Rjmech Wins for the 3rd Time in 2019 - Only Two Can Win the 1st Quarter

Rjmech seems to have poker problems figured out.

Rjmech continues to walk thru the NPP line up on occasion - just enough to take the lead in the 1st quarter. With one week left in the quarter, only one can catch him:

2nd - Johnnied55
3rd - KingUnix
4th - Absea98
Bubble - LittleRedElf

CometgirlXO is the only one who can catch Rjmech for 1st place in the 1st Quarter.

Be here for the exciting finish Tuesday!

Congratulations to Rjmech on his 36th NPP victory!

Lopsided Trade

A Note Left for his wife.

My dear wife,

             

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57years old, can no longer satisfy.

I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight.

 
 When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,
 I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old.

 I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.

 I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the HotelFiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.

He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old

 
 As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Bumper Stickers, T-shirts and Signs

Don’t die a virgin Ladies. The terrorists are up there waiting for you.

We will always be best friends……because you know too much.

Either you love bacon or you are wrong.

Please be patient. Even a toilet can only handle one asshole at a time.

Your name is not Calvin Klein and you are not an underwear model. If you want service here, pull your pants up.

Warning: Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy …..can cause pregnancy.

CometGirlXO Wins for the 3rd Time in 2019 - and Two in a Row!

CometGirlXO has groupies, just like RJ and Elf.

CometGirlXO won again, beating an impressive NPP field for the 2nd time in a row! She even did it by outlasted three NPP legends at the final table, oh and Faldo. Well done Girl!

2nd - Rjmech
3rd - LittleRedElf
4th - Derf-63
5th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - Douge2

Congratulations to CometGirlXO on her 3rd NPP victory and for moving up the NPP Walk of Fame!

Now an example of outstanding problem solving:

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.

 However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home? The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

 "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

 While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to Township Road?" 
The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live on Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"

 The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

 The farmer said: "Holy smokes lady, I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

 The lady said: "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket.... and I'll hold the chickens."

Rjmech Wins for the 2nd Time in 2019

Rjmech always has groupies at the rail.

Rjmech is back in the discussion for the 1st quarter seat in the NPP final. Bad news for the rest of the field with 4 rounds left.

2nd - Absea98
3rd - Tigercub8189
4th - hlam142015
5th - T3chlady
Bubble - 95corolla

Congratulations to Rjmech on his 35th NPP victory!

AT THE STOCK SHOW

A man and his wife go to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that has the bulls. They come to the first bull and his sign states: "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."

They then move on to the next bull and his sign states: "This bull mated 68 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This bull mated 68 times last year. That works out to over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one, too."

Finally, they proceed to the last bull and his sign states: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and she says, "WOW! This one mated 365 times last year. That's ONCE A DAY. Boy, you could really learn from this one."

The man turns to his wife and calmly says, 

"Why don't you go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

AT THE BAR

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his model 1911 Colt .45 caliber pistol with an 8 shot clip, and yelled, "I got one in the chamber and 8 shots in the mag! Who in here has been screwing my wife?"

 A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need more ammo."

CometGirlXO Wins for the 2nd Time in 2019 - Weather Predictions are a Guess at Best

Sofia Lovgren has nothing on CometGilrXO

CometGirlXO claims she is just going to give a kiss and a hug to everyone, and then instead - she crushes their spirit with great poker play. Well done CometGirlXO - as it appears NPP has yet another poker star in the stable!

2nd - Douge2
3rd - T3chlady
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
5th - GMOGolf
Bubble - Rjmech

Congratulations to CometGirlXO on her 2nd NPP victory and moving up the Walk of Fame!

It's been a cold winter.
Liberals claim they can predict our demise from our weather based 100 years of decent data on a planet that has been here millions of years.
Yeah.....that makes sense. And how come it is never good news? First we are going to freeze. Then we are going to burn and drown. Now we are going to all die is storms. Really?

Anyway, everyone is always trying to predict the future weather:

Late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he
looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold
and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth,
called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service
responded.

 So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

 'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

 The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

 Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure
that the winter is going to be very cold?'

 'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest
winters we've ever seen.'

 'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

 The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood'