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| A Derf groupie checking out his Hummer. |
2nd - LittleRedElf
3rd - Absea98
4th - GMOgolf
5th - Jb1974x
Bubble - T3chlady
Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 38th NPP victory!
Beerhog was in
front of a judge.
The judge says,
"You've been brought here for drinking."
Beerhog says "Okay, let's get started."
Now it's all about the institution of marriage:
Why do divorces
cost men so much?
They're worth it.
They're worth it.
NEVER get married. Simply find a woman that
you hate and give her your house. A much less painful process.
At dawn the
telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your
country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your show dog, he is dead.
"My prized beagle? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that dog. What did he die from?
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead too?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief,
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your show dog, he is dead.
"My prized beagle? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that dog. What did he die from?
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead too?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief,
so I shot her
with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special
with the
custom-made Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock. "
SILENCE...........
LONG SILENCE.........
VERY LONG SILENCE..............
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."
SILENCE...........
LONG SILENCE.........
VERY LONG SILENCE..............
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."
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