Douge2 weaved thru a field of twenty-one others to take the top spot tonight.
Faldo was late to the game due to business in Canada. We did get to welcome back Nahanni74 and Fourbetbluff back to the NPP action. Great to see these two great players back in the mix for an NPP seat.
On to the action:
Remember, Faldo was late to the festivities:
4 min: T3chlady (22nd)
7 min: Derf-63 (21st)
10 min: xxxKdogxxx (20th)
20 min: Yecats423 (19th)
32 min: Pre01 (18th)
38 min: Suetman1 (17th)
42 min: Meatsword (16th)
46 min: A short-stacked (SS) Odds2win777 (15th) moves in with (Jc Tc), but cannot catch Douge2’s (As Ks).
48 min: A SS Wingsfancurt (14th) has to go with (QJ) and runs into Douge2’s (JJ). An omen that Doug will be tough this evening!
49 min: ThePunk75 (13th) Sorry I missed it – internet issues.
55 min: A recently SS’ed Fourbetbluff (12th) sees his (KK) get run over by Rjmech’s (A2) as a [A2J] comes on the flop. Sometimes it is just not your night.
1st break:
Rjmech 5253
Douge2 5060
Theedouble*d 4790
Mistermusic5 4650
Eyekall 3334
Nahanni74 1915
Absea98 1912
Tigercub8189 1888
Tomservo2 1865
K9isadog 1473
LittleRedElf 860
The talent in this league is something. Look how long the battle lasts with all these short stacks!
66 min: A now SS Theedouble*d (11th) goes with (KQ) and runs into Tomservo2’s (AA).
80 min: A SS LittleRedElf (10th) flops two pair (T3) with a flop of [KT3]. Eyekall can’t go anywhere with his (KQ) and he hits a [Q] on the river.
88 min: Absea98 (9th) sees his (KK) run into Rjmech’s (AA). Ouch!!!!
90 min: A SS Tomservo2 (8th) gets triple-teamed by Douge2, Eyekall and the winner, Mistermusic5.
95 min: Tigercub8189 (7th) has (JJ) and minimum bets Douge2 (Ad 6d), all the way to the river. Doug has a straight and flush draw – along with an over card. Doug hits his flush on the river.
99 min: Nahanni74 (6th)
109 min: A SS Mistermusic5 (5th) goes with (7d 4d) and gets double-teamed by Rjmech and the winner, Douge2 (Qs Js).
112 min: K9isadog (4th) goes with (AT), but Eyekall has (Ac Kc).
113 min: Rjmech (3rd) goes with (KT), and a flop of [K36], but Douge2 is holding (K3)! Ouch!
Heads up: Douge2 23000 - Eyekall 10000
115 min: Douge2 26300 - Eyekall 6700
139 min: Eyekall (2nd) fights back, close to even in chips and goes with (AT). Douge2 calls holding (KJ) and hits a [J] on the flop.
Congratulations to Douge2 on the win!
1st – Douge2 24 pts
2nd – Eyekall 19 pts
3rd – Rjmech 15 pts
4th – K9isadog 12 pts
5th – Mistermusic5 9 pts
6th – Nahanni74 7 pts
7th – Tigercub8189 5 pts
8th – Tomservo2 4 pts
9th – Absea98 3 pts
Standings and totals are on the right side of the blog.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Douge2’s Humor Corner – XXXXIX
Grab on Tight!!
The other day, a gentleman went to the dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a needle to give him a shot. "No way"! No needles! "I hate needles", the man said.
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I can't do gas either; the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me"!
As a last resort, the dentist then asks the gentleman if he has any objection to taking a pill. "Hell no", the man said. "Finally a good solution. I'm fine with pills".
The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet."
The gentleman said in amazement, "WOW! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth!"
Subject: What Faldo Would Have Said if He Was Tiger Woods
To my wife: I'm sorry. I screwed up and I won't ever do it again. I love you. But I can’t change it, so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check I agreed to in the prenup....sorry.
To my fans: Get over it. Where I dip my wick is none of your business. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop puts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis.
To the media: You losers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years, knowing exactly what has been going on…. and now ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck all ya'll. I'm glad I got a break from answering the same bullshit questions over and over again.
To the other golfers: Kiss my ass! Some of you come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could count? You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys. But I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches.
That's all I got today folks.....see ya at Augusta!
Oh and Bambi, if my wife takes the check - and you're listening - I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes.
The other day, a gentleman went to the dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a needle to give him a shot. "No way"! No needles! "I hate needles", the man said.
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I can't do gas either; the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me"!
As a last resort, the dentist then asks the gentleman if he has any objection to taking a pill. "Hell no", the man said. "Finally a good solution. I'm fine with pills".
The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet."
The gentleman said in amazement, "WOW! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth!"
Subject: What Faldo Would Have Said if He Was Tiger Woods
To my wife: I'm sorry. I screwed up and I won't ever do it again. I love you. But I can’t change it, so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check I agreed to in the prenup....sorry.
To my fans: Get over it. Where I dip my wick is none of your business. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop puts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis.
To the media: You losers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years, knowing exactly what has been going on…. and now ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck all ya'll. I'm glad I got a break from answering the same bullshit questions over and over again.
To the other golfers: Kiss my ass! Some of you come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could count? You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys. But I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches.
That's all I got today folks.....see ya at Augusta!
Oh and Bambi, if my wife takes the check - and you're listening - I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Faldo Wins a Full Tilt 90 Player SNG
Faldo has migrated to these SNG's as the 500 to 10000 player tourney cashes are just too long in coming. (twhs)
The big tourney cashes are great - when they happen - but Faldo likes to replenish the backroll a little more often.
I will still play in the "big ones" but they will consist of maybe 20% of my tourney entries - with one table and multi-table SNG's splitting the other 80% of my tournament action.
On to the action on how Faldo won:
I got to the final table in 6th place in chips and the entire table sat out - except me. I noticed it after an hour and then slowly won all the blinds. After all, just because there was no seated players, doesn't mean you raise with (72) UTG.
The key to winning a tournament (which I finally understand) is to WIN THE COIN FLIPS!!!! I won virtually every AK vs PP face off, no matter which side of the coin I had.
Tourneys are a gamble. Being a good player only increases the chance that you might catch lightening in a bottle, or Lady Luck, or a hot streak, or being a 'luck box', or whatever else you want to call it.
But to win a tourney, you still have to catch the breaks. - Faldo
Friday, September 24, 2010
True Poker Updates Their Site – Check it Out!
Niks Poker Palace – supporting youth hockey (see picture), PokerStars and True Poker (started in 2000).
Big thanks to Beerhog, BigBrimar, DavetheDog and Faldo himself for contributions to the sign fund at the Beerhog Hockey Golf Outing.
PokerStars – I love you, but one of the sites I cannot seem to leave alone is True Poker.
It has 3D tables, talking avatars and quirky table surroundings that are just too much fun to ignore.
True Poker’s old lobby was hard to navigate and tough to read. But they have updated their software, their lobby look and added a 2D table option.
They accept US players and eWalletXpress is an option for loading the site and cashing out.
Cashing out has never been a problem. What is a problem is the low volume of players (True Poker ranks 25th in the world in traffic) and the occasional software freeze. But refunds are given quickly.
