Tomservo2 Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016. Some Quotes to Live By.

Tomservo2 fans cheer his victory!

Tomservo2 wins for the 3rd time this year and moves up the Walk of Fame! Tom already has a seat in the NPP Final, and this win shows why.

2nd - GMOgolf - gets into contention for the final seat!
3rd - Tigercub8189 - "the man has alligator blood" and just won't go away!
Bubble - Mikeniks-Faldo (what else is new?)

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 21st NPP win!

Now for some quotes to live by. Boy, do we need these right now:

"Be slow to choose your friends and slower to change them." - Benjamin Franklin

"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." - Lawrence J. Peter

"In preparing for battle (or business or life), I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse." - Rudyard Kipling

"It is better to die on your feet, than on your knees." - Faldo

"Before enlightenment - chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood and carry water." - Zen Buddhist saying

"The greatest reward for doing, is the opportunity to do more." - Jonas Salk

"Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin

"It is hard to detect good luck. It looks so much like something you earned." - Frank Clark

"I find I'm luckier when I work harder." - Dr. Denton Cooley

More quotes next time.

T3chlady Wins for the 2nd Time in 2016 - One Regular Season Game Left!

T3chlady takes no prisoners at the poker table!

The NPP Lady puts herself right in the race to win the 4th quarter seat in the NPP final with tonight's win.

But fear not, m'Lady, because this win clinched you a Total Points seat even if you don't close out the deal next Monday. Faldo is also is guaranteed a seat with Total Point. That would leave one more Total Point seat up for grabs as Faldo is a wildcard and doesn't eliminate a seat by taking one (on the off year he gets lucky enough to actually get one).

There are still two other players - Derf-63 and LittleRedElf - who are vying for the last total point seat spot.

But......the 4th quarter seat is won first! And there are SIX players with a shot to win that! Depending on who wins the 4th quarter seat, will have a direct bearing on who wins the Total Point seats!

If Faldo wins the 4th quarter by winning next week and the right players are shut out, then the 2nd place finisher in the 4th quarter standings gets the 4th quarter seat!

That would take Faldo and possibly that second place finisher out of the Total Points seat list.

Long story short - it will as always be an exciting finish to the NPP year and - as Al Davis always said. "Just win baby!" and that takes care of everything!

One seat will remain to win after next Tuesday's action and that will be the Tournament of Champions winner - or highest finisher that does not already have a seat in the final. This is an excellent chance for someone to get in the NPP Final!

Three seats decided and another 5 to be decided! How cool is that?

Now for your holiday pleasure, here are the top single malt scotches that will not break your budget:

Aberlour a Bunnhd Cask - $80
An Cnoc Cutter Highland - $65
The Balvenie Double Wood (twss) - $50
The Glenlivet Nadurra - $75 (Faldo tested and approved)
The Macallan Cask - $60
Old Pulteney Navigator - $50
Speyburn Arranta Cask - $35

Faldo plans on 'testing' everything on each list. Oh the suffering Faldo does for his blog!

Best States or Socialist Republic of Michigan Counties to Live In

Yeah. What is up with that?

Well, since our country's last  election is only a month away or so, Faldo thought it was time to give you the list of the states that are considered most gun friendly.

Faldo will also give you what are considered the most conservative states in the union.

As you will see, being a 'conservative' state doesn't always mean it is gun friendly. Faldo doesn't get it. How can you be one without the other? But these are the current lists.

Living in these states (both if possible) may help you survive the zombie apocalypse  a little longer when the SHTF.

Gun Friendly
1. Arizona - a bit of a surprise to Faldo because it is a semi - liberal haven.
2. Alaska - Well, yeah. Either that or you are lunch for a grizzly instead of the other way around. But a welfare haven state so it will not make the conservative state list.
3. Utah - Faldo did not expect this state to be that high on guns.
4. Kentucky - Relaxed gun laws and great bourbon. Faldo found his retirement villiage. Oh, wait, another welfare haven for deadbeat parents.
5. Vermont - WOW! A state surrounded by gun Nazi states, and #2 on the state's most liberal list. This state loves guns and votes for the party that wants to take them away from them every single year. Now try to  argue with Faldo when Faldo says liberals are mentally ill.
6. Wyoming - Expected this state to be in the top five at least. But then again, it doesn't make the conservative state list.
7. Kansas - About right. But doesn't make the conservative state list.
8. Montana - Another state Faldo expected in the top five.
9. Georgia - About right. But a welfare haven.
10. Alabama.
Honorable mentions:
11. Texas - this was a shock in one respect. But then again Faldo expected the citizens of Texas to have sealed their border with a wall or a citizen's militia - with or WITHOUT the permission or sanction of their state or federal government. Instead of "Don't mess with Texas", Faldo thinks they changed their state saying to "Mess with Texas and we will let you, while lecturing you to death about how tough we still are."
12. Missouri
13. New Hampshire - A small shock here. But it is a semi-conservative oasis surrounded by liberal cess-pools.
14. Florida - Like Texas, with all the drug traffic, citizens would be sitting ducks without their weapons. Like they are in Chicago, Detroit, New York, New Jersey, California, etc.
15. South Carolina - Ok

