Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A Review of USA On-line Poker Sites Still Available to Americans
The fact I have to write this under these conditions saddens me to no end. More than the double gasoline prices since the Dictators took over the White House.
Posted on the right side of the blog are the sites still open for US (us) players. I thought I would share my experience with those sites. I have played at them all. They are in the order of my preference.
Ultimate Bet and Absolute Poker
If you still have cash on these sites, you can still sit down and play. If not, you can’t. You also can’t cash out. Pathetic, but I digress.
This still offers the most options and levels of play. You are just going to wait to collect your profits.
BoDog Poker
BoDog is probably the safest site still available. Their main business is being a sports book. If they don’t pay, their business is dead. It is the only site I would consider sinking any heavy amount of money in.
Traffic is light at the cash and tournament tables. But sit-n-goes seem to fill up quick enough. I like the SNG’s because the “beginners SNG’s” pay five of the 10 seats. Cash games go as high as $30 – 60, but the action seems solid at $1 – 2. Tournaments are usually below 100 total entries.
Cake Poker
I think this site is ok, but they lost a lot of players when Doyle Brunson left for the True Poker skin. But they may have made a comeback now. This is a solid #2 in my book, but their SNG’s didn’t seem to fill. But the tournament action is good. No experience with their cash games, but there are ten seats at the tables.
World Poker Exchange
I love this site and it is also has the money protection of being a sportsbook. My issue is I have not set up a way to fund this account. I’m sure it can be done, but I have not put forth the effort to do it. I may have to now.
If there was an easy way to fund it, I would put it right behind BoDog and ahead of Sportsbook Poker (if you moved them).
I am doing a “Faldo Challenge” on this site also, having free-rolled some cash into my “zero” starting account. I will take that money and play some cash tourneys in December to see if I can really “build” it up.
Sportsbook Poker (aka Carbon Poker, Players Choice and a few other names)
Again, I would go with the Sportsbook skin as your money is also in a sportsbook account. I could make a case for this site being above Cake Poker, but I just don’t like the software. But if you don’t mind it, you can safely move it up my list to behind BoDog. Sportsbook does have a rep for being slow to pay however.
Poker4Ever
This site has a ton of freerolls if you like those. But they don’t have a lot of traffic (yet). Tournaments are just about all turbo and the freerolls are super-turbos. My experience with their cash games has been profitable, but again, not a lot of players.
True Poker (also Doyle’s Room and a few other names)
Low number of players, tournaments don’t fill and are not plentiful, and SNG’s are very slow to fill. Cash action is light but you can find tables. Payouts have never been a problem. But I have seen some collusion on the site and no action taken by management.
Don’t take the rankings as all that. If on a scale from 1 to 10, I have to give BoDog a 10, then Cake, Sportsbook and World Poker Exchange are an 8, Poker4ever and True Poker is a 6.
Check them all out and pick the one you like the best.
Posted on the right side of the blog are the sites still open for US (us) players. I thought I would share my experience with those sites. I have played at them all. They are in the order of my preference.
Ultimate Bet and Absolute Poker
If you still have cash on these sites, you can still sit down and play. If not, you can’t. You also can’t cash out. Pathetic, but I digress.
This still offers the most options and levels of play. You are just going to wait to collect your profits.
BoDog Poker
BoDog is probably the safest site still available. Their main business is being a sports book. If they don’t pay, their business is dead. It is the only site I would consider sinking any heavy amount of money in.
Traffic is light at the cash and tournament tables. But sit-n-goes seem to fill up quick enough. I like the SNG’s because the “beginners SNG’s” pay five of the 10 seats. Cash games go as high as $30 – 60, but the action seems solid at $1 – 2. Tournaments are usually below 100 total entries.
Cake Poker
I think this site is ok, but they lost a lot of players when Doyle Brunson left for the True Poker skin. But they may have made a comeback now. This is a solid #2 in my book, but their SNG’s didn’t seem to fill. But the tournament action is good. No experience with their cash games, but there are ten seats at the tables.
World Poker Exchange
I love this site and it is also has the money protection of being a sportsbook. My issue is I have not set up a way to fund this account. I’m sure it can be done, but I have not put forth the effort to do it. I may have to now.
If there was an easy way to fund it, I would put it right behind BoDog and ahead of Sportsbook Poker (if you moved them).
I am doing a “Faldo Challenge” on this site also, having free-rolled some cash into my “zero” starting account. I will take that money and play some cash tourneys in December to see if I can really “build” it up.
Sportsbook Poker (aka Carbon Poker, Players Choice and a few other names)
Again, I would go with the Sportsbook skin as your money is also in a sportsbook account. I could make a case for this site being above Cake Poker, but I just don’t like the software. But if you don’t mind it, you can safely move it up my list to behind BoDog. Sportsbook does have a rep for being slow to pay however.
Poker4Ever
This site has a ton of freerolls if you like those. But they don’t have a lot of traffic (yet). Tournaments are just about all turbo and the freerolls are super-turbos. My experience with their cash games has been profitable, but again, not a lot of players.
True Poker (also Doyle’s Room and a few other names)
Low number of players, tournaments don’t fill and are not plentiful, and SNG’s are very slow to fill. Cash action is light but you can find tables. Payouts have never been a problem. But I have seen some collusion on the site and no action taken by management.
Don’t take the rankings as all that. If on a scale from 1 to 10, I have to give BoDog a 10, then Cake, Sportsbook and World Poker Exchange are an 8, Poker4ever and True Poker is a 6.
Check them all out and pick the one you like the best.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Douge2’s Humor Corner – LXIII
The Housework is Never Done
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door and then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained.
"It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress." she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
Sombitch!
A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.
He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, “I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell.
Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.
Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'
'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Leroy gasping for breath.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'
No thanks, I don't want it,' gasped Leroy.
The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'
Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the pool!"
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door and then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained.
"It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress." she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
Sombitch!
A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.
He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, “I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell.
Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.
Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'
'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Leroy gasping for breath.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'
No thanks, I don't want it,' gasped Leroy.
The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'
Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the pool!"
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Faldo Says Let's Have Spring Already!!!
Amist billowing clouds of fragrant aromatic premium cigar smoke - both first and second hand - here I sit on my golf cart.
It is I, Faldo, with talent on loan from God, Bobby Fischer, Mark Twain, Chip Reese and Ben Hogan.
Happy Spring everyone!
My Easter prayer is that Obama is our last Muslim president. Amen.
Friday, April 22, 2011
The Community Card Review – XXVII
Happy Earth Day! And we have reason to give thanks. Lord knows it was not easy to overcome the odds, but somehow mankind is still here.
Since the first Earth Day was celebrated 41 years ago, humans on this planet have faced death – due to our own very existence and living our lives. But somehow, we are still here.
In 1968, we dodged the Population Bomb when leftist professor Paul Ehrlich said that due to over-population our Earth would run out of all resources by 2010 if we did not start massive sterilization and death panels to weed out the unnecessary among us (I assume that would be anyone who disagreed with him and other Democrats). To our peril we did not heed his warning, but we are still here.
In 1973, some scientists told us that if we did not stop burning wood, coal, fossil fuels and slow the world's manufacturing growth, our pollution of the air would cause a great Ice Age by the 1990’s. By a miracle, we dodged that bullet.
In 1988, the great Oceanographer – oh, and actor – Ted Danson said that by the year 2000, the oceans would be dead due to our polluting them, and as a consequence we would be dead also. But somehow the oceans made it, in spite of all the oil spills even the great scientist, “Sam Malone” could not foresee.
We also have dodged death by acid rain, a hole in the Ozone layer and “global warming” as we wait out a very cold spring here in Michigan.
These same leftists have now changed the story to “Climate Change”. A convenient dodge as now – no matter what the weather – they can scream, “See! See! Capitalism is killing mankind.”
But let’s celebrate this 41st Earth Day the best way we can. Buy an SUV and fill it up with high octane gas and leave it running all day. Or cut down a tree, make something useful with it and burn the scraps in a bonfire.
Or just have a cookout and burn lots and lots of charcoal. Then have a cigar or a cigarette and blow smoke rings to the heavens.
Better yet, have some sex and add to the population.
We’ve earned it. After all, we have survived our nation’s actual true natural disaster - these crazy liberals, socialists and communists, to this point. But now eradicating them (I mean politically of course) may be our only real salvation.
But for now, have a party. We are still here.