All this site has to do to get bigger is add many cheap tourneys - and ADVERTISE! Faldo is attempting to help out with the latter.
Go to the site and even if you play for free, the software is worth checking out.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Review of “Detroit 1-8-7” is Truthful. Word!
Mike Carlisle, a retired Detroit homicide detective gave a critique of the new police drama, “Detroit 1-8-7.” But in my never humble opinion, it is a pointed critique of not only the failed system of Democrat liberalism in Detroit politics, but also of an accomplice media who fails to report total anarchy – that is Detroit.
Here is Carlisle’s review:
"When asked to review this new series, I admit I was a little skeptical. As a retired Detroit homicide detective I generally don't watch cop shows, whether reality or Hollywood entertainment. But I was intrigued because this particular show revolves around the day-to-day activities of the Detroit Police Homicide Section.
I know this is fictional and for entertainment purposes, but from what I've heard, the producers tried to make this as close to reality as they could to showcase Detroit Homicide at work. That's fine, but I did notice a few irregularities.
The first thing I notice are the decent cars the detectives drive. "This can't be Detroit!" I said to myself.
This past Sunday I pulled up next to my old squad boss traveling on Eight Mile on his way to a homicide scene. He was still driving the old Chevy I used to drive for 10 years. He told me nothing's changed as I remarked about the condition of his vehicle.
I remember when one detective had to take the city bus to a scene because of the condition and lack of cars available.
Next thing is detectives finding a fingerprint on a spent bullet casing? Which produced a suspect? This type of forensic work takes weeks — and, in Detroit, months — to complete.
In my 10 years in homicide, I had only one fingerprint on a casing come back from the crime lab. It took eight months to get it. By the time I got the results, the killer had already been convicted and sentenced to life in prison.
And don't forget, Detroit doesn't even have a police lab anymore. It was shut down in September 2008 after an audit found an unacceptable error rate and poor quality controls.
Next: Interview of the suspects? I wish Detroit had those two-way mirrors.
Next: I noticed in one scene a helicopter in the air. Couldn't have been ours. Budget cuts got rid of them a long time ago.” - MC
Mike Carlisle retired in 2008 after 21 years with the Detroit Police Department, 10 of them in the Homicide Section. Carlisle — badge No. 4339 — was considered one of the finest homicide detectives in the city. He closed well above 50 percent of his cases, including a serial killer, in a city with more than 11,000 homicides dating back to 1960.
Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy when you go to a Lions, Tigers or Wings game doesn’t it? If you or your family members are killed in Detroit, the detectives will take a bus to the scene to gather evidence that will take 8 months to get analyzed.
And remember, if you are a CCW permit owner, YOU are breaking the law if you bring your weapon with you to defend yourself. Only liberals can make our constitutional rights illegal.
Meanwhile the local media reports on global warming protests, teacher union demands, electric cars and how much gas costs today. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Here is Carlisle’s review:
"When asked to review this new series, I admit I was a little skeptical. As a retired Detroit homicide detective I generally don't watch cop shows, whether reality or Hollywood entertainment. But I was intrigued because this particular show revolves around the day-to-day activities of the Detroit Police Homicide Section.
I know this is fictional and for entertainment purposes, but from what I've heard, the producers tried to make this as close to reality as they could to showcase Detroit Homicide at work. That's fine, but I did notice a few irregularities.
The first thing I notice are the decent cars the detectives drive. "This can't be Detroit!" I said to myself.
This past Sunday I pulled up next to my old squad boss traveling on Eight Mile on his way to a homicide scene. He was still driving the old Chevy I used to drive for 10 years. He told me nothing's changed as I remarked about the condition of his vehicle.
I remember when one detective had to take the city bus to a scene because of the condition and lack of cars available.
Next thing is detectives finding a fingerprint on a spent bullet casing? Which produced a suspect? This type of forensic work takes weeks — and, in Detroit, months — to complete.
In my 10 years in homicide, I had only one fingerprint on a casing come back from the crime lab. It took eight months to get it. By the time I got the results, the killer had already been convicted and sentenced to life in prison.
And don't forget, Detroit doesn't even have a police lab anymore. It was shut down in September 2008 after an audit found an unacceptable error rate and poor quality controls.
Next: Interview of the suspects? I wish Detroit had those two-way mirrors.
Next: I noticed in one scene a helicopter in the air. Couldn't have been ours. Budget cuts got rid of them a long time ago.” - MC
Mike Carlisle retired in 2008 after 21 years with the Detroit Police Department, 10 of them in the Homicide Section. Carlisle — badge No. 4339 — was considered one of the finest homicide detectives in the city. He closed well above 50 percent of his cases, including a serial killer, in a city with more than 11,000 homicides dating back to 1960.
Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy when you go to a Lions, Tigers or Wings game doesn’t it? If you or your family members are killed in Detroit, the detectives will take a bus to the scene to gather evidence that will take 8 months to get analyzed.
And remember, if you are a CCW permit owner, YOU are breaking the law if you bring your weapon with you to defend yourself. Only liberals can make our constitutional rights illegal.
Meanwhile the local media reports on global warming protests, teacher union demands, electric cars and how much gas costs today. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
ThePunk75 Wins Round One of the 4th Quarter
After just missing in the 3rd quarter, ThePunk75 let the league know he will be around this time also. He bested 20 other NPP veterans to take the early league lead.
Faldo was hoping to see some of our old friends tonight and maybe even some new players. But our turnout and league is still as talent laden and as strong as ever.
On to the action:
22 min: A short-stacked (SS) Derf-63 (21st) has to go with (QJ) and runs into T3chlady (Ad Kd), and does not catch up.
26 min: A SS Suetman1 (20th) goes with (Js 8s) but cannot catch K9isadog’s (KK).
29 min: Theedouble*d (19th).
37 min: Mistermusic5 (18th) has (QQ) and is called by Wingsfancurt with (AK). Curt wins the coin flip with a [K] on the flop.
38 min: A (SS) Tigercub8189 (17th) has to go with his (Ah 8h) and runs into Pre01’s (AJ).
43 min: Douge2 (16th).
46 min: A SS Yecats423 (15th) goes with (QT), but can’t catch Rjmech’s (K6).
50 min: Eyekall (14th) goes with (AA) and Odds2win calls with (99), but a [9] hit on the flop.
58 min: xxxKdogxxx (13th)
60 min: A SS Funtoon (12th) tries to fight the Break Monster with (Ac Qc). He gets his call by K9isadog (A8) and an [8] hits on the flop. The Break Monster claims yet another victim.
1st break:
Pre01 5245
K9isadog 3868
Meatsword 3475
ThePunk75 3468
T3chlady 3260
Odds2win777 3245
Wingsfancurt 2910
LittleRedElf 2705
Absea98 1572
Rjmech 1432
Tomservo2 320
65 min: Tomservo2 (11th)
66 min: Odds2win777 (10th) has (QT) and hits a [Q] on the flop and moves all-in. ThePunk75 is holding (AA) and does not get run down.
68 min: LittleRedElf gets crippled to just 3 BB’s of chips left when his over-card and flush draw (Ah Jh) doesn’t catch K9isadog’s (KK). But the Elf mounts a comeback!
59 min: A SS Absea98 (9th) goes with (A9) (58%) and Pre01 calls with (6s 5s) (42%) and hits a [6] on the river.
