New Clubs
Davethedog and Bigbrimar were getting ready to tee off on the first hole when Bigbri noticed that Dave got a new set of clubs.
Brimar asked Dave how he liked the clubs and if they've helped his game at all.
Dave replied, "Oh yeah, they're great clubs! They've added at least 25 yards to my slices, about 30 yards to my hooks and you would be surprised at the size of my divots!"
The Ducks
Three golfing buddies died in an auto accident and went to heaven.
Upon arrival, they noticed the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter told them they were welcome to play the course, but he cautioned them with one rule: "Don't step on the ducks."
The men had blank expressions on their faces, and finally one of them said, "The ducks?"
"Yes," St. Peter Said. "There are millions of ducks walking around the golf course, and when one of them is stepped on, he squawks, and then the one next to him squawks, and soon they're all raising hell and it really breaks the tranquility. If you step on the ducks, you'll be punished."
The men start playing the course, and within 15 minutes, Beerhog stepped on a duck. The duck squawked, and soon there was a deafening roar of ducks quacking.
St. Peter appeared with an extremely homely woman and asked, "Who stepped on a duck?"
"I did," admitted Beerhog. St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man to the homely woman. "I told you not to step on the ducks," he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."
The two other men were very cautious not to step on any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before, and within minutes, St. Peter walked up with a woman who was even uglier than the other one.
He determined who stepped on the duck by seeing the fear in the Matchy's face, and he cuffed him to the woman. "I told you not to step on the ducks," St. Peter said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."
Faldo was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of nudging a duck. After three months of this, he still hadn't stepped on a duck. St. Peter walked up to Faldo and had with him the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled and without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.
Faldo, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said, "What have I done to deserve this?"
The woman replied: "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."
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1 comment:
(New Clubs)
I found out later in the round that those were DaveTheDogs wifes clubs. He told me he traded his in for a new french maid outfit.
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