Since the first Earth Day was celebrated 41 years ago, humans on this planet have faced death – due to our own very existence and living our lives. But somehow, we are still here.
In 1968, we dodged the Population Bomb when leftist professor Paul Ehrlich said that due to over-population our Earth would run out of all resources by 2010 if we did not start massive sterilization and death panels to weed out the unnecessary among us (I assume that would be anyone who disagreed with him and other Democrats). To our peril we did not heed his warning, but we are still here.
In 1973, some scientists told us that if we did not stop burning wood, coal, fossil fuels and slow the world's manufacturing growth, our pollution of the air would cause a great Ice Age by the 1990’s. By a miracle, we dodged that bullet.
In 1988, the great Oceanographer – oh, and actor – Ted Danson said that by the year 2000, the oceans would be dead due to our polluting them, and as a consequence we would be dead also. But somehow the oceans made it, in spite of all the oil spills even the great scientist, “Sam Malone” could not foresee.
We also have dodged death by acid rain, a hole in the Ozone layer and “global warming” as we wait out a very cold spring here in Michigan.
These same leftists have now changed the story to “Climate Change”. A convenient dodge as now – no matter what the weather – they can scream, “See! See! Capitalism is killing mankind.”
But let’s celebrate this 41st Earth Day the best way we can. Buy an SUV and fill it up with high octane gas and leave it running all day. Or cut down a tree, make something useful with it and burn the scraps in a bonfire.
Or just have a cookout and burn lots and lots of charcoal. Then have a cigar or a cigarette and blow smoke rings to the heavens.
Better yet, have some sex and add to the population.
We’ve earned it. After all, we have survived our nation’s actual true natural disaster - these crazy liberals, socialists and communists, to this point. But now eradicating them (I mean politically of course) may be our only real salvation.
But for now, have a party. We are still here.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Faldo Did Not Get Unlucky – He Got Outplayed
One of the best self-training methods you can do is to review big hands you lose and try and determine any errors you made or any actions that might have changed the outcome. It is especially good to do this with a another player who’s opinion you respect. I talked this over with Thai Food.
As reported, Faldo was unceremoniously dumped out of the Howell Sharks Club Tuesday tournament on the 3rd hand dealt. After really thinking about it, it was actually the 4th hand. But was it ‘that’s poker’- or was it somehow Faldo’s fault? As the title indicates – my bad.
Let’s do the deep dive shall we?
Tournament opens and we all have 9800 in chips. Only the small blind (SB) posts for 100. Faldo is in seat 5 and the Dealer is seat 1, so the first SB is in seat 2. We have eight players as seat 8 is open.
First hand, seat 4 raises to 300 and we all fold.
Second hand, Faldo folds but there is 4-way action. After the flop Seat 4 bets and everyone folds.
Third hand, seat 4 (chip leader) is the SB. It is folded to seat 7 who raises to 300. It is folded to seat 4 who makes it 800 and seat 7 folds.
Faldo notes ‘possible loose – aggressive player in seat 4’. You can’t slip subtle things like that past Faldo. I have a maniac to my right and LittleRedElf in seat 6 to my left. I am not exactly in the best seat at the table.
The next hand Faldo is in the SB. It folds to seat 2 who makes it 300. Seat 3 calls as does seat 4. Faldo looks down to see two black aces! Faldo raises to 1200.
Discussion Point #1: Was this the proper play? Do I move all in and try and take the 900 chip pot and love a call? Should I have bet 1500, 2000 to 3000 with a better chance of getting either of the actions I desire?
Obviously, calling is not the right play here (sorry Tigercub8189, but it is not).
Discussion and thought leads me to the conclusion that I invited my demise almost much as much as a call would have. I recognized the maniac to my right and needed to drive everyone out EXCEPT probably him, which is the correct play. So a bet of 2000 to 3000 was the best play I now believe. I bet according to the chips called (300) and not their combined worth (900). I think a 2500 or 2700 bet is optimum. All in doesn’t suck either.
As it turned out, everyone calls which is the worst case for my hand. It’s called schooling and I am about to go from the shark to the chum with a flop. Pot at 4800 chips.
[ Jd Td 7c] Bad flop for aces, especially black ones. Every draw in the world is out there and any of my dream red aces could mean my death by a straight or flush hitting.
Faldo realizes this, but can’t just check and let everyone draw for free. Faldo bets 3000.
Discussion point #2: Is this the proper amount? Two-thirds pot is a standard play heads up, but against three callers? If I don’t think I am up against trip, moving all in appears to be the best play.
I have seat 2 on KK or QQ. I have seat 3 and 4 on draws or air. Maybe that is wishful thinking but that is why I bet two-thirds pot instead of all in. I want to see where I am at. My error pre-flop I incorrectly feel, forces me to play the hand this way. Why move in when only trip will call you?
But this is another error: I did not go with my read. I played it safe.
Seat 2 reluctantly folds and Seat 3 mucks so fast the cards should have gotten speeding tickets (score two correct Faldo reads). Seat 4 moves all in.
Now any other player, this is a rough but I think fairly easy fold. Trips are probably what I am facing. But seat 4 has played every hand.
Does he have (Ad Kd), (JJ), (TT), (77), (AJ), (JT), (KQ) or a flush draw {I never even considered (98) or (98 suited)}? My rockets (AA) are in serious hurt here. Remember this is RUSH POKER – and I have only 15 seconds to decide. I have no visual read due to the fact he is right next to me.
I throw out (JJ) and (TT) as I think he would have raised pre-flop with either of those. If he has (77) or (JT) then I got unlucky and my errors- pre-flop and post flop - may have caused it.
I put him on a draw (50%) or (AJ) (30%) or has me killed (77 or JT) (20%) as he seems to be an action player. I call and he has (9d 7d)!
What? Now my error pre-flop really is magnified. I see his hand and incorrectly think it is now a coin flip situation. But in reality Seat 4 is the favorite before the turn card (58% -41%). So when the [4d] hits the river, it was not a “bad beat”.
I was out-played and/or committed slow suicide. Seat 4 played the hand loosely pre-flop and correctly post flop and the card gods rewarded him. His all-in move was perfect and perfectly timed. He is behind only to trip Jacks but has a ton of outs. Post flop talent allows you to play loose pre-flop.
I lost this hand, and that tournament. But I learned from it and that should make me more money than the entry fee I lost. Chalk it up to poker tuition.
You get it free reading the NPP blog. Feel free to chime in folks.
As reported, Faldo was unceremoniously dumped out of the Howell Sharks Club Tuesday tournament on the 3rd hand dealt. After really thinking about it, it was actually the 4th hand. But was it ‘that’s poker’- or was it somehow Faldo’s fault? As the title indicates – my bad.
Let’s do the deep dive shall we?
Tournament opens and we all have 9800 in chips. Only the small blind (SB) posts for 100. Faldo is in seat 5 and the Dealer is seat 1, so the first SB is in seat 2. We have eight players as seat 8 is open.
First hand, seat 4 raises to 300 and we all fold.
Second hand, Faldo folds but there is 4-way action. After the flop Seat 4 bets and everyone folds.
Third hand, seat 4 (chip leader) is the SB. It is folded to seat 7 who raises to 300. It is folded to seat 4 who makes it 800 and seat 7 folds.
Faldo notes ‘possible loose – aggressive player in seat 4’. You can’t slip subtle things like that past Faldo. I have a maniac to my right and LittleRedElf in seat 6 to my left. I am not exactly in the best seat at the table.
The next hand Faldo is in the SB. It folds to seat 2 who makes it 300. Seat 3 calls as does seat 4. Faldo looks down to see two black aces! Faldo raises to 1200.
Discussion Point #1: Was this the proper play? Do I move all in and try and take the 900 chip pot and love a call? Should I have bet 1500, 2000 to 3000 with a better chance of getting either of the actions I desire?
Obviously, calling is not the right play here (sorry Tigercub8189, but it is not).
Discussion and thought leads me to the conclusion that I invited my demise almost much as much as a call would have. I recognized the maniac to my right and needed to drive everyone out EXCEPT probably him, which is the correct play. So a bet of 2000 to 3000 was the best play I now believe. I bet according to the chips called (300) and not their combined worth (900). I think a 2500 or 2700 bet is optimum. All in doesn’t suck either.
As it turned out, everyone calls which is the worst case for my hand. It’s called schooling and I am about to go from the shark to the chum with a flop. Pot at 4800 chips.