77 min: A SS Rjmech (8th) (Qh Jh) (14%) is tripled-teamed by the chip leader Wingsfancurt with (QQ) (61%) and LittleRedElf with (AJ) (24%). The Elf hits his [A] on the flop!
87 min: LittleRedElf’s (7th) comeback ends when he loses a coin flip with (Ad Kd) to Wingsfancurt’s (66). The Elf exits a short time later.
90 min: Pre01 (6th) moves with (TT) (45%) and gets double-teamed by Wingsfancurt (AJ) (36%) and T3chlady (77) (19%). The Lady takes it all with a [7] on the river!
92 min: The now SS Wingsfancurt (5th) goes with (QT), but ThePunk75 has (AK).
95 min: A SS K9isadog (4th) has to try with (97) when the flop comes down [963] (64%), but Meatsword (7c 5c) (32%) hits his straight.
108 min: T3chlady (3rd) sees her (JJ) run into ThePunk75’s (AA).
Heads up: ThePunk75 24500 - 7000 Meatsword
110 min: ThePunk75 19500 - 12000 Meatsword
115 min: ThePunk75 22000 - 9500 Meatsword
120 min: ThePunk75 25500 - 6000 Meatsword
123 min: Meatsword (2nd) has to go with (T9) but can’t catch ThePunk75’s (Q2). Congratulations to the Punk!
1st – ThePunk75 – 24 points
2nd – Meatsword – 19 points
3rd – T3chlady – 15 pts
4th – K9isadog – 12 pts
5th – Wingsfancurt – 9 pts
6th – Pre01 – 7 pts
7th – LittleRedElf – 5 pts
8th – Rjmech – 4 pts
9th – Absea98 – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings are on the right side of the blog.
Faldo was hoping to see some of our old friends tonight and maybe even some new players. But our turnout and league is still as talent laden and as strong as ever.
On to the action:
22 min: A short-stacked (SS) Derf-63 (21st) has to go with (QJ) and runs into T3chlady (Ad Kd), and does not catch up.
26 min: A SS Suetman1 (20th) goes with (Js 8s) but cannot catch K9isadog’s (KK).
29 min: Theedouble*d (19th).
37 min: Mistermusic5 (18th) has (QQ) and is called by Wingsfancurt with (AK). Curt wins the coin flip with a [K] on the flop.
38 min: A (SS) Tigercub8189 (17th) has to go with his (Ah 8h) and runs into Pre01’s (AJ).
43 min: Douge2 (16th).
46 min: A SS Yecats423 (15th) goes with (QT), but can’t catch Rjmech’s (K6).
50 min: Eyekall (14th) goes with (AA) and Odds2win calls with (99), but a [9] hit on the flop.
58 min: xxxKdogxxx (13th)
60 min: A SS Funtoon (12th) tries to fight the Break Monster with (Ac Qc). He gets his call by K9isadog (A8) and an [8] hits on the flop. The Break Monster claims yet another victim.
1st break:
Pre01 5245
K9isadog 3868
Meatsword 3475
ThePunk75 3468
T3chlady 3260
Odds2win777 3245
Wingsfancurt 2910
LittleRedElf 2705
Absea98 1572
Rjmech 1432
Tomservo2 320
65 min: Tomservo2 (11th)
66 min: Odds2win777 (10th) has (QT) and hits a [Q] on the flop and moves all-in. ThePunk75 is holding (AA) and does not get run down.
68 min: LittleRedElf gets crippled to just 3 BB’s of chips left when his over-card and flush draw (Ah Jh) doesn’t catch K9isadog’s (KK). But the Elf mounts a comeback!
59 min: A SS Absea98 (9th) goes with (A9) (58%) and Pre01 calls with (6s 5s) (42%) and hits a [6] on the river.
77 min: A SS Rjmech (8th) (Qh Jh) (14%) is tripled-teamed by the chip leader Wingsfancurt with (QQ) (61%) and LittleRedElf with (AJ) (24%). The Elf hits his [A] on the flop!
87 min: LittleRedElf’s (7th) comeback ends when he loses a coin flip with (Ad Kd) to Wingsfancurt’s (66). The Elf exits a short time later.
90 min: Pre01 (6th) moves with (TT) (45%) and gets double-teamed by Wingsfancurt (AJ) (36%) and T3chlady (77) (19%). The Lady takes it all with a [7] on the river!
92 min: The now SS Wingsfancurt (5th) goes with (QT), but ThePunk75 has (AK).
95 min: A SS K9isadog (4th) has to try with (97) when the flop comes down [963] (64%), but Meatsword (7c 5c) (32%) hits his straight.
108 min: T3chlady (3rd) sees her (JJ) run into ThePunk75’s (AA).
Heads up: ThePunk75 24500 - 7000 Meatsword
110 min: ThePunk75 19500 - 12000 Meatsword
115 min: ThePunk75 22000 - 9500 Meatsword
120 min: ThePunk75 25500 - 6000 Meatsword
123 min: Meatsword (2nd) has to go with (T9) but can’t catch ThePunk75’s (Q2). Congratulations to the Punk!
1st – ThePunk75 – 24 points
2nd – Meatsword – 19 points
3rd – T3chlady – 15 pts
4th – K9isadog – 12 pts
5th – Wingsfancurt – 9 pts
6th – Pre01 – 7 pts
7th – LittleRedElf – 5 pts
8th – Rjmech – 4 pts
9th – Absea98 – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings are on the right side of the blog.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Douge2’s Humor Corner - XXXXVIII
IRS Agents Are Made, Not Born
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit he books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question . "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."
A Golf Story
A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story, and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa".
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know Daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy. And good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in, and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight, he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch, and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it. I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day. You'll never believe what happened to me...this morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit he books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question . "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."
A Golf Story
A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story, and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa".
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know Daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy. And good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in, and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight, he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch, and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it. I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day. You'll never believe what happened to me...this morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Community Card Review – X
The Democrat controlled Associated Press is reporting that illegal immigrants are giving a population boost to major cities across the United States.
You see, major cities have been seeing a decline in population as American citizens flee the high unemployment, high taxes, high crime rates, terrible city schools and services. Cities like Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, New York, San Francisco and Detroit all lost American born citizens in record numbers. But their illegal immigrant populations are climbing.
What do all these cities have in common? They are all VERY liberal / Democrat run cities in VERY liberal/ Democrat run states.
Losing population would mean losing Congressional seats in these liberal hotbeds of utter lunacy. Democrats needed to stop the flood of lost population in their cities before the 2010 census.
The immigrant population that supposedly lives in the shadows, with no voice, suddenly become front line pawns to be used to shore up Democrat districts. Forget the fact that they live in both poverty and danger just to shore up Democrat voter rolls. Forget the fact that they are not citizens. After all, since when have laws and the Constitution mattered to Democrats?
This is why Democrats have action groups like ACORN out there stuffing census ballots and ballot boxes. They have to cheat to win. Holding power is all that matters to leftists.
If you question this unlawful behavior of the Democrats, you will be called a racist. You are supposed to shut up and let Democrats fraud, deceive and cheat, as they always do.
Real Americans will win regardless - or die fighting for freedom.
