Humor from Douge2

1. How Your Wife Collects Nik-naks.

George was fixing the front door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Louise to the hardware store.

At the hardware store Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Nik, the manager, to finish waiting on another customer.

When Nik was finished, Louise asked, "How much for the teapot?"

Nik replied, "That's real silver and it costs $500."

"My goodness, that sure is a lot of money!" Louise exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that George had sent her to buy, and Nik went to the back room to find it.

From the back room Nik yelled, "Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Louise hollered back, "Well, no.....but I will for that teapot."


2. Holy @#$%!

A young minister was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends, who had died while traveling through the area.

The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. Not familiar with the backwoods area, the young minister became lost; and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. He finally arrived an hour late.

There was the crew, eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. The minister apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where he saw the vault lid already in place.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. the minister poured out his heart and soul. As he preached, the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," and "Glory," He preached and preached: from Genesis all the way to Revelations, and closed with a prayer and walked silently to his car.

The minister had done his duty for the homeless man and he hoped that the crew would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication.

As the minister was opening the door and taking off my coat, he overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like this before...and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."