Douge2’s Humor Corner V

The Golf Wager

Beerhog had a week off and decided to play golf every day. Monday morning, he found himself paired with an attractive woman, Pat, who turned out to be a very good golfer.

They started with a few casual bets, but by the back nine it was a full-blown competition. On the 18th green, Pat sank her long birdie putt for the win. Beerhog congratulated her and paid off his losses.

Pat asked for a ride home and, on the way, told him,“You know, Beerhog, I haven't enjoyed myself so much on the golf course in a long time. In fact, pull over so I can express my appreciation.” He did, they kissed, and one thing led to another and soon she gave him the best oral sex he'd ever had.

The next morning, they met again on the first tee and played together again. They had another magnificent day, enjoying each other's company and playing tight, competitive golf. Again Pat beat him, but she also showed her appreciation on the drive home. This went on all week, with Beerhog narrowly losing every day, his male ego bruised, but not unhappy.

On Friday's drive home, Beerhog said, “Pat, you've been great to be with all this week and tonight I'd like to return the favor. I made reservations at the best restaurant in town for us and reserved the penthouse suite at the best hotel. What do you say?”

Pat burst into tears. “I can't!”

“What? Why not?” asked Beerhog.

“Because,” she sobbed, “I'm in the middle of a sex change and the doctor hasn't completed that part of me yet!”

“What?!” Aghast, Beerhog swerved off the road, screeched to a stop and cursed madly, overcome with emotion.

“I'm so sorry,” says Pat. “You have a right to be angry with me.”

“You son of a bitch!” Beerhog screamed, his face bright red. “You cheating bastard! All week long you've been playing off the women's tees!”


Female Math

The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."