You see, major cities have been seeing a decline in population as American citizens flee the high unemployment, high taxes, high crime rates, terrible city schools and services. Cities like Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, New York, San Francisco and Detroit all lost American born citizens in record numbers. But their illegal immigrant populations are climbing.
What do all these cities have in common? They are all VERY liberal / Democrat run cities in VERY liberal/ Democrat run states.
Losing population would mean losing Congressional seats in these liberal hotbeds of utter lunacy. Democrats needed to stop the flood of lost population in their cities before the 2010 census.
The immigrant population that supposedly lives in the shadows, with no voice, suddenly become front line pawns to be used to shore up Democrat districts. Forget the fact that they live in both poverty and danger just to shore up Democrat voter rolls. Forget the fact that they are not citizens. After all, since when have laws and the Constitution mattered to Democrats?
This is why Democrats have action groups like ACORN out there stuffing census ballots and ballot boxes. They have to cheat to win. Holding power is all that matters to leftists.
If you question this unlawful behavior of the Democrats, you will be called a racist. You are supposed to shut up and let Democrats fraud, deceive and cheat, as they always do.
Real Americans will win regardless - or die fighting for freedom.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Poker Sites and Shared Skins – II
Just for fun I decided to throw some of my research on the nearly 300 poker sites I have visited up on the blog. This information is as accurate as the casual researcher can make it – which makes it 20 times more accurate than the stuff you see on MSNBC or CNN.
A shared poker skin is an internet poker site, with the same software and player pool, but under various marketing names and management. Some of the promotions will be different, the play and the tournaments offered will be the same.
PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, and Bodog Poker are all stand alone poker rooms. That is why they will always be on my list of sites I visit.
Closely behind is the Cereus Poker Network, which supports only two skins of some fame (and infamy): Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet.
Now for the also-rans. True Poker, which also can be found as Third Bullet Poker.
Ok, here we go with the rest of them in order of me playing on them or not, and then in alphabetical order:
Cake Poker, aka, Doyle’s Room, Card Spike Poker, Gutshot Poker, Unibomber Poker, Victory Poker,
Poker4Ever, (Everleaf Inc.), aka Land Shark Poker, Luvin Poker, Swank Poker,Vulcan Poker
Sportsbook Poker, (Merge Poker Network) aka Aced Poker, Carbon Poker, Iron Duke Poker, Lock Poker, Players Only Poker, Poker Nordica, Poker Pros, Reefer Poker, RPM Poker,
World Poker Exchange, aka Achaubet Poker, Bet Pop Poker, First Fidelity Poker, Legendz Poker, Pig Poker, You Wager Poker,
Now where I can’t or won’t play:
888 Poker, Lucky Ace Poker, City Lights Poker, Pacific Poker, WSOP,
Betfair Poker (On Game Network), Bwin, Euro Poker, Hollywood Poker, Red Kings Poker
Everest Poker, aka Empire Poker (moved from True Poker), Party Poker, WPT,
William Hill Poker (IPoker network), CD Poker, Chili Poker, Fair Poker, Titan Poker, Winner Poker,
A shared poker skin is an internet poker site, with the same software and player pool, but under various marketing names and management. Some of the promotions will be different, the play and the tournaments offered will be the same.
PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, and Bodog Poker are all stand alone poker rooms. That is why they will always be on my list of sites I visit.
Closely behind is the Cereus Poker Network, which supports only two skins of some fame (and infamy): Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet.
Now for the also-rans. True Poker, which also can be found as Third Bullet Poker.
Ok, here we go with the rest of them in order of me playing on them or not, and then in alphabetical order:
Cake Poker, aka, Doyle’s Room, Card Spike Poker, Gutshot Poker, Unibomber Poker, Victory Poker,
Poker4Ever, (Everleaf Inc.), aka Land Shark Poker, Luvin Poker, Swank Poker,Vulcan Poker
Sportsbook Poker, (Merge Poker Network) aka Aced Poker, Carbon Poker, Iron Duke Poker, Lock Poker, Players Only Poker, Poker Nordica, Poker Pros, Reefer Poker, RPM Poker,
World Poker Exchange, aka Achaubet Poker, Bet Pop Poker, First Fidelity Poker, Legendz Poker, Pig Poker, You Wager Poker,
Now where I can’t or won’t play:
888 Poker, Lucky Ace Poker, City Lights Poker, Pacific Poker, WSOP,
Betfair Poker (On Game Network), Bwin, Euro Poker, Hollywood Poker, Red Kings Poker
Everest Poker, aka Empire Poker (moved from True Poker), Party Poker, WPT,
William Hill Poker (IPoker network), CD Poker, Chili Poker, Fair Poker, Titan Poker, Winner Poker,
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
T3chlady Wins Her 1st NPP Event! – xxxKdogxxx Takes 3rd Qtr Seat
What an exciting night of firsts! After a lot of close encounters – of the poker type – T3chlady finally broke thru and won our weekly tourney. She has been cursed with some of the worst bad beats seen in our league – this side of Faldo. But unlike your host, she handled them all with class and dignity.
T3chlady is also the 7th woman to win an NPP tilt.
To my knowledge, she never had to retrieve her laptop from the toilet bowl or from the lawn of the hotel where it flew out the window. Her steady resolve and steady poker talent were rewarded tonight.
In the league standings for the 3rd quarter seat, ThePunk75’s early exit opened the door for xxxKdogxxx. He needed to finish at least 4th and managed a 3rd! Your host, Mikeniks-Faldo did finish 4th and secured 1st place over-all in Quarter 3. But I am a wildcard, so 2nd place also gets a seat in the finals. Congratulations to xxxKdogxxx.
One Quarter left and 3 seats are still available! The winner of Quarter 4, anybody tied, and the one or two Overall point leader(s) that did not win a seat. We will add three more to the NPP Final table. Good luck everyone!
On to the action:
4 min: Tomservo2 hits the flop hard with his top two pair, but T3chlady starts her run to the title by hitting trips on the same flop!
5 min: A double-kill as K9isadog (AA) takes out Wingfancurt (Kc Tc) (19th) and ThePunk75 (Ah Kh) (18th), who has to go with a flop of [6h Th Jc], but American Airlines holds up.
15 min: A short-stacked (SS) Tomservo2 (17th) has to go with his (KQ) and runs into Derf-63’s (AA).
30 min: A SS LittleRedElf (16th) has to go with (KT) but cannot run down Tigercub8189’s (44).
34 min: Douge2 (15th) with (QQ), who had an outside shot at a 3rd quarter seat, gets double-teamed by girl-on-girl action. Suetman1 (TT) and Yecats423 (JJ) call him down. Yecats hits the [J] on the flop.
36 min: A SS Theedouble*d (14th) has to try with (6s 5s) but cannot catch Meatsword’s (99).
46 min: A SS Pre01 (13th) goes with (9h 8h) but can’t catch Mistermusic5’s (A8).
50 min: A SS Absea98 (12th) is double-teamed by K9isadog and T3chlady, and K9’s pair of nines takes it down.
Then the exits come faster than I can record them! Can you say “Breakmonster”?
57 min: A SS Derf-63 (11th) goes with (KT) and cannot catch K9isadog’s (33).
58 min: A SS Mistermusic5 (10th) calls all-in with (AJ) and gets double-teamed by Meatsword (AQ) and a SS Mikeniks-Faldo with (88). The pocket pair hold up.
