Douge2’s Humor Corner XXXVII

Luck of the Draw

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?”

The waiter replied, “Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!”

The cowboy said, “What the heck. Bring me an order.”

The waiter replied, “I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.”

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, “These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.”

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull … he wins.”


NEW GOLF TERMS

1. A "James Joyce" - a putt that's an impossible read.

2. A "Rock Hudson" - it looked straight, but wasn't.

3. A "Saddam Hussein" - from one bunker into another.

4. A "Yasser Arafat" - butt ugly and in the sand.

5. A "John Kennedy Jr"., - didn't make it over the water.

6. A "Rodney King" - over-clubbed.

7. An "O.J. Simpson" - got away with it.

8. A "Princess Grace" - should have used a driver.

9. A "Princess Di" - shouldn't have used a driver.

10. A "Paris Hilton" - a very expensive hole.

11. A "Rush Limbaugh" - a bit too far to the right.

12. A "Nancy Pelosi" - way too far to the left.

13. A "Barbra Streisand" - ugly but still works.

14. A "Teddy Kennedy" - goes in the water, but jumps out.