the fast approaching work week. 

Thanks Boother for hosting!

Note to everyone: Please assist me in shaming Matchy and Boother into returning to the NPP League – and inviting Dave, Kegger and Bo to join also. Comments please!