[ Jd Td 7c] Bad flop for aces, especially black ones. Every draw in the world is out there and any of my dream red aces could mean my death by a straight or flush hitting.
Faldo realizes this, but can’t just check and let everyone draw for free. Faldo bets 3000.
Discussion point #2: Is this the proper amount? Two-thirds pot is a standard play heads up, but against three callers? If I don’t think I am up against trip, moving all in appears to be the best play.
I have seat 2 on KK or QQ. I have seat 3 and 4 on draws or air. Maybe that is wishful thinking but that is why I bet two-thirds pot instead of all in. I want to see where I am at. My error pre-flop I incorrectly feel, forces me to play the hand this way. Why move in when only trip will call you?
But this is another error: I did not go with my read. I played it safe.
Seat 2 reluctantly folds and Seat 3 mucks so fast the cards should have gotten speeding tickets (score two correct Faldo reads). Seat 4 moves all in.
Now any other player, this is a rough but I think fairly easy fold. Trips are probably what I am facing. But seat 4 has played every hand.
Does he have (Ad Kd), (JJ), (TT), (77), (AJ), (JT), (KQ) or a flush draw {I never even considered (98) or (98 suited)}? My rockets (AA) are in serious hurt here. Remember this is RUSH POKER – and I have only 15 seconds to decide. I have no visual read due to the fact he is right next to me.
I throw out (JJ) and (TT) as I think he would have raised pre-flop with either of those. If he has (77) or (JT) then I got unlucky and my errors- pre-flop and post flop - may have caused it.
I put him on a draw (50%) or (AJ) (30%) or has me killed (77 or JT) (20%) as he seems to be an action player. I call and he has (9d 7d)!
What? Now my error pre-flop really is magnified. I see his hand and incorrectly think it is now a coin flip situation. But in reality Seat 4 is the favorite before the turn card (58% -41%). So when the [4d] hits the river, it was not a “bad beat”.
I was out-played and/or committed slow suicide. Seat 4 played the hand loosely pre-flop and correctly post flop and the card gods rewarded him. His all-in move was perfect and perfectly timed. He is behind only to trip Jacks but has a ton of outs. Post flop talent allows you to play loose pre-flop.
I lost this hand, and that tournament. But I learned from it and that should make me more money than the entry fee I lost. Chalk it up to poker tuition.
You get it free reading the NPP blog. Feel free to chime in folks.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
NPP Visits the Shark Club in Howell
Faldo left the Sharks Club early to throw his laptop out the window. Even though this was a live game on Tuesday night instead of on-line, some habits take a while to break.
But enough about me (not that the public is not crying for more) - as we have the full story from Pre01 and T3chlady with an excellent reports:
Pre01: “I made it past the second break. Down to two tables. About 35K in chips, blinds 1500.
Big blind with a 5-7 hearts, couple of callers, checked through. Flop of 5-7-10 one diamond. 6K bet got two callers. J diamond comes up, I bet 6K again.
One fold and an all in. I figured the all in for either an overpair or a straight draw. I called the all in with about 3K in chips left. He had a Q-8 diamonds. K diamonds hit the river.
I lost 32K chips in that hand. Should have pushed all in after the flop to chase him off. Duh.
Folded out a couple of hands, then got an A-4 clubs, put in my last 3K. Missed everything until the river when I hit a 4. Lost to a pair of 10’s. I finished 17th, and bummed I didn’t make the final table.
LRE had been out since second break and was at a cash game. Tech lady was still alive on the other table. Hope she made the final table.”
Now for T3chlady:
“Well it wasn’t NPP and it wasn’t the same, but five of the NPP players tried their hand at the local live version of “Rush Poker” at the Shark Club in Howell. They were Mikeniks-Faldo, LittleRedElf, Pre01, Fourbetbluff and me, T3chlady.
[Ed Note: T3chlady did not meet or see Fourbetbluff. Maybe 4Bet will chime in with his thoughts.]
The Shark version of Rush Poker is to have a single big blind and to call the clock on any delay in action. Interesting and different. I haven’t quite made up my mind yet. We were told that they eliminated the small blind because they did not want any chopped pots. Initial stack was $9800 with one addon for $10/10K.
Regarding calling the clock --- they did this to make sure the game went quickly and nobody was their beyond last call. The tournament directors said that a normal Tuesday tournament with Rush poker ended around 11.
I can say that it ended a lot sooner for all of us.
Faldo was the first to feel the throngs of a bad beat when on the 3rd dealt hand, got AA and watched them get cracked.
Next to go was LittleRedElf when his AA hit trips on the flop. By the river, his opponent was one card away from a straight or flush and, of course, hit a J to make the straight. Brutal.
After that, Pre01 ended his night (after having one of the bigger stacks and looking promising). When I asked him what happened, he said “All Bad”
So, I was left to carry the torch, but when I raised with 88 UTG and got two callers, one whom I put on Ax and the other being SS on the button I really thought I had the best hand --- What was I thinking???
Button pushed, I called, third party folded (AK) and my 88 was up against AA. Good grief! I thought that SS buttons were not allowed to have a good hand. I was seriously crippled and went out next hand. (I was the second SS at the table --- same old stuff).
So be it. Rain and cold. All was normal.
We had fun and hope to play with some more NPP players soon. Watch for a game at my house before summer arrives.”
Thank you for the excellent report folks!
But enough about me (not that the public is not crying for more) - as we have the full story from Pre01 and T3chlady with an excellent reports:
Pre01: “I made it past the second break. Down to two tables. About 35K in chips, blinds 1500.
Big blind with a 5-7 hearts, couple of callers, checked through. Flop of 5-7-10 one diamond. 6K bet got two callers. J diamond comes up, I bet 6K again.
One fold and an all in. I figured the all in for either an overpair or a straight draw. I called the all in with about 3K in chips left. He had a Q-8 diamonds. K diamonds hit the river.
I lost 32K chips in that hand. Should have pushed all in after the flop to chase him off. Duh.
Folded out a couple of hands, then got an A-4 clubs, put in my last 3K. Missed everything until the river when I hit a 4. Lost to a pair of 10’s. I finished 17th, and bummed I didn’t make the final table.
LRE had been out since second break and was at a cash game. Tech lady was still alive on the other table. Hope she made the final table.”
Now for T3chlady:
“Well it wasn’t NPP and it wasn’t the same, but five of the NPP players tried their hand at the local live version of “Rush Poker” at the Shark Club in Howell. They were Mikeniks-Faldo, LittleRedElf, Pre01, Fourbetbluff and me, T3chlady.
[Ed Note: T3chlady did not meet or see Fourbetbluff. Maybe 4Bet will chime in with his thoughts.]
The Shark version of Rush Poker is to have a single big blind and to call the clock on any delay in action. Interesting and different. I haven’t quite made up my mind yet. We were told that they eliminated the small blind because they did not want any chopped pots. Initial stack was $9800 with one addon for $10/10K.
Regarding calling the clock --- they did this to make sure the game went quickly and nobody was their beyond last call. The tournament directors said that a normal Tuesday tournament with Rush poker ended around 11.
I can say that it ended a lot sooner for all of us.
Faldo was the first to feel the throngs of a bad beat when on the 3rd dealt hand, got AA and watched them get cracked.
Next to go was LittleRedElf when his AA hit trips on the flop. By the river, his opponent was one card away from a straight or flush and, of course, hit a J to make the straight. Brutal.
After that, Pre01 ended his night (after having one of the bigger stacks and looking promising). When I asked him what happened, he said “All Bad”
So, I was left to carry the torch, but when I raised with 88 UTG and got two callers, one whom I put on Ax and the other being SS on the button I really thought I had the best hand --- What was I thinking???
Button pushed, I called, third party folded (AK) and my 88 was up against AA. Good grief! I thought that SS buttons were not allowed to have a good hand. I was seriously crippled and went out next hand. (I was the second SS at the table --- same old stuff).
So be it. Rain and cold. All was normal.
We had fun and hope to play with some more NPP players soon. Watch for a game at my house before summer arrives.”
Thank you for the excellent report folks!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Open Letter to All My NPP Friends – And a Tuesday Game Invite
First – Two Announcements
Pre01 has invited the NPP gang to a tournament at the Howell Sharks Club, 7pm Tuesday. For a $30 entry, you get 8000 chips, 15 minute blinds and a $10 add on. Faldo will be there – NPP hat in hand.
