Douge2's Humor Corner

LITTLE FALDO ON LIFE:

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence, and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Little Faldo. He replies, "None They will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."

Then, Little Faldo says, "I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little Faldo replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

TEXAS LOGIC:
The old cowboy Tigercub8189 sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a city-slicker office woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat ... or drink coffee,” she giggled. “It seems that everything makes me think of women!"

The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young college man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

Tigercub8189 replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."