Douge2’s Humor Corner – XVIII

Get er’ Done

Faldo and The Lovely and Talented are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

Faldo says to the Mrs., "Honey, I was wondering...have you ever cheated on me?"
She replies, "Oh Faldo, why would you ask such a question now? You don't
want to ask that question..."

Yes, Dear, I really want to know. Please..."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."
"Three? Well, when were they?" Faldo asked innocently.

"Well, Faldo, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start your own business and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Sweetheart, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Faldo, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how that doctor came all the way up here from Texas, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Baby, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me, Darling. I couldn't be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?"

"Well, Faldo, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president
of the golf club and you were 37 votes short..?"

First Prize!

Beerhog won first prize at a Father's Day tournament which was an envelope.

When he opened the envelope, he was very surprised to find a voucher for a free visit to a brothel. He had never been to one before but he decided to go the next day even though he was very nervous.

The girls were very friendly and soon he found a lovely young lady and went with her to her room.

Two minutes later, she came running to the Madam and asked,

"Can you tell me what a Mulligan is?"