Douge2's Humor Corner IV

A Summer Skirt Situation...

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, a lovely looking woman
became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to
the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would
give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only
to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the
step

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a
little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How
dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with
you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was
friends."


Rules of Golf for Dave the Dog (4Putt)

Rule 1.a.5
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. 4Putt should not be penalized for tall grass which groundskeepers failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6 (b)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. 4Putt can estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.

Rule 3.b.3 (g)
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball; the missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. 4Putt will not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.

Rule 4.c.7 (h)
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.

Rule 5.q.3(m)
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in (twss). This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game. Especially 4Putt.

Rule 6.a.9 (k)
There is no penalty for so-called 'out of bounds.' If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. 4Putt deserves an apology, not a penalty – even if he only plays one or two rounds a year..

Rule 7.g.15 (z)
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. 4Putt should not be penalized for manufacturers' shortcomings.
How does he still manage to shoot 112?