Nik Faldo Gets Letters – Today: “She’s all Wet!”

Marissa Miller waits for Faldo's orders.

I am getting so many of these letters I need to make answering them a weekly installment. Helping my public manage their relationships is the least I can do.

Dear Mr. Faldo,

My wife does not like it when I smoke a cigar outside while watering the flowers. Do you have any advice for me?

Signed,

Getting Hassled

Dear Hassled,

I have to tell you something. It is a little rude of you to smoke a cigar so close to where your wife is doing her chores, like watering the flowers. But I know watching women do their chores is very relaxing. I am a fan of it myself.

But if you want to spoil her, you should have had her set you up a comfortable chair for the front porch, and a hammock or padded recliner for the back yard. That way you can smoke your cigar on the side of the house she is not watering.

Yes, it is true that letting her decide where you get to smoke your cigar on certain days may get some getting used to. But sometimes it is good to let wives make a few harmless decisions once in a while. Not that it is important, but it does seem to make them happier.

If this kind treatment of your wife backfires, as it sometimes does - and your wife starts to think her opinion matters - simply withhold sex until she starts behaving herself again.

Faldo