LittleRedElf Wins for the 4th Time in 2018

Four cheers for LittleRedElf!

LittleRedElf took care of a small summer field of 8 players as he continues to march to a seat in the NPP final. It ain't over - but the Elf is on a tear and on fire after his numerous bad beats at the World Series of Poker.

2nd - GMOGolf
Bubble - T3chlady

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 44th NPP victory.

And now some more different perspectives:

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.

The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne."

"What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, It is a special day for me. I am celebrating"

"It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" said the woman.

"What a coincidence." said the farmer.

While they toasted, the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that
I was pregnant."

"What a coincidence," said the man. "I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were
infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs."

"This is awesome," said the woman. "What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?"

"I used a different rooster," he said.

The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

And this:

The owner of a golf course in  Tennessee  was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.  

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee  and I need some help.  If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."

LittleRedElf Wins for the 3rd Time in 2018 - and Back From the WSOP

LittleRedElf lets the NPP field feel the pain every week!

LittleRedElf graced the NPP felt this week after playing in a few World Series of Poker events. He showed he was still in WSOP form by wiping out the NPP field of 10.

NPP alum Lump2 was also there in Las Vegas. More on that in a minute, but first the results of a more important event - this week's NPP tournament:

2nd - Derf-63
3rd - Tomservo2
Bubble - GMOgolf

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 43rd NPP victory!

Now some results sent to Faldo by the Elf after some of the action in the WSOP:

"After 1st break in the Seniors Tourney, have 4600 after starting with 5000."
"2nd break - 6400 chips"
"2002 Main Event winner Robert Varkony was knocked of this event."
"Phil Helmuth just made a late entry into this event."
"Just took a big hit. My AK lost to J4 - who went all in preflop."
"Out of tourney as my QQ lost to AJ"

"In the Big Daily Deep Stack Tourney and have 53000 chips. Started with 20000."
"3rd break - only have 37000. Only took two pots in the last 2 hours."
"Busted. Had AT suited and flopped the flush with a board of QJ4. Got called with QJ and a J came on the river."

"In a Seniors Tourney today. Had 8500 at first break. Started with 5000."
"2nd break - have 5475."
"Lump2 has 9100!"
 "What is the difference between a poker dealer and a toilet bowl? A toilet bowl only has to look at one asshole at a time."
"Busted after 3 horrific bad beats! Lump2 has 11500!"
"Lump2 is out with no cash."

Hopefully The Elf and Lump2 will send me more detailed info. Great job guys!

Faldo Wins on a Rush - But the Race is Still Wide Open

If Faldo is winning, someone is missing the easy ones.

Faldo won with a late run of cards after a very slow start.

Keep in mind - Faldo is a wild card, so even if he holds on to the lead, the 2nd place finisher also wins a seat. So everyone is still in this quarter!

2nd - Absea98
3rd - LittleRedElf
Bubble - Sljbigbaby

Be sure to be here on Tuesday night for the best poker league on the planet!

Now. two looks from different perspectives: 

A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.

'What's up?' she asks.

'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says , "Mommy Mommy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on".

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband.

Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

'You rotten Bitch', she screams.

'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!

Now another perspective:

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Derf-63 Wins for the 4th Time in 2018 - and Democrat are Traitors

Another Derf-63 groupie waiting in Derf's NPP suite.

Faldo missed the tournament due to a family obligation that took much longer than Faldo was told it would last. [PS - please refer to the The Man Song on You Tube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj4vLZJhNEk to understand why Faldo still missed the tournament].

Derf-63 gets into the mix for the 3rd seat in the NPP Final. Not an unexpected development.
2nd - -Tomservo2
3rd - Sljbigbaby
Bubble - Douge2

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 40th NPP victory!

Now something in a Jeff Foxworthy-type presentation - although it is not Jeff speaking:\

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license on your own property, but not for being in the country illegally ...you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If the only school curriculum allowed to explain how we got here is evolution, but the government stops a $15 million construction project to keep a rare spider from evolving to extinction ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

 If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor or check out a library book, but not to vote who runs the government ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but wants to give citizen rights to illegal immigrant gang member criminals ... you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If, in the largest city in the USA, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If an 80-year-old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher’s "cute," but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing and free cell phones ...you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If the government's plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.

If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more "safe" according to the government ... you live in a country founded by geniuses but wanting to be ruled by Democrats.