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| One of the typical maids at the NPP Headquarters. |
Dear John, I’m sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.
Love,
Mary
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
A man comes home…from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”
“Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”
“How did you manage that, you fool?”
“It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”
What is the…difference between a professional poker player and God?
God doesn’t think He’s a professional poker player.
The regular Friday night poker…game was still going strong after midnight. One of the players returned from the restroom, saying “Bill, I just saw your wife in the bedroom with Frank!”
“OK, that’s it, guys,” Bill yells. “This is definitely the last lap to my big blind.”
A doctor answers…his phone at home on a Friday night. His colleague says, “We need an eighth player for poker.” The doctor replied, “Hold on. I’ll be there ASAP.” As he was grabbing his coat and keys, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “It sure is,” he said. “There are already seven other doctors there!”
The regular Friday night…poker game was going on when John lost $500 on a single hand, had a heart attack, and died. “Who’s going to tell his wife?” They drew cards, and Bill drew the low card. He knocked on John’s door and told his wife, “John lost $500 at poker tonight.”
She turns red and yells, “Tell that $#*^_^ to DROP DEAD!”
Bill walks away sheepishly and says, “I’ll tell him.”
A man hears a voice…that tells him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. The next day he hears the same voice telling him “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores it. On a third day, he hears the voice again; saying “Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Las Vegas.” He finally obeys.
Upon arriving in Las Vegas, the voice says, “Go to the Rio.” He does.
At the Rio, the voice says, “Put your last $10,000 on a WSOP entry.” He does.
The first hand of the tournament, the man is dealt As Ac. “Go all in,” commands the voice. He does and gets three callers. The flop is Jh Th 9h. “Shit!” says the voice.
1 comment:
A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor’? The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.'
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