On the Road Again….Final Installment

The cards finally started to turn for Faldo. First off, as I am standing in the isle to de-plane in Indianapolis, I am able to look out the window and see my bag being thrown into the luggage cart. I have clean underwear for tomorrow!!!

Second, my rental car is a free forced upgrade because the compact GM booked for me are all gone.

Third, there was no traffic jam to my business meeting. It seems there was a “no-injury” accident up the road from where I was, and it stopped most of the traffic between the airport and my business destination. We were able to get some much needed things done before the Mexican contingent arrives.

The GM Mexicans got out of there in record time and I headed to the hotel for a nap. A two hour nap – and this time I got my wake-up call.

That evening, I ate at a quiet neighborhood pizzeria and all was well intestinally. I retired to the room where my poker action gave me a 1st and a 3rd in three SNG’s. And the get-away meeting back at the plant did not start until 9 am the next morning. I used every hour of the extra time for sleep and missed our standard office 7am call-in meeting. That’s a shame.

The meeting went well and I was off to the airport in good shape. Not great shape – but ok. I was moving along at about 75 to 80 mph with everyone else – when all of a sudden everyone was slowing down but me. I had no idea why, but traffic was not heavy and the roads had space. So – in, out and around – everyone I went.

I did this for a few miles until I noticed a black sedan right on my butt. Was he copping my moves with me riding cover for his speeding? After all, the speed limit was 70 I thought. The next sign said 55!!! When did that change???

My speedometer said 82 mph. I then noticed the writing on the hood of his car…..it says…..let me look…..

I see it now…,STATE POLICE!

I take my foot off the gas to slowly slow down and wait for the bubble gum lights to come on. Instead, he pulls to the lane on my left, gets even with me – and looks at me like I asked if Beerhog could date his daughter!

He stays even with me for just about five seconds before speeding on by. It was then that I noticed he had two “passengers” in his back seat. I don’t know who those guys were, but their situation saved Faldo. Talk about a lucky flop.

As I sit comfortably in the airport on the floor, on the isle wall near my gate for Detroit reading Card Player, I hear that familiar sound of “I want sex” heels coming toward me. I look up in time to see a twenty’s year old hot oriental walk by me in the shortest mini-skirt I have ever seen. And from my vantage point, it was not long enough – if you know what I mean. She sits in the section across from my gate, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she is not on my flight. After all, one can hope she is in the window seat next to Faldo at take-off, right?

Uh……no. I don’t think she was heading to Detroit. I sat next to some liberal on his way to the Upper Peninsula to refurbish a barn – with taxpayer’s money. His “foundation” was a non-profit tax exempt government organization that fixed barns out in the middle of nowhere. And he was self-righteously proud of that. I told him what I thought……and he went back to reading Karl Marx and I kept on reading Card Player….and waiting (hoping) for the Asian lady to show up in the back of my plane.

I looked up to see a nice looking 30-ish woman in a spaghetti strapped mid shin blue print sundress, looking into the baggage compartment above her seat – one row up and to my right.

I looked up too and saw room. But then I looked and her bag was big and would barely fit. As she turned to grab it, I started out of my seat and said, “Let me get that.” I know she heard me and saw me getting up, but she said, “That’s ok, really,” and she lifted it over her head before I could get there. What I did see was her unshaven (never shaven, I’m pretty sure) arm pit!

When she did finish loading it, she lowered her arms of course, smiled and said, “Thanks anyway.” I nodded while looking at the mustache her arm and chest had protruding from the front.

I just want to give a quick THANK YOU to all you ladies out there that take care of things like that.

Men, you never realize how much you really appreciate the “little things” until they are gone.