Monday, April 07, 2008

Annuale - One Period a Year

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10 comments:

Nik Faldo said...

This is a 4Putt post not a Faldo post, gents.

April 07, 2008 10:07 PM
Anonymous said...

good post from JR CIGARS



No More Mr. Nice Guy

If you smoke cigars and love them (and I’m sure the good majority of you do) you know how hard it is to convince someone who doesn’t smoke that this isn’t some kind of dirty, stinking habit. You try to tell them why you smoke – you do your best to relate to them of the passion you have for cigars and what a good smoke means to the sanctity of your life. You assure them it’s not a habit where you need to run outside your office building in ten-degree weather for a few drags. But still, they look at you like you sport three heads – a hideous smoke breathing monster. They see you as a carcinogenic beast that is infecting the children of the world with your demonic sticks of death.

My son plays travel baseball and a few of the dads like nothing more than to go out to centerfield and fire up a few nice stoags around the third or fourth inning. Watching a ballgame while relaxing with a good cigar is a true pleasure of life for me and it make s the whole experience just that much better. Now the parents on my team are always cool as they know how much I love cigars and that it’s basically a part of me. But I’ve had moms from opposing teams actually tell me what a bad example I set for the kids and how my cigars stink and make them sick. God, I am so tired of this righteous horse-hockey. First off, I’m usually standing in goddamned centerfield when I light up, far from any parents and kids.

Don’t you find it downright aggravating having to keep defending yourself, trying to convince some agitated house-frau that you are not a cavalier moron who flirts with danger at every step? I had a mom last year say to me that it was obvious I didn’t care about myself but couldn’t I have some respect for others in the world? Man, THAT one pissed me off to no end and I gave this broad a verbal lashing she deserved. Who the hell was she, a stranger, judging my own self worth? And furthermore, she was a squat little sow who obviously enjoyed a good Twinkie or five - and damned if I didn’t throw that in her red rotund face. I let her know what a bad influence she was for the children, noting that I actually thought her ass was the backstop until she got up for a fix of Doritos. F-U lady, you self-righteous sack of White Castle Slyders – it’s OK that your cholesterol level is a great bowling score but you’re going to pick on me for enjoying a “legal” product – and one where I for the most part make sure that I’m way clear of others?

The fact that people bitch about my cigar when I’m in the outdoors really drives me nuts. Now many public parks and golf courses are forbidding smoking and that is just plain incredible nonsense. We can’t ban cars, busses, planes, and garbage incinerators from the earth so we’ll ban that man with his Macanudo. And, we’ll give him a hefty fine if he lights up! How the living hell can you be told that you can’t smoke outside? Where in the name of the creator do you zealots want us to go? I’ll answer that: You want us extinct, exterminated, no more, vanquished, kaput. Once again, a legal product that supports hundreds of thousands of jobs and brings in millions in revenues and taxes is the easy target of smoke-nazis and politicians. Smokers are the new pariah, the lowest of the low, the dregs who crawl the earth, slithering around for their evil nicotine fix.

On many occasions I’ve tried convincing an anti-smoking cement head that cigar smoking is a pleasure, a daily treat that I look forward to – one that calms my nerves and soothes my soul. It’s like having a good companion on that long car ride or a comforting buddy before bedtime – one who never judges, but instead empathizes with my every thought. But there is no convincing possible. These people want us banished - and if cigars mean as much to you as they do to me, we won’t let this happen. We can’t. I know as a fact that 99% of cigar smokers are courteous and polite and always try to look out for those around. But when confronted by people like the yenta toad at my son’s game, I say it’s time we shoved their evil venom right back down their throats. If they give you guff, and you’ve been as courteous as possible, stand up for yourself and the passion you hold in your heart so dearly.