59 min: Meatsword (9th) goes out and I missed it, recording the other hands and trying to make a final table myself.
1st break:
T3chlady 8720
K9isadog 4817
xxxKdogxxx 4410
Mikeniks-Faldo 2750
Yecats423 2445
Tigercub8189 1970
Funtoon 1815
Suetman1 1576
70 min: Tigercub8189 (8th) goes with (AT) and cannot catch K9isadog’s (AJ).
75 min: Suetman1 (7th) loses a coin flip with (TT) to K9isadog’s (AK) with a [K] on the flop.
77 min: A SS Funtoon (6th) moves with (Kd Jd) and runs into Yecats423’s (AK).
86 min: A SS Yecats423 (5th) goes with (A9), but K9isadog has (AA).
100 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (4th) has to try with (22) but K9isadog has (88).
101 min: A SS xxxKdogxxx (3rd) loses to T3chlady’s pair of tens.
Heads up: K9isadog 15500 - 13000 T3chlady
105 min: K9isadog 15500 - 13000 T3chlady
106 min: T3chlady took a slight lead and took it down with trip kings!
1st – T3chlady – 24 points
2nd – K9isadog – 19 points
3rd – xxxKdogxxx – 15 pts
4th – Mikeniks-Faldo – 12 pts
5th – Yecats423 – 9 pts
6th – Funtoon – 7 pts
7th – Suetman1 – 5 pts
8th – Tigercub8189 – 4 pts
9th – Meatsword – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings are on the right side of the blog. The 4th quarter starts next week!
T3chlady is also the 7th woman to win an NPP tilt.
To my knowledge, she never had to retrieve her laptop from the toilet bowl or from the lawn of the hotel where it flew out the window. Her steady resolve and steady poker talent were rewarded tonight.
In the league standings for the 3rd quarter seat, ThePunk75’s early exit opened the door for xxxKdogxxx. He needed to finish at least 4th and managed a 3rd! Your host, Mikeniks-Faldo did finish 4th and secured 1st place over-all in Quarter 3. But I am a wildcard, so 2nd place also gets a seat in the finals. Congratulations to xxxKdogxxx.
One Quarter left and 3 seats are still available! The winner of Quarter 4, anybody tied, and the one or two Overall point leader(s) that did not win a seat. We will add three more to the NPP Final table. Good luck everyone!
On to the action:
4 min: Tomservo2 hits the flop hard with his top two pair, but T3chlady starts her run to the title by hitting trips on the same flop!
5 min: A double-kill as K9isadog (AA) takes out Wingfancurt (Kc Tc) (19th) and ThePunk75 (Ah Kh) (18th), who has to go with a flop of [6h Th Jc], but American Airlines holds up.
15 min: A short-stacked (SS) Tomservo2 (17th) has to go with his (KQ) and runs into Derf-63’s (AA).
30 min: A SS LittleRedElf (16th) has to go with (KT) but cannot run down Tigercub8189’s (44).
34 min: Douge2 (15th) with (QQ), who had an outside shot at a 3rd quarter seat, gets double-teamed by girl-on-girl action. Suetman1 (TT) and Yecats423 (JJ) call him down. Yecats hits the [J] on the flop.
36 min: A SS Theedouble*d (14th) has to try with (6s 5s) but cannot catch Meatsword’s (99).
46 min: A SS Pre01 (13th) goes with (9h 8h) but can’t catch Mistermusic5’s (A8).
50 min: A SS Absea98 (12th) is double-teamed by K9isadog and T3chlady, and K9’s pair of nines takes it down.
Then the exits come faster than I can record them! Can you say “Breakmonster”?
57 min: A SS Derf-63 (11th) goes with (KT) and cannot catch K9isadog’s (33).
58 min: A SS Mistermusic5 (10th) calls all-in with (AJ) and gets double-teamed by Meatsword (AQ) and a SS Mikeniks-Faldo with (88). The pocket pair hold up.
59 min: Meatsword (9th) goes out and I missed it, recording the other hands and trying to make a final table myself.
1st break:
T3chlady 8720
K9isadog 4817
xxxKdogxxx 4410
Mikeniks-Faldo 2750
Yecats423 2445
Tigercub8189 1970
Funtoon 1815
Suetman1 1576
70 min: Tigercub8189 (8th) goes with (AT) and cannot catch K9isadog’s (AJ).
75 min: Suetman1 (7th) loses a coin flip with (TT) to K9isadog’s (AK) with a [K] on the flop.
77 min: A SS Funtoon (6th) moves with (Kd Jd) and runs into Yecats423’s (AK).
86 min: A SS Yecats423 (5th) goes with (A9), but K9isadog has (AA).
100 min: A SS Mikeniks-Faldo (4th) has to try with (22) but K9isadog has (88).
101 min: A SS xxxKdogxxx (3rd) loses to T3chlady’s pair of tens.
Heads up: K9isadog 15500 - 13000 T3chlady
105 min: K9isadog 15500 - 13000 T3chlady
106 min: T3chlady took a slight lead and took it down with trip kings!
1st – T3chlady – 24 points
2nd – K9isadog – 19 points
3rd – xxxKdogxxx – 15 pts
4th – Mikeniks-Faldo – 12 pts
5th – Yecats423 – 9 pts
6th – Funtoon – 7 pts
7th – Suetman1 – 5 pts
8th – Tigercub8189 – 4 pts
9th – Meatsword – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings are on the right side of the blog. The 4th quarter starts next week!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Premier Poker Lounge Re-opens on Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Premier Poker Lounge (PPL) WILL OPEN AT 7PM ON WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 15, 2010 -
FOR CASH GAMING ACTION!
BRING A FRIEND AND ENJOY SOME CHARITY GAMING.
THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT WITH OUR CLOSING THIS SUMMER.
CHECK OUR WEB SITE FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
www.premierpokerloung.com
CALL DAN FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION -
810-869-3692
FOR CASH GAMING ACTION!
BRING A FRIEND AND ENJOY SOME CHARITY GAMING.
THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT WITH OUR CLOSING THIS SUMMER.
CHECK OUR WEB SITE FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
www.premierpokerloung.com
CALL DAN FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION -
810-869-3692
Sunday, September 12, 2010
NFL = National Fixed League
They obviously make rules up as they go along. A comeback win by the Lions is not in the scheme or script for the NFL this year, obviously.
Let me be clear here. I did not have a bet on the Detroit Lions / Chicago Bears game. Even if I had bet the Lions, I would have won as they were getting 6 points in the spread.
I am a Lions fan by birth. But they have been losing for 55 years (my entire life span), so just another loss – even a heartbreaker – would have rolled off of my back.
But the travesty that unfolded Sunday and the last minute touchdown by the Lions that was taken away – was a pure criminal act. Its worse than Franco Harris and that fake "Immaculate Reception". Ever notice you never see the wide angle of that 'catch'? It's because it was not. The nose of the football was on the ground. The referee asked how many policemen were around to get him to the locker room, and he was told "one". He signaled, "Touchdown"!
Now they will dress it up, make excuses – and EXACTLY as they have done in the past – and claim on Monday that the call was correct. Then, eight to ten weeks later, or after the playoff teams scripted to make the post season are on their way, they will say that indeed the Lions were done wronged.
