T3chlady and LittleRedEld Win for the 1st Time in 2019

Martin Luther King wants to know; "Why did you not listen to my words?"

T3chlady begins her rush for a seat in the finals with this win against a big field.
2nd - Derf-63
3rd - Tigercub8189
4th - Absea98
5th - Tomservo2
Bubble - Douge2

Congratulations to T3chlady on her 14th NPP victory.

LittleRedElf was a little late this season with his 1st win of the year. He is obviously letting the rest of us have a chance this year.
2nd - Tomservo2
3rd - Mikeniks-Faldo
4th - Absea98
Bubble - Tigercub8189

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 47th NPP victory.

CAN YOU PLEASE HELP THIS MAN?

I’m reaching out for a friend of mine who is homeless, but wishes to remain anonymous. 

His wife told him to go out and get some pills that will help him keep an erection.

He came back with diet pills.

Anyway, he needs a place to live. Can you help?

His request approved, AND the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN', he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'

Derf-63 (Fred) and Beerhog (Fred) Win for the 1st Time in 2019 - Rjmech Wins 1st Seat

Our twin winners got the twins on the NPP beach!

You must have be a Fred to win around here!
Faldo must apologize for the lack of posting last week. Work, chess and golf used up chunks of time.

But some interesting things did happen while Faldo was pre-occupied:
Derf-63 won for the first time this year, but that did not stop Rjmech from clinching the 1st seat in the NPP finals!
2nd - 95corolla
3rd - GMOgolf
4th - KingUnix
5th - Douge2
Bubble - Mikeniks-Faldo

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 42nd NPP victory!
Congratulations to Rjmech for winning the 1st Seat in the NPP Finals!

Now for the start of the second quarter! And a blast from the past showed up to show us he has lost none of his talent on the felt. Beerhog returns after a seven year absence to show the NPP field how it is done!

2nd - KingUnix
3rd - Hlam142015
4th - Absea98
Bubble - GMOgolf

Congratulations to Beerhog on his 14th NPP victory and moving up the Walk of Fame. That sure took longer than Faldo expected!

WHY SENTENCE STRUCTURE IS SO IMPORTANT:

The boss had to fire somebody and he narrowed it down to one of two people - Debra or Jack. 

It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. 

Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went straight to the cooler to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off.” 

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit today."

Rjmech Wins for the 3rd Time in 2019 - Only Two Can Win the 1st Quarter

Rjmech seems to have poker problems figured out.

Rjmech continues to walk thru the NPP line up on occasion - just enough to take the lead in the 1st quarter. With one week left in the quarter, only one can catch him:

2nd - Johnnied55
3rd - KingUnix
4th - Absea98
Bubble - LittleRedElf

CometgirlXO is the only one who can catch Rjmech for 1st place in the 1st Quarter.

Be here for the exciting finish Tuesday!

Congratulations to Rjmech on his 36th NPP victory!

Lopsided Trade

A Note Left for his wife.

My dear wife,

             

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57years old, can no longer satisfy.

I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight.

 
 When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,
 I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old.

 I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.

 I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the HotelFiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.

He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old

 
 As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Bumper Stickers, T-shirts and Signs

Don’t die a virgin Ladies. The terrorists are up there waiting for you.

We will always be best friends……because you know too much.

Either you love bacon or you are wrong.

Please be patient. Even a toilet can only handle one asshole at a time.

Your name is not Calvin Klein and you are not an underwear model. If you want service here, pull your pants up.

Warning: Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy …..can cause pregnancy.

CometGirlXO Wins for the 3rd Time in 2019 - and Two in a Row!

CometGirlXO has groupies, just like RJ and Elf.

CometGirlXO won again, beating an impressive NPP field for the 2nd time in a row! She even did it by outlasted three NPP legends at the final table, oh and Faldo. Well done Girl!

2nd - Rjmech
3rd - LittleRedElf
4th - Derf-63
5th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Douge2

Congratulations to CometGirlXO on her 3rd NPP victory and for moving up the NPP Walk of Fame!

Now an example of outstanding problem solving:

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.

 However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home? The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

 "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

 While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to Township Road?" 
The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live on Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"

 The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

 The farmer said: "Holy smokes lady, I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

 The lady said: "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket.... and I'll hold the chickens."