Douge2’s Humor Corner – XX (that means #20)

The Escapee

Two golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked women runs across the fairway and into the woods.
Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear.
One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, "What's going on?"

The old guy says, "She's a nymphomaniac from the asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us attendants are trying to catch her."

The golfer says, "What about the guy with the buckets of sand?"
The old guy says, "That's his handicap. He caught her last time."


18 Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex

• You don't have to sneak your golf magazines into the house.
• If you are having trouble with golf, it is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique
• The Ten Commandments do not say anything about golf.
• If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you golfing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet, then you become famous
• Your golf partner won't keep asking questions about other partners you've golfed with
• It's perfectly respectable to golf with a total stranger
• When you see a really good golfer, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you golfing together.
• If your regular golf partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you golf with someone else.
• Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you golf by yourself.
• When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
• You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf stuff.
• You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes and invite co-workers to golf with you without getting sued for harassment
• There is no such thing as a golf transmitted disease
• If you want to watch golf on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.
• Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the rest of your life.
• Nobody expects you to give up golfing if your partner loses interest in the game.
• You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of golf.
• Your golf partner will never say, "What? We just golfed last week! Is that all you ever think about?"

Echo

Beerhog hit his ball into a ravine.
His buddies heard `whack, whack, whack' on and on, until finally he got the ball out.

Matchy asked, "How many strokes did it take you to get out of there?"
Beerhog said, “Two”.

But Matchy said, "I heard seven."
His reply was, "Five of them were echoes."