Nahanni74 has more information on the loss of our PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker freedom on her blog. See the blog list on the right side of this blog. Check it out!
Now Faldo’s Open Letter:
Our internet league has been squashed by the boot of tyranny. Get used to the feeling – more of this is on the way, but I digress.
I will keep all the records and if we can start up again on PokerStars by the end of the year, we will do so – and adjust accordingly. This will mean another strenuous NPP Tournament Committee Meeting where when Tiffany finishes with her last pole dance, a decision will be reached. Oh heavy is the crown of responsibility on the NPP Committee.
The Walk of Fame will be left on the NPP blog, as will the NPP Player of the Year List.
The 2011 POY will be named should we not play again this year on line (another committee meeting unfortunately. Will the work never stop!).
The site will still feature “New Players at NPP” and I still have to find a caddy. So that will be updated every Tuesday (if for nothing else then for the memory of our league).
Every great writer has an outline they follow. But I am going to try and have one too.
I will continue to update the blog with something at least 5 of the 7 days of the week. Any help with articles, private game invites or news of NPP player tournament exploits are always welcome.
Monday/Tuesday will have a report on Faldo’s body of work in poker for the last week. I might include as a bonus my exploits in chess, fishing, golf - or scoring with chicks.
Wednesday will be an “Advice” article. On what? Usually poker, but maybe other things – like scoring with chicks.
Thursday will be Douge2’s Humor Corner. Doug supplies the bulk of the material, but actually I get it from all the things my friends send me or tell me. Please keep the material flowing.
Friday/Saturday will be an article, picture or video that I thought was entertaining.
Sunday will be The Community Card Review with the truth and honesty not found in any of our nation’s media anywhere.
So that is the plan for the blog. Here is the long term plan of our league.
I think it is best we ride out the rest of 2011 and see what the internet poker landscape looks like in December (unless PokerStars gets turned back on before that).
Maybe we can pick another site and if there is enough interest, and give it another try.
But there is no reason why home games/tournaments, charity and casino outings and other events cannot be planned, RSVP’ed, held and enjoyed thru the NPP network of friends. Pre01 just kicked that off.
Faldo will be here at NPP headquarters at your service. NPP lives on!
Pre01 has invited the NPP gang to a tournament at the Howell Sharks Club, 7pm Tuesday. For a $30 entry, you get 8000 chips, 15 minute blinds and a $10 add on. Faldo will be there – NPP hat in hand.
Nahanni74 has more information on the loss of our PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker freedom on her blog. See the blog list on the right side of this blog. Check it out!
Now Faldo’s Open Letter:
Our internet league has been squashed by the boot of tyranny. Get used to the feeling – more of this is on the way, but I digress.
I will keep all the records and if we can start up again on PokerStars by the end of the year, we will do so – and adjust accordingly. This will mean another strenuous NPP Tournament Committee Meeting where when Tiffany finishes with her last pole dance, a decision will be reached. Oh heavy is the crown of responsibility on the NPP Committee.
The Walk of Fame will be left on the NPP blog, as will the NPP Player of the Year List.
The 2011 POY will be named should we not play again this year on line (another committee meeting unfortunately. Will the work never stop!).
The site will still feature “New Players at NPP” and I still have to find a caddy. So that will be updated every Tuesday (if for nothing else then for the memory of our league).
Every great writer has an outline they follow. But I am going to try and have one too.
I will continue to update the blog with something at least 5 of the 7 days of the week. Any help with articles, private game invites or news of NPP player tournament exploits are always welcome.
Monday/Tuesday will have a report on Faldo’s body of work in poker for the last week. I might include as a bonus my exploits in chess, fishing, golf - or scoring with chicks.
Wednesday will be an “Advice” article. On what? Usually poker, but maybe other things – like scoring with chicks.
Thursday will be Douge2’s Humor Corner. Doug supplies the bulk of the material, but actually I get it from all the things my friends send me or tell me. Please keep the material flowing.
Friday/Saturday will be an article, picture or video that I thought was entertaining.
Sunday will be The Community Card Review with the truth and honesty not found in any of our nation’s media anywhere.
So that is the plan for the blog. Here is the long term plan of our league.
I think it is best we ride out the rest of 2011 and see what the internet poker landscape looks like in December (unless PokerStars gets turned back on before that).
Maybe we can pick another site and if there is enough interest, and give it another try.
But there is no reason why home games/tournaments, charity and casino outings and other events cannot be planned, RSVP’ed, held and enjoyed thru the NPP network of friends. Pre01 just kicked that off.
Faldo will be here at NPP headquarters at your service. NPP lives on!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
NOTICE! - Added to List of Sites Available for On-line Action
Poker4Ever - 1500 players on at 9:30 am on a Sunday.
Small stakes for the most part.
Small stakes for the most part.
The Community Card Review - XXVI
Keep in mind that the Democrats had two full years of TOTAL control to constitutionally enact a budget – but kicked the can down the road. Now the Republicans are trying to do their constitutional duty that the Democrats punted on, and the Democrats second-guess, backstab and whine the entire time.
The Democrats did not dare announce a budget that QUADRUPLED the nation’s debt with ABSOLUTELY NOTING to show for it. They just did it WITHOUT telling the American people about it first.
As President Obama lies to the American people again with his speech on the budget, just take a look at a new document called the 'People's Budget.' It's the product of the Congressional Progressive Caucus (CPC), a group of Democrats in the House. Again, where was the Democrat’s when the Democrats had full control?
The CPC is not a small outfit; the caucus has 76 members, about 40 percent of the 192 Democrats in the House. Not that the non-members oppose any of the People’s ‘budget’. They just differ on how fast to implement it.
Reps. Barney Frank, John Conyers, George Miller, Charles Rangel, Rosa DeLauro, Jerrold Nadler, Louise Slaughter and others. In other words, the Progressive Caucus (actual proclaimed Socialists and Communists) -- about three times bigger than the ‘moderate’ Blue Dog Coalition – so it is no fringe organization within the House.
The 'People's Budget' is the liberals' answer to House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan's 2012 budget proposal, which Democrats say is 'leading us down a road to ruin' ... The 'People's Budget' ... would eliminate the deficit in just 10 years," and wait 'til you hear how!
"The 'People's Budget' ... would eliminate the deficit in just 10 years (Ryan's plan would take more than 25 years)" to do it, they say, while the People's Budget would be "expanding, not cutting, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.”
“This budget saves the American people from the recklessness of the Republican majority,” Grijalva and Ellison write in a letter to Rep. Chris Van Hollen. I remind you the Democrats had TWO FULL YEARS to announce a budget – as they were constitutionally supposed to - and they didn’t do it.
How can such fiscal miracles be accomplished? By tax increases that would make even Stalin gasp. Perhaps the most extraordinary is the caucus plan to raise the Social Security tax to cover nearly all of a taxpayer's income.
"Right now, the tax [FICA] is imposed on the first $106,000 of earnings. For people who make more than that, the caucus would tax a full 90 percent of income..."
That is $9 of every $10 earned after $106,000 of earnings. This is before any other federal, state or city taxes have been added.
So for every dollar earned above $106,000 you make, the tax rate would be effectively 100%. The the Social Security tax rate. FICA. So if you make $206,000 dollars, $100,000 of that would be taxed at 90% - just for the Social Security tax. Every dollar over 106 grand is taxed at 90% no matter how high it goes, no matter what your income.
The caucus would also create three new individual tax brackets for the highest incomes, topping out at 47 percent. It would also raise the capital gains tax, the estate tax and corporate taxes.
"It would create something called a 'financial crisis responsibility fee' and a 'financial speculation tax.' And of course it would repeal the Bush tax cuts," which Obama proposed in his last speech - after agreeing to them in December – and stating the tax cuts were necessary just to keep the worst economy since the Depression where it is. Now Obama proposed we get rid of them.
Who will be starting businesses, expanding businesses and hiring people a tax rate like this? Who will produce one thing over what it takes to make $106,000? Why would anyone put forth the effort?
It is “Atlas Shrugged” being played out right before our very eyes. Every innovative job creator will simply shut down.
The Progressive Caucus is just an offshoot of the Socialist Party of America. They are a bunch of, for all intents and purposes -- you call 'em socialists, but they're -- communists. How about "The People's Budget"? It sounds Maoist. It sounds like something Mao Tse-tung and the Gang of Four would write.