A runner falling forward with a ball coming loose as he “breaks the plane”, but before he is actually tackled is a touchdown? But a man who catches a ball with two hands, takes two steps, lands on his butt, then rolls over and places the ball in the end zone – is called a dropped pass????????
The calls being made in professional (and college, for that matter) sports today are nothing short of a complete joke. How fans put their hard earned money down to watch these obviously fixed sporting events eludes me. I don’t do it – and have not for over 20 years.
That call on Sunday is exactly why.
As a fan – and as an ex-jock and a competitor - the real issue I cannot tolerate is the complete acceptance of the rip-off by the players, coaches and as you will see – the management. It’s all about the money.
Why the receiver was not in the referee’s face is beyond me. Why the Lion’s coaches did not hold the defense off the field in protest for the final snap is beyond me.
Why the Lions coaching staff, to a man – did not hound the referees all the way to the locker room - proves it is all about the money. Their feeling is – “Well, shows over for this week. What five-star restaurant is our reservation at?”
I hate losing. But I despise being cheated by total incompetence – or worse as in this case – manipulation. The fact that the team I root for - rolls over and presents its sphincter like Obama on the world stage, disgusts me to an even greater degree.
If they won’t fight for themselves, why am I watching? If sports are going to be scripted like our evening news, why am I watching?
Well, I’m not anymore. I stopped buying. Now I stop watching. – Faldo
Let me be clear here. I did not have a bet on the Detroit Lions / Chicago Bears game. Even if I had bet the Lions, I would have won as they were getting 6 points in the spread.
I am a Lions fan by birth. But they have been losing for 55 years (my entire life span), so just another loss – even a heartbreaker – would have rolled off of my back.
But the travesty that unfolded Sunday and the last minute touchdown by the Lions that was taken away – was a pure criminal act. Its worse than Franco Harris and that fake "Immaculate Reception". Ever notice you never see the wide angle of that 'catch'? It's because it was not. The nose of the football was on the ground. The referee asked how many policemen were around to get him to the locker room, and he was told "one". He signaled, "Touchdown"!
Now they will dress it up, make excuses – and EXACTLY as they have done in the past – and claim on Monday that the call was correct. Then, eight to ten weeks later, or after the playoff teams scripted to make the post season are on their way, they will say that indeed the Lions were done wronged.
A runner falling forward with a ball coming loose as he “breaks the plane”, but before he is actually tackled is a touchdown? But a man who catches a ball with two hands, takes two steps, lands on his butt, then rolls over and places the ball in the end zone – is called a dropped pass????????
The calls being made in professional (and college, for that matter) sports today are nothing short of a complete joke. How fans put their hard earned money down to watch these obviously fixed sporting events eludes me. I don’t do it – and have not for over 20 years.
That call on Sunday is exactly why.
As a fan – and as an ex-jock and a competitor - the real issue I cannot tolerate is the complete acceptance of the rip-off by the players, coaches and as you will see – the management. It’s all about the money.
Why the receiver was not in the referee’s face is beyond me. Why the Lion’s coaches did not hold the defense off the field in protest for the final snap is beyond me.
Why the Lions coaching staff, to a man – did not hound the referees all the way to the locker room - proves it is all about the money. Their feeling is – “Well, shows over for this week. What five-star restaurant is our reservation at?”
I hate losing. But I despise being cheated by total incompetence – or worse as in this case – manipulation. The fact that the team I root for - rolls over and presents its sphincter like Obama on the world stage, disgusts me to an even greater degree.
If they won’t fight for themselves, why am I watching? If sports are going to be scripted like our evening news, why am I watching?
Well, I’m not anymore. I stopped buying. Now I stop watching. – Faldo
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The Community Card Review – IX
PS: For all of you in Ann Arbor: All those people you see in this picture - ARE DEAD - and died a horrible death. FYI.
How did this nation go from a steel resolve to destroy the people who killed over 3,000 Americans – where even the limp-wrist Democrats voted in favor of the invasion of Iraq – twice, to a nation that wants to build a mosque at the exact place where the massacre occurred? The answer is - liberals and Democrats.
My response to building the mosque at ground zero is this – go ahead and build it. There were two buildings there once before, and they got destroyed with alot of people in them. So, - go ahead. Build it, and fill it up! Please!!!!
The greatest crime perpetrated on our country was not the 9/11 attack – that even Osama Bin Laden said was thought up because of Democrat weakness.
The greatest crime on our country was not the union laws and tax laws written by Democrats that destroyed our economy.
The greatest crime committed on our country was not even the ignoring of our borders, Constitution and the push for “diversity” - instead of Americanism - that Democrats push relentlessly.
The greatest crime against our nation is not even the total socialist propaganda take over of our news and media outlets by Democrat operatives who broadcast and print thru a communist filter.
The greatest crime is the destruction of the education system of our children. Joe Stalin said, “Give me your children, and I will get your country.” The Communist – Democrats have done just that. Our children – from age 5 to 35 – are brainwashed with socialism, and have no concept of the sacrifices made for them by past generations, or what made their nation great.
How did this nation go from the most revered and feared nation in the world, to a European-like satellite socialist state, who can’t and won’t stick up for itself – or the weak countries getting picked on by dictators, bullies and fascists?
How did we go from uniting to fight for our country, our lives and our way of life, to electing an inexperienced muslim, leftist, narcissist, who hates this country and has a middle name of Hussein?
If any of you even think to reflect on this day – and what really happened and why (media outlets who show shootings every day, won’t show you the real videos of 9/11 because they don’t want you to be knowledgeable – and want to fight back) – be sure to acknowledge how the Democrats have left us in the same spot we were before that day. Talking and acting weak, retreating from the fight for our freedom and “hoping” the bully won’t bother us – and “change” his ways because we are bending over and grabbing our ankles.
But also reflect on how YOU – or your NEIGHBOR – voted for this destruction of our nation by voting Democrat.
As I already proved, it may not be your fault due to the brainwashing you received in our leftist education system. But from the election of Obama going forward, any Democrat voter is a traitor. Pure and simple.
The debate - and the talking - is over on this point.
If it sounds like I am still angry about 9/11 - that would be a huge understatement. And as far as vaquishing Democrats from our government - LET"S ROLL!!!– Nik Faldo
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Poker Sites and Shared Skins
The entire article is on the PokerNews dot com link on this site. But I thought I would make it front page.
“There are two ways to create a new poker website. First, a developer could create his own software and develop a customer base from scratch to form the player pool on his site.
But it's difficult to get players to sign up and play without an already established group of opponents for them to play against. So the question is how to create something from nothing.
There is a second option. Instead of building his own system from the ground up, a developer could create a "skin," a poker room that uses preexisting software that belongs to an already established network.
The skin has its own brand and user interface but shares the player pool of all of the skins on its network. Although each site may have unique promotions and games, most of the time they share cash games, tournaments, advertising, security, and other features with their sister sites. That means the benefits of the home network should be a major factor in choosing which sites are right for you.
PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker each have unique software and networks that they don't share with any other brand names. They are the two biggest by far.
Bodog Poker: The Bodog network includes only one poker room (Bodog) but also has sports betting and casino sites. Executives are currently investing megabucks in increasing the Bodog brand overseas, especially in relation to sports betting. More name recognition can only help the games on the company's poker site.
