Tom, a 70-year old, extremely wealthy widower shows up at
the country club with an absolutely gorgeous and extremely sexy 25 year old
brunette.
She hangs on to his arm and is enthralled with every word he
says.
His regular playing partners and the rest of the fellow
members are shocked.
At first chance, his foursome corners him and ask him how he
managed to bag that amazing girlfriend?
Tom says, “That’s not my girlfriend. Hell, that’s my wife.”
In disbelief they ask him, “How did you persuade her to
marry you?”
Tom said, “I lied about my age.”
His best friend says, “Ahhh, you told her you were only 50.”
Tom says, “Of course not. I told her I was 90.”
An Engineer in Hell
An Engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter
checks his list and says, “Sorry, but you are in the wrong place.” So the
Engineer is sent to Hell.
The Engineer, unhappy with the status of life in Hell,
starts designing improvements in the buildings and the plumbing. He installs
air conditioning, escalators and ice machines.
One day God calls Satan and says with a sneer, “So, how is
it down there?”
Satan brags about all the improvements that have been made
and says, “And there is no telling what else that Engineer might come up with.”
God replies, “What? You got an Engineer down there? That was
a mistake and you know it. Send him back or I will sue you!”
Satan laughs hysterically and answers, “Yeah, right. And
just where are you going to get a lawyer?”
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