If anyone needed reminding, the 'People's Budget' is proof that the liberal idea of budget balancing is tax, tax, tax. If you're looking for spending cuts, you'll find just one really big one: national defense.
The liberals would end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan -- starting in 2013. They would save more money by 'reducing strategic capabilities, conventional forces, procurement, and research & development programs for the military. In other words, they would gut the United States' ability to defend itself, today and long into the future.
Obama agrees with everything in the Progressive Caucus' People's Budget. He just can't come out and support it "openly" the way the authors do, but he and the rest of that bunch loves it. Democrats must always lie about their true intentions, or they could not win an election as a dog catcher.
Democrats hate defense, want to raise taxes on everybody, and jobs would only come from working for government. This is exactly what they believe. It's exactly what Obama wants to accomplish. Enjoy your slave chains comrades.
The Democrats did not dare announce a budget that QUADRUPLED the nation’s debt with ABSOLUTELY NOTING to show for it. They just did it WITHOUT telling the American people about it first.
As President Obama lies to the American people again with his speech on the budget, just take a look at a new document called the 'People's Budget.' It's the product of the Congressional Progressive Caucus (CPC), a group of Democrats in the House. Again, where was the Democrat’s when the Democrats had full control?
The CPC is not a small outfit; the caucus has 76 members, about 40 percent of the 192 Democrats in the House. Not that the non-members oppose any of the People’s ‘budget’. They just differ on how fast to implement it.
Reps. Barney Frank, John Conyers, George Miller, Charles Rangel, Rosa DeLauro, Jerrold Nadler, Louise Slaughter and others. In other words, the Progressive Caucus (actual proclaimed Socialists and Communists) -- about three times bigger than the ‘moderate’ Blue Dog Coalition – so it is no fringe organization within the House.
The 'People's Budget' is the liberals' answer to House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan's 2012 budget proposal, which Democrats say is 'leading us down a road to ruin' ... The 'People's Budget' ... would eliminate the deficit in just 10 years," and wait 'til you hear how!
"The 'People's Budget' ... would eliminate the deficit in just 10 years (Ryan's plan would take more than 25 years)" to do it, they say, while the People's Budget would be "expanding, not cutting, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.”
“This budget saves the American people from the recklessness of the Republican majority,” Grijalva and Ellison write in a letter to Rep. Chris Van Hollen. I remind you the Democrats had TWO FULL YEARS to announce a budget – as they were constitutionally supposed to - and they didn’t do it.
How can such fiscal miracles be accomplished? By tax increases that would make even Stalin gasp. Perhaps the most extraordinary is the caucus plan to raise the Social Security tax to cover nearly all of a taxpayer's income.
"Right now, the tax [FICA] is imposed on the first $106,000 of earnings. For people who make more than that, the caucus would tax a full 90 percent of income..."
That is $9 of every $10 earned after $106,000 of earnings. This is before any other federal, state or city taxes have been added.
So for every dollar earned above $106,000 you make, the tax rate would be effectively 100%. The the Social Security tax rate. FICA. So if you make $206,000 dollars, $100,000 of that would be taxed at 90% - just for the Social Security tax. Every dollar over 106 grand is taxed at 90% no matter how high it goes, no matter what your income.
The caucus would also create three new individual tax brackets for the highest incomes, topping out at 47 percent. It would also raise the capital gains tax, the estate tax and corporate taxes.
"It would create something called a 'financial crisis responsibility fee' and a 'financial speculation tax.' And of course it would repeal the Bush tax cuts," which Obama proposed in his last speech - after agreeing to them in December – and stating the tax cuts were necessary just to keep the worst economy since the Depression where it is. Now Obama proposed we get rid of them.
Who will be starting businesses, expanding businesses and hiring people a tax rate like this? Who will produce one thing over what it takes to make $106,000? Why would anyone put forth the effort?
It is “Atlas Shrugged” being played out right before our very eyes. Every innovative job creator will simply shut down.
The Progressive Caucus is just an offshoot of the Socialist Party of America. They are a bunch of, for all intents and purposes -- you call 'em socialists, but they're -- communists. How about "The People's Budget"? It sounds Maoist. It sounds like something Mao Tse-tung and the Gang of Four would write.
If anyone needed reminding, the 'People's Budget' is proof that the liberal idea of budget balancing is tax, tax, tax. If you're looking for spending cuts, you'll find just one really big one: national defense.
The liberals would end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan -- starting in 2013. They would save more money by 'reducing strategic capabilities, conventional forces, procurement, and research & development programs for the military. In other words, they would gut the United States' ability to defend itself, today and long into the future.
Obama agrees with everything in the Progressive Caucus' People's Budget. He just can't come out and support it "openly" the way the authors do, but he and the rest of that bunch loves it. Democrats must always lie about their true intentions, or they could not win an election as a dog catcher.
Democrats hate defense, want to raise taxes on everybody, and jobs would only come from working for government. This is exactly what they believe. It's exactly what Obama wants to accomplish. Enjoy your slave chains comrades.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
It's Not About Poker Folks - It's About Control, Power and Money
Faldo's comments in [ BOLD ]
From the Pokerati blog:
Can you please give me the cliffs of what happened today? [Freedom was crushed and wealth confiscated yet again by the Obama regime]
Indictment - Eleven defendants including the founders of PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, and Absolute Poker were charged by the U.S. government with “bank fraud, money laundering, and illegal gambling offenses.”
This is the press statement released by the Department of Justice.
Those indicted:
Isai Sheinberg, Paul Tate -> PokerStars -> status: not in States
Raymond Bitar, Nelson Burtnick -> Full Tilt Poker -> status: not in States
Scott Tom, Brent Beckley -> Absolute Poker -> status: not in States
Ryan Lang, Ira Rubin ->”payment processor” -> status: not in States
Bradley Franzen -> “payment processor” -> expected for arraignment
Chad Elie ->”payment processor” -> arrested in Las Vegas
John Campos-> SunFirst Bank -> arrested in Utah
Domain Seizure [This is the freedom killer and real issue. When Egypt's revolution started, the government shut down the internet. Obama asked but one question, "How did they do it?" And sent agents over to find out.]
Five poker domains were seized by the government, and these are in the process being redirected to a Department of Justice notice. Not everyone in all of the states are receiving this graphic yet because it can take up to 24 hrs for the DOJ entries to update depending on location.
Domains seized: pokerstars.com, fulltiltpoker.com, ub.com. ultimatebet.com, absolutepoker.com.
[So much for States rights....and worse, states not fighting for their rights...again]
Civil Suit
The United States also filed a civil suit against the poker companies, their assets, and the assets of several of their payment processors.
Civil suit
Restraining Orders Against Accounts
Restraining orders were issued against more than 75 bank accounts utilized by the Poker Companies and their payment processors.
[Can I get a CHA-CHING!!! Two winners allowed in this situation - lawyers and the government. Period.
And I think this story is not only related, but the jist of what happened]:]
LAS VEGAS, April 15, 2011—Wynn Resorts, Limited announced today that it terminated its alliance with PokerStars, the online poker company. The decision was reached as a result of the indictment unsealed by the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York.
[I smell set up. PokerStars got snookered and Steve Wynn is just another government rat. The 'partnership' allowed Wynn access to the information of where and how PokerStars did business in the USA. Once the Feds had that, the rest is now history. Full Tilt also got in bed with a Las Vegas casino as a "marketing move".
Steve Wynn gets into the partnership with these 'known criminal enterprises', and gets a 'Get Out of Indictment Free' card by issuing a press release????
I say it was a set up.
Casinos everywhere are winners in this action against ex-citizens/now subjects.
This is one of the many set ups going on right now. Fake conservative politicians (Trump for one) and even some conservative media types (more on this later) are running big scams to keep the lid on, in my never humble - and almost never wrong - opinion.]
Friday, April 15, 2011
Faldo Thinks Full Tilt Poker is on Thin Ice
First of all, I want to thank all my readers for coming forward with their recent Full Tilt cash out stories. [Insert sarcastic smirk here]
Second, I want to tell you that I emailed Full Tilt and told them I was going to post this article - here and on poker blogs around the country. No response from Full Tilt except for a form letter explaining to that their customers are important to them.
Customers important? Ya think?
