Douge2’s Humor Corner IX

Silence is Golden

Sirgash had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.

“So,” says the cop to Sirgash, “where have you been?”
“Why, I've been to the bar of course,” slurs Sirgash.

“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.”
“Maybe a few, but not too many,” the drunk Sirgash says with a smile.

“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”

“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs Sirgash. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.”


Strong Bladder

Mrs. Tigercub is home making dinner, as usual, when TrippAA arrives at her door.

“May I come in?” he asks. “I've something to tell you”.

“Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tripp. But where's my husband?”
“That's what I'm here to tell you. There was an accident down at the brewery...”

“Oh, no!" cries Mrs. Cub. “Please don't tell me.”
“I must. Your husband is dead and gone. I'm sorry.”

Finally, she looked up at Tripp. “How did it happen?”
“It was terrible. He fell into a vat of Bud Light and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tripp. Did he at least go quickly?”

“Well no, Tripp admits, “In fact, he got out three times to pee.”


Leaving Commando

Beerhog staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds five times on the wall.

Beerhog mumbles, "No use knocking, there's no paper on this side either!"