Guys, we can’t get pushed around anymore. We’re already relegated to fifth-class citizenship and I say NO MORE. Let the zealots and the politicians know that the way we’re being treated is unacceptable. We’re tired of playing nice and backing off when we are confronted. Cigars are my passion and my love. The enjoyment I derive from them is like nothing else that can be explained. I will not bow to someone else’s idea of what is right and just. And as long as I’m a free man in a free country I will enjoy my beloved smokes whether you like it or not. And if you try to take them away – well, you’ve got one hell of a fight on your hands. Two-Hundred years ago a bunch of rebels died so we could enjoy the freedoms of life. This is still America, pal. So get out of my face, beeotch - before you get a big ol’ billowy whiff of my Hoyo Excaliber.

Defiantly Yours,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman

April 08, 2008 12:58 PM
Matchy said...

That's all good about cigars and freedom, but it still bothers me when my neighbor smokes on his deck and it blows in my open house windows. As a non-smoker I simply do not like the smell. I have no problem with smoking in bars, if I don't like it I won't go there. The question is should I have to smell my neighbor's stogie while I am laying in bed watching tv?

Let the flaming begin...

April 08, 2008 4:38 PM
Nik Faldo said...

That is one powerful nose you got there Matchy. Or that is one powerful cigar that has the unfortunate circumstance to always having the correct wind blowing in the exact wrong direction - every single time he lights one up.

An occasional stump grind at 8am or a twice a year bonfire to clear brush on a Saturday with the smoke pouring into my windows - by my neighbor - and I chaulk it up to being neighborly. I shut my windows or put the coffee on earlier than normal.

April 08, 2008 4:59 PM
Nik Faldo said...

Matchy gave me the perfect chance to use the Armchair Economist solution to this.

Matchy should write down on a piece of paper the amount he would agree to pay his neighbor per day not to smoke a cigar where he could smell it.

The Neighbor would write down on a piece of paper the amount he would pay Matchy per day to smoke on his deck at will.

The one willing to pay the most gets the benefit and the other gets the money!

Afterall, the one collecting is getting more return than he thought it was worth, so he has to be happy! And the one enjoying the benefit must have thought there was enough marginal utility in the activity to pay the man his money.

It is a win-win!

Now if you squawk at this solution, then the problem is not really a problem, is it?

April 08, 2008 5:12 PM
Anonymous said...

i would think about moving matchy. this is why i say that. 1) if you confront your neighbor, he thinks your an uptight ass and will either increase his smog output or he will quit and resent you and therefore have an uncomfortable situation and probably spit on your car door handle every chance he gets. 2) if you dont confront him your a big pussy!


either way it dosent look good. i would call clinton and ask him for some advise if i was you. he does know how to handle a cigar situation.

beerhog

April 08, 2008 7:44 PM
Matchy said...

Basically I do what Faldo said and chalk it up to being neighborly. I get along well with the guy and have never nor will I ever say a word about it. But that does not negate the fact that the smell infringes on the "quiet enjoyment" I am due while I am inside my house during the summer. He does smoke some powerful cigars I suppose. I also put up with his cats in my yard all the time, sometimes shitting on my grass (they have six cats). I must be a big pussy. I would rather be friends with my neighbors if possible and will overlook these minor infractions. I just like to stir the pot a little by letting you cigar lovers know not everyone else adores the by-products of your beloved weed.

April 08, 2008 9:29 PM
Anonymous said...

Love the video!!! Good posts about cigars. Nothing satisfies me more than a fine cigar and a little cognac...except, perhaps the horizontal mambo with my girlfriend in the neighbors pool.

-SpooneyG

April 08, 2008 10:14 PM
Nik Faldo said...

An alternative you may not have considered. Try lighting one up!
Davethedog or Faldo can steer you into the direction of some mighty fine tasting cigars!
You may not know what you are missing.
A cigar after a nice dinner can be better than any dessert served - and probably better for you long term!

April 08, 2008 11:27 PM
Anonymous said...

your too nice matchy! you should buy my video. NO, not my golf or poker playing video. only faldo has seen them and well you can see what it has done for him.


beerhog

April 09, 2008 5:25 PM

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