Let Faldo make his case as to why he thinks Full Tilt is cash – poor and/or customer tone deaf:
1. Their customer service is the absolute worst on the internet. I’ve had sites that were going under at least respond quickly to emails, phone calls or chat windows. Full Tilt does none of this. You send an email, and you may or may not get an answer in 3 to 5 days. Even then, it is usually a form letter. Pathetic. They must have cut staff to save cash.
2. Cashing out of the site appears to be a “run-around” exercise with all the appearance of a Ponzi scheme. They delay sending funds by pretending to have “bank issues”, “wire transfer issues”, “computer issues” or issues with your account information. Cash poor companies do the same thing with creditors.
3. Asking for a check hits you with a big fee. So small players have to leave money in their account. Why cash out $100 when it will cost you $25 and take weeks or months to get it?
4. Advertizing overhead appears to be excessive. Is it necessary to be paying over fifty pros to be members of your site? In an attempt to overtake PokerStars for the #1 spot, they may have over-committed resources. If you have Phil Ivey, do you really need anyone else?
5. Expenses incurred developing new software – “Rush Poker” and to keep track of their many “loyalty programs”.
6. Expenses of paying out all the “bonuses” and “cash back” for all their royalty programs.
7. The Full Tilt Store has eliminated the best offerings of goods you could receive for their Frequent Player points and most of the good ones left are “Out of Stock”. Translation; we can’t buy them or pay you for your FPP’s.
8. Items purchased at the FT Store with FPP’s takes weeks to arrive. Again, a sign of no staff, no inventory, no cash.
I will be taking my cash out of Full Tilt…..if I can get it. I want to beat the “other” rush that will start at Full Tilt.
How the #2 internet poker site in the world can be in financial trouble is hard to fathom. If they are not in financial trouble, then they culturally disrespect their customers.
Either way, Faldo is out of there, except for maybe FPP ‘freerolls’ or another Faldo Challenge at FT. Maybe do a Chris Fergusson starting with ‘zero’ dollars.
Second, I want to tell you that I emailed Full Tilt and told them I was going to post this article - here and on poker blogs around the country. No response from Full Tilt except for a form letter explaining to that their customers are important to them.
Customers important? Ya think?
Let Faldo make his case as to why he thinks Full Tilt is cash – poor and/or customer tone deaf:
1. Their customer service is the absolute worst on the internet. I’ve had sites that were going under at least respond quickly to emails, phone calls or chat windows. Full Tilt does none of this. You send an email, and you may or may not get an answer in 3 to 5 days. Even then, it is usually a form letter. Pathetic. They must have cut staff to save cash.
2. Cashing out of the site appears to be a “run-around” exercise with all the appearance of a Ponzi scheme. They delay sending funds by pretending to have “bank issues”, “wire transfer issues”, “computer issues” or issues with your account information. Cash poor companies do the same thing with creditors.
3. Asking for a check hits you with a big fee. So small players have to leave money in their account. Why cash out $100 when it will cost you $25 and take weeks or months to get it?
4. Advertizing overhead appears to be excessive. Is it necessary to be paying over fifty pros to be members of your site? In an attempt to overtake PokerStars for the #1 spot, they may have over-committed resources. If you have Phil Ivey, do you really need anyone else?
5. Expenses incurred developing new software – “Rush Poker” and to keep track of their many “loyalty programs”.
6. Expenses of paying out all the “bonuses” and “cash back” for all their royalty programs.
7. The Full Tilt Store has eliminated the best offerings of goods you could receive for their Frequent Player points and most of the good ones left are “Out of Stock”. Translation; we can’t buy them or pay you for your FPP’s.
8. Items purchased at the FT Store with FPP’s takes weeks to arrive. Again, a sign of no staff, no inventory, no cash.
I will be taking my cash out of Full Tilt…..if I can get it. I want to beat the “other” rush that will start at Full Tilt.
How the #2 internet poker site in the world can be in financial trouble is hard to fathom. If they are not in financial trouble, then they culturally disrespect their customers.
Either way, Faldo is out of there, except for maybe FPP ‘freerolls’ or another Faldo Challenge at FT. Maybe do a Chris Fergusson starting with ‘zero’ dollars.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Douge2’s Humor Corner – LXII
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?’
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old ..... I'm telling everybody!'
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?’
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old ..... I'm telling everybody!'
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tomservo2 Wins His 5th NPP Tourney – Takes Over 2nd Qtr Lead!
What a night for Tomservo2. First, all the league leaders are dusted early in this twenty-three player tourney. Then, as the short stack, rallies against three of NPP’s best to capture the win. Nice job Tom. A win, and at the right time.
We welcomed a new player – Bogus Bean, and veteran Beerhog stopped by also – fresh from a vacation in Florida. Sucks to be him.
I am very proud of the turnout. Thanks players!
On to the NPP action:
9 min: LittleRedElf (23rd) with (KK) runs into Theedouble*d’s (AA). Ouch! Many more ouches were to follow.
10 min: Rjmech (22nd) Watching the hand above and missed this one.
20 min: Derf-63 (21st) sees his (AQ) run into Tigercub8189’s (JJ).
27 min: SpartanFlash (20th) sees his (AT) run into Theedouble*d’s (AA).
36 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (19th) lost with (AK), (KK) and (AA) before losing short-stacked with (77). “Not my night” seems a little understated. I had other statements for PokerStars after this. Serenity NOW!!!!!
45 min: A short-stacked (SS) ThePunk75 (18th) has to go with (A2) and runs into 95cololla’s (KK).
51 min: Meatsword (17th) with (QJ) has to feel good about his chances when the flop is [2Q4], but Crabbyjoe154 is holding (KQ).
This is a testament to the talent in this league. The lack of exits and the talent of those already discarded, tells me this is no stroll thru a Fish-Donkey-Mope Dollar Store.
1st break:
Tomservo2 6110
Crabbyjoe154 3855
Kingbing420 3595
Douge2 2800
Absea98 2430
Beerhog 2330
Tigercub8189 1985
Theedouble*d 1884
Pre01 1870
95corolla 1712
T3chlady 1370
Suetman1 1280
Nahanni74 1241
BogusAl 775
BogusBean 675
K9isadog 588
This recovery by K9isadog is another fantastic job! But what do you expect from last year’s champ? Giving up? I think not!
63 min: A SS Suetman1 (16th) with (AT) loses to Beerhog with (AA).
64 min: A SS BogusAl (15th) with (5c 3c) loses to an equally SS K9isadog with (A7).
67 min: A SS BogusBean (14th) with (99) gets no love (as newbies often do not) as he loses a coin flip as Beerhog (Qd Td) hits his flush.
74 min: T3chlady (13th) and Nahanni74 (12th) are eliminated by Tomservo2’s two pair. I will refrain from any cheap jokes here concerning two women being beaten by two bigger pairs. That type of humor is below me.
78 min: Theedouble*d (11th) first loses with (AK) to 95corolla’s (AA). Then his SS (J9) runs into Tomservo2’s (JT).
82 min: A SS Crabbyjoe154 (10th) has to go with (Ah 7h) and runs into Pre01’s (JJ).
87 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (9th) goes with (AT) but loses a coin flip to KingBing420 with (77).
100 min: A SS 95corolla (8th) loses to KingBing420’s pair of kings.
102 min: A SS Pre01 (7th) pair of tens gets out-kicked by KingBind420.
104 min: Beerhog (6th) with (KT) hits a flop [9K3], but KingBing420 is holding (93)! Ouch.
106 min: A SS Douge2 (5th) sees his (K9) run into Absea98’s (AJ).
2nd break:
KingBing420 16228
K9isadog 11093
Tomservo2 6439
Absea98 740
122 min: A bad break for SS Absea98 (4th) as he has to go with (Ah Kh) and loses to K9isadog’s (KQ) as K9 makes a straight.
Tomservo2 goes on a tear at this point. So hot was he that;
125 min: A SS K9isadog (3rd) has to go with (KJ) and loses to Tomservo2’s (A9).
Heads up: Tomservo2 31000 - 3500 KingBing420
127 min: KingBing420 (2nd) flopped pair of twos loses to Tomservo2’s rivered pair of sevens.
Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 5th NPP win!
1st – Tomservo2 – 24 points
2nd – KingBing420 – 19 points
3rd – K9isadog – 15 pts
4th – Absea98 – 12 pts
5th – Douge2 – 9 pts
6th – Beerhog – 7 pts
7th – Pre01 – 5 pts
8th – 95corolla – 4 pts
9th – Tigercub8189 – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!