Now the top ten most conservative states:
1. Mississippi - Not on the gun list. Why? Or why #1 on the most conservative list?
2.  Alabama - And #10 on the gun list. Looking like a good state so far.
3. Louisiana - Faldo is not buying this one. Welfare and corruption is a staple in this state - which shouts Democrat. And they are not on the gun list, which speaks volumes.
4. Utah - First state that was ranked conservatively where they rank gun wise. The state with the best average score possible!
5. Arkansas - If this state is so conservative, why couldn't they make even honorable mention on the Gun States list? Didn't Bill Clinton pollute the governor's chair in that state before?
6. Tennessee - Not buying this one either. Tennessee has turned into a welfare and illegal alien haven. Faldo lived in this state for a couple years in Faldo's late teens. Faldo knew the Volunteers when they had more onions than this. A pathetic shell of a once proud state. They should change their handle from the Volunteers to the "We Volunteer to Bend Over."
7. Montana - very close to it's gun score. Average of 7.5 to Utah's 4.0 and Alabama's 6.0.
8. Idaho - Not on the gun list? Why????
9. Oklahoma - Texas has a little brother and the Sooner State is it. So little, they could not make the gun list either. Another big - WHY not? Is Sooner Oklahoman for 'girly-men'?
10. South Carolina - Average score - 12.5. Ok, you qualify SC.

Only four states seem to be ultra conservative and ultra 2nd amendment;
Utah
Alabama
Montana
South Carolina

Faldo's pick would be..........Montana!
Utah - 2nd
Alabama - 3rd - warm weather would eventually draw a lot of refugees when the SHTF.
South Carolina - 4th - ditto to Alabama and too close to Washington, DC

To give you a perspective as to how conservative and how gun friendly these states are, we will use the the Socialist Republic of Michigan as a base mark. The Wolverine state has miles and miles of conservative space and a few huge cesspools of major corrupt cities of liberalism that push our ranks about 35th in both gun rights and conservatism.

This brings up another question - what counties in Michigan would have enough conservatives in there to actually fight with you when the SHTF? How about a top 10 or 15 list of the most conservative counties in Michigan to help real Americans to know where your fellow Constitutional citizens are:

1. Ottawa - 67%
2. Missaukee - 66%
3. Hillsdale - 62%
4. Livingston - 61%
5 - 8. Antrim - 60% - Dickenson - Luce - Sanalac
9. Alcona - 59% - Barry - Branch - Kalkaska - Otsego
14. Emmet - 58% - Montmorency - Newaugo
17. Midland - 57%

IF you have to live in the Socialist Republic of Michigan, these look like the counties to be in.

Absea98 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2016 - and Some Survivor Tips

Absea98 just floored the competition.

Absea98 beat a field of nine to win for the 2nd time this year and moves into contention for the final quarter seat in the NPP Finals.

2nd - Rjmech (who is heading on a long live tournament schedule shortly! Good luck RJ!)
3rd - Theedouble*d
Bubble - Derf-63

Congratulations to Absea98 on his 15th NPP win.

With the hurricane bearing down on Florida, Faldo thought it would be a good tome to give a little advice from a real civilian war survivor:

1. Living near a well with a manual pump is like being in Eden. Of course lakes and streams are second options, but the competition will be fierce. Think of the wildebeest trying to get a drink from an alligator infested pond.

2. After a while, even gold will lose it's luster. There is no greater luxury in a survivor situation than toilet paper. It's surplus is greater than gold.

3. Canned foods are awesome. So are a few good can openers! It is especially good if the contents in the cans tastes fine unheated.

4. Another great thing to have is canned gravy. It is inexpensive and will make a lot of dry unappetizing things edible. It only needs to be warmed enough to eat and doesn't have to be 'cooked'.

5. Books are a good thing to have around. Mysteries, romance novels and adventure stories become more valuable as time goes on. Picture the world without internet or TV and you have to save your radio power for just news bulletins. Plus, the paper is a good fire starter.