CEREUS Poker: This network was born when UltimateBet and AbsolutePoker merged. It's not many people's favorite poker client, and the CEREUS name change didn't do much to help players forget the cheating scandals associated with either site's original title. Despite the grumbling, CEREUS still has one of the largest player pools on the market, and it accepts U.S. players. CEREUS network was recently bought by Bianca Gaming.
Cake Poker: This is the network all the cool kids want to sit with at lunch. Victory Poker moved to Cake on September 1. Doyle's Room moved here in 2009. LockPoker, Gutshot Poker, Unibomber Poker, and a variety of other skins also share the Cake Network. Because U.S. players are allowed, and several new skins are working hard to rep the network, Cake's player base is growing rapidly. Victory Poker moves to Cake network.
Everleaf Gaming: Everleaf, home to LuvinPoker and LandShark Poker among others, is one of the few networks still open to U.S. players, yet it lacks the player base big enough to attract more than 1,000 players at any time. It does, however, boast one of the industry's most secure shuffling systems.
Merge Network: Although some of its skins of jumped ship recently, the Merge Network still hosts Carbon Poker, Players Only Poker, Reefer Poker, RPMPoker, and a score of other poker sites. Its software has a few entertaining features, including the ability to muck only one card and rabbit hunt. It's in need of increased traffic, however, before it will be able to support higher stakes.”
“There are two ways to create a new poker website. First, a developer could create his own software and develop a customer base from scratch to form the player pool on his site.
But it's difficult to get players to sign up and play without an already established group of opponents for them to play against. So the question is how to create something from nothing.
There is a second option. Instead of building his own system from the ground up, a developer could create a "skin," a poker room that uses preexisting software that belongs to an already established network.
The skin has its own brand and user interface but shares the player pool of all of the skins on its network. Although each site may have unique promotions and games, most of the time they share cash games, tournaments, advertising, security, and other features with their sister sites. That means the benefits of the home network should be a major factor in choosing which sites are right for you.
PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker each have unique software and networks that they don't share with any other brand names. They are the two biggest by far.
Bodog Poker: The Bodog network includes only one poker room (Bodog) but also has sports betting and casino sites. Executives are currently investing megabucks in increasing the Bodog brand overseas, especially in relation to sports betting. More name recognition can only help the games on the company's poker site.
CEREUS Poker: This network was born when UltimateBet and AbsolutePoker merged. It's not many people's favorite poker client, and the CEREUS name change didn't do much to help players forget the cheating scandals associated with either site's original title. Despite the grumbling, CEREUS still has one of the largest player pools on the market, and it accepts U.S. players. CEREUS network was recently bought by Bianca Gaming.
Cake Poker: This is the network all the cool kids want to sit with at lunch. Victory Poker moved to Cake on September 1. Doyle's Room moved here in 2009. LockPoker, Gutshot Poker, Unibomber Poker, and a variety of other skins also share the Cake Network. Because U.S. players are allowed, and several new skins are working hard to rep the network, Cake's player base is growing rapidly. Victory Poker moves to Cake network.
Everleaf Gaming: Everleaf, home to LuvinPoker and LandShark Poker among others, is one of the few networks still open to U.S. players, yet it lacks the player base big enough to attract more than 1,000 players at any time. It does, however, boast one of the industry's most secure shuffling systems.
Merge Network: Although some of its skins of jumped ship recently, the Merge Network still hosts Carbon Poker, Players Only Poker, Reefer Poker, RPMPoker, and a score of other poker sites. Its software has a few entertaining features, including the ability to muck only one card and rabbit hunt. It's in need of increased traffic, however, before it will be able to support higher stakes.”
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Douge2's Humor Corner - XXXXVII
Golfing Hit Man
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them.
“Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.”
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
“I'm a hit man,” was the reply.
“You're joking!” was the response.
“No, I'm not,” he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. “Here are my tools.”
“That's a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the other friend, “Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.” So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
“Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom.
Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......He's naked, too!!!” He turned to the hit man, “How much do you charge for a hit?”
“I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.”
“Can you do two for me now?”
“Sure, what do you want?”
“First, shoot my wife. She's always been bitchy and loud, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he was a friend of mine, so shoot his member off to teach him a lesson he won't forget.”
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
“Are you going to do it or not?” said the friend impatiently.
“Just be patient,” said the hit man calmly, “I think I can save you a grand here.”
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them.
“Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.”
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
“I'm a hit man,” was the reply.
“You're joking!” was the response.
“No, I'm not,” he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. “Here are my tools.”
“That's a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the other friend, “Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.” So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
“Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom.
Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......He's naked, too!!!” He turned to the hit man, “How much do you charge for a hit?”
“I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.”
“Can you do two for me now?”
“Sure, what do you want?”
“First, shoot my wife. She's always been bitchy and loud, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he was a friend of mine, so shoot his member off to teach him a lesson he won't forget.”
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
“Are you going to do it or not?” said the friend impatiently.
“Just be patient,” said the hit man calmly, “I think I can save you a grand here.”
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
K9isadog Makes a Run in a PokerStars Mega-Tournament!
Here is his story:
"LOL.....bobbed and weave for five and half hours with blinds 30000/15000 and ante 3000.
In the Small Blind, a I (K8) called a short stack all-in from button his (AK) stood up.
With 158k i had (KJ) UTG (under the gun) and limped for 30000 and folded to raise of 90k and an all-in from the button. I would have lost the hand if I called.
Then in the BB with (T4), I had to fold to a raise. I never was at average in chips for last 2hours. I never got the run I needed.
I had fun because I qualified with Frequent Player Points (FPP). I made $151 with the eye on First Place money...sooner or later. But I bested 29000 others, finishing 127th!"
Nice job K9! That is a heck of a run! - Faldo
"LOL.....bobbed and weave for five and half hours with blinds 30000/15000 and ante 3000.
In the Small Blind, a I (K8) called a short stack all-in from button his (AK) stood up.
With 158k i had (KJ) UTG (under the gun) and limped for 30000 and folded to raise of 90k and an all-in from the button. I would have lost the hand if I called.
Then in the BB with (T4), I had to fold to a raise. I never was at average in chips for last 2hours. I never got the run I needed.
I had fun because I qualified with Frequent Player Points (FPP). I made $151 with the eye on First Place money...sooner or later. But I bested 29000 others, finishing 127th!"
Nice job K9! That is a heck of a run! - Faldo
Sunday, September 05, 2010
He is the Real "Most Interesting Man in the World!"
Faldo made an album of one of his hands clapping, and it went Platinum in four days.
Strippers pay Faldo in order to give him a lap dance.
Faldo’s athleticism is that of legend. Faldo once caught his own home run ball.
When hunting, Faldo’s quarry simply surrenders to him – be it game – or women.
Faldo obeys gravity, but Faldo doesn’t have to.
Faldo did not play in the NFL because of the two – minute warning. Faldo heeds no warnings.
The sun cannot burn Faldo…even if it wanted to.
When Faldo touches 14k gold…and it turns into 24k gold.
Faldo has never needed an eraser, White-out or the back-space on his computer.
Faldo pulls cops over – just because Faldo can.
Trains stop at road crossings … just in case Faldo is coming.
Any city Faldo enters…Faldo already has the key.
Faldo never needs a credit card. His word is good enough.
His brain is registered as a lethal weapon.