We welcomed a new player – Bogus Bean, and veteran Beerhog stopped by also – fresh from a vacation in Florida. Sucks to be him.
I am very proud of the turnout. Thanks players!
On to the NPP action:
9 min: LittleRedElf (23rd) with (KK) runs into Theedouble*d’s (AA). Ouch! Many more ouches were to follow.
10 min: Rjmech (22nd) Watching the hand above and missed this one.
20 min: Derf-63 (21st) sees his (AQ) run into Tigercub8189’s (JJ).
27 min: SpartanFlash (20th) sees his (AT) run into Theedouble*d’s (AA).
36 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (19th) lost with (AK), (KK) and (AA) before losing short-stacked with (77). “Not my night” seems a little understated. I had other statements for PokerStars after this. Serenity NOW!!!!!
45 min: A short-stacked (SS) ThePunk75 (18th) has to go with (A2) and runs into 95cololla’s (KK).
51 min: Meatsword (17th) with (QJ) has to feel good about his chances when the flop is [2Q4], but Crabbyjoe154 is holding (KQ).
This is a testament to the talent in this league. The lack of exits and the talent of those already discarded, tells me this is no stroll thru a Fish-Donkey-Mope Dollar Store.
1st break:
Tomservo2 6110
Crabbyjoe154 3855
Kingbing420 3595
Douge2 2800
Absea98 2430
Beerhog 2330
Tigercub8189 1985
Theedouble*d 1884
Pre01 1870
95corolla 1712
T3chlady 1370
Suetman1 1280
Nahanni74 1241
BogusAl 775
BogusBean 675
K9isadog 588
This recovery by K9isadog is another fantastic job! But what do you expect from last year’s champ? Giving up? I think not!
63 min: A SS Suetman1 (16th) with (AT) loses to Beerhog with (AA).
64 min: A SS BogusAl (15th) with (5c 3c) loses to an equally SS K9isadog with (A7).
67 min: A SS BogusBean (14th) with (99) gets no love (as newbies often do not) as he loses a coin flip as Beerhog (Qd Td) hits his flush.
74 min: T3chlady (13th) and Nahanni74 (12th) are eliminated by Tomservo2’s two pair. I will refrain from any cheap jokes here concerning two women being beaten by two bigger pairs. That type of humor is below me.
78 min: Theedouble*d (11th) first loses with (AK) to 95corolla’s (AA). Then his SS (J9) runs into Tomservo2’s (JT).
82 min: A SS Crabbyjoe154 (10th) has to go with (Ah 7h) and runs into Pre01’s (JJ).
87 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (9th) goes with (AT) but loses a coin flip to KingBing420 with (77).
100 min: A SS 95corolla (8th) loses to KingBing420’s pair of kings.
102 min: A SS Pre01 (7th) pair of tens gets out-kicked by KingBind420.
104 min: Beerhog (6th) with (KT) hits a flop [9K3], but KingBing420 is holding (93)! Ouch.
106 min: A SS Douge2 (5th) sees his (K9) run into Absea98’s (AJ).
2nd break:
KingBing420 16228
K9isadog 11093
Tomservo2 6439
Absea98 740
122 min: A bad break for SS Absea98 (4th) as he has to go with (Ah Kh) and loses to K9isadog’s (KQ) as K9 makes a straight.
Tomservo2 goes on a tear at this point. So hot was he that;
125 min: A SS K9isadog (3rd) has to go with (KJ) and loses to Tomservo2’s (A9).
Heads up: Tomservo2 31000 - 3500 KingBing420
127 min: KingBing420 (2nd) flopped pair of twos loses to Tomservo2’s rivered pair of sevens.
Congratulations to Tomservo2 on his 5th NPP win!
1st – Tomservo2 – 24 points
2nd – KingBing420 – 19 points
3rd – K9isadog – 15 pts
4th – Absea98 – 12 pts
5th – Douge2 – 9 pts
6th – Beerhog – 7 pts
7th – Pre01 – 5 pts
8th – 95corolla – 4 pts
9th – Tigercub8189 – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Friday, April 08, 2011
Nahanni74 Has a League and a Blog of Her Own
One of the consistent winners at NPP has started a league on Thursday nights at 8pm, using the PokerStars Home Game set up.
Scoring is based on the same formula that PokerStars uses for it’s own Tournament Leader Board. Nice!
To join GPN league, write Faldo at the npokerp at yahoo dot com and I will forward you to Nahanni74.
Faldo plays in the league every chance I get. The players are good and the banter is (almost) equal to the NPP stuff. In other words, it is a fun league too!
But, in the interest of full disclosure, Thursday evening is a regular golf night for Faldo (well, Wed thru Monday is, but I digress). I won’t be able to do Thursdays too often until late in the fall.
Nahanni74’s GPN Online blog link is on the side of the NPP blog. Check it out!
Scoring is based on the same formula that PokerStars uses for it’s own Tournament Leader Board. Nice!
To join GPN league, write Faldo at the npokerp at yahoo dot com and I will forward you to Nahanni74.
Faldo plays in the league every chance I get. The players are good and the banter is (almost) equal to the NPP stuff. In other words, it is a fun league too!
But, in the interest of full disclosure, Thursday evening is a regular golf night for Faldo (well, Wed thru Monday is, but I digress). I won’t be able to do Thursdays too often until late in the fall.
Nahanni74’s GPN Online blog link is on the side of the NPP blog. Check it out!
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Bad Luck – It Happens, So Some Tips to Deal With It
These articles are to help every poker player out there – but also to “heal thy self!”
Blaming forces beyond our control is often easier than taking responsibility for our own actions and holding ourselves accountable for the results we receive.
So you flopped six or seven flush draws in a row and they didn’t pan out. Whom should you blame - the dealer, the cards, the casino or website itself? All of them make good targets. After all, they cannot prove they didn’t do it.
But that is inconsequential. You are the poker player, the man at the switch, the engineer driving the train, the pilot, the guy with the compass plotting the course. And if you end up somewhere you’d rather not be, there are only two things that could of gone wrong. Either you screwed up or you got unlucky and it is no one’s fault. And as far as a turn of a card is concerned, neither you nor anyone else has any control over that – as long as the game is on the up and up.
If you have made all the right decisions, you can absolve yourself of blame. After all if the pot odds exceed the odds of making your hand, calling or raising is the right decision –whether you win or lose that particular hand.
If you lose that time or six of seven times in a row after that – it is no one’s fault. Poker has an element of chance ingrained in every part of the game. No one can change that, and it does no good to blame anyone for bad fortune dictated by the turn of a card. Railing against randomness does about as much good as bare-knuckle punching a brick wall.
Do yourself a favor and assume you are the problem. Even if it is not true, at least this assumption leads you down the path to corrective action. If you refuse to look at yourself as the reason you are not doing well, you may never discover the leak in your game. You may continue to make the same error time and time again.
KEY POINT: If losing due to bad luck kills you, then lower your stakes. Make it a non-painful as possible. Continue to play your best game, continue to study and improve and the cards will eventually reward your hard work.
Money saved when running badly, spends exactly the same as money won when running well.
Blaming forces beyond our control is often easier than taking responsibility for our own actions and holding ourselves accountable for the results we receive.
So you flopped six or seven flush draws in a row and they didn’t pan out. Whom should you blame - the dealer, the cards, the casino or website itself? All of them make good targets. After all, they cannot prove they didn’t do it.
But that is inconsequential. You are the poker player, the man at the switch, the engineer driving the train, the pilot, the guy with the compass plotting the course. And if you end up somewhere you’d rather not be, there are only two things that could of gone wrong. Either you screwed up or you got unlucky and it is no one’s fault. And as far as a turn of a card is concerned, neither you nor anyone else has any control over that – as long as the game is on the up and up.
If you have made all the right decisions, you can absolve yourself of blame. After all if the pot odds exceed the odds of making your hand, calling or raising is the right decision –whether you win or lose that particular hand.
If you lose that time or six of seven times in a row after that – it is no one’s fault. Poker has an element of chance ingrained in every part of the game. No one can change that, and it does no good to blame anyone for bad fortune dictated by the turn of a card. Railing against randomness does about as much good as bare-knuckle punching a brick wall.
Do yourself a favor and assume you are the problem. Even if it is not true, at least this assumption leads you down the path to corrective action. If you refuse to look at yourself as the reason you are not doing well, you may never discover the leak in your game. You may continue to make the same error time and time again.