6. And we do need to feel human. Toothpaste and soap will make any situation more tolerable.

7. Slow burning candles.

8. Matches, matches, matches!

9. Gin, rum, vodka, whiskey, etc - you get the idea. Not for drinking - necessarily - but to disinfect items or injuries in a pinch.

10. Some bleach. A drop of bleach in a gallon of water to kill bacteria if you can't boil it. A drop of bleach and boiling the water is even better.

Derf-63 Wins for the 5th Time in 2016

Irina Shayk waits for Derf-63 in the NPP lounge.

Derf-63 played aggressive all night, and hit the hands when needed. This win will get him back into the race for the 4th quarter seat in the NPP Final

2nd - T3chlady
3rd - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Absea98

No one is running away with this quarter and there are plenty of rounds left. Do yourself a favor and settle in for some great poker action on Tuesday evening and be here at NPP on Pokerstars.net!

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 28th NPP win!

Now for some levity from Douge2:



A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. 

Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the damn ball!”

The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Forget it, man,” says his partner. “You’ll never hit her from here.”

.................................................................................................................


A hack golfer spent a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddie. 

Being a poor golfer, he played badly all day. Getting close to the end of his round, the golfer spotted a lake off to the left of the fairway.

He looked at the caddie and said, “I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”

The caddied looked back at him and said, “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”

..................................................................................................................

Blue Lives Matter:

A police officer called his dispatcher from his radio:

"I have an interesting case here. A little old lady just shot her husband for walking on the floor she just finished mopping."

The dispatcher said, "Is the woman in custody? Do you need back-up."

The officer stated, "No she is not. And yes, I require back up. But they don't have to hurry. The floor won't be dry for a little while yet."

.......................................................................................................................

 

This guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after enjoying a day of golf. 

 

His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade.

"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a f****** mess, and the dishes aren't done. 

I'm completely exhausted!  I didn't get enough sleep last night.   Can't you see I'm still in my f****** pajamas?? 

I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!   

Why the h*** did you bring him home without letting me know ahead of time, you stupid idiot?"

The man says, "Because he's thinking of getting married..."

T3chlady Wins for the 1st Time in 2016

T3chlady on the left....at the felt taking down pots from the mopes.

The Lovely Lady from Ann Arbor takes out NPP's finest tonight in a field of 12 players. She is now in the running for the 4th quarter seat in the NPP Finals and is locking down a back up plan with a Total Points seat.

She has the 4th quarter seat now as Faldo is a wild-card and does not 'take' a seat when he wins a seat. So just ignore Faldo.

All the women do.

2nd - Absea98
3rd - 95corolla
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - LittleRedElf

And now a touching story:

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together, of course was perfect.
One snowy stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road.
Then they noticed someone on the side of the road in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor?

The answer in the comments.

Faldo Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016 - FBI Investigation Started!

Mrs. Faldo after hearing the answer to her question of .."I married who??"

Good luck with that. We see how good they are at their job.

Anyway, Faldo hot - carded his way to a victory over a field of eleven this round. He takes the lead in the 4th quarter. Not to worry folks. Faldo had the lead at some point in the other three quarters and did not hang on.

The 4th quarter is up for grabs - so we will see you Tuesday night!

2nd - Tigercub8189
3rd - Theedouble*d
Bubble - Johnnied55

Now for the last segment of Rules for Men:

21. Unless you are in prison, never fight naked.

22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

23. If a buddy is out-numbered, out manned or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last few hours his actions have caused you to think "this guy needs an ass-whippin'", then you may sit back and enjoy.

24. Never join your wife/girlfriend in dissing a buddy, except if she is withholding sex until you agree with her.

25. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: either both urinating or both in line. In all situations, a nod is all the conversation required.

26. Before allowing your drunk buddy to cheat on his wife/girlfriend, you must attempt at least one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye and tell you to "get lost", then you are absolved of all responsibility.

27. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken, monkey sex, the fact that you are feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was and how it will never happen again.

28. Never ask to ride another man's Harley. You have a better chance asking to ride his wife/girlfriend.

With a Change of Political Parties at the Top, the USA Can Return to the Top

We are still the best country, but .....somehow......the citizens of this country used the excuse of proving color - blindness to elect an enemy of the Constitution to the highest office in the land.

Not a peep from any Democrat about the dismantling of our country and very little resistance by the Republicans.

Now the Democrats are running a treasonous crook and liar for President - 1st term - and her rapist husband for a third term. Not a peep from any Democrat and attacks by top Republicans only hitting the Republican nominee for President. Not a peep by top Republicans aimed at the real enemy of the Constitution of the United States - the entire Democrat Party.

