Tomservo2 Wins for the 3rd Time in 2017

Tomservo2 is knocking the heads off the competition!

Tomservo2 is En Fuego! A little Spanish lingo for 'on fire' or 'in the zone'.!

This time he vanquished 14 players. Will anyone be able to stop him? We have eight rounds left to catch him and it will not be easy.

2nd - Johnnied55
3rd - Douge2
4th - TooBIGAKQ
Bubble - Theedouble*d

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 24th NPP win!

They finally invented the The Ultimate Fact Finding computer. This was quicker, faster and more accurate than any other search engine developed. The inventors claimed that it knew or could find the answer to any question asked.

The salesman stepped forward at it's unveiling and said, "The Ultimate Fact Finding computer - or TUFF - will give you an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it."

A computer professor from the University of Michigan stepped forward and asked, "Where is my father?"

There was a soft hum of powerful electronic processing for just a couple seconds, when an electronic voice said in a level tone, "Your father is working for a kitchen remodeling firm in Florida, and will retire next year."

The professor laughed and said, "Actually, my father is dead! It was a trick question."

The salesman was shocked and a little unnerved, but quickly replied, "I didn't think it would matter, but perhaps a rewording of the question might work better. Can you try again?" The salesman was breaking into a heavy sweat since he had invested his life savings into this computer firm's stock!

So the smug professor from the Socialist Republic of Ann Arbor said, "Very well, where is my mother's husband."

The computer hummed again and said, "Your mother's husband is dead and buried in Westbury Cemetery in New York State, but your father is still working in Florida."

250,000 Hits for NPP! - Oh and Trump Takes Office

The United States Wins in a huge upset again! God saved the USA from the internal communists one last time.

Tomservo2 Wins for the 2nd Time in 2017

Tomservo2 is knocking the rest of  NPP senseless!

Tomservo2 is on fire! Already a two-time winner this year, he moves up the Walk of Fame! Way to go Tom! He bests a field of 15 players as he took the lead a quarter of the way thru the final table and never looked back.

2nd - LittleRedElf
3rd - Wingsfancurt
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
5th - Absea98
Bubble - GMOgolf

Tomservo2 has the lead with LittleRedElf right behind him. The Elf has a win and two cashes - so he is back in form early.

Come join us and see if you can unseat these two great players who are running hot right now!

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 23rd NPP win!

Now for a secret hacked email! NPP will not reveal the source of this email. It could have been the Russians. It could have been one of the hundreds of criminals and terrorists released by First Traitor Obama. It could have been more sloppy loose lips at the Democrat National Committee as they plot against their own members, and then blame everyone else.

Or it could have been found in a file drawer of forgotten letters to our own T3chlady - who is a computer expert - par exsalonce! Here it is:

Dear Tech Lady,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to my Clothes Allowance modules, and limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 6.0 and Golf Central 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and when I tried to add Housecleaning 2.6, it simply crashes the system. I have run Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but it didn't work at all. In fact it increased the installation of other undesirable background programs, such as Tilted Kilt 3.8, Hooters 3.6. or the immediate system takeover by malware BWW1.0.

Signed Desperate Wife

Dear Desperate Wife,

Keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:/I THOUGHT_YOU_LOVED_ME!! and install Tears 6.2.

Husband 1.0 then will automatically run the applications Flowers 12.0 and Guilt 3.0.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, and Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is such a bad program as it creates "Snoring Loud" wav files. 

DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or try to install another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications in Husband 1.0 and will crash the system.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve the system. I personally recommend NiceDinners 8.0 and Lingerie 5.3.

Good luck,

T3chlady

Little Red Elf Wins for the 1st Time in 2017

Little Red Elf just floored all the competition Tuesday night!

Oh boy! We are all in trouble if The Elf returns to winning form this year!

Congratulations to LittleRedElf, besting a field of 14 on the 2nd round of the 1st quarter.

2nd - Derf-63
3rd - Rjmech
4th - Absea98
Bubble gal - T3chlady

Absea98 takes over the 1st quarter lead with two straight cashes.

Congratulations to LittleRedElf on his 32nd NPP win!

Here is a list of employment recommendations Faldo has received over the years from past associates.

"In my opinion, you will be very fortunate if you ........actually get him to work ......for you."

That must mean I am truly a hot property!

"I most enthusiastically recommend this person ..........with no qualifications....... whatsoever."

See, that was with feeling too!

"I am pleased to say that Faldo is .....a former ......colleague of mine."

That person likes me.

"I can assure you .....that no person.......would do a better job."

I am that good, eh?

"I urge you to...... waste no time making him an offer...... of employment."

The all want Faldo I guess.

"All in all,...... I cannot say enough good things about him.....or........ recommend him too highly."

There you go. Testimonials to Faldo!

Tomservo2 Wins 1st NPP Tourney of 2017

Obviously this was not Tomservo2's first rodeo.

The 24th season of Niks Poker Palace got underway and Tomservo2 bested 12 players to take the early lead. And with this win, he moves up the ladder on the NPP Walk of Fame.

2nd - Absea98
3rd - Johnnied55
4th - Mikeniks-Faldo
Bubble - GMOgolf

Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 22nd NPP win!

Now and oldie but a goody with classic bumper stickers from the past:

IF YOU DRINK, DON'T PARK. ACCIDENTS CAUSE PEOPLE.

MY KID GOT YOUR HONOR ROLL STUDENT PREGNANT

YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE VOICES ARE TALKING TO ME.

I DO WHATEVER MY RICE KRISPIES TELL ME TO

CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A RESPONSIBLE ADULT

I'M CHANGING LANES - COVER ME

HONK IF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN AN UZI FIRED FROM A CAR WINDOW

WARNING! DRIVER ONLY CARRIES $50 IN AMMUNITION

STOP LIGHTS TIMED FOR 35 MPH WORK FOR 70 MPH

BOLDLY GOING NOWHERE

CAUTION: WOMEN DRIVERS - EVERYWHERE!

DON'T BE SEXIST. BROADS HATE THAT.

Season 24 Starts Tomorrow - Changes Made by Poker Stars

Faldo dedicated to his lake swimming work out all year round.

Hi NPP'ers.

Ready for 2017?

Poker Stars has upped the minimum entry fee for private tournaments.

Twenty times the past minimum to $17000 entry and $3000 rake.

All players are re-instated so registration is now OPEN for tomorrow night.

See you at the virtual felt.

Faldo