KEY POINT: If losing due to bad luck kills you, then lower your stakes. Make it a non-painful as possible. Continue to play your best game, continue to study and improve and the cards will eventually reward your hard work.
Money saved when running badly, spends exactly the same as money won when running well.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
SpartanFlash Wins His 1st NPP Tourney!
Well, your host has to apologize to SpartanFlash for not recognizing that this was his first win. It is a big deal and I should be on top of that. But I mistakenly credited him mentally with a win by Spartytojo. Records proved me mistaken.
Anyway, belated Welcome to the NPP Walk of Fame to Spartanflash!
His win also ties him for the 2nd quarter lead with perennial all-star LittleRedElf.
On to the NPP action:
19 min: LittleRedElf (17th) with (QT), hits his [Q] on the turn, but Merhibka has (AQ).
33 min: ThePunk75 (16th) loses with (A7) to Tomservo2 with (AK).
37 min: Derf-63 (15th)
40 min: Theedouble*d (14th)
43 min: Douge2 (13th) hits 2 pair but loses to SpartanFlash’s full house.
45 min: Pre01 (12th)
50 min: A tough break for short-stacked (SS) Bogus Al (11th) with (A6) as SS Mikeniks-Faldo also goes with (A4), but a [4] hits the flop.
1st break:
Merhibka 4630
Suetman1 3910
Absea98 3300
SpartanFlash 2930
Tomservo2 2915
Crabbyjoe154 2470
Tigercub8189 2095
Messinagirl1 1510
Mikeniks-Faldo 930
T3chlady 810
67 min: Messinagirl1 (10th)
72 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (9th) with (TT) and T3chlady (8th) with (88) are victims of a double killing as they run into Merhibka’s (QQ).
75 min: A SS Tomservo2 (7th) goes with (QT) but Suetman1 pairs her sevens.
80 min: A SS Crabbyjoe154 (6th) also goes with (QT) and loses to Suetman1’s (AQ).
88 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (5th) goes with (AT) but SpartanFlash pairs his nines.
99 min: Merhibka (4th) gets the bad luck award tonight as his (KK) runs into Absea98’s flopped straight (43) [A25]!
119 min: Absea98 (3rd) goes with (KK), but SpartanFlash with (AQ) hits a [Q] on the flop.
2nd Break:
Heads up: SpartanFlash 22000 - 3500 Suetman1
125 min: Suetman1 (2nd) has to go with (7d 2d) but SpartanFlash’s (87) holds on.
Congratulations to SpartanFlash on his 1st NPP Win!
1st – SpartanFlash – 24 points
2nd – Suetman1 – 19 points
3rd – Absea98 – 15 pts
4th – Merhibka – 12 pts
5th – Tigercub8189 – 9 pts
6th – Crabbyjoe154 – 7 pts
7th – Tomservo2 – 5 pts
8th – T3chlady – 4 pts
9th – Mikeniks-Faldo – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!
Anyway, belated Welcome to the NPP Walk of Fame to Spartanflash!
His win also ties him for the 2nd quarter lead with perennial all-star LittleRedElf.
On to the NPP action:
19 min: LittleRedElf (17th) with (QT), hits his [Q] on the turn, but Merhibka has (AQ).
33 min: ThePunk75 (16th) loses with (A7) to Tomservo2 with (AK).
37 min: Derf-63 (15th)
40 min: Theedouble*d (14th)
43 min: Douge2 (13th) hits 2 pair but loses to SpartanFlash’s full house.
45 min: Pre01 (12th)
50 min: A tough break for short-stacked (SS) Bogus Al (11th) with (A6) as SS Mikeniks-Faldo also goes with (A4), but a [4] hits the flop.
1st break:
Merhibka 4630
Suetman1 3910
Absea98 3300
SpartanFlash 2930
Tomservo2 2915
Crabbyjoe154 2470
Tigercub8189 2095
Messinagirl1 1510
Mikeniks-Faldo 930
T3chlady 810
67 min: Messinagirl1 (10th)
72 min: Mikeniks-Faldo (9th) with (TT) and T3chlady (8th) with (88) are victims of a double killing as they run into Merhibka’s (QQ).
75 min: A SS Tomservo2 (7th) goes with (QT) but Suetman1 pairs her sevens.
80 min: A SS Crabbyjoe154 (6th) also goes with (QT) and loses to Suetman1’s (AQ).
88 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (5th) goes with (AT) but SpartanFlash pairs his nines.
99 min: Merhibka (4th) gets the bad luck award tonight as his (KK) runs into Absea98’s flopped straight (43) [A25]!
119 min: Absea98 (3rd) goes with (KK), but SpartanFlash with (AQ) hits a [Q] on the flop.
2nd Break:
Heads up: SpartanFlash 22000 - 3500 Suetman1
125 min: Suetman1 (2nd) has to go with (7d 2d) but SpartanFlash’s (87) holds on.
Congratulations to SpartanFlash on his 1st NPP Win!
1st – SpartanFlash – 24 points
2nd – Suetman1 – 19 points
3rd – Absea98 – 15 pts
4th – Merhibka – 12 pts
5th – Tigercub8189 – 9 pts
6th – Crabbyjoe154 – 7 pts
7th – Tomservo2 – 5 pts
8th – T3chlady – 4 pts
9th – Mikeniks-Faldo – 3 pts
Every one else earned one (1) point. Standings on the right side of the blog!
Sunday, April 03, 2011
Douge2’s Poker Tourney… a Friendly Event
Douge2 threw a home tourney last night. Three tables of family, friends and a few NPP – and non- NPP ringers thrown in.
Representing NPP was Douge2, Faldo, LittleRedElf, Rjmech, T3chlady and Thai Food.
BYOB, but the menu included Sloppy Doug’s, venison bruschetta, cheese and sausage, chips and brownies. I’m probably missing some stuff, but you get the idea. It was great!
The tourney was a $40 buy-in with unlimited re-buys until the 4th level. The blinds were 25 minutes long and at certain times in the tourney, we were all pretty deep-stacked.
The tourney lasted over seven hours – minus a few breaks thrown in. Faldo won it (most chips when down to two) but offered a cash split to end it early. Rjmech finished 3rd.
NPP will have a tourney event soon at a poker room TBD as soon as the golf courses – and Faldo – thaw out a little!
Representing NPP was Douge2, Faldo, LittleRedElf, Rjmech, T3chlady and Thai Food.
BYOB, but the menu included Sloppy Doug’s, venison bruschetta, cheese and sausage, chips and brownies. I’m probably missing some stuff, but you get the idea. It was great!
The tourney was a $40 buy-in with unlimited re-buys until the 4th level. The blinds were 25 minutes long and at certain times in the tourney, we were all pretty deep-stacked.
The tourney lasted over seven hours – minus a few breaks thrown in. Faldo won it (most chips when down to two) but offered a cash split to end it early. Rjmech finished 3rd.
NPP will have a tourney event soon at a poker room TBD as soon as the golf courses – and Faldo – thaw out a little!
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Douge2’s Humor Corner – LXI
Men are just happier people.
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Man, I’m glad I’m a man!
Every day I give thanks to God,
That I was born a man instead of a broad.
When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV.
I don’t shave my legs, I stand up to pee.
I go to a barber not a beauty salon.
I don’t pluck out my eyebrows just to draw some more on.
I don’t wax my pubs so I can wear shorts.
I use my turn signal, I understand sports.
I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons.
Don’t take any friends when I go to the john.
I don’t throw a fit when I break a nail,
I don’t buy a lot of shoes because they are on sale.
I don’t apply makeup in my rear view mirror.
I don’t think of Bambi when I’m hunting deer.
I drink beer from a bottle and not from a glass.
I don’t ask my friends about the size of my ass.
I don’t face the pain of water weight gain.
I don’t spend two hours getting ready for a date.
I don’t play with dolls….unless they inflate.
When someone asks my age, I never lie.
And after sex, my spot’s always dry.
I don’t read about orgasms in Vogue magazine.
I don’t mind if my date tries to get in my jeans.
I don’t spend a fortune on French lingerie.
This is the same underwear I had on yesterday.
I don’t take the Pill,
I don’t use Massengil.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
I don’t go thru a phase,
Every 28 days.
Your last name stays the same your entire life.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Did I miss anything?
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