Douge2’s Humor Corner – XXIV

Pennies to Heaven

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.

It happened again the next week.

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate.

This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I tithe to God."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does your son send you?"
The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; What does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas and one in Reno.”

That’s Bull!

An ATF officer stops at a ranch up in Oklahoma and talks with the owner, an old farmer. He tells the farmer, “I need to inspect your property for illegally grown drugs.”

The old farmer says, “Okay, but make sure you don't go in that field over there.”

The officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his Police badge, the officer proudly displays it to the farmer.

“See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. There is nothing to stop me - this badge gives me the right. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The farmer nods politely and goes about his chores.

Within minutes, the farmer hears loud screams and sees the officer running for his life. Close behind is the farmer's bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The officer is clearly terrified.

The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...“Your badge! Show him your badge!!!”