As we remember the attack to our country 15 years ago, remember which party backs a President openly ignoring the laws of this country on immigration. Remember which party backs a nominee for president that sells USA favors from her office for profit, places national security secrets on an illegal email server, lies to the faces of the American people, lies to the FBI and Congress - and is still walking the streets as a candidate for our land's highest office.

If you vote Democrat - your are either a completely lazy and ignorant person who will not look at facts, a mentally ill person who is delusional and cannot see or understand facts, or a traitor to the United States of America. And that is a fact.

Theedouble*d Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016 - Tomservo2 Wins 3rd Quarter!

One for each of the two 1st place winners - DD and Tom! Congratulations guys!

Inquiring minds want to know - who got the blonde? DD or Tom?

It was a 'must point' night for Tomservo2, Derf-63 and Faldo. Tomservo2 got it done! Congratulations Tom!

Theedouble*d went thru a 12 player minefield of great and determined players to win this one.

Faldo is not aware of what happened to Derf-63, but the DD had AA when Faldo read DD's possible hand wrong (yeah, big surprise there) with QQ. Well played DD.

Congratulations to Theedouble*d on his 21st win!

Now more Man Rules:

11. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask permission and he is required to grant it.

12. Women who claim they like to watch sports are to be treated as spies until they demonstrate actual knowledge of the game and players, AND only get refills and snacks during commercials.

13. The universal payment for buddy's who help you move is beer and pizza.

14. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriend within 30 minutes of them meeting.

15. You are not required to bond with your girlfriend's friends boyfriend if he is a dickhead. Low level sports bonding is all that is required.

16. When stumbling upon other guys watching sports, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but never ask who is playing.

17. When your girlfriend/wife wants to fix her friend up with your buddy, you may give permission only if you have warned your buddy so he can prepare his story about joining the priesthood.

18. The only time a guy can drink a fruity-chick drink is when you are sunning on a tropical beach and it is delivered by a topless supermodel.....and it is free. Only THEN!

19. You may reach and take the last beer or the last slice of pizza - but not both.

20. Phrases that may not be uttered when spotting a guy weightlifting:
"Yeah man, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more - harder!"
"One more set, then we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass. Are you a Sagittarius?"

ThePunk75 Wins for the 8th Time in 2016!

ThePunk75 has one for every NPP win!

Obviously The Punk is now at another level! Although eight wins in a season is not a record (11 is by Rounder in 2007), it is the third most ever in a season! He ties 7Jokers for third, who also had 8 wins in 2007.
Rounder in 2007 had 11 wins!
Lump2 has the 2nd most wins in a season with 9 in 2012.

LittleRedElf (2009), Douge2 (2014), and Rjmech (2013) are in 4th (or 5th if you want to be picky) with 7 wins in a season.

But keep in mind, the fields were usually a little smaller and may not be as tough as they are now. But....then again, we had a lot of strong players back then also, so even wading thru them in a sit-n-go was no easy task.

Oh to have the great ones of the past return to do battle with the stars of today! It would be great poker - and Faldo might as well retire to the rail and watch the action from a safe distance!

There are 50 rounds in a season and winning 15% or 20% of the tournaments is quite a feat!

But back to this past week, the top dogs are fighting it out to get the 3rd seat in the NPP final. ThePunk75 would be leading this quarter too, but he already has a seat so we move to the next set of players:

2nd - Derf-63 (3rd in the 3rd quarter race)
3rd - Tomservo2 (2nd in the 3rd quarter race)
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo (1st in the 3rd quarter race)
Bubble - LittleRedElf (4th place in the 3rd quarter race)

Keep in mind that Faldo is a wildcard so if he hangs on to the lead, the 2nd place person also gets a seat! Right now it is a 3 horse race to the wire with ONE round remaining!

Be here next week for the exciting conclusion to the 3rd quarter! You can practice up or pick up much needed Totals points as maybe as many as two players will exit that list also with seats already locked up!

Congratulations to ThePunk75 on his 32nd NPP win!

The Man Code - Part I of III

1. Thou shall not watch chick flicks. If forced to in order to score, look at your date's legs or boobs the entire movie. She will know you are "into her". Or want to be.

2. Under no circumstanced to two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who takes pictures at the bachelor party can be legally killed.

4. When you are asked as to the whereabouts of a buddy's wife, girlfriend, or girlfriends, mistresses, mother, priest, shrink, accountant, the IRS, the police or doctor, you may not provide any useful information. You are permitted to deny his very existence!

5. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail your buddy out of jail within 24 hours.

6. If you go hunting, fishing, golfing, bowling, play in a weekly/monthly poker game, go to a pro or college sports event - more than once - or have more than 12 beers total with any guy - his mother, wife, girlfriends, sisters and nieces are OFF LIMITS! Cousins are still in play.

7. If a guy is more than 5 minutes late, you are no longer required to wait. He knows this. For a woman you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of HOTNESS you awarded her.

8. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. However, if the temperature is not suitable, you may bitch and the beer doesn't count as a solid.

9. No man should ever buy another man a birthday present. It's considered very optional and even slightly gay. Birthday shots are permitted.

10. Talking to the "6" or lower friend of the hot girl your buddy is hitting on is your legal duty as a man.

More next time.  

Derf-63 Wins for the 4th Time in 2016 - and Two in a Row!

Derf-63 wins two! One right next to the other.

Derf-63 is certainly making a move in the 3rd quarter to get a seat in the NPP final. Faldo thinks everyone knows that if Faldo wins the 3rd Quarter, the person in 2nd place also gets a seat in the final! So that is more incentive to be near the top if by some miracle Faldo hangs on to the lead.

Faldo did fail the last two quarters to do that. So, there's that.

2nd - Mikeniks-Faldo
3rd - Tomservo2
4th - Absea98
Bubble - Theedouble*d

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 27th NPP win!

Now some more reasons why a dog is better than a wife:

13. Dogs like to go hunting.

14. If you bring another dog home, your dog is happy to play with both of you.

15. A dog will not wake you up when you are trying to go to sleep to ask you, "If I die, will you get another dog?"

16. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

17. A dog will not hold out on you until it gets a new car.

18. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it is interesting.

19. On a car trip, your dog never insists running the car heater.

20. Dogs don't let magazine articles run their lives.

21. Dogs don't let magazine article quizzes make them mad at you.

22. When your dog gets old and sick, you can have it put to sleep.

23. Dogs like to ride in the back seat naked.

24. Dogs don't ever want to go to Neiman-Marcus.

25. If your dog leaves you, it won't take half your stuff.

Derf-63 Wins for the 3rd Time in 2016

Three cheers for Derf-63's three wins this year!

Derf-63 gets back in the 3rd quarter race with his win over a small field of ten.

The end of summer is quite often a bit of a lull in attendance for the tourney. But, the NPP table will heat up again soon, so sign up and get in here for the exciting conclusion to the NPP season and the 'playoffs' in December!

2nd - LittleRedElf
3rd - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Tomnservo

Congratulations to Derf-63 on his 26th NPP win!

Now the Part I list on why dogs are Man's best friend!

Why dogs are better than wives:

1. The later you are coming home, the happier they are to see you.

2. Dogs don't mind if you play with other dogs.

3. If another dog is gorgeous, your dog won't hate it.

4. Your dog won't even notice if you call it by another dog's name.

5. Your dog likes it if you leave your clothes on the floor.

6. A dog's parents never visit.

7. Dogs do their snooping outside and not in your wallet, phone or internet browser history.

8. Dogs don't hate their bodies or hide their body from you.

9. Dogs can't talk and therefore never nag.

10. Dogs enjoy getting petted in public.

11. A dog is always ready to leave when you are.

12. Your dog doesn't care or thinks you are amusing when you are drunk.

Part II next week! Yes, there are a lot of reasons dogs are man's best friend!

Tomservo2 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2016

We all have a big fight on our hands when Tomservo2 is at the table.

Tomservo2 - Mr. Slow and Steady - takes over the lead in the 3rd quarter race for a seat in the NPP Final.

Tom is always "hanging around, hanging around. The man has alligator blood!"

This will make for an exiting race the rest of the quarter.

2nd - GMOgolf
3rd - T3chlady
4th - Derf-63
Bubble - who else? Mikeniks-Faldo

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 20th NPP win!

Now for some questions that keep Faldo up at night. Well, to clarify - questions that keep him from falling asleep.

 Why do toasters even have settings that burn a piece of bread into charred flakes?

Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist if they want to know the time, but not to their crotches when they have to go to the bathroom?

Why does Pluto the dog remain on all fours but Goofy the dog is able to stand straight up?

What do they call male ballerinas?

If Wylie Coyote has the money to buy all that Acme junk, why not just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from veggies, what is baby oil made from?

If you absentmindedly prick your finger and no one is ashamed of you, why are they if you absentmindedly do the opposite?

PS: Sorry for the delay in posting. Sometimes life gets in the way of poker.