California became a state.
The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically nothing has changed except back then,
the women had real boobs and men didn't hold hands.
That, my friends, is your history lesson for today….
It’s Time!
My neighbors Christine and Betsy, the two cute, young,
lesbians next door, asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was quite surprised, when they gave me a Timex! It was
very nice of them, but I'm pretty sure that they misunderstood me, when I said:
"I wanna watch"
It Can be a Workout!
When my doctor asked me about what
I did yesterday, I told him about my day:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake"
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake"
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."
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