Douge2’s Humor Corner – XXVII

Cocktail Conversation

A woman arrived at a party and while scanning the guests, spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen."

"That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the 2 things that I enjoy the most - cars and men.

Therefore, I chose "Carmen. What's your name?"

He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."


Common Sense Douge2

Two poker players, Faldo and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar,
drinking beer.

Doug turns to Nik and says, “You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.”

Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave.

The next day, Doug goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.

“Logic?” Doug says. “What's that?”

The dean says, “I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”

“Yeah.”

“Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you
would have a yard.”

“That's true, I do have a yard.”

“I'm not done,” the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.”

“Yes, I do have a house.”

“And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.”

“Yes, I have a family.”

“I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.”

“I am a heterosexual. That's amazing! You were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.”

Excited to take the class now, Doug shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Faldo at the bar. He tells Faldo about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Nik says, “What's that?”

Doug says, “I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?”

“No.”

“Then you're gay.”