The resale value on Faldo’s used car is higher than the price of any new car.
Faldo always has his cake and eats it too.
Faldo increases property values by 50% simply by visiting.
Faldo gave a word of poker advice to a young man once…and Phil Ivey never looked back.
In a college football game, Faldo caught his own touchdown pass.
Faldo can stand in a rainstorm and decide not to get wet.
Faldo can lead horses to water…and make them drink.
Faldo is banned from the Guinness Book of World Records to give other people a chance.
Faldo was the motivation for the James Bond 007 series.
There are three things in life that are certain; death, taxes…and Faldo.
Faldo says, “I rarely lose at poker. But when I do....it is always a bad beat. Stay tilt-free my friends.”
Strippers pay Faldo in order to give him a lap dance.
Faldo’s athleticism is that of legend. Faldo once caught his own home run ball.
When hunting, Faldo’s quarry simply surrenders to him – be it game – or women.
Faldo obeys gravity, but Faldo doesn’t have to.
Faldo did not play in the NFL because of the two – minute warning. Faldo heeds no warnings.
The sun cannot burn Faldo…even if it wanted to.
When Faldo touches 14k gold…and it turns into 24k gold.
Faldo has never needed an eraser, White-out or the back-space on his computer.
Faldo pulls cops over – just because Faldo can.
Trains stop at road crossings … just in case Faldo is coming.
Any city Faldo enters…Faldo already has the key.
Faldo never needs a credit card. His word is good enough.
His brain is registered as a lethal weapon.
The resale value on Faldo’s used car is higher than the price of any new car.
Faldo always has his cake and eats it too.
Faldo increases property values by 50% simply by visiting.
Faldo gave a word of poker advice to a young man once…and Phil Ivey never looked back.
In a college football game, Faldo caught his own touchdown pass.
Faldo can stand in a rainstorm and decide not to get wet.
Faldo can lead horses to water…and make them drink.
Faldo is banned from the Guinness Book of World Records to give other people a chance.
Faldo was the motivation for the James Bond 007 series.
There are three things in life that are certain; death, taxes…and Faldo.
Faldo says, “I rarely lose at poker. But when I do....it is always a bad beat. Stay tilt-free my friends.”
Saturday, September 04, 2010
UB Challenge Update
PS: Remember, no NPP tourney this Tuesday - Labor Day Break!
I know you all have been dutifully scrolling down the site – just below Faldo’s profile - to closely monitor the Faldo – UB challenge. Heck, I am sure you have all hired people at big bucks just to check the site for you and let you know when there is an update.
In the interest of lowering the workload of the unwashed working class, let me post it right in front. This will enable the main-stream news outlets to get scoops for those news items they scroll across the bottom of the screen.
But then again, when is what Faldo does….not news???
The challenge is to see how much Faldo can build $9 up to in a year on Ultimate Bet – betting at least a full $9 every month. Starting on July 1, 2010, the pot has grown to $17.83 at the end of August.
Here are the September results so far after $3 bet:
Five SNG’s played.
9th - Middle set runs into top set
2nd - Misplayed it heads up.
6th – Quad sixes loses to a straight flush on the river
8th - Pocket tens runs into pocket kings
1st – and P-R-O-F-I-T !!!!!
New total $18.43, surpassing the double up total at least.
Now to keep it going!
I know you all have been dutifully scrolling down the site – just below Faldo’s profile - to closely monitor the Faldo – UB challenge. Heck, I am sure you have all hired people at big bucks just to check the site for you and let you know when there is an update.
In the interest of lowering the workload of the unwashed working class, let me post it right in front. This will enable the main-stream news outlets to get scoops for those news items they scroll across the bottom of the screen.
But then again, when is what Faldo does….not news???
The challenge is to see how much Faldo can build $9 up to in a year on Ultimate Bet – betting at least a full $9 every month. Starting on July 1, 2010, the pot has grown to $17.83 at the end of August.
Here are the September results so far after $3 bet:
Five SNG’s played.
9th - Middle set runs into top set
2nd - Misplayed it heads up.
6th – Quad sixes loses to a straight flush on the river
8th - Pocket tens runs into pocket kings
1st – and P-R-O-F-I-T !!!!!
New total $18.43, surpassing the double up total at least.
Now to keep it going!
Friday, September 03, 2010
Douge2’s Humor Corner - XXXXVI
The Bagpiper
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. I finally arrived an hour late.... and saw the funeral guy was evidently gone, and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left.... and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down. The vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace', the workers began to weep. They wept; I wept; we all wept together.
When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothin' like that before....and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
From the Mouths of Babes
Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
”Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,” she asks, “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?”
Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: “No, I don't think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?”
“Osama Bin Laden,” she says.
“Why Osama Bin Laden?” her father asks in shock.
”Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore.”
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. “Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I have ever heard.”
”I know,” Melissa says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker.”
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. I finally arrived an hour late.... and saw the funeral guy was evidently gone, and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left.... and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down. The vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace', the workers began to weep. They wept; I wept; we all wept together.
When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothin' like that before....and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
From the Mouths of Babes
Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
”Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,” she asks, “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?”
Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: “No, I don't think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?”
“Osama Bin Laden,” she says.
“Why Osama Bin Laden?” her father asks in shock.
”Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore.”
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. “Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I have ever heard.”
”I know,” Melissa says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker.”
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
And You Complain About Poker Rakes?
Tax his land. Tax his bed,
Tax the table at which he's fed.
Tax his tractor. Tax his mule.
Teach him taxes are the rule.
Tax his cow. Tax his goat.
Tax his pants. Tax his coat.
Tax his ties. Tax his shirt.
Tax his work. Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco. Tax his drink.
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars. Tax his beers.
If he cries, then tax his tears.
Tax his car. Tax his gas.
Find other ways to tax his ass.
Tax all he has then let him know,
That you won't be done till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers, then tax him some more,
Tax him til he's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin. Tax his grave.
Tax the sod in which he's laid.
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom."
When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply the Inheritance Tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
CCW License Tax
Cigarette Tax
City Taxes
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax,
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Marriage Penalty Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Taxes
Real Estate Tax
Sales Taxes
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
For your information, The State of Illinois has over 7,000 taxing authorities – and they are not even the most heavily taxed state in the Union.
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?
Democrats, Liberalism, Socialism, Communism happened – right here in the United States.
And I still have to "press 1" for English.
Tax the table at which he's fed.
Tax his tractor. Tax his mule.
Teach him taxes are the rule.
Tax his cow. Tax his goat.
Tax his pants. Tax his coat.
Tax his ties. Tax his shirt.
Tax his work. Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco. Tax his drink.
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars. Tax his beers.
If he cries, then tax his tears.
Tax his car. Tax his gas.
Find other ways to tax his ass.
Tax all he has then let him know,
That you won't be done till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers, then tax him some more,
Tax him til he's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin. Tax his grave.
Tax the sod in which he's laid.
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom."
When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply the Inheritance Tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
CCW License Tax
Cigarette Tax
City Taxes
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax,
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Marriage Penalty Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Taxes
Real Estate Tax
Sales Taxes
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
For your information, The State of Illinois has over 7,000 taxing authorities – and they are not even the most heavily taxed state in the Union.
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?
Democrats, Liberalism, Socialism, Communism happened – right here in the United States.
And I still have to "press 1" for English.
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