Douge2's Humor Corner 0414: Think About It.

And why are they so baggy?

Everyone Wants To Do That
Sitting together on a train were Obama, a Marine, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later. There is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.
No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the Blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.
The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.
Obama thinks: The Marine must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The Marine thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can slap the shit out of Obama again!!

Cowboy Headstone

Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah !
I wonder if he died knowing he won the 'Coolest Headstone' contest?
His five rules for a happy life are at the bottom.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

When You Turn 65, Be Sure to Ask Your Doctor

"You know, when I was 30, when I got an erection, I couldn’t bend it with both hands.
By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.
By the time I was 50, I could bend it 20 degrees, no problem.
When I turned 60, I could bent it in half with just one hand.
The doctor finally says,”So what is your question?"

“Well, I just turned 65. How